ishuetime

[ishuetime]

I thought I found a full cig box for a second...only for it to be empty.

Goddammit,,,

[ishuetime]

TW: Themes of grooming, suicidal phrase, insulting phrases

[ishuetime]

Poems,,,,I would write something but we don't really have an idea....

[ishuetime]

There are maggots eating at me

[ishuetime]

I hate how I'm suddenly so happy and motivated to do something, because then the next I feel the most down I've ever been and I just want to disappear off the face of the world. Dizzying.

[ishuetime]

There is not single life in this empty slot for me—

The machine has overflown, with coins that have redeemed— that,

I know that punching rags can be bad for the best,

I cannot stop listening.

Maybe I will move to one another that will be there, waiting patiently for...

You cannot look into this empty soul, I am not on for sale,

If you look into another isle there might be another there,

You cannot look back I cannot forget of what you brought me into,

What the unknown might be for.

The section of the cursed apple might be tempting for to see,

See that when you have take a bite, a glisten of sin will be—

At night, a fresh pick of lemon is waiting for me...

And you enjoy the sweet taste.

Somewhere at night I will have hear sound of a train approaching closely,

Then maybe he will have thrown me off onto the train tracks of death,

I will have see your hand by reach out forward as to extending,

Then I have understand your intent was for me to reach above my limits.

Find that the apple has turned out to start have rotting from the—

Your lips have withhold all the foul lies that whispered into,

It seep into the core the seeds don't start, they become to wear out,

The apple of illusion that you, created out of your own pleasure,

You will not ever talk again, we'll be seeing our way out.

[ishuetime]

Eugene held the soft smile on their face,

Charlie had plastered the annoyed one instead,

Filled with pure intent of their own case,

Filled with no context of what's ahead.

One could tap as light as a feather,

Other will poke as sharp as a scissor,

A word like a light feeling of the weather,

A word like a heavy weight of a sinner.

Charlie had fallen before in pain of a cause,

Forever hating and all whatnot,

Despite being seen as an evil mouse,

Eugene gave a hand to take,

And brought back up were they,

Charlie remembered how it was to wake.

Further time passes by without them,

And no one will ever have a clue again.

Although Eugene has lost their ways in vain,

With Charlie they could stand up and walk ahead.

Even with all trials and errors Eugene lived with,

And with all the scars they had made with,

A sharp item at must,

It wasn't filled with rust,

Charlie had instead of dragging them back,

Only sat next to them and listen to the last.

[ishuetime]

I remember when the internet tore down my views on innocence, I remember when he talked about the lust and sex, it was all weird and gave me an ick.

Someone cares enough to know what kind of things I watch, no one cared enough to stop me from continuing, or get me any form of help.

Everyone here raised me, I grew up in the hands of the internet. It is waiting for me like a family at dinner who actually remembers.

I can't let go of the phone. It cares about me too much.

Sexual images makes me throw up, but I find myself enjoying the thought of flings and explicitly. I throw up.

I hate when the children get hurt no one noticed enough, the cries for help that are silent but audible to dog's ears.

I hate when predators prey on others and another, I feel extremes anger and pain for the lost of innocence that may have clung onto them. Something they should've kept while continue their lives.

The lives they deserve.

I hate when someone excuse a toxic behavior for mental health, when instead they should get help and improve rather than lash out without a care.

Or conceal it, for all we care. Do not hurt other people, and focus on patching up yourself first.

Think of the children, how much their shattered bodies have to endure through damages beyond repair. Think about the ugly feeling they will have to think for hours.

And think about the amounts of tears and snot that will fall from their face. The restlessness in their body forever eating them alive.

Children's mental health is a feeble thing, but only if you dismiss it. Then it will be not it shall.

[ishuetime]

God is a cruel deity. He is a teenager who had recently hit puberty, we are just the toys inside his bedroom that are soon to be discarded and thrown away when he grows up.

[ishuetime]

I think I really deserve to die. Maybe or so.

[ishuetime]

I lost my blade help what if someone finds it,,,

[ishuetime]

I can't do this anymore DNI LISTS OF THE SHIPS I FUCKING HATE AMD REASONS WHY;

Boss x Eugene (Minor x adult and EVEN if u ship boss with adult Eugene that's grooming. Boss watched Eugene grow up so if he dated them he was basically waiting for them to be legal because that means he saw romance with them as a minor too)

Charlie x ANYONE (first of all, they're 17. A minor and FOREVER A MINOR. shipping them with anyone is like shipping Hayden with anyone. They're both minors. AND EVEN IF YOU SHIP THEM WITH TEENAGER EUEGENE THAT IS STILL BAD BECAUSE TEENAGER EUGENE ALMOST GOT KILLED BY CHARLIE??? ITS TOXIC??? 'oh but I can ship them with adult Eugene they're mature ' KYS THATS AN EXCUSE MOST GRROMERS AND PEDOS USE. YOU SAY THAT AND GO 'oh Hayden is a child you can't ship him with anyone' SO APPLY THAT TO CHARLIE ASWELL THEN.)

Of course,,,Hayden x Anyone (this is very self-explanatory. Hayden is a kid, and basically a toddler. No excuses. No 'hes mature ' shit because THATS A LITERAL CHILD. YOU CAN'T SEXUALIZE NOR ROMANTICIZE HIM.)

Also do not use the 'its all fiction ' shit on me because FICTION CAN AFFECT REALITY. What about ai? What about all the characters we relate and cry with? What about the people to turn themselves into a character? What about cyber bullying? WHAT ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO DOXX OTHERS? 'I know the difference between reality and fiction so technically ' SHUT UP. IT CAN GET WORSE WITHOUT EVEN REALIZING IT, AND IT CAN INFLUENCE ACTUALLY YOUNG PEOPLE WHO WNATS TO COPE OR ARE SIMPLY CURIOUS.

Do not interact with me. Do not fucking interact with me if you enable any of this underage fiction shit. I don't care whatever your excuse is, I don't care any of your explaining. I will block you if you try and I will not hesitate no matter who you are.

If it's a coping methods and it 'helps you' please stop. It's not healthy. It's never healthy. It can affect you in ways that horrible.

Okay that's it

[ishuetime]

Unfinished poem I will try to get done soon.

Take a wild guess who it is about.

[ishuetime]

The feeling of peeling skin sounds immensely painful, but I want to experience the excruciating pain.

Maybe it will sting, maybe it will burn. Or make me tear up first thing.

[ishuetime]

Late night walk (me and the world)

A Eugene centric fic (Comfort).

A gush of wind rushed through the empty streets of the city with the glow of streetlights to only accompany, a gloomy star-studded sky wished upon by another somewhere far out the planet of earth.

The dark time of this cycle talked a different perspective within everyone, screamed with another tone with purpose or none at all to begin with. It is a cold bite at the skin that is either uncaring or charming to convince another of finding respite in the night, or maybe to inflict a warning that hides somewhere within the shadows of the alleys.

Buildings were both dimmed or completely lightness without a trace of what was left behind. It is a way of saying you do not exist or simple to tell everyone you do not want to be disturbed at the moment.

Regardless of the eerie atmosphere, a singular teenager with the mental capacity of a low-esteemed kid had grabbed their bag and ventured out into the night without hesitation. Their fingers itched to run against the surface of walls, their feet wanting of tapping against the floor.

Eugene's hands decided better against judgment, opting to squeeze on the straps of their backpack instead. It was a soft, warm fabric pricking at their cold, pale skin that didn't seem to regulate heat very well.

Their eyes moved around aimlessly of the dusty sidewalk, despite being completely different of that behavior by staring at the ground whilst doing anything when standing, hands always clasped together and trembling but not to represent a prayer.

Maybe it is to represent a prayer. A last desperate attempt to whatever divine being out there, to grant them something that was crucial, yet missing of them.

'God, please give me courage...'

Of course, that never worked. Unless it did and some cocky jerk of a God had ignored them over other stupid matters like natural disaster. Mother nature seems to not control over the chaotic eruptions that happens unexpectedly anymore.

A breeze whispered sharply onto Eugene's skin, making them shivered from the sudden unsolicited kiss against their legs. Despite the fact they knew it was going to be chilly, they decided to wear their usual outfit. Especially with the shorts that had an iconic impact onto them.

What was iconic left if you die from frostbite? Well, everything.

You'd be known as a 'Sad person who was lonely', they'd be known as 'A stupid idiot deciding to wear shorts outside knowing it was cold'.

The comparison was almost humourous in a way, yet a bit grotesque to a normal human being. Sentence being overly absurd and unrealistic, because atleast any news reporter try to sound like they care a bit or so.

A rock tumbles along as Eugene's foot kicked it the lined they were walking in, almost looking depressed itself. They didn't blame it, being alone on a pavement sidewalk for hours must get pretty lonely despite all the people around it passing by.

'I sound really emo tonight...'

The fact they were laughing and chatting with their friends while at school, and now had dramatically phased into having a lot in their mind, which they, for some reason, also had nothing at the same time.

It was random. They think about rent sometimes, maybe even calculating when's their next grocery run might estimate in (that to be honest, would probably be a while). Their friends are all on their all the time, they had mixed feelings whether it was a sense of security or overthinking every word they might say.

Maybe even the River might appear in their head. 'She may be a mischievous woman who often got in trouble, atleast she knew how to fend for herself.'

Close enough, Charlie was almost similar to her. 'But the contrast in their personalities was with their usual tone...'

Hayden is a sweet kid. Sometimes very eager with certain topics, but sweet. 'He seems to enjoy informing people about things and talking about highschool musicals.'

Joan was Hayden's listening victim '—Despite her grumpy demeanor,' since she'd often be the least busiest person.

Boss was...

'Wait a second...'

'Boss...Underworld Office??'

Oh dear, they had work and they completely forgot. And being at this very time, hours after the sun had settled down for the day?

"Oh no..." 'I'm doomed!!!'

Eugene quickly started rushing back to their place with a silent cry, feeling a sense of rush. If it wasn't for the fact author narrated this, they would've thrown themselves off frame.

"Is— is that an insult???—" Yes now shut up loser, you're late. "Rude!—"

[This is comepletely random and a testing of my writing so...also I got lazy.]

[ishuetime]

No matter where I exist or simply stay, I seem to be everywhere at once even if I do not know where I am. Or maybe I do, as I am everywhere yet nowhere, within the barrier and whatnot.

The simple look of an image of me could be that I have marked a territory, whether I am inside technology or outside on a billboard. It's unlikely if someone thinks of me.

But I could be a simple memory for a person. The one you'd remember you bump into, or the one you held the door open for. Percase when you simply took a glance at me before turning away.

I might be an voice weighing in your thoughts, reminding you of the common things everyone usually speaks of. Were we talking about homework? Or an upcoming school activity? Or maybe about random things to fill in the silence?

Despite all this, maybe I was in your dream once; or twice, if that makes you think of me frequently. Did I do something stupid? Have I tried hurting you? Or maybe dragging you into crazy situations?

Your presence is like the sun's ability of candescent upon the field of crops, a loud snap from your fingers in an empty subway, percase even a speaking person booming on the speakers.

But I, myself, is a lost star in the glimmering night outshined by others, a single drop of rain falling into a lake among more drizzle of water around me, or percase a frog egg swimming and falling behind.

I wish I was somebody's someone.

[ishuetime]

This is just a moment of respite, so completely up for interpretation.