incorrectseverancequotes

[incorrectseverancequotes]

Mr. Milchick to the MDR team: I just want to tell you all good luck. We’re all counting on you.

[incorrectseverancequotes]

Dylan: We need to get Helly to a hospital.

Mark: A hospital. What is it?

Dylan: It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now.

[incorrectseverancequotes]

Helly: Nervous?

Mark: Yes.

Helly: First time?

Mark: No, I’ve been nervous lots of times.

[incorrectseverancequotes]

Mark: Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box.

Dylan: Did Helly say 'I love you' and you said 'Thanks'?

Mark: THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL–

[incorrectseverancequotes]

Ricken: Seriously, I have no idea what to do.

Ricken: Oh, wait! Yahoo! Answers.

[incorrectseverancequotes]

Dylan: Could you be anymore annoying?

Mr. Milchick: Yes.

[incorrectseverancequotes]

Helly: I feel like doing something stupid.

Mark: I’m stupid, do me.

[incorrectseverancequotes]

Mark: Well, well, well... if it isn’t my old friend: the dawning realization that I fucked up bad.

[incorrectseverancequotes]

Dylan: You use emoji’s like a straight person.

Irving: That’s literally the worst thing anyone has ever said about me.

[incorrectseverancequotes]

Dylan: Here you go, Mark, a nice hot cup of coffee!

Mark: It's cold.

Dylan: A nice cup of coffee.

Mark: It's horrible!

Dylan: Cup of coffee.

Mark: I'm not sure if this even IS coffee.

Dylan: C U P.

[incorrectseverancequotes]

Helly: Have I ever told you that I love you with my whole heart?

Mark: For the love of all that is holy, I am not taking you to McDonalds. It’s 2am!

Helly: Mean.

[incorrectseverancequotes]

[incorrectseverancequotes]

Gretchen: I’m having an affair.

Dylan, handing the menu back to the waiter: I’ll have the affair as well.

[incorrectseverancequotes]

Ricken: Where do you want to get a healthy snack, Mark?

Mark: *scoffs* I want Chipotle…

Ricken: I SAID A HEALTHY SNACK, MARK!

[incorrectseverancequotes]

Mark: Hey, wanna take a shower with me?

Helly: I have a gun in that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

[incorrectseverancequotes]

Dylan: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration*

Irving: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table?

Dylan: I—

Dylan: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.

[incorrectseverancequotes]

Irving: There. How do I look?

Dylan: Like a cheap French harlot.

Irving: French?!