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Today is the final episode of Insert Image.

It’s always difficult to put a creative project to bed, and it’s never a decision I take lightly. As creators, however, we’re obligated to constantly evaluate our priorities and our creative goals. Jon Acuff says we have plenty of time to do the things we love, but less time to do the things we like. We prune and we prune, and eventually we’re left with a lot of “loves” and some hard decisions to make. Believe me, ending Insert Image was a hard decision.

Of all the comics I’ve drawn over the years, Insert Image has easily been the most gratifying. The feedback has been fantastic, the audience has continued to grow, and I feel that I’ve grown exponentionally as an artist, writer, web designer, and social media marketer over the past year-and-a-half. There’s a lot that I will take away from this experience and apply to my next creative project(s), and that definitely makes the time spent on Insert Image worthwhile.

You might be asking why I would end Insert Image when things seem to be trending upward. There are a lot of reasons, actually, and you can read all about them at wesmolebash.com. For right now (and for the sake of brevity) I’ll say this: I’ve been drawing webcomics for the better part of ten years and I haven’t yet acheived what I want to acheive – an honest living doing what I love. I feel strongly that it’s time to circle the wagons and pursue other creative endeavors unrelated to comics. So that’s what I’m going to do.

Before I sew up this post, I’d like to thank some people who’ve supported and encouraged Insert Image during the last eighteen months:

Thanks to The Christian Post, Faith Village, RELEVANT Magazine, and Tapastic for sharing their platforms with me. An extra special thanks goes out to Jeff Rojas at RELEVANT who has been a champion for this comic and is also just plain awesome.

Thanks to Tyler Huckabee at RELEVANT, Justin McRoberts, Matt Appling, and Sammy Adebiyi for the kind words and encouragement. Thanks to Blake Atwood, Obadiah Haybin, and KC Procter for the awesome guest posts and the fun email conversations that surrounded those posts.

Thanks to Carlos Whittaker who – during an all-too-short conversation – gave me some solid advice that I’ve been chewing on for the past six weeks. Many special thanks to all my creative pals: Michael Regina, Josh Ulrich, Brian Russell, Stephen McCranie, Mike Maihack, Drew Pocza, Eric Merced, Jamie Cosley, and Josh Alves. You all inspire me more than anyone else on the internet.

Thanks to Gabe Taviano for designing the Insert Image logo and to Cassidy Drummond for taking super sweet pictures of me.

Thanks to my real world bros, Chris Vanbuskirk and Matt Kysor. You guys are seriously the brothers I never had.

Thanks to my wife, Kari, who is beautiful and patient and kind.

Last but not least, thanks to all the awesome readers who have followed and supported me all these years. You all have always been so kind and so gracious, and I hope you know how much I appreciate you. Thanks for tagging along with me.

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I’ve never been to a church’s pet blessing event.

I know they occur, though. I’ve seen the flyers around my town. And despite the fact that there are a lot of people who find peace knowing their beloved pet has been blessed, these events leave this cartoonist with a lot of questions. Questions such as:

//Are pet blessings biblical? I’ve read my Bible several times, but I can’t think of an instance where a pet received a blessing. I imagine it’s possible some livestock were blessed in order to yield more production, but I can’t see why it would be advantageous to bless a domesticated pet. I have a dog and she contributes nothing to society whatsoever. I guess I could ask that God would bless her so that she would stop barking everytime someone walked in front of our house, but I feel like that would be a waste of God’s time.

//Does a pet need blessed in order to go to heaven? This is, of course, assuming that pets can even get to heaven. If they can and a blessing is necessary, does that mean a pet’s Christian faith is works- based? It seems most pet blessings occur in Protestant churches, so do pets operate under a different doctrine than the churches that are blessing them? If a pet owner doesn’t have his pet blessed and the pet goes to hell, will God judge the owner for that? Do these churches practice puppy/kitten blessings, or do they prefer to wait until the dog/ cat is full-grown so it can make the decision on its own?

//How do you explain pet blessings to your children? I assume it’s difficult to have the “will-our-family-pet-go-to-heaven” talk with your children. I can further assume it’s even more difficult if you believe a blessing is necessary to seal your pet’s fate, and you totally dropped the ball on having the pet blessed. Whatevs. You’re busy and you forgot to make the appointment. Happens to the best of us. But now what? When little Sally asks where Rufus is, what’s your angle?

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Smartphone debates are dumb. Do you see the irony?

I have friends who get fired up over their favorite smartphone manufacturer and/or OS. They get into heated debates where they throw out numbers regarding processing speeds and resolutions and SDKs. Common arguments are found in statements such as, “My phone is better because the screen is larger” and, “My phone is better because I can alter the look of the OS” and, “My phone is better because it has a kickstand.” In between these statements there’s a lot of “harrumph-ing” and eye-rolling.

Because smartphone debates tend to get REALLY intense, I believe they are the only time when it is OK to use a Jesus Juke. Especially if you are a third-party bystander.

Whenever my buddies start up an intense smartphone debate, I like to interject with, “Hey! Wouldn’t it be awesome if were as passionate about Jesus as we were about our smartphone operating systems?!” And then I walk away quickly before they have a chance to respond. BOOM.

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I’m not sure it’s possible for JP to trump last year’s Valentine’s Day gift, but this one comes pretty close.

To be honest with you, I really don’t have any super-relevant commentary to go along with this comic. I’ve been trying to figure out how to incorporate a T.D. Jakes-related joke for a while now, and I finally hit an idea that I thought fit nicely. My hope is that, upon reading this comic, Mr. Jakes would seriously consider starting a telegram service. I don’t require any compensation; knowing that I’ve helped T.D. identify another income stream is payment enough.

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I try to avoid stepping on too many toes, but today I might be crushing a whole foot.

With that said... here we go.

While driving around your town, have you ever seen a person dressed as Jesus walking up and down a well-trafficked thoroughfare with a cross on his shoulder? When you see this person do you think, “Wow. That guy is really spreading the word of Jesus!”, or do you think, “What a nut job.”?

I tend to think the latter.

Here are three reasons why I’m not a fan of this type of “ministry”:

1. It dumbs down what Jesus actually went through. I’ve seen everything from a guy in blue jeans and a high school cross country sweatshirt to a dude decked out in a complete Jesus-themed costume carrying crosses in public spaces. Both types of “cross carriers” make me roll my eyes. You see, to believe in Jesus is to believe that He was beaten within an inch of His life and then forced to carry a heavy, wooden cross up a hill; a cross that He would be nailed to and hung up for all to see. From what we can gather by studying the ancient texts, He never wore a pair of New Balance, the cross wasn’t made of balsa wood, and His blood wasn’t a mixture of corn syrup and red food coloring.

2. It’s heavy handed. Listen, I’m all about sharing our faith but I think there are certain ways we should go about it. Some people like to lay their witness on sloppy and thick, and I’m not a fan of this method. I’m not saying it doesn’t work, but I don’t know that it’s the best method. Dressing up like Jesus seems like a “sloppy and thick” method of witnessing. It’s overdramatic and specifically targets the emotions. I think our faith should be a healthy balance of knowledge and emotion, but when our faith is entirely based on emotions we are setting ourselves up for failure. An emotional foundation of faith is a shaky foundation to say the least.

3. It makes people feel like they gotta treat this guy like Jesus. He’s not Jesus. He’s just a guy who has a family and a mortgage and a car payment. He can’t perform miracles. He can’t save your soul. If you give him money you will only encourage him. If he comes into your restaurant and you charge him for the glass of iced tea he orders, you are not a bad person. Because he’s not Jesus. He’s just a guy.

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Youth leadership definitely has its perks.

In case you need proof, I’ve identified three:

You can dress as schlumpy as you want. I’ve known lots of youth pastors and I can tell you that they always dress one of two ways: really schlumpy and rumpled or hyper trendy. No matter how you choose to dress, people will think it’s your way of fitting in with the kids. No one will peg you as the super lazy slob or the OCD metrosexual you really are! Live it up!

No one expects you to have a plan. This is somewhat true of youth leaders and especially true of youth volunteers. Nine times out of ten, the person planning all the awesome youth group events is the youth pastor’s spouse and/or the church leadership. The youth pastor is too busy playing hacky sack and conducting belch contests to get involved with the actual planning of events. Volunteers have even less pressure. They just show up the day of an event and drive the kids wherever they need to go. Some volunteers put in a little extra effort so they can be the “cool car”, but that’s totally up to the volunteer. They really control their own destiny in this regard.

Play video games as your ministry. Did you know that you can do work for God while playing video games? It’s true. Next time you’re hanging out with the youth, fire up a multiplayer game of Call of Duty and start talking about fears. Or help the tall, skinny kid process a breakup. Or talk to the pimple-faced kid who always wears a WWE shirt about how he needs to respect his parents. Boom. Video games are your ministry. Cue Ray Boltz.

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Prayer warriors look nothing like actual warriors.

So forgive me if I think the term “prayer warrior” is a bit of a misnomer. I’ve met many prayer warriors during my lifetime, and none of them carry swords or wear Viking helmets or sport loin cloths like the Spartans in 300. Pretty disappointing, to say the least.

To prove my point, here are the 3 prayer warriors you’ll actually encounter in the wild:

65-year-old grandma: She’s a sweet woman. She really is. All five-foot- two-inches of her. She wears bifocals and carries a huge purse that contains her large-print Bible, a package of tissues, and a bag of Werther’s Original. When she’s not dressed up for church, she’s sporting a sweatshirt with a picture of her cats on the front. She loves Jesus and she spends much of her day reading her Bible and praying, but a warrior? I think not.

9-year-old girl: This young lady is adorable. She acts older than she really is, and everybody in the church likes to tease her dad about all the boys he’ll have to fend off the front porch in a few years. She’s probably the granddaughter of the 65-year-old grandma who taught her the term “prayer warrior”. She has an innocent love of Jesus and she prays big, bold prayers, but she can barely open the lid on a peanut butter jar let alone carry a 23-pound claymore. Sorry. Not a warrior.

17-year-old boy: OK, here’s the truth and it’s gonna hurt: this kid doesn’t really even pray. He shows up at your church’s youth group every Wednesday and Sunday night because he has a crush on your daughter. He’s learned the “lingo” so he can recite prayers with the best of ‘em, but as soon as your daughter stops batting her eyelashes at him he’ll be gone. He recently wrecked his dad’s car (again) with no repercussions, he’s an average student, and he doesn’t have a job because his parents told him, “There’s plenty of time for that after college.” Not a warrior at all.

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Let me be clear: I’m not suggesting that these people aren’t awesome at praying (except for the 17-year-old boy; seriously, you need to keep an eye on that kid), but we need to come up with a title that is more appropriate for who they are and what they do. I realize “person who prays a lot” is kinda long and clunky. What about “fervent prayer sayer”? I’ll give you “fervent”.

OK, I admit that wasn’t much better. Let’s keep the dialogue open.

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Modesty is a hot topic among Christians these days. Especially among the ladies.

Rachel Held Evans has written about the topic multiple times, as has Emily Maynard (it’s kinda her thing). Even a few dudes have weighed in on the topic including Michael Hyatt and Tim Challies, though I think it’s kinda weird when guys get all amped up about modesty. I mean, I understand it, but it still comes off kinda creepy sometimes.

Regardless, I’m about to share my thoughts on the topic in spite of any potential creepiness that may occur.

First of all, I don’t have a problem with modesty rules in theory. I think it’s important that we have a positive self image without having to resort to questionable attire.

Secondly, I understand why there’s more emphasis on female modesty than male modesty. Women are hyper-sexualized in our culture, so I think the added emphasis on modesty for girls is a direct response to our culture’s view of sex. Unfortunately, modesty rules for girls are often handled with the same zeal as proponents who defend the sexualization of women in media and entertainment. There has to be balance otherwise our rules for modesty do more harm than good. Instead of encouraging and empowering our children, we make them feel shame and guilt; often for things outside of their control!

Finally, modesty is a very subjective ideal. Not just from culture to culture, but from state to state, town to town, and family to family! There are very black-and-white examples of modesty/immodesty, but we can’t ignore that there’s a ton of gray in the middle.

With that said, I’d like to offer some thoughts regarding a few popular pro-modesty arguments. Don’t call this a rebuttal. I’m not suggesting that we shouldn’t practice modesty. Rather, I’m suggesting that we take into careful consideration how we communicate our reasoning for modesty.

//You should dress modestly to show that you are dignified. Like a lot of modesty rules, I get where this one is coming from. One of the perks of dressing modestly is that it should command respect from others rather than derision. However, we need to understand that dressing modestly doesn’t make you dignified any more than going to church makes you a Christian. Dignity is a reflection of our self-respect, and our self-respect is affected greatly by our relationships. So, if you’re a parent who wants your children to value modesty, ask yourself some questions. What kind of relationship do I have with my spouse? What kind of relationship do I have with my children? What kind of relationships are we encouraging our children to join? If we’re modeling healthy relationships and encouraging healthy relationships, then we’re providing a solid foundation for our kids to develop self-respect and dignity without shaming them every time they walk out of the closet.

//You should dress modestly to draw attention away from yourself and toward God. I feel like this argument is just a Jesus Juke of epic proportions. Not only that, but it kinda contradicts the first argument regarding dignity. We’re telling our kids to dress in a manner that commands respect, but, at the same time, not to draw attention to themselves. Talk about a mixed message!

Look, WE ALL dress in a manner that draws attention to ourselves. Take me, for example. I am a prissy man. I like my hair to be coiffed just so, I brush my teeth three times a day, and I like to wear nice clothes. Clothes that fit and look nice make me feel confident, and that is totally normal and healthy. It is also not sinful. Do my BKE jeans and button-up shirts point people to God? Man, I don’t know. The way I see it, as long as what I wear doesn’t contradict what I say, then I’m good.

//You should dress modestly so that men will not be tempted to lust. Of all the the arguments for modesty, this is the one that makes my blood boil. Ladies hear this line of reasoning A LOT, and I think it’s completely unfair for two reasons: 1) It puts undue responsibility for a man’s thoughts on a woman’s shoulders, and 2) It suggests that men have no control over their thoughts and actions. What’s happened here is someone’s taken 1 Timothy 2:9-10, paired it with Romans 14:13-23 and created a deadly cocktail of shame. So here’s my response:

Ladies: This argument begs the question, “When is modest ‘modest enough’?” You can’t control how a man views you. Even if you were to wear a sheet with holes cut out for eyes, some dude would find that arousing. Weird, I know. If you’re carrying around this burden of “not tempting men to lust”, release it. It’s not yours to carry.

Gents: “Lust” is not the same as “sexual attraction”. It is totally normal and good for you to be attracted to a woman’s looks and her figure. However, when your thoughts begin to objectify a woman rather than see her as a person, then there’s a problem. Fix it.

– There’s obviously a lot more I could say about this topic, but it’ll have to wait until another comic strip.

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“Christian dating” can be a very confusing and frustrating process.

The reason it’s so confusing is that there are a bunch of people with a bunch of different opinions about how a Christian should date, and all these people talk REALLY LOUDLY.

There are people who will tell you the types of people you should date. There are people who will tell you not to date at all.

There are people who will tell you to become Amish because your marriage will be arranged for you. That’s a load off the old shoulders, amiright?!

If you’re a single Christian trying to navigate the dating scene, allow me to add some clarity to an issue that can be quite cloudy due to dogmas and legalism. 

Here are my (JP’s) Four Steps To Christian Dating:

Step 1: Know where your genitals are AT ALL TIMES.

As Christians, we know where are genitals should be and where they should NOT be. Keep ‘em where they’re supposed to be and you’re golden, my friend. Seriously, this is like 75% of the battle.

Step 2: Don’t read Christian dating books.

I’m sure there are helpful books about dating out there written by and for Christians, but most of them aren’t helpful. They’ll just make you feel like a horrible Christian because you like to go out on dates and steal a smooch or two or ten.

If you’re wondering whether or not your dating habits are healthy, just refer back to Step 1. I’m not kidding when I say that Step 1 is the “anchor” of these steps.

Step 3: Never trust your friends who want to play matchmaker.

Our friends are well-meaning. They want to see us happy. But they don’t always know what we need in regards to relationships. Just because a person is a Christian doesn’t mean that he/she is your soul mate. I’m not suggesting that you turn down blind dates; rather, be cautious. Your friends will be VERY excited about the date they coordinated for you. My rule of thumb is to take their excitement and dial it down about twenty percent. That’s how excited YOU should be.

Step 4: When it comes to online dating websites, you get what you pay for.

There’s a reason reputable dating sites cost a hefty premium. Not only does the cost filter out potential hose bags, but these sites offer background checks and other methods of verification. Security is key because no one wants to get stabbed in the face on a first date. That’s what you get with free sites: a date who looks 40 years older than their profile pic and a Ginsu to the face.

– OK, so I guess those aren’t “steps” as much as they are nuggets of wisdom, but you get my drift. I hope this is helpful for you single people out there. And, hey, if none of this works, you can always try being popular.

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Most New Year’s resolutions are destined for failure.

The likelihood that the resolutions made by these figures in your church will fail is approximately 99.9%. Here’s why:

The Pastor: Your church’s second service is a magical time for your pastor. He knows he’s got you. First service has to end on time, but the second service offers your pastor infinite possibilities for biblical exegesis; he can really explore the sanctuary space. In many ways, the second service is akin to the director’s cut of a movie; loaded with lots of extra stuff that was wisely cut from the original version.

The A/V Guy (or Gal): I don’t know what’s goin’ on back in the booth that makes the task of scrolling through the worship lyrics so difficult. You’d think that tracking along with the worship band by occasionally tapping an arrow key would be pretty straightforward, but one of two things always happens: either the A/V guy gets trigger happy and starts blazing through the worship slides faster than you can read, or they decide to take a nap for a few verses leaving the entire congregation hanging out to dry on that new worship song. New people are walking in the church for the first time thinking the church is speaking in tongues when, in fact, the congregation is just mumbling along trying to act like they know the words. New folks never come back, the congregation never learns the words to the worship song, and the A/V guy still has a job because he’s reliable and he says “yes” to everything.

The Mom Of The Terrible Kid: Every church has at least one kid that you secretly want to trip every time he runs by you. This kid is a terror and you feel sorry for his mother who chases him futilely around the lobby. You know she is tired and overworked, but that’s still no excuse for taking her sweet time whenever her son’s “number” pops up on the screen during the worship service. Every parent knows that “number” and lives in fear of it; but you have an obligation as a parent to retrieve your child from the children’s ministry whenever her alphanumeric identifier is flashed on the screen. Either your child is crying or she is making life miserable for everyone she’s currently in contact with. Don’t dawdle; extract your child immediately.

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Christmas is my favorite holiday.

I love the music. I love the TV specials. I love the warm, vintage “vibe” of the season. It’s an amazing time of year, and the fact that I’m a new father has only enhanced my Christmas spirit. Even though Parker is only four months old and has absolutely no idea what’s going on, Kari and I have cranked the Christmas excitement up a notch. We’re having so much fun and, for the first time in a long time, I’ll be rather sad when New Year’s has come and gone.

There’s one part of Christmas that annoys me, though, and that’s the alleged “War on Christmas”. I don’t know if you can technically describe a war as a “war” if only one group of people is fighting. It seems the only people engaged in this battle are Christians, but maybe I only see it that way because I spend so much time on this side of the fence. Regardless, I think the “War on Christmas” is pretty silly, and here’s why: 

3 Reasons The War On Christmas Is Dumb

//We stole it first. The popular consensus has been that, back in the day, a group of Christians decided to celebrate the birth of Jesus on the same day as a popular pagan festival. Though this view is disputed, I think it highlights an important point about Christmas: whether or not it was “stolen”, it is a man-made event. Christmas is not mandated by God. Christmas is not mentioned in the Bible. Whatever the circumstances were when it started, Christmas was a day set aside by man to celebrate the birth of Jesus.

God is not defined by our Christmas celebrations. Jesus is not defined by our Christmas celebrations.

YOU will be defined by people outside of the church regarding your militant stance on Christmas celebrations.

//It’s so much easier to say “Happy Holidays”. There’s a lot going on this time of year, so why not lump everything into one easy-to-use phrase? It’s so much more efficient to say, “Happy Holidays!” than it is to say, “Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!” One and done, people. One and done.

On a related note, telling a Jewish person, “Happy Hannukah!” does not make you a bad Christian. Saying, “Happy Kwanzaa!” to an African- American does not make you a bad Christian. Saying, “Happy Boxing Day!” to a Canadian does not make you a bad Christian (or a socialist, for that matter).

Don’t mistake “being polite” with “turning your back on Jesus”.

//The way we celebrate shouldn’t be affected by how others celebrate. I don’t care if Christmas becomes completely secularized. I don’t care if our politically-correct culture removes all traces of Christ from Christmas and we end up calling it ‘Mas. None of that changes how I view Christmas. I’m still gonna put a star on my tree. I’m still gonna read and reflect on the second chapter of Luke. I’m still gonna sing “O Holy Night” because that’s my favorite Christmas carol. Jesus is not defined by Christmas. Neither should my faith.

– I hope you guys all have an amazing Christmas! Enjoy your family! Eat tons of food!

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As you guys know, I became a dad this year.

It’s sorta the best thing that’s ever happened.

I’ve always had a deep love of family, but I think the fact that Kari and I had “baby fever” for a couple of years before we conceived makes me appreciate it even more. So I get really excited when I find other guys with whom I resonate; guys that seem to take their role as husband and father pretty seriously and want to be awesome at it.

KC Procter is one of those guys.

KC isn’t messing around when it comes to family, but he doesn’t want to guilt you into being a better husband and father. He wants to encourage and empower you. That’s why I’ve asked him to stop by the blog today and give us a taste of his brand of parenting. It’s good stuff.

– One of the biggest tests every dad faces is whenever Mommy is out. It doesn’t matter if it’s for a weekend retreat or just to go grocery shopping in peace. The bottom line is daddy and kids are on their own. Mommy isn’t there to save anyone.

And this, my friends, is when the fun begins.

Instead of shaking in fear as you stand in the doorway and wave goodbye to your lovely wife, seize the opportunity for mischief. As those taillights fade into the distance look at your offspring, smile widely, and introduce a little chaos.

Dress your best when leaving the house. Moms have this weird fixation with matching. Especially if you or the kids are going to be seen in public. Colors, patterns, accessories, whatever. Here’s my rule: as long as our children aren’t naked, I’m a good dad. Give pajamas, costumes or audaciously mismatched colors a try the next time you take the kids out and about. (Needless to say Mommy usually picks out the church clothes in our house.)

Go to bed on time. It’s not unrealistic to expect children to sleep in their beds like civilized people 350-ish days a year. And if you don’t want to deal with zombies in the morning, kids should hit the sack before 8pm. However, once in awhile you’ve gotta throw off the chains of routine and crash on the couch (or living room floor) with popcorn and watch a Disney movie marathon.

Eat healthy. A balanced diet is important for the mental, physical and even emotional well-being of your children. But you know what is awesome? DQ Blizzards or Baskin Robbins for dinner. The best part is watching your kids hit that sugar high then crash like a derailed roller coaster. When they finally land on their bed they look like crash dummies after too many test runs.

Observe proper manners. On the subject of eating, do your kids ever eat with their mouths closed? Nagging about that and sitting straight in the chair are nightly reminders at our dinner table. I swear we’re not raising flea-infested banshees. Although, we have been known to see who has the highest quality burp on occasion. (BONUS! There are 4 factors to the perfect belch: Volume, Duration, Moisture, Pitch)

Clean up. Let’s get real, dads. Have you ever been tempted to bag up all the toys and clothes on the floor and donate them to charity? Yeah, me too. I had military parents so I can get a little nutty about messy rooms. However, if Mommy is gone for the weekend I’ll let everything slide until the last hour before she gets home. Then I teach our kids the definition of “hurricane cleaning”.

Parenting is a serious gig. Once you start the work is never over. The job description might change over the years, but you’ll always be “Dad” or “Mom”.

It’s important to teach our children the importance of self-discipline, responsibility, manners, and personal hygiene. We also need to demonstrate the value of spontaneity, fun, and a little mischief. Routines and structure enhance our lives, but they do not define our lives.

Have fun and be silly with your kids. Remember what it was like to be a kid yourself. Break a few rules. Maybe even with Mommy when she’s home.

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The Desolation of Smaug opens this week and I’m PSYCHED OUT OF MY MIND.

A lot of folks were very critical of An Unexpected Journey due to its length. The general consensus seems to be that it could have been heavily edited. In other words, it was a three-hour movie that didn’t need to be a three-hour movie. Personally, the movie gave me everything I wanted. I got to spend approximately 180 minutes in a world I fell in love with through the Lord of the Rings films, and I’m ready to visit that world again during the newest Hobbit film.

If you’re not as psyched to see The Desolation of Smaug as I am (and you need some encouragement before being roped in to see the movie with your friends), allow me to give you three reasons why you should be excited for this movie: 

3 Reasons To Be Psyched For “The Desolation Of Smaug”

The Desolation of Smaug will have more action. Don’t believe me? Then watch this trailer. Still don’t believe me? Then listen to this: not only is there a freaking awesome dragon in this movie (voiced by Benedict Cumberbatch, no less), but there’s also a MAN BEAR. That’s right. There’s a man who is also a bear. He’s a man bear. Or a bear man. Either way, he’s going to be awesome.

Legolas is BACK. You wanna know why Legolas is my favorite character from LotR? Because of this. Did you see that?! He stabbed that orc in the FACE with an arrow, and then he used that same arrow to shoot another orc! That takes skill, people. So, if you’re a Legolas fan like me, be psyched! There will be more arrow-shooting goodness from our favorite elf!

There’s a new soundtrack to listen to! The Lord of the Rings soundtracks are as epic as the movies, and the soundtrack to the first Hobbit movie continued this magnificent trend. I’ve been listening to the Unexpected Journey soundtrack in my car ALL YEAR LONG. It’s added a nice “epic fantasy” vibe to my commute through the mean streets of Chillicothe, OH. Seriously. You should try it.

–

If you’re still not convinced that The Desolation of Smaug will be any good, then I don’t know what to tell ya. You’re probably dead inside

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Many Christians are scared to death of committing blasphemy.

That’s why we do weird things like buy more items at the convenience store just so the total on our receipt doesn’t equal $6.66. I’m not sure what the implications would be if we just left the total at $6.66. I’m pretty sure that a receipt total is NOT the mark of the beast due to the fact that, according to Revelation, the mark of the beast will be all up on you. Granted, I don’t spend much time studying books on eschatology, but I think my reasoning here is pretty sound.

Regardless of whether or not a $6.66 receipt is the true mark of the beast, there are a lot of Christians who tread very lightly so as not to blaspheme God. They live in fear of it. I know this because in my short time as a pastor I’ve had to talk a couple people down from a ledge regarding this issue.

So if you live in fear of blaspheming God, allow me to debunk a few myths for you: 

4 Myths Regarding Blasphemy

$6.66 Receipts Aren’t Blasphemy. It’s true, sometimes 666 is used as a sign of evil, but most of the time it’s just a freakin’ number. If you’re at the convenience store and your receipt totals $6.66, it doesn’t mean anything blasphemous; it means you bought a couple bottles of soda and a bag of pizza-flavored Combos. So relax. Eat your Combos in peace knowing that Satan hasn’t chosen you to join his army.

Doubt is not blasphemy. I don’t care how strong your faith is (or isn’t), we all doubt. We all have those moments when we wonder if what we believe is actually true. Thomas, who was an apostle of Jesus, doubted the resurrection. In fact, he kinda refused to believe it. But Jesus didn’t flip out about it. He just showed Thomas His hands and His side and that was that. If you’re struggling with doubt, it’s cool. Keep looking for truth. You’ll find it.

Embarrassment is not blasphemy. We’ve all had those moments where we’re kinda ashamed to admit we’re Christians. We don’t want people to think we’re judgmental or weird or homophobic, so we keep the “Jesus badge” tucked under our shirt so no one can see it. Then later on we feel guilty for not proudly proclaiming our faith and we worry that we’ve done something unforgivable.

We haven’t.

Jonah ran away from God. Peter denied Christ three times; he even cursed at some folks who were trying to identify him as a disciple! These dudes were embarrassed, but Jonah ended up being an important prophet and Peter started the Church as we know it.

Embarrassment isn’t blasphemy. Quit worrying.

Anger is not blasphemy. I have a friend who has a very short fuse. It doesn’t take much for him to get really frustrated and amped up. He came to me a lot for advice because he would take his anger out on God, often cursing Him out with his thoughts. My friend was worried that he had committed an unforgivable sin by taking his anger out on God the way he did, but I told him to relax. God can handle it.

We often use Job as an example of how we should be patient during trials and difficulties. But if you read the book of Job, you’ll find that Job was pretty hacked off about the whole situation. In fact, for the entire book Job yells at God while his buddies tell him to put a cork in it. When God finally shows up, he gives Job a good scolding before giving all his stuff back.

The point: God can handle your anger.

– Finally, if you’re worried that you’ve blasphemed God, you haven’t. In fact, all my thoughts on whether or not you’ve committed blasphemy can be wrapped up in that last statement. If you’re worried about it, then you haven’t. When we see instances of the Pharisees blaspheming Jesus in the New Testament (which they did several times) you can see that they absolutely refused to believe that Jesus is God. This is unforgivable, not because God can’t forgive, but because the Pharisees’ hearts were so hardened they didn’t want forgiveness.

Therefore, if you’re worried that you’ve committed an unforgivable sin towards God, you haven’t because your worry is a sign that you care. You wouldn’t feel any conviction otherwise.

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Did you know there’s a war on Thanksgiving?

Yeah, I didn’t know either until a couple years ago. I was at work finishing up a few things during the late afternoon on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, and one of my co-workers popped his head in my cubicle to tell me he was leaving a little early. I smiled and told him to “enjoy the holiday”, to which he sternly replied, “Thanksgiving.”

I think the so-called “War on Christmas” is stupid, but I get that. Christmas is a holiday that is very special for a lot of Christians, so I get why we tend to be upset by the commercialization and sanitization of a day set aside to celebrate the birth of Jesus. I don’t think we should get as upset as we do, but I get it.

Thanksgiving, on the other hand... I don’t get that. Thanksgiving is not a Christian holiday. At least, not anymore really. I see Thanksgiving as a sort of “reverse Christmas”. In the same way Christmas used to be a pagan holiday until a bunch of Christians called “snatchies” and renamed it, Thanksgiving has morphed into a secular holiday that has little to no Christian influence anymore. So declaring a war on Thanksgiving seems a little heavy-handed these days considering the “war” was lost a long time ago.

Thanksgiving isn’t my favorite “Christian” holiday, but it’s definitely one of my favorite holidays overall. In fact, I love the entire holiday season which feels even more special this year since I’m a dad now. So this year, I’m thankful for being a dad. And I’m thankful for you guys. Thanks for reading my comic and sharing it with your friends. Seriously. You’re the best.

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I loves me some Hillsong.

I really, truly do. They are by far my favorite worship band(s), and Hillsong Live and Hillsong United are becoming a couple of my favorite bands PERIOD. When my wife and I brought our newborn son home from the hospital, Glorious Ruins was playing through the stereo. Good way to kick off my son’s life, I think.

This cartoon was originally supposed to be an epic four-tier, 16-panel comic strip, and I was getting ready to publish it that way a couple months ago. But I decided the joke needed tightened up, so I reworked it into the comic you see above. The epic grandeur of the original concept made the joke monotonous, I felt. I wound up scrapping every iteration of Hillsong EXCEPT for Hillsong Infinity. As a fan of Showbiz Pizza way back in the day, I couldn’t wait to draw the Rock-a-Fire

Explosion.

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“Preach the gospel at all times, and if necessary use words.” – probably not Francis of Assisi

I loved this quote when I was a young Christian. In fact, I think this quote caused me to be even bigger jerk than I normally would have been as a young Christian.

Here’s the deal: young Christians are jerks. This is scientific fact. Remember when you first came to Christ? And how jerky it made you? If you just recently became a Christian you’re probably a jerk right now.

The reason young Christians are jerks is because they think they have it all figured out. Especially teenagers. They go on a weekend retreat and they have an awesome experience and they come home thinking they’re Bible scholars ready to win converts to the faith. I’ve seen it time and time again.

I was no different.

In fact, my jerkyness was amplified by the possibly-misappropriated- Francis-of-Assisi quote above. You see, I used this quote to justify wearing all manner of Christian clothing and accessories. After all, that wasn’t preaching with words. It was preaching with clothing, if that is even a thing. Furthermore, I assumed that any Christian who didn’t dress like me was probably not as Christian as me.

I had all the Christian-parody-ripoff t-shirts (A Bread Crumb and Fish, anyone?), I wore THREE WWJD bracelets (in case the first one didn’t land then one of the other two might connect), and I had one of those necklaces with the colored beads that represented all the different symbols of the Christian faith. I even had these little plates on my shoelaces that said “Jesus Freak!”

Thinking about all this makes me roll my eyes. I was a billboard for Jesus, but my attitude was that of a judgmental jerk.

These days I don’t wear my faith on my sleeve. I’m proud of my God and my faith, but I don’t feel the need to broadcast it. Especially with my wardrobe.