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Sandals and sloth socks.

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Gonna be on a podcast called ArtstyAf in October with Jack. About our lives and art.

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Create like god.

This mans attention to detail is beautiful.

There’s a term often used by people to describe an artist attention to detail.. “warts and all.” It’s a saying to express that the artist has captured great details in a portrait but never leaving out the real rawness of their subject. This saying is mostly used to describe old masters technique. In all cases the greatest oil painting masters of the art world were slaves to their own craft... trying to recreate reality with every piece of their being. Never leaving their studio. Left alone to focus. Only having very select visitors ever so often. Tormented by the unfiltered rawness that is reality.

Since studying under Jack I am starting to see this unfiltered way he sees reality. No veil. It’s the new way I have been looking at the world. The world is not so pretty when you see it with warts and all but there is magic to be found in imperfection.

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How did I realize I had an issue with alcohol? I have been asked this many times since starting my journey of sobriety. Things that would stop a normal person from drinking all together never fazed me. Such as getting DUI’s crashing cars, having to pay for lawyers, spending a beautiful sunny day inside the Denver drunk tank, showing up for work hung over, loosing my job, loosing a 4 plus year relationship loosing friends loosing my drive to live. I lost it all .... I had to loose everything and even then I was still walking to the liquor store with my dog to get another 750 of vodka and how ever much beer I could fit in my backpack. Even then I was still convinced I could carry on as I was. To be honest it was actually easier to be a drunk after I lost everything. Nobody checked up on me and I didn’t have to sneak my drinking ... I could just booze freely with no cares.

No direction, no confidence certainly no self love. It was easy to be infatuated with the dark side of life. It was way easier than trying to get my self out of a hole that I created over years of denial. I’m not stupid. I knew I had an issue but I just loved being in love with darkness. I knew in my heart that I shouldn’t be going down that road but I had no tools to stop the paverbial crashing train.

Being in love with darkness is lazy. You don’t have to tap into your self at all. I only started realizing this when I fell in love with Jack. He and I became really close really fast. He told me if I drank around him I was not welcome in his life. For some reason I just decided to give it a try ..because I saw the life he created for him self and it was everything I had wanted soooo badly. A fucking amazing artist with nothing stopping him because he was able to shed everything that was holding him back. He was the most free human I’ve ever set eyes on. He was MY perfect example of - if I stop drinking I could have everything he does and more. The more sober time I spend with jack the booze started taking a back seat. Being the Libra I am I was weighing alcohol up to everything I wanted in life on a mental scale. Diving into a new art form with jack saved me and revealed the power I have inside of my self. The fire inside of my self to become a bad ass boss artist outweighed all the lies I was telling my self about how romantic it was to be a lonely drunk artist.

For me quitting drinking unlocked my suppressed potential and helped me re learn self love. It continues to allows me to show up for my self and people I love and also inspires others to do the same.

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Kinda like my sunset I painted !

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Earth ship hood. We will be back.

Looking to buy some property in New Mexico.

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Silver girl and Duane the puppy

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Pagosa oasis and there was a puppy too.

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Nowhere

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It was strange and cool

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Pagosa. Pagosa hot spring hot pool house ... 100 years old.