ineffable-starters

[ineffable-starters]

“Russian doll” chapter one Starters.

" Staring down the barrel of my own mortality always beats fun. "

" Don't be morbid, this is your party and I'm making you a fucking birthday chicken. "

" Aren't you a little young for a midlife crisis? "

" I mean, I smoke what? Two packs a day. I have the internal organs of a man twice my age. "

" If I make it to my low 70s I'll be shocked. "

" I'ts New York. You can't let a cat outside. "

" However old you feel,(blank), you definitely sound 22. "

" Thank you. It's my bad attitude that keeps me young. "

" What? Is that your pick-up line? "

" I think I know that guy. "

" Here you go, take it easy. "

" Worries me a bit. " 

" Let's get some provisions. "

" Now, that's a good call, 'cause my little pussy lips are allergic to latex. "

" Wait for me in the back. It's okay. "

" Where did you sent them? "

" Hey, I don't want to hear about you fucking your students. I don't like that. "

" That's bold, assuming that my cat is male. "

" That is, of course, assuming I don't die between then and now. "

" Why didn't you talk like this before we fucked? "

" I didn't know you liked this type of shit. "

" I thought you were a real sick fuck, but I see you're pretty deep, actually. "

" Why don't you come over here and sit on my face right now? "

" I would... but... [phone chimes] I just called you an Uber. "

" You're not having fun? You hate your party? "

" If nobody eats my fucking chicken, I'm gonna fucking kill myself. "

" Okay, let it go. Let--- Let that go. "

" Come on. We're dancing. "

" You know, it's a myth that fish have no memory. "

" [Coughs] The fucking stairs almost killed me. "

" Nothing in this world is easy... except, pissing in a shower. "

" And, no, no, I am not late. No, it's only 11... ish. "

" I don't know what I'm doing. I was gonna go home and fuck this guy, but now I just feel so profoundly empty. "

" Do you know when menopause starts? "

" Uh, why don't we... sit crooked and talk straight? "

" This is a safe space. I'm looking for a communal experience, and not a solo performance. "

" Does this bathroom seem weird to you? "

" Uh, I can't remember the last time I ate, but then other things are so clear. "

" I think I'm dead. "

" Oh, well, she's the birthday girl and he's her ex, so if I were you, I'd get a backup plan. "

" Honestly, I think I'd feel better if you just told me, 'You sound like a crazy bitch. '"

" No, I just want to understand. So... you think you were hit by a car while you were chasing your cat, and now you're reliving your birthday? "

" No, I don't think. I'm telling you it actually happened. "

" Okay, well, let's say that you were actually hit by a car. "

" Again, not hyphotetical. Just a fact is what I'm trying to tell you. "

" So somebody who was actually struck by a vehicle maybe would have marks or something. But you, right now, look fantastic. "

" Oh, I see. So now it's just a methaphor for our relationship. "

" Me and cocaine are like oil and vinegar. "

" I just think I'm not good at mixing substances. "

" Well, my divorce is straight up harrowing at this point. "

" And... the last six months of my life have been an onslaught of personal failure. "

" Hey! What are you doing? Did you not see that car? "

" No, we're not going anywhere, okay? I'm taking you home. You need sleep. "

" You're not gonna help me look for my cat? "

" I thought your cat was a line you were using to get me to go home with you. "

" Oh my god. Do you know who gets mad about not being invited to birthday parties? Little girls. Grow up. "

" The universe is trying to fuck with me and I refuse to engage. "

[ineffable-starters]

that’s ineffable, crowley