incorrect-passione-quotes

[incorrect-passione-quotes]

Melone: I skinned my chicken nuggets.

Illuso: You’re a criminal.

Melone: Its better that way you fuck nugget.

Illuso: Ding dong, your opinion is wrong.

Formaggio: Skinless nuggets are best.

Melone: Thank you!

Ghiaccio: What the fuck, why did you skin your nuggets, that is the worst thing I’ve ever seen,  just wait until i fucking snap-

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Mista: Just tried watermelon in spaghetti. Honestly? It was pretty good.

Fugo: That’s him, officer. That’s the guy right there. Take the shot before he gets away.

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Abbacchio: You’re being arrested for reckless driving and having three people tied to the top of a car.

Melone: God damn it.

Melone:

Melone: Wait, three?

Abbacchio: ...Yes, three?

Formaggio: Oh god, oh fuck.

Illuso: ghiACCIO FUCKING FELL OFF

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Bucciarati: Look at me being escorted around town by this handsome, little gentleman.

Narancia: Just so you know, I’m speaking calmly, but there is a tantrum brewing in me the likes of which this mall has never seen.

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Doppio, waking Carne up: Hey- you ok?

Carne: I’m dead.

Doppio: I know, you must feel like crap after that-

Carne: No. I went into cardiac arrest eight minutes ago. I’m deceased.

Doppio: Oh, come on- [checks their pulse] …but… how are you talking?

Carne: Superior training. Indomitable will.

Doppio: You really don’t have a pulse!

Carne: Just adrenaline and rage keeping me going. Also, military grade Adderall.

[incorrect-passione-quotes]

Illuso: Good morning.

Prosciutto: Good morning.

Ghiaccio: Good morning.

Formaggio: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

Melone: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS

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Giorno: This job will require a bit of muscle, so I figured Trish should do it.

Narancia: What? No. I should do it. I’m a man.

Abbacchio: That’s debatable.

Narancia: Well, I’m more man than Trish.

Trish: I don’t accept that.

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Narancia: I’m quick at math!

Fugo: Okay, what’s 16 x 55?

Narancia: 28

Abbacchio: That’s not even close.

Narancia: But it was quick!

[incorrect-passione-quotes]

Risotto, back turned: You’ve been avoiding me, Formaggio.

Formaggio: How do you do that, without turning around?

Risotto: To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you, but... here we are.

[incorrect-passione-quotes]

Giorno: I brought you some food.

Abbacchio: [silently takes food]

Giorno: Can I get a “thank y-”

Abbacchio: [growling while slowly closing the door]

[incorrect-passione-quotes]

Narancia: Hey, Mista, I’ve got a slight cough and a fever.

Mista: My diagnosis is YOU’RE GONNA FUCKING DIE

Narancia: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

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Mista: You okay, bud? Was the trip really that bad?

Fugo, in a very annoyed and aggressive tone:Honestly, no! I’m just making a BIG DEAL out of a minor inconvenience ‘cause I need to vent about the MULTI-HEADED DICK HYDRA that is now my life, and I know that YOU’RE a good enough person to take it in stride!

Mista: Uh… thank… you…?

Fugo: You’re welcome! I TREASURE OUR FRIENDSHIP!

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Giorno: If you want something bad, you’ve gotta work for it. It’s time to break out the “p” word.

Narancia: Paul Blart: Mall Cop?

Giorno: The other “p” word.

Narancia:

Narancia: Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2?

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Sorbet: Marriage? I don’t know, we still seem to be at the boyfriend-boyfriend stage.

Gelato: WE FUCKED FOUR TIMES AND ADOPTED A KID!

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Ghiacco: FUCK your head and the neck it rode in on! 

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Risotto: I can’t believe you guys are at this lame party.

Illuso: You’re here, too.

Risotto: Am I? *fades into nothing*

[incorrect-passione-quotes]

Melone: So I was thinking, what if you ate chocolate with nuts, meaning you liked dick, but then ate chocolate without nuts, so you like pussy?

Risotto: Don’t sexualize my chocolate.

Illuso: What would caramel be?

Melone: …Both.