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"I don't have a sugar daddy. I've never had a sugar daddy. If I wanted a sugar daddy, yes, I could probably go out and get one because I am what? Sickening! You could never have a sugar daddy because you are not that kind of girl. Baby everything I've had, I've worked for and I have gotten myself. I built myself from the ground up. Oh, you BITCH!"

—John Kreese, probably

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Aisha: I'm gonna fix this my way. I am going to kill Sam...

Tory: *excited gasp*

Aisha: ...with kindness.

Tory: *frowns in disappointment*

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Johnny: what happened??!?

Dutch: Do you want the long version or the short version?

Johnny: I don’t- short??

Dutch: Shit's fucked.

Johnny: Okay, long.

Dutch: Shit's very fucked.

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Tory: I don’t want to be strong like man who look pretty. I want to be strong like bitch who fight bear in the forest

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Dutch: Did you just call me a shrimp, you asshole?! I'm still growing, dammit!

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Johnny: I don't even think DUTCH made a fool of himself last night...

Tommy: You're aware he lit himself on fire, right?

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Johnny: The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me.

Bobby: Do you even hear yourself?

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Johnny: I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.

Dutch: I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.

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Daniel: I can hear the macaroni cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me

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Dutch: I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.

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Johnny: I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.

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Kreese: I would like your undivided attention, please.

Dutch: You couldn't handle my undivided attention.

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The TKK/CK wiki is made of lies.

I forgot that Johnny is canonically an Air Force Veteran

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Johnny, to Dutch: If she is already in your room, she's not gonna turn around and leave just because you left your socks on the floor

Tommy: yeah...its the socks stuffed in your underwear that cause the disappointment.

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Dutch: hey. who tried to drive me home last night?

Tommy: not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?

Dutch: i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.

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Jimmy: seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable

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Dutch: They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.

Tommy: Johnny had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”