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Rya'c: "Adulting is hard."

Rya'c: "How do I quit?"

Jack: "Time travel."

Daniel: "Die."

Jack: "DANIEL."

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Daniel: "I think I did fairly well on my anatomy quiz."

Jack: "I forgot I was doing a test."

Daniel: "Jack."

Jack: "I said the vertebrae was the back stick because I thought it was funny...."

Daniel : "Jack."

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Vala : "If you water water, it grows."

Daniel: "...What."

Mitchell: "She's got a point."

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Teal'c : "What do you fear the most?"

Daniel: "That I’ll never be good enough for anyone."

Sam : "Everyone hates me and talks about me behind my back."

Jack: "Zombies."

Daniel: "..."

Sam : "..."

Jack: "BUT they can open doors."

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Daniel, pointing to Jack and Sam : "Distract them! I'll be right back!" *leaves*

Teal'c : "Very well."

*five minutes later*

Daniel: *returns and sees Jack and Sam unconscious on the ground* "What did you do? I said distract them, not knock them out!"

Teal'c : "There's just no pleasing you sometimes."

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Daniel: "Fight me!"

Jack: "Ha, look at your size! What are you gonna do, kick my ankle?"

*Later*

Teal'c : "Why is O'Neill crying?"

Sam : "Daniel kicked him really hard on the ankle."

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Sam : "What do you want then?"

Rodney: "Er… something work related."

Sam : "What department is this?"

Rodney: "Sorry?"

Sam : "Well, if it’s work related you’d obviously know what department this is. What department is this?"

Rodney: *looks at Daniel and Jack* "Some sort of homosexual department?"

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Sam : "A pessimist sees a dark tunnel."

Daniel: "An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel."

Teal'c: "A realist sees a freight train."

Jack: "The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks."

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Teal'c: "I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-"

Sam : "A doll."

Jack: "A cinnamon roll."

Daniel: "A sweetheart."

Teal'c:

Teal'c: "...stop it."

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*SG-1 is playing a board game together*

Teal'c: "I will put 'A' down to make 'A'."

Daniel: "I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'."

Jack: "I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'."

Sam : "I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'."

Jack: *flips the board*

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Sam: "So that's the plan."

Jack: "Are you okay with constructive criticism? I don't want to sound mean."

Sam: "No, go ahead. I want to hear it."

Jack: "It fucking sucks."

Sam: "Not a constructive criticism, sir."

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Sam: "Where's Vala?"

Daniel: "Well, it is raining. Maybe she melted."

Mitchell: "Shall I look outside for a pointy hat?"

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Jack: *gasps*

Daniel: "What?"

Jack: "What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish?"

Daniel: *inhales*

Sam, in another room with Teal'c: "Do you hear screeching?"

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Sam: "I'm cold."

Jack: "Here, take my jacket."

[meanwhile]

Vala: "I'm cold."

Daniel: "I can't control the weather, Vala."

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Jonas: "What if you press the brake and gas at the same time?"

Teal'c: "The car takes a screenshot."

Jack: "For the last time, get the fuck out!"

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Bill Lee: "Why are you on the floor?"

Daniel: "I'm depressed."

Daniel: "Also I was stabbed, can you get Fraiser?"

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Mitchell: "That's the longest worm I've ever seen."

Sam: "That's a snake."