intolabyrinth

[intolabyrinth]

Listen…while I am fully aware of how insensitive and callous some people can be when they use ‘go to therapy’ towards anyone in some sort of distress…

I think we need to address the actual elephant in the room which is this normalized behavior of y’all feeling like it’s your ‘right’ to spill all of your trauma onto random people that you meet, just because they’re being a decent person towards you.

Like…some of y’all really do think that the moment you meet a person with your own shared interests that the only way to ‘really’ become friends with them is to dump all of your personal trauma onto them and then expect them to do the same with you. A lot of people who I see do this often say that they’re just being ‘open’ but let’s be honest, that’s not what is happening.

What’s happening is that a lot of y’all just want your own personal ‘vent bot’ to tell all of your business to, without any sort of judgement or disagreements or criticisms against your behavior, and to validate your feelings.

That’s not being ‘open’, that’s just you trapping someone with all of your personal trauma so that way they feel obligated to continue being your friend, especially if that person is a people pleaser and doesn’t like conflict.

And mind you, I’m not saying all this just to make y’all feel bad for ever venting about your feelings. You feel how you feel and sometimes, you just want someone to listen and I get that. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t express how you feel.

What I’m pointing out is the egregious amount of excuses to continue using people as emotional punching bags or personal vent containers under the guise of ‘making friends’ when the reality is that some of y’all bond with people through trauma, which is not inherently healthy.

And this can be damaging to all parties, not just the person you’re spilling your guts to. It can hurt you if you’re telling all of your deepest secrets and experiences to someone who ends up using them against you later. It can hurt the other person by making them feel guilty about putting up a boundary with you and having all that you tell them be emotionally and mentally draining for them, especially if you’re only ever going to that person to vent and nothing else.

I know that a lot of this comes from just wanting people to understand you and listen to you, and while that’s a valid feeling, it isn’t an excuse to be oblivious to the ways in which talking about your trauma with someone you just met (even if they said they were ok with it) can be damaging or can eventually become toxic. If you’re not taking into account how much you’re going to someone to tell them about the same situation, over and over again with no sign of changing your own behavior or growth, then you really can’t be surprised if that person eventually stops wanting to hear about it.

I don’t think a lot of folks have a good enough balance in their minds between speaking up when you’re not feeling well and being mindful of the information (and how much of it) you’re sharing with other people, whether they’re new or old friends. And again, please don’t take this as me saying you can’t share anything about how you feel. I’m just pointing out that there’s more nuance to this whole topic than just either violently rejecting any sort of accountability of your behavior with the excuse of mental illness/neurodivergency or violently telling people to ‘go to therapy’ when they just need a shoulder to cry on for a moment or two.

(*note: I’m using a general ‘you’ throughout this whole thing, so don’t think that I’m targeting anyone in particular.)

[intolabyrinth]

[intolabyrinth]

[intolabyrinth]

I think this should be known, it’s so important to be able to differentiate the two because they are definitely different.

Do more research, this doesn’t go super in depth. Your experiences are valid.

Causes/Triggers Below 👇

“It's not known what causes panic attacks or panic disorder, but these factors may play a role: Genetics. Major stress. Temperament that is more sensitive to stress or prone to negative emotions. Certain changes in the way parts of your brain function. Panic attacks may come on suddenly and without warning at first, but over time, they're usually triggered by certain situations. Some research suggests that your body's natural fight-or-flight response to danger is involved in panic attacks. For example, if a grizzly bear came after you, your body would react instinctively. Your heart rate and breathing would speed up as your body prepared for a life-threatening situation. Many of the same reactions occur in a panic attack. But it's unknown why a panic attack occurs when there's no obvious danger present.”

“Unexpected panic attacks have no clear external triggers. Expected panic attacks and anxiety can be triggered by similar things. Some common triggers include: a stressful job, driving, social situations, phobias, such as agoraphobia (fear of crowded or open spaces), claustrophobia (fear of small spaces), and acrophobia (fear of heights), reminders or memories of traumatic experiences, chronic illnesses, such as heart disease, diabetes, irritable bowel syndrome, or asthma, chronic pain, withdrawal from drugs or alcohol, caffeine, medication and supplements, thyroid problems”

“Panic attacks usually occur out of the blue without an obvious, immediate trigger. In some cases, they are "expected" because the fear is caused by a known stressor, such as a phobia.”

So below are a few sources! They were written and medically reviewed as well!

Informational use only.

Info-graph Source: instagram.com/dlcanxiety

[intolabyrinth]

When nothing goes right, leave towards left.

In my anxious attempt to pour the overwhelming cup of thoughts, I wonder what right love is made of. Is it right love when it is made of 6AM calls, alternative for alarms, to make it to 7:30 classes? Is it right love when it is made of lasagña on stressful days and yakult on periods? Is it right love when it is made of waiting by the gate and silent walking towards home because maybe walking is romantic and silence is holy? How will we ever know what right love is? Is loving but asking for reciprocation not right? When is the time that we should bid our goodbyes?

[intolabyrinth]

Feeding lies starve more bodies

Perhaps, with the growing height of people engaging in the proliferation of fake news, it almost seems impossible to distinguish truth. When the outbreak of 2019 Novel Coronavirus was publicized on global media, it bred an uncontrollable amount of fearmongering, hysteria, and panic among people across the world, especially Filipinos. The next days seemed like zombie apocalypse for the Philippines, except that it was only happening in the minds of the people. Capitalism has been at its peak because of the immense demand for masks and alcohol as preemptive measures. In these trying times, everyone is a victim of fake news, but the frontlines who suffer it worse are the less privileged. Life itself is war for them so the least that others can do is to direct them towards the good. It is important to recognize the urgency of social responsibility by being critical to what is being fed to us. The matchwords of people should always be to pursue truth, and not distort it.

[intolabyrinth]

Women: on the road to sexual harassment

It was during 1937 that the advent of a paradigm shift happened when Filipino women were granted suffrage. Nonetheless, even with the three-wave triumphs that women had won over the past decades, there are still a million battles needed to be fought. "Makatakuton na dakol na mga babae an nakaka-experience nin sexual harassment tapos dai sinda natataanan nin justice kan government," said Fourth Ilano, a grade 12 HUMSS student. Women are the most oppressed amongst all oppressed groups; sexual harassment is just one of the many things they are struggling to live through everyday. Unfortunately, in a nation that is fathered by a sexist, misogynistic, self-confessed molester, it is apparent that danger is just lurking in every corner where women walk on. Instead of preaching ways to combat harassment, establishing a better legal system, or educating people of their rights, it is disheartening that the President himself is an enabler of patriarchy; seeks to assure, influence, and encourage many people to continue invective tirades and ill doings against women. This is a wake-up call that in a world that has built itself on violence against women, it is a collective duty to overthrow the system that empowers it. It is the perfect time to bring the fight on streets with voices ready to scream accountability, placards on the left hand with calls that mean more than what is written, and right hand in a fist ready to smash the patriarchy down. The streets where women are often harassed should be the same place where they will be granted liberation. After all, long roads are not only made for men, but for both sexes who are designed to engineer change.

[intolabyrinth]

One drizzling evening, the pain on my left arm suddenly became so unbearable that I had to be rushed to the hospital. Immediately the next day, at three in the morning, my family and I braved ourselves to navigate through the turbulent waters despite the hovering storm. I had to be rushed but having to live 4.63 kilometers away from the city, rush meant six hours of both land and ocean travels. Few trips, starving stomachs, exhausted bodies, sleepy eyes, shifting seats, back-and-forth paces, and a few of bills at hand later, we were welcomed with the news that the doctor was on leave. Although dismayed for waiting for hours, I was happy we reached the place safe. A week later, my sister accompanied me on the day the doctor was supposed to come back, but to much more disappointment, he was still not around. It is exhausting to chase a life that is perpetually deprived by the system. I guess, it is better to just sleep.

[intolabyrinth]

Nightfall

I knew the trail like the back of my hand

A sky so fast, I walked towards the meadowland

The bats were flying, fireflies were playing

The thick clothes felt so much consoling

The next scenery played vivid in my head

Found myself in a cushion feeling resuscitated

But I mistook Aphrodite for Lyssa

And the next thing I knew, I was seeing red-hot lava

I heard chains and profanities, I feared so bad

I can only pray like an Atheist can, how sad

Painful screams resonated like a national anthem

But it was only replied with a distant siren.

[intolabyrinth]

Some ghosts bask in well-lit hallways

Well-ironed uniforms and polished shoes

Cannot justify the exhaustion, cannot give clues

Been working from eight to eight

Rejoice anyway, I'm with my teammates

Empty corridors, empty fields, empty benches

Chitchats sound loudly desperate to cover the eerie silence

Then, we heard dragging of chairs as if in great fury

Moving seats with no students had us running in a hurry

[intolabyrinth]

When Reality Felt Strange

Back in my previous school, nobody has immunity to goosebumps-worthy and asthma-inducing stories about ghosts. I used to brand them as fiction because imagination, sometimes, feels real.

However, bless my soul, I experienced it firsthand.

The student council had to stay late to finish all the necessary doings and preparations for an upcoming event. When we were about to go home, we passed by the most haunted classroom in that building. We stopped on the corridor parallel to that classroom. We were busy animatedly chatting until we all fell silent, at the same time that all the chairs in that empty room moved vigorously causing a chaotic sound. My co-officer said the ghost will follow us if we do not leave so soon.

We ran for our lives.

[intolabyrinth]

People need to read fiction and poetry because they need to understand it. How beautiful it is the way brain works for people who write these kinds of literature because they allow us to swim deeper at a mere touch on the heart. These people do not only write creatively, but more importantly, they mirror our heaven and Pandemonium in the most overwhelming and consoling ways one can ever imagine.