is-antimasculinity-real

[is-antimasculinity-real]

this might be a bit of a divisive topic but we gotta acknowledge when it comes to DIY, E and T are not regulated the same. T !!! in my country and experience !!! is very illegal to own let alone obtain privately. while E simply does not give you a criminal charge.

I'm tired of the "just diy!! just diy it's easy!! stop crying about hrt its so easy!!" when any criminal record would kill my already slim chances at life if not me directly. not to mention i *don't* have the money either. i dont have the means to convert currency, i barely have enough for groceries every 2 weeks. can we stop acting like every trans person has the same chances here?

i am SO lucky i found competent people now, but my goodness. both ways are tedious and dehumanizing

This is transandrophobia.

[is-antimasculinity-real]

Antigonism

ANTIGONE: I'll do my duty to my brother - and yours as well, if you're not prepared to. I won't be caught betraying him.

What is antigonism?

Antigonism is a transfeminist mode of thought specifically for transfems that embrace solidarity with other trans people, as well as those who are intersex and the queer community in general, under the belief that it's vital to recognize we're all equally oppressed and capable of doing lateral harm to one another

Beliefs of antigonistic transfems include but are not limited to:

accepting that transandrophobia exists

being mindful of exorsexism

not policing the terms that intersex people use for themselves

awareness that other AMAB people can present as feminine without being some kinna insult to us

recognizing that racial hegemony and the cishetpatriarchy are radically different systems of oppression and any comparison between the two, while possible, must be made with exceptional care

rejecting the "reclamation" of radical feminism

finding it appalling to demand that other trans people define themselves as privileged for not experiencing the same things as us - especially when they do in fact experience much of what is commonly, inexplicably cited as unique to transfems.

Isn't that just trans unity?

Trans unity is also great! But I feel like transfems who explicitly reject trans radical feminism could do with a word that is more forceful and specific. Some would prefer that this just be considered the default, and the vocal minority of people who think transfems are oppressed by other trans people should simply be treated as weirdos out of step with the rest of us, but I think there's value in making a strong statement with a term like this.

I've seen a lot of people who legitimately feel like shit because the vocal minority has been so loudly terrible that it's affecting how comfortable they are with random transfems whose opinions they don't know. I understand the temptation to just say they need to touch grass or whatever, but even aside from the fact that things like anti-transmasculinity within the community isn't purely limited to discourse on a dying social media website, I feel like that's blaming them for their reaction to being treated cruelly. I think antigonism could help drill in that there are tons of transfems who back them up, and that they don't need to search for keywords to know that person is safe.

Because, like, that happens to me, too. So many times I've seen a post I really liked and thought was insightful, only to have my distrustful nature lead me to doing such a search before reblogging and being gravely disappointed with the results. That fucking sucks, yall.

Why "antigonism"?

In the legends of Ancient Greece, Oedipus had two sons. One of them, Polynices, would eventually go on to wage war upon his brother, Eteocles, the king of Thebes. There were many telling of the story, some in which Polynices had a very good reason for doing so and some where he didn't.

Polynices and Eteocles both killed each other in the war, but Creon, who took power after, unilaterally declared that Polynices was a traitor. Antigone, the daughter of Oedipus, however, simply does not give a fuck what Polynices did or did not do. When Creon orders that any who try to bury Polynices will be put to death, she proudly does so anyway.

The most famous teller of Oedipus's family history, Sophocles, wrote a play about the war, but it's lost to time and so we know nothing definite about what version of events is canon to Sophocles' play starring the titular Antigone. Considering that the whole point of Creon's character is his dogmatic clinging to law over sense, his assessment of Polynices as being in the wrong for going against authority doesn't clear things up.

I emphasize this because I don't want to seem like I'm framing other trans people - transmascs especially - as requiring forgiveness for some vague past sin. Quite the opposite, just as they treat us as their sisters in spite of that minority of transfems who are awful to them, we must recognize that they're often the first to shut down transmisogynists amongst themselves. Ultimately the point of Antigone's actions in defying the law to honor her brother is that things like that are entirely irrelevant. The fact that the person accusing Polynices of being evil is a jackass, and we know there were versions of the story where Eteocles had it coming, is even more reason to look past his "crime."

ANTIGONE: I owed it to him. CREON: I had forbidden it. ANTIGONE: I owed it to him. CREON: Polynices was a rebel and a traitor, and you know it. ANTIGONE: He was my brother.

Does that mean we should not call out other trans people who are transmisogynistic or otherwise treat trans women badly? Of course not. But we have no more right to abandon or spit on them than they do us, which so many of them refuse to do in spite of the hostility they've often faced. To be an antigonist is to believe that we can do no less for those who do so much for us, and the creation of the term is intended not to spur more to do that so much as to give a name to those who've already been doing that.

Finally, I understand that the plot of Antigone revolving around Polynice's burial might feel grim. Critically, however, Antigone ultimately dies as well.

ISMENE: I must yield to those in authority. I think it is dangerous business to be always meddling. ANTIGONE: You have made your choice, you can be what you want to be. But I will bury him, and if I must die, I say that this crime is holy. I shall lie down with him in death, and I shall be as dear to him as he to me.

We are oppressed by the same forces. We are allies in the same fight. We are friends, lovers, and family. An antigonist is a transfem who believes that all trans people will live together and die together. We are committed to sharing the same fate with our siblings, one way or another. Antigonists see us all as bound together, headed for the same destination, and we would not for a second ever want it to be otherwise no matter where that road leads.

One more thing!

Even if this terminology doesn't catch on, I hope this effort means something to anyone who sees this. <3 Your sisters do love you, I promise.

[is-antimasculinity-real]

i dont know if this really is transandrophobia or not but as of now i am 16 (almost 17) and ive been wanting testosterone since i realized i wasnt cis. i spoke about it back when i had just turned 15, and the doctor i spoke to and my own mother wanted to wait a while because "what if i changed my mind?" its now illegal for me to receive the gender affirming care that would severely improve my mental health. because they thought i would "grow out of it"

This is transandrophobia.

[is-antimasculinity-real]

My mother saying my husband "looked like a girl again" and should "maybe try harder" because he grew his hair out. He's been on testosterone for 2 years and is scheduled for top surgery consult this december. God forbid a man have long hair I guess.

This is transandrophobia.

[is-antimasculinity-real]

I cannot stand trans men who try to appear as one of the “good ones” to appease others. “I actually pass unlike those other trans men who don’t even try” “My gender identity is simple to understand unlike those other trans men who have complex identities” “My gender is the exact same as cis men’s unlike those trans men who don’t relate to cis masculinity” “I don’t believe in transandrophobia unlike those other loser trans guys” SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STAND WITH YOUR BROTHERS INSTEAD OF THROWING US UNDER THE BUS FOR APPROVAL

[is-antimasculinity-real]

"Source: I made it the fuck up"

[is-antimasculinity-real]

“Masc lesbian shortage” is forever a red flag to me bc 9 times out of 10 when you ask them what they mean they’re like “they keep transitioning 😭 to MEN😭”. Stop fucking complaining about trans people existing and go give a transmasc 100$ rn

[is-antimasculinity-real]

Some of you haven’t fully unpacked the Gender Traitor view of trans men and transmascs and it shows.

You may not be calling us gender traitors outright but then you act as if we’re uniquely more likely to be misogynistic (including transmisogynistic or lesbophobic) than cis men. You imply that by transitioning we’ve escaped misogyny, as if that were the point in the first place. You’re quick to prescribe things like male entitlement to us with zero attempt to understand what might lead us to the decisions we make. You pull us aside to lecture us about how we have to watch ourselves to make sure we’re not misogynistic and how we as men have to use our male privilege to protect women (hey, why do you think the women need the men to protect them like that? It’s a bit patriarchal imo), all while never giving cis men the same spiel.

And then we’re stuck dancing around your assumption that we hate women because we’re trans men! We can’t just say we’re not women without going off about how womanhood is great even if it’s not for us, even though it’s perfectly reasonable to imagine we might have a lot of negative feelings about having been forced to live as girls and women when we aren’t women, even though the type of person who expects this out of, say, people who were raised Christian but aren’t as adults is generally someone most of us can agree is an unreasonable douche looking to convert the person back. And when anything about us makes women uncomfortable, regardless of whether it’s reasonable, we’re the ones who are supposed to accommodate you at our own expense. Trans men get forced into a separate waiting room at the gynecologist’s office because cis women “feel unsafe” about there being a man in the room. We ask to have our voices heard in the conversation surrounding abortion access and reproductive rights and we’re scolded for “making a women’s rights issue about men”. We find historical figures who show every single sign of fitting the description of trans men and cis women crawl out of the woodwork to yell at us for “erasing women from history.”

And with all this in mind, all I can think is that you just see us transitioning as a betrayal towards women. We turned our backs on the Sisterhood or whatever and now we’re the enemy. But as a trans man myself, all I’ve wanted was to just exist in peace as a man. I don’t see any gender as being some opposing force. It’s like hair color to me, just something different about everyone. It’s not my fault I was assigned the wrong gender at birth. It’s not my fault I was born with primary and secondary sex characteristics that give me gender dysphoria. It’s especially not my fault that for thousands of years women and those forcibly assigned as women were regarded as property and treated as such. And yet, somehow, it seems that I’m expected to apologize several times daily for all of this purely because I’m a trans man.

It’s so fucking infuriating. Just let me live, damnit.

[is-antimasculinity-real]

when people say that because im trans i cant have a large chest???? (several people have said this to me???????? like they fully dont believe that a trans guy could have big tits????)

This is transandrophobia.

[is-antimasculinity-real]

"transandrophobia isnt real" they say, while making blogs dedicated to doxxing trans minors of color because they are trans men who arent ashamed of it.

"transandrophobia isnt real" they say, while trying their absolute fucking hardest to make trans men, transmascs, and other transandronized people afraid for their safety and privacy.

they want us to stop talking, to sit down and shut up, to be afraid, to never stand up for ourselves.

and you know if someone made a blog called "truthsoftransmisogynys" and just used it to doxx trans women of color who are minors, nobody would fucking let that slide, but if you check any of the other queer tags on tumblr, nobody is talking about how fucked up this is. because transandronized people are acceptable targets right now, thats simply the long and short of it.

[is-antimasculinity-real]

I think so much of the transfem vs transmasc discourse can be boiled down to "hey let's not weaponize our very real experiences of victimhood or oppression as a means to invalidate, dismiss, or disparage the victimhood and oppression that others experience".

Like, why are we always pitting two bad bitches against each other.

[is-antimasculinity-real]

When I was thirteen and tried to come out to my grandma, she grabbed me by my still long hair, dragged me into her and grandpa's bedroom and tried to hold me down and force me to read the Bible, then started preaching about how I was ruining my feminine beauty and that I would destroy the family.

This is transandrophobia.

[is-antimasculinity-real]

ppl be like "i love mpreg, i love mpreg, omg cute omegas, i'm gonna get that man pregnant" until the man actually gets pregnant and suddenly it's "weird" and "cringe" and "just a joke"

fake fan, if u were actually an mpreg enjoyer u would advocate for making the gynecological field more inclusive so that your local men can get prenatal care

[is-antimasculinity-real]

the problem. is not that breast augs and bbls and other plastic surgeries exist. the problem. is the beauty industry. we remember this, right? that plastic surgery in and of itself is not an inherently bad thing and people wanting them does not inherently make them vain? right? we're not going right back to the aughts where someone getting a nose job is a punch line in and of itself?? we ARE remembering this, right website full of queer people talking about how much they want gender affirming procedures, most of which categorically fall under cosmetic and plastic surgery??? we are not judging people for wanting to feel at home in their bodies but rather the system that tells them their bodies will never be enough????? right?????????

[is-antimasculinity-real]

Sorry we really went from free the nipple, take back the night, slut walks, and ending gender/sex segregation in sports being fucking milquetoast feminism 101 concepts to fucking girl dinner and "I just worry about fairness if we let trans girls play against cis ones" and "it was right of that woman to call the cops on a black man for existing near here in public during the day time because men are all violent monsters" and "radical feminism isn't transphobic we just need to kill all men including trans ones those oppressive traitors" and I will legit never be able to be normal about it. What the FUCK happened. I'd say I wonder what the feminists of my youth would say about this but I'm one and lemme tell ya I want to throw up. Go fucking read bell hooks or do something else useful please because all of this learned helplessness, gender essentialism, and transphobia dressed up as feminism is actively holding us back.

[is-antimasculinity-real]

one of the most insidious things about these shitty trans discourses is that mask off terfs will go to trans men and mascs and go

"see, the AMABS in your community are hurting u, they are silencing u, they are OPPRESSING u because u are FEMALE. we support u, we believe that u experience unique SEX BASED OPPRESSION. radfems are not your enemy, we're your allies"

and like, no, no, no, NO

that is horrible and disgusting to all trans ppl involved. apart from the fact that it misgenders everyone involved, it's a diseased mentality

if you're a young trans man or masc don't fucking fall for their cheap tricks just bc you're burnt out after months of being told that your oppression and pain don't matter. they are not being nice, they are trying to recruit u. radfems only ever have 2 desires for trans mascs and men, detransition or death

trans women have as much systemic power and privilege over trans men, as trans men have over trans women, which is absolutely none

we wouldn't even be in this situation if cis radfems wouldn't have spread their poison in queer spaces

they are trying to make us fight each other just so we can forget to fight them. and the worst thing? they're fucking succeeding

don't let them convince u that our own trans sisters are our enemy, they are not and will never be. if we don't have each other's backs in times like this no one will

[is-antimasculinity-real]

I don't think people realize that when I was told I couldn't use the word transmisogyny for my specific experiences as a trans man (like getting left out of reproductive health conversations) I turned to transmisandry and later transandrophobia to describe the same experiences.

Y'all decided I couldn't use this word. Now y'all are upset I still want something succinct to sum up what I'm talking about.