introverdt

[introverdt]

@introverdt​ sent : 51, dealer’s choice // look : at how i’ve been blossoming for you , and you for me.

they find each other in the quiet spaces between ; the moments of almost calm in the midst of this ongoing and never ending storm. less a pull and more a natural coming together of themselves, drawing nearer and nearer / a conscious choice.

how unexpected they are / this relationship that they’ve forged and this bond that winds so calmly around them. the determination that they had / of vastly differing origins and motivations but determination nonetheless : to see each other again and again and / again. the regression of fear and the growing of ( … ) something. something?

she finds him by virtue of knowing him ———— and how strange it is, to be known because she had wanted to know him and had wanted to see him and for no other reason and with no other cause / the purity ( not wholly accurate but there’s no other word that fits, in truth ) of that wonderment that transformed the fear that once resided in her ———— which is to say : she had experienced finding him here, before. sitting atop the thatched partial roof of the training grounds, beneath the sky beginning to turn from navy to grey.

( imagine, if you would, the oddity of the scene. wintertide up high and sitting beneath the perishing of the night sky ———— only for HER to find him / woman dipped in lavender / woman made of ivory bones / patchwork woman. the sun just about to rise and bring along with it the dawning of a new day and there is something like peace and there is something like serenity until there is a scream behind him, the likes of which he has grown steadily accustomed to, what with the familiarity of her and her presence and her everything.

and how she shouted !! how worried she sounded and how flabbergasted as he turned and looked at her with an arched brow and an almost bemused set to his mouth as she shouted up at him, her arms flailing, asking what he was doing and why he was up there and how did he get up there, anyways? and he had ————

he had smiled at her ridiculousness and her shouting and her everything. had smiled and then showed her the way / up and up and / to him.. )

felix had made his way up here hours upon hours ago, in the dead of night where sleep eluded him and drew further and further away from him until it was a far off concept that had no place in this realm of reality. fatigue is just beginning to pull at his joints and at his form but he breathes through it and works through it and found himself on the training grounds and then here, scaling part way and climbing part way and settling in this place / that can’t be called a private place / but is a place of his own carving, in a way.

her presence alongside him was neither expected nor unexpected. she moves quietly and when she appeared in the training grounds, her gaze casting to and fro as he watched her ponder and then wander and then take the same half-drawn path that he had shown her months ago. he shifts and extends a hand and she utters his name, a whisper of syllables lost in the demise of the night, before she takes it. his fingers curl around her wrist and he pulls her up and she settles. begins working on something or other ———— a sewing project, of sorts, needle and thread and fabric pulled out of a small satchel.

they find each other in the quiet spaces between ; they exist in mutual silences that curl between them so quietly and comfortably. they exist in brief moments shared with a cat as a third party. they exist when she pulls at his sleeve and leads him somewhere / anywhere / everywhere. they exist when he watches her train during a lull in his own, this glory of survival. they exist here, with their elbows brushing and the waning moon sighing above them as it descends / burning all the brighter only to fade and fade and unbecome in the coming light of the sun.

there’s a shift and a quiet noise before bernadetta’s head rests gently against his shoulder, one hand resting in the space between their hips and sewing deposited in her lap and he doesn’t start nor stiffen nor shift to refute her. instead he breathes and imagines ( accurately, of course, because while she has familiarized herself with him he has done the same, unerringly and without a moment of hesitation ) the blush that has overtaken her face from her neck to her ears. instead he allows his pinkie to settle over hers / the smallest of gestures / the most silent of allowances.

THEY EXIST AND THEY LIVE AND THEY BREATHE HERE : in the moments where the very earth itself holds its breath / just before the coming of dawn.

[introverdt]

❖ ⁺  halfknighted‌.

      ❛    SO  SYLVAIN  TELLS  ME  YOU  LIKE  TO  WRITE  —    ❜  he  also  mentioned  that  she’s  incredibly  shy  about  it  so  ashe  hopes  he  doesn’t  embarrass  her  by  bringing  it  up .  ❛    what  sort  of  things  do  you  like  to  write ?    ❜ 

@introverdt  //  if  i  open  your  cover  will  you  show  me  what  lies  in  your  pages

❛   HE  WHAT -----  !?!?!  ARE YOU SERIOUS ----- i  KNEW  i  should’ve  BURNED  that  thing !!!   oh  my  goddess ,  i  ---------  just  kill  me  now  !!  i’m  never  going  to  live  this  down .   ❟  she  doesn’t  really  listen  to  him  past  the  first  few  words  /   panic  shakes  her  nerves ,  words  strangle  and  collapse  on  her  lips .  grasping  and  crashing  fingers  on  lavender  locks  tugging  downwards  in  her  despair .

[introverdt]

                                         ❛  YOU ARE BRIGHT, LIKE  AUTUMN GOLD. 

[introverdt]

do you think you could draw ashe and bernadetta h*lding h*nds?

Cuties <3

[introverdt]

you and the people you're shipping with are honestly making me fall in love with the pairings and i need to thank you for opening my eyes to how cute bernie ships are lol...

i mean bernie is cute overall bUT THANK YOU SO MUCH I GIVE MORE CREDIT TO THOSE WHO APPROACHED ME WITH SHIPPING BC IM A LOSER AND I OWE THEM MY LIfE

srsly tho shoutouts to my main hoes ily

[introverdt]

eek!

[introverdt]

MAKE YOUR MUSE & YOURSELF 

tagged by :  @halfknighted  !  ♥  tysm  maddie ily tagging :  i  think  my  whole  dash  has  done  it  by  now ,  if  not  just  steal  it  and  say  i  tagged  you  : ^ )

[introverdt]

“ bernadetta, would you let me do your makeup ? yes ? awesome ! let’s start right now——— ” JDJSJND IM SORRY IN HER BEHALF

   CONFUSION  BUBBLES  ON  HER  SKIN ,    tremors  shaking  every  nerve  /  hands  pulled  against  her  chest  any  further  and  she’ll  tear  out  her  own  heart .  a  deep  breath  rattles  against  her  ribcage  twisting  it  into  short  yelps .    ❛   eep,  h-hild —– !!   AAAA …  wha ——— !!  wait ,  i  didn’t  agree  to  this !  ❟

     flaxen  brushes  dance  on  her  cheeks .  its  soft .  tremors  cease  to  be  as  her  hands  collapse  into  her  lap .  gentle  and  careful .  a  striking  difference  between  hilda’s  sporadic  tendencies  and  the  care  behind  each  motions .  it’s  like  painting .   an  idle  thought  soothes  her .    ❛   h-huh …  okay …  maybe  this  won’t  be  as  awful  as  i  thought …   ❟     a  sheepish  flickers  &  fades   /   to  &  from  her  hands  and  to  the  roseate  locks  cascading  off  the  other’s  shoulder .   her  lips  curve  into  a  smile   /   they  formed  the  words  ‘ thank you ’  but  the  sound  never  echoes  against  her  ivories  and  flesh .

UNPROMPTED   /     @varentine .

[introverdt]

hi i lov u

you know i didnt see this in my inbox bUT NO I LVOE YOU AND YOU LITERALLY HAVE ALL MY UWUS

[introverdt]

im back from the grave so what if i did replies and starters  👀👀👀👀👀👀

[introverdt]

MINI  HIATUS  NOTICE !!

this  is  late  as  heck  but  tomorrow  until  monday  i  will  be  going  to  disney  ( orlando bbyyy )  to celebrate my b-day  so  i  will  be  lurking  on  mobile and in case you've  been  wondering  where  been  the  last  few  days ….  lets  just  say  my  manager  made  me  work  every  day  before  going  on  my  little  trip  and  so  yeah  ive  been  workin  my  ass  off  and  now  i  got  a  sweet  ass  vacay ! 

on the 21st night of september , i will be cheering to me being able to legally drink !!  

[introverdt]

oh bernie

[introverdt]

@introverdt​ said: ❝ you put your arm around me and i literally felt my knees buckle, this is so pathetic. ❞

          it was strange that they should have met here — at garreg mach, and had fought nearly an entire war since — this girl that he was once poised to marry. daughter of the minister of religious affairs, the girl who once, supposedly, constructed dolls for the sake of tormenting her enemies. ferdinand had known by now that that wasn’t true. that wasn’t who bernadetta was. and he was infinitely grateful to have gotten the chance to get to know her like this.

          though, perhaps, he is a bit too forward as he approaches her and loops a casual arm around her shoulders. his smile is one characteristically warm & loving as he tilts his head down in her general direction. and then she speaks.

          ❛ you put your arm around me, and i literally felt my knees buckle. this is so pathetic. ❜ this only makes him drop his arm to her waist and pull her closer. he chuckles at the reddening of her face & the squeak that was soon to follow. ❛ i’m sorry, if that was the reaction i’d gotten from simply putting an arm around your shoulders, i was curious to see what would happen if i tried something else. was that … too crass ? ❜

          he’d never known a lady quite like bernadetta. he was not oblivious to his own charms, for sure, and he’d seen how it’d affected the other women of the court, but bernadetta certainly was something else. he constantly worried if he was pushing her boundaries too much.

          ❛ perhaps, i should carry you instead ? i wouldn’t mind it, seeing as i’ve made your knees buckle. ❜

[introverdt]

🤝 + 32 !

when the moon dies ———— it goes quietly / so quietly / fading from the night sky only to be reborn steadily and slowly in the coming days and oh. how the night sky seems to yearn hopelessly for the borrowed light of the moon : the stars too distant and the sun gone / gone far away : to find the moon once more. or so they say, that is, THOSE LEGENDS OF THE SKY told and retold again and again and again and when he was younger he had gone wide eyed and awed at the mere thought of it all.

                  ‘you look like you’ve swallowed the moon.’                  ‘what’s that supposed to mean?’                   ‘that your mouth is wide enough to swallow it !!’                   ‘glenn.’ pouting and pouting and pouting and                               brother dear was laughing and laughing and laughing.

———— the sky yearns and yawns and wallows in its darkened misery and he strides beneath it and shrugs off the conceptualization of memories long gone and this is a sleepless night / how many sleepless nights have there been, truly? so many. too many. nightmares plague him still and his bones creak beneath the weight of them as he fights / to stop himself from peeling away a layer of his skin. and another. and another. until there’s nothing at all left to hold these nightmares anymore and they simply : fall. scatter. into nothingness / the idea of nothingness.

he sits beneath the wailing, lonely sky and breathes. steadily. deeply. legs folded and eyes closed and struggling to find a center of gravity / off kilter and neither here nor there nor much of ANYWHERE and perhaps he is the one scattered. the one fallen. his skin peeled back and rather than the nightmares fleeing / he has fled / and he is here. and not here. and breathing : MEDITATING BENEATH THE SCREAMING EMPTY MOONLESS SKY.

and her touch on his shoulder slams him back into his body / full force and shuddering and he’s twisting before he realizes and there’s a hand on his sword hilt before he considers it and he’s grabbing for her before his eyes fully open and alert and wary and nerves screaming and nerves alight and her scream registers in his mind / well before she does / well before his eyes open and he SEES HER PROPERLY. her scream. her scream : which reeks of familiarity, something that he has heard time and time again and has remembered well and truly and wholly. the cadence of it and the CRESCENDO OF IT and her wrist is in his hand and he stops himself from throwing her bodily in an act of useless self defense.

foolish. to have fallen asleep here where anyone could have attacked him / killed him / slaughtered him where he sat and that it’s HER WHO FOUND HIM cannot begin to dull the frenetic writhing of his nerves and how he has careened so neatly from false peace into the loud thrumming of his heart. echoing. echoing. echoing.

BERNADETTA IS SCREAMING STILL because : of course she is. his eyes open as his arm is pulled as she / falls / sprawling over the ground beside him and there is no feasible end to her screaming in the here and now. merely her eyes wide and terrified and staring into his and his expression ———— frigidly thunderous, he supposes. he assumes. he can only begin to imagine.

❝ stop. screaming. ❞ his head POUNDS, a steady throb at his temples and his skin crawls, still. even as he holds onto her wrist and even as her scream begins to taper and even as her fingers twitch in his periphery before settling once more and even as they simply stare at each other for a moment. and then another. and then another. silence reigns / broken only by her gasping breaths. ❝ you idiot ———— i could have killed you. ❞

you could have killed me. you could have killed me. you could have killed me.

❝ u—um, i’m sorry !! i’m s—sorry you were just ———— sitting there and i w—wanted you to ———— i—i just wanted to ———— i shouldn’t have !! stupid bernie i ———— ❞

( would you like to know something? something revealing and considering and substantial? would you like to know that WINTERTIDE, so very cold and distant, awakens at even the slightest of noises? the softest of sounds? just beyond his door. sleep is an ill fitting activity for him and for his mind and for the rushing scatter of his thoughts and his deep set paranoia which sinks its teeth so firmly into him ———— there are few who do not awaken him. few whose footsteps he has become so well accustomed to that they are a NON CONCERN to him / footprints settled deep into the snow that covers the whole of him. few who grow so close to him that they begin to tread their paths and just —— begin —— to crack that ice.

would you like to know something ? ———— ah. you’ve figured it out already, haven’t you? )

❝ shut up, ❞ demand a falling knife and she quiets immediately and stares at him / wide eyed and there is : something that settles in his chest. heavy and weighted and weighing and / brushed by light? by ———— something. something. something. something that carries within it an enormity yet an antithetical gentility, filling the whole of his chest / fit to burst.

maybe he had swallowed the moon, after all. ( or is that lo —— ? )

❝ ———— thank you, ❞ the words are ice / turned to snow / grounded but softer by far for all that they remain to be cold, melting on his tongue and the fear in her eyes and the tenseness in her form settles. gentles, too. he looks at her. he looks at her. ❝ for waking me. i shouldn’t have fallen asleep out in the open. ❞

❝ y… you’re welcome, ❞ quiet and petal soft and this solidity in his chest sighs, poised to crack. he holds onto her wrist / until he doesn’t.

( the sun searches for the moon ——— who searches for the sun ——— who is a star, indeed. )

@introverdt​ // your heart is honey — heavy. —— touch.

[introverdt]

⁺ › ❛  halfknighted  .

      WELL  THAT’S  NOT  WHAT  HE  WAS  EXPECTING .  truth  be  told  he  doesn’t  know  what  he  was  expecting  but  it  certainly  not  that .  her  panicked  energy  very  easily  rubs  off  on  him  in  mere  seconds ,  causing  him  to  frantically  wave  his  hands  in  an  attempt  to  reassure  her  that  he  was  no  foe .  ❛    no ,  no  wait !  i  believe  there’s  a  misunderstanding .  i’m  —    ❜  

      HE  STOPS  MID - SENTENCE ,  noticing  the novel  now  lying  on  the  ground  beside  them .  carefully  he  lowers  himself  to  her  level  before  picking  up  the  fallen  book .  ❛    wait ,  i’ve  read  this  before .    ❜  he  remains  crouched  down ,  eyes  wide  as  he  looks  between  the  girl  &  the  book . ❛    is  this  your  book ?  you  have  excellent  taste .  ❜

    SETTLING  HER  OWN  NERVES ,    she  takes  a  deep  breath  and  tightening  the  grip  on  her  hand .  her  tremors  reduced  significantly  the  steadier  her  breathing  got .  a  terrible  habit  she  has  yet  to  break .    ❛   i - i !!  uhhh … i - i’m  sorry  for  jumping  to  conclusions  like  that . . .   i’m just . . .  ❟

     hesitation  curses  her  words  /  she  gives  up  on  using  them.  a  slight  sulk  looms  over  her  shoulders  and  hangs  off  her  eyelids ,  threatened  by  tears  influence  by  the  claws  of  her  paranoia .  his  voice  was  soft  but  expressive .  she  keeps  her  gaze  locked  on  him  as  he  lowers  himself  down  to  her .  handing  back  her  novel .  she  squeaks  at  the  gesture  and  with  shaky  hands  she  grabs  the  book ,  but  lacks  the  strength  to  pull  it  back  to  her .  a  bashful  expression  paints  over  her  eyelids  /   cheeks  /   lips  .   then  twists  into  a  sincere  fragile  smile  and  lit  up  irises  /  she  nods  happily  and  chirps  up  dramatically  as  a  result .    ❛   eep !  y-yes ----  oh ?!  um . . . th - thank  you ?!   i  don’t  think  i’ve  met  anyone  else  who  really  likes  this  series !   erm.... bernie’s  never  really  had  anyone  to  talk  about  it  with . . .  either  so  that’s  cool . . .   ❟    her  voice  drops  in  embarrassment  as  her  gaze  shifts  away  from  him .  why  did  she  find  the  need  to  say  that ?

[introverdt]

hir·aeth

/‘hir,āeth/

noun a homesickness for a home you can not return to or a home that never was.

[introverdt]

*BITES MY FUCKING TONGUE*

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