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Today I got to play the part of unfathomable Eldritch monstrosity as I encountered a simple creature (a toad) lost in a dimension unknown to it (my workplace changing room), a hellish unliveable where the very air boiled (there was a floor heater on) and then screeching unholy high-pitched noise sounded ("oh, who's this, ohh no, how did you get on here, poor buddy! Oh no, let's get you out of here") before an incomprehensibly vast appendage surrounded an invisible forcefield descended upon it (my hand wrapped in a plastic bag) and somehow deposited the poor lost soul back in its home dimension (the forest just outside).

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it's

bitch

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I promise I'll get to all of my asks and prompts and continuations I want to do. All I need to do first is fix all of my executive function issues and then figure out how to write ideas in little neat packages of two thousand words instead of writing a big multi-part epic for every one.

Any day now.

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Boys night on the 15th of March, in the senate! so excited so hang out with the boys, heard theres cake, hope someone brought a knife.

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To The Substitute Art Teacher - Jordan Bolton

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Even better when the response is “nothing, Master” or “whatever you want, master” in a gentle, hypnotized tone :3

"tell me, what's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" is always a good thing to say. sharing thoughts and feelings is inherently embarrassing. the mortifying ordeal of being known. sharing them with your captor? terrifying

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Beholding. The Ceaseless Watcher. It Knows You. The Eye.

Sources:

👀 👀 👀 / 👀 👀 👀 / 👀 👀 👀

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It is likely you will feel the worst of your trauma only after you’re safely away from your abusers. A lot of you need to hear this and be prepared. Even if you didn’t have a strong reaction to trauma while it was going on, even if you felt like you were fine, and even if you can manage your symptoms now, once you’re safe (as in, abusers physically can’t get to you), the absolute worst of trauma will hit you because it will be finally, for the first time in your life, safe to feel it. This can mean exhaustion like you’ve never felt before, because it’s the first time you’re allowed to rest, and you don’t have to expect a sneak attack like you normally would. It can mean more panic attacks, more breakdowns, flashbacks, nightmares, feelings of terror, re-living past, feeling frozen in trauma, paralyzing, shaking, crying, having your entire body hurt and ache, your chest feeling like it’s tearing in pieces. You might experience bursts of rage and feel so irritated and restless you’ll want to jump out of your body. Your fear of the abuser will increase thousandfold and you will feel like you’d rather die than spend one additional second in their presence after what they did to you. It will become completely insane to you that you were able to live in their presence ever before.

This post-trauma effect isn’t irrational or exaggerating, if you feel this it’s because this is how horrible the trauma really was, but your were not able to feel it in the moment for several reasons; one of them is that it was unsafe to feel those things in front of abusers, they have already taught you that you will be punished for displaying trauma symptoms in front of them. To be additionally hurt in the middle of such pain would be unsurvivable. The other is that it would have killed you to feel all that as a kid. Keeping all that repressed to feel later is your body’s strategy of survival, you can only feel it now because you’re still alive in order to do it.

What you’re going thru is extreme and something nobody on the earth should be put thru. No matter what you do, do not blame yourself for your symptoms, because it’s impossible for you to cause this to yourself. Know that whoever caused this to you did it on purpose, and is absolutely evil for it. You did not deserve this. Go easy on yourself and allow yourself more comfort, more rest, more ease than ever, you do not need any additional stress, grief or self hatred in this time of your life. It is awful, and extreme, but it will get better. It wouldn’t be happening if your body didn’t estimate that you can survive it. It will come in waves, so don’t despair if you get a little better and then worse, it’s designed to allow your body a little rest before the next wave hits it, again in order to be survivable. Trust your body to know what to do, because it already pulled you thru so much trauma alive. And do not trust anyone who doesn’t think you should be safe from people who have done this to you.

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stupid leftists and their belief in *checks notes* the intrinsic value of human life

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All of them except for Bella’s father because he relates to Jon Arbuckle on a spiritual level

And that’s not a good thing

reblog this and tell me which of your ocs would hate jon arbuckle the most, and why

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Listen I know she is unhinged, responsible for multiple atrocities, and a danger to herself and others. But have you ever considered that she is tiny and sad and I love her?