internallyscreamingstuff

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The End of 2020′s Time

How did we handle 2020? 

If you are Trump, it is safe to say the end of 2020 was reached with a whole lot of denial. Since the election results, Trump’s Tweets have been flagged left and right with misinformation. Trump’s term has come to an end, but he has not accepted so willingly or gracefully. To top it off, he was a contestant for “Time’s Person of the Year” where he lost to his opponent yet again, as they named Joe Biden Person of the Year. 

Other recent happenings as the year concludes -Black Friday and the the general holiday season. Black Friday was popularized by online shopping this year. If you got your annual rush from claustrophobic level crowds and fighting Karen tooth and nail for the last gaming console on the shelf, you missed out. Malls and stores alike regulated their capacity to decrease the size of their crowds, putting health and safety first. 

As applied to Thanksgiving, I hope families and friends keep their Christmas and New Year gatherings to a minimum and take proper caution for their vulnerable elderly members. 

2020 is ending, what does 2021 have in store? 

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Murder Hornets, or did we forget?

In the midst of 2020′s chaos, our attention was briefly turned to “murder hornets.” If you did your research, the name “murder hornet” is not because there are ginormous hornets murdering people, it is because of their deadly effect on honey bees. Though, they are abnormally large hornets, the fact we are not the ones being murdered is likely as to why this discovery did not hold our attention for long. Additionally, it was claimed that this species would not be making their travels to SC. 

However, I am here to stir the pot and claim there may be murder hornets in South Carolina. I found this insect hanging out on my car and was immediately taken-back by its size. While I am no scientist, the picture speaks for itself. It is definitely not your average hornet. 

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media use in 2020

Maybe it’s just me, but my relationship with media throughout the year of 2020 has been “complicated.” 

As the pandemic, protests and election took-over all media (news outlets and social media), I began an unhealthy relationship. At first, it was to simply be informed. I woke up, I turned on the news and it played in the background of my morning routine. After tuning in and out, I would go to social media for reactions. I would begin searching multiple outlets for different perspectives, read blogs, scrolled through forum threads, read conspiracies. I was starting  and ending my days consuming whatever chaos happened in the past 24 hours - and in 2020 it was a lot of chaos and every day it was something new. 

Over time I began to wake-up anxious, spend the day feeling low, and I was unable to sleep at night. While this is something I tend to experience on a mild level, it was reaching extreme levels. I remember election night specifically, I stayed up watching live updates and live reactions until 4am even though I had to start my day at 6:30am. I felt drained and weighed down; it was clearly effecting the productivity of my days and my performance in class.

It is important to stay informed, but you can easily be sucked into overconsumption. Especially in a world of “staying at home.” The outside world will truly eat you alive if you are not more aware of your habits and behaviors.  Make it a point to unplug more often and for longer periods of time. Soak up your sunshine and meditate on your own being, your own world. 

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2020 can’t stop, won’t stop

the basic b*tches who love fall, pumpkin spice and everything nice!

Tis the season for turkey dinners, pumpkin spice lattes, and all the fall decor. I came across this article and couldn’t help myself from sharing - please read! While providing a little entertainment and some giggles, I was truly taken back at the origin of the Thanksgiving holidays and how it became the national holiday it has today. We use this time of year to gather our families around a soul comforting meal (something we could all use a little more of in 2020) however, there’s irony in this desire for unity, giving and thanks as it marks a time in history that white people forcefully stole land from the Indians and used their hard earned harvest to have a feast. We now load our tables with food, family and friends for a sense of “nostalgia” from a time that was never really meant to be nostalgic. Another driving force behind the creation of Thanksgiving is the celebration of the domestic woman - wow. Imagine celebrating a time where a woman’s sole purpose was strictly limited to taking care of the household and putting food on the table (not in our 2020). Lastly, all this hoop-la has taken over the commercial industry with pumpkin spice everything, creating the basic white b*tches today. Oh and I am totally one of them - I will shamlessly admit that I too love the PSL.    https://theattic.jezebel.com/how-america-invented-the-white-woman-who-just-loves-fal-1845301546

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Wrapping it up -

and with great strides!

In the spring of 2020, I withdrew from what was the beginning of my senior year as I would have been graduating in December 2020. My life seemed to take one turn of an event after another towards the end of fall 2019 through spring 2020 - I simply couldn’t catch a break. All I needed was for the world to come to an absolute stop, so that I could breathe. Well, I couldn’t stop the world, so I stopped school instead. I still gulped for air. 

Some weeks later, my friends’ spring break was extended and I joked that I was on spring break forever anyways. There were further announcements of transitioning to online classes and what do you know - from that point on, it was as if the world stopped (be careful what you wish for!). 

No, I did not wish for a pandemic, but I felt as if my internal screams were heard and projected into the universe and I was now gifted nothing but time. I had withdrawn from school then all schools half gave-up anyways, I planned to switch from a part-time to full-time worker then became unemployed, and the world was shutting down. I used this time to replan, refocus, and to take care of myself and personal life. 

Fast forward to August 2020. I used my stimulus to pay off some school bills in order to be eligible to register for the fall 2020 semester. I changed my major, I registered for classes - I was on track to now graduate in spring 2021.

Present day, November 2020. I have managed a full 15 hour semester, while breathing (almost) the entire time. Not only did I manage - I have excelled. Our semester wraps-up in roughly two weeks and I am on track for the President’s List (for the first time ever!!). I have spent the semester attending webinars, connecting with my professors, networking, and applying to any and every opportunity from internships to possible careers. Somewhere along the way, this year has been a blessing in disguise. 

I would like to think my grandmother has been closer than I thought - maybe heaven isn’t so far away. I hope you are proud. 

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“SANTA IS COMING”

- Elf. 

With recent news of a vaccine for COVID-19, just in time for the holidays, we feel ready to be with our families again. BUT, there is much still unknown in regards to the vaccine and everyone cannot possibly be injected all at once, simultaneously placing us in a pre-virus world; it is not magic. However, there is still magic in the air as it has been announced that Santa is immune to the coronavirus - and if 2020 could use anything, it’s the warmth of Christmas spirit. Check out the link to spread Christmas cheer.

https://nypost.com/2020/11/20/santa-claus-is-immune-from-covid-19-says-dr-anthony-fauci/

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just to lighten the mood

It was time to get away and spend some (safe, socially distanced) time out in the world, so this weekend I took a trip to soothe the soul.  I spent Saturday at the Fernbank Museum and the Botanical Gardens; the weather was a comfortable mid sixties accompanied by beaming rays. At the museum we learned about huge mammals, studied the night, and explored for wildlife; we pumped a giraffe’s heart, gazed at the stars, and hiked through the forest. As the sun went down, we found ourselves at The Nook having tatchos (tater tots but with nacho toppings) and a crisp craft beer before walking into the holiday night. The smell of toasted marsh mellows, creamy hot chocolate and fresh fall air was all around. Everything was to awe over and though the air was cool, you felt warm. 

Take a break from reality and jump into the rabbit hole of dancing lights, giant sculptures, and and glowing rainforest. The 2020 Garden Lights, Holiday Nights at the Atlanta, Georgia Botanical Gardens is the perfect escape into a different world; after all, it is an Alice In Wonderland exhibit. But before you do, travel through time and space at the Fernbank Museum. Forget the world around you and allow yourself to breathe, just for a day. 

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time change, pending election results and seasonal depression - OH, NO!

Is it just me, or is the 2020 time change hitting different? In the worst way.

As if 2020 has not been enough, we still had to throw Daylight Savings Time on top of it. Some people may make this transition flawlessly, but for other’s (myself included), my entire biological clock and mental state are thrown into shock. Humans are flowers - we need nurturing and we need LIGHT. Simply going out for sunshine for 20 minutes can reboost your energy and awaken your mental; your brain knows if the lights are on then it is time to be productive! This is an exercise I have used religiously since the time of COVID. When I hit my mid-day slug after hours of looking at my computer screen, I might go for a 10 minute walk or just sunbathe on the deck. However, I have had a much harder time practicing this technique since Daylight Savings - it feels as if the sun has not been out for days and if it is out, it doesn’t stay long enough. So, just a friendly reminder to catch the rays when you can, keep your lights on and drink all the coffee and tea necessary to keep truckin’. And truly, take care of and be patient with yourself as your body and mind adjust to this new schedule. 

In addition to our first week of time change, there is more change to come. The election has officially been called, but with little to no acceptance from Trump. This election year has seemed to be the most emotional and energy consuming yet. Trump claimed to win before it was ever called, he wanted votes to not be counted, he wanted more vote to be counted, he’s gotten supreme court involved, there’s now an investigation taking place, the mail-in voting was a democratic agenda all along - an absolute emotional roller coaster. If you are like me, you stayed up until 4am on election night constantly refreshing the electoral map, Twitter feed, and bounced from one news channel to another - but it didn’t stop there, it continued on and off the entire week. I have routinely had to remind myself that it is now out of our hands - we voted, we did our part and what is to come will come. It is important to be informed and knowledgeable of what is happening in the world, but we have to draw lines when our consumption becomes unhealthy. I sometimes feel as if this election and America as a whole is being treated as a reality show - what’s going to keep us on our toes, keep us tuned-in, keep us enraged, divided and restless. 

All in all, this ramble is to simply acknowledge a lot is happening in the world at this time and our personal life’s are closely effected, maybe more than we would like to admit. So, put yourself first. Self-care (whatever it means to you) - winding down with an extensive skin care routine, abiding by a certain diet, actually waking up to your first alarm, meditate, clean your house, read a book of your choice, go shopping, indulge in whatever you like; do whatever makes you feel good. Allow yourself the time to be distracted by meaningless things, allow your mind to escape. Allow yourself to breathe. 

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Another Election Post

First, let me just say - VOTE.VOTE.VOTE. 

Today is Election day. Asides from being a good day for everyone to exercise their right to vote, it is also a good day to not use social media as a determinate of if you should or should not vote. YOU SHOULD. Media does an excellent job of showing us what we want to see, telling us what we want to hear. Algorithms are feeding you two scenarios atm: 1) Trump is still going to win because the polls were wrong last year or 2) Biden is going to win because the polls say so. Whatever your opinion, the polls are only predictors and your vote matters.

Here are a few things to or to not consider, but either way, here are some things. 

There are two challenges in predicting elections: failure to capture last-minute trends + predicting who will or will not actually vote.

We can see these challenges in the 2016 election polls: there was a last-minute surge to Trump, an unexpected low minority turn-out and a post-stratification failure in education. Basically, there was no real way to account for a last minute swing, there was no guarantee in who would actually vote, and there was a huge underrepresentation of voters without college degrees that supported Trump. These are all instances that could be repeated this election season. 

There is an article that addresses “silent Trump supporters” - it speculates that people who support Trump have become more reserved in their voice and could potentially be lying to pollers because they feel it is not “popular opinion” amongst other reasons. There was a similar effect the year Obama ran; whites reported they would vote Obama for the sake of “not appearing racist.” However, results revealed a low number of white votes for Obama (compared to the prediction polls). 

There’s the statistic that democratic supporters are less likely to actually vote and republicans are more active voters - this follows a few trends. One, young/new voters are typically democratic, yet are also less likely to vote compared to old voters, who are typically republican, and are more active in voting. There are statics of minorities that follow this trend as well (seen in last election). 

My last point. Biden has gained support through his time of running, but this does not equate to Trump losing support. There are statistics that show those who supported Trump four years ago, are still supporting him today (so there is no conversion from republican to democrat over the course of the last four years). What I conclude from this, is that Biden has possibly won over new voters or those who have previously claimed to be undecided, but he has not won over the existing support that originally put Trump in office. And from this, we circle back to the concept of not knowing who will actually show-up to vote. 

Will new voters be more likely to vote? Will democrats be more likely to vote? Will there be a different turn-out for the number of minorities who vote? Will the existing Trump supports re-vote Trump? Which way will the battleground states swing?

Disclaimer: all claims made above are from a combination of articles and studies that have been covered in my “Public Opinion and Persuasion” class from this semester. These are not entirely hard facts - just a combination of discussion and material. 

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The Year that Barely Existed.

The year began on January 1, 2020 and ended about mid-March. School = virtual. Employment = unemployment. Festivals, concerts, recreational activity = canceled. Restaurants = closed. Stores? Groceries, clothes? Easy, just shop online. If you do attempt going-out into the world, remain six-feet apart and please, wear a mask. There was a summertime, supposedly. We watched it pass us by through the windows of our homes. Then school began - minus the hassle of new roommates, moving into dorms or apartments and finding your way around campus. The first day was more like: *moves from bed to desk with only my top half looking presentable.* Next thing you know, there’s exams and the semester is halfway over. Oh, Halloween didn’t really happen, we skipped that one this year. Most importantly, we’re a week away from electing a president. So, what happened about mid-March, what did we do about it and where are we now?