incorrect-soa-quotes

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CLAY: If you could change your name to anything, what would you change it to?

JAX: Forty exclamation points in a row and it’s pronounced like a person screaming.

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HAPPY: *sighs*

JAX: Are you bored?

HAPPY: Yeah…

JAX: Wanna fuck shit up for no reason?

HAPPY: I thought you’d never ask

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CHIBS: Where are the others?

CLAY: They’re playing hide and seek.

CHIBS: Where?

CLAY: I don’t think that’s how it works.

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TIG: Why do you think I don’t like you? I do. I would kill for you.

TIG: Ask me to kill for you.

JUICE: ... First of all, calm down-

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TARA: Caffeine no longer keeps me awake while I work, so I have Jax periodically send me texts saying “we need to talk”.

TARA: It gives me the right amount of adrenaline and fear I need to keep going.

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HAPPY: I have only punched one person, but the night is still young.

JUICE: Forgive him, he has no manners.

HAPPY: I get by on good looks.

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GEMMA: I just ended a 5 year relationship.

BOBBY: Are you ok?

GEMMA: Oh, yeah, it wasn’t mine.

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TIG: Why is there a dead person in here?

HAPPY: There was probably a live person in here, and then something happened to make them dead.

BOBBY: Great analysis, Hap.

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GEMMA: If I have to clean one more bloodstain from this carpet, I’m going to murder someone.

CLAY: Sounds a little counterproductive.

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TIG: Juice hasn’t stopped staring through the window since the storm started.

TIG:

TIG: I suppose I should let him in.

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JAX: I’m open to suggestions, here.

BOBBY: How about a tactical retreat?

JAX: What’s that?

BOBBY: It’s like running away, but manlier.

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CHIBS: I’m having a problem with my friend.

HAPPY: Kill him.

CHIBS: No.

HAPPY: Then I will kill him FOR you.

CHIBS: NO!

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JUICE: Where do I hide?

TIG: You don’t hide. You’re bait. Go act bait-y.

JUICE: What’s the plan?

OPIE: The enemies attack you.

JUICE: And then what?

JAX: The enemies kill you. We watch, we rejoice.

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TIG: The inside of your butt is warm enough to hardboil an egg.

JUICE: Oh, no. I’m not falling for that one again.

JAX: What?

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CHIBS: Ok, I don’t even have the time to tell you how wrong you are.

CHIBS: Actually it’s going to bug me if I don’t.

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GEMMA (To Tig): Don’t touch anything. You’re very pretty, but you seem clumsy.

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TIG: And then, I said KNIFE to meet you! It was a funny pun!

TARA: You just stabbed Clay! We need to take him to the hospital!

CLAY: Don’t worry, Tara, I’m in STAB-le condition.

TIG & CLAY: *finger guns*