itsabrendanthing

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PSA

It has been a minute since I have posted anything. I have been writing a bit but haven’t posted them as of yet. I have a couple other posts that I am working on. I decided to leap frog this one in front of them while it is fresh in my head. A month or so ago, my wife and I went to a wedding. We got to see some family we don’t see often. We got into a conversation with one family member. It…

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Cherish the Memories You Have

A couple of my last posts have been a bit heavy so I thought maybe writing about some memories might help lighten things up. Will that work? I don’t know. It might be a hard sell for me. I just reread one of my last posts, “I Hate You, I Hate Me, I Hate Everything”, and I find that I am still in that place. Maybe I am always in that place to some extent. Whatever. That isn’t what this post is…

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Tears On The Pillow

I was going to try to finish a post I started a very long time ago. One that was about memories. There have been some I have wanted to get down in writing for quite some time now but keep putting off. I just haven’t wanted to write. It isn’t because things are all better. It isn’t because I am all better. I think it is more just trying to keep on with life. Not move on, but keeping on if that…

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Regrets

Just before Christmas, my wife and I went to see the Trans Siberian Orchestra. It has been something she has been wanting to see for years. I didn’t know what to expect as I had never been to any of their concerts before. Overall, I enjoyed it more than expected. Though about halfway through, I was having a rough time. Like I said, my wife has been wanting to go see it for awhile. Someone else…

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I Hate You, I Hate Me, I Hate Everything

I hate you. All of you. Anyone one of you who has a normal life. All of you that still have your kids and are watching them go through the stages of their lives. I hate myself for not protecting my child to allow him to grow into adulthood. I hate life in general that would allow a good kid to not make it out of his childhood to become the man he should have been. Is that harsh? Maybe. Get back…

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Memories Revisited

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Happy Easter

Preface The original post starts below but I felt I needed to add context or explain somethings. Most of the time a post will be written in a couple days and then there might be another day or 2 to add any images and to have my wife (my editor) go over it. She has always been the first one to read these before I publish them. The memory ones may take longer since I may keep adding another memory…

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Have Yourself a Salty Little Christmas

This is going to a little different. At least from the aspect of how this post came to be. It is a little late since it related to Christmas but I was not sure that this would see the light of day. Let me give some context and background for this post. For Christmas this year, we got hit with a major blizzard. Yeah us. It hit on Friday, the day before Christmas Eve. My daughter works at a…

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Involuntary Yoga

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Resentment

It has been a while. There is a lot to unpack in this one. When I first starting writing here, I couldn’t find enough time to get everything out of my head. If I wasn’t writing something I was thinking about it. Over the last couple of years, I have found myself finding ways not to write anything. Granted with a toddler in the house, a lot of time is taken up but there is still time to get it in.…

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Spin the Wheel

It has been too long since I wrote anything. Has it? To long that is. I don’t know. If I don’t write, does that mean it is getting better? Or does it mean I am just hiding from my reality. I don’t have an answer. I just amble on. I work. I eat. I sleep. I focus on my granddaughter. Whatever gets me through life, right? Then there are those moments. You can fool yourself into thinking you are ok…

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Introspection

A couple of posts back, in The Rage, I dove into the anger and rage that I sometimes feel. This one is going to be along the same lines as that post. I doubt I will finish this now since I am having a hard time sitting still. I am sitting in my basement “office” since I worked from home today. It is the Friday before Labor Day so it’s a long weekend for me and I am done with work early. I have my…

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Happy 21st Birthday, Buddy

It was a long, excruciatingly emotional day for me. I should have know it was going to be but it still hit me like a ton of bricks. Friday should have clued me in as to what was to come for me. I worked from home and was in one of those moods. Anyone that has lost someone they  were close to knows that mood. The mood where you are hurting and you throw on something that fits it. I threw on a…

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The Rage

This is a bit of a quick turn around. I just made a post and the next day another one starts up. It wasn’t planned. I just got hit out of the blue. I am back in my office instead of working from home. I don’t know why really. I go in. Shut my door and do what I would do when working from home. The company wants us back in the office though. I don’t interact too much with anyone. Hell everyone…

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Almost Made It

This is just a short one to hopefully excise something from out of my mind. Father’s day recently went by once again. Now I will set aside that I think this “holiday” along with Mother’s Day is nonsense. They are just ways to get people to go out and spend money. If you look at the history, that is in fact how Mother’s Day became a thing. Yes it had it’s roots innocently enough in one woman, Anna…

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I'm Ok. Or Not

I’m Ok. Or Not

It has been a minute since I posted something. As usual, I keep prodding myself to do it and find excuses not to. I do have another post that I started a couple weeks ago but this one is taking precedence at the moment. The other one is a memory one so I will be working on it for a bit anyway as I add more memories that come to mind. This one though, I felt needed to get out. The noise in my head…

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The Deluge of Memories

The Deluge of Memories

The summer is difficult. It is book-ended by reminders. The front end is the day we lost our son. The back end is his birthday. This year was especially rough for me. Why? I don’t know. It just was. I dreaded the weeks and days leading to his birthday. With all that is going on right now in the world, it just made things harder. After Brendan’s birthday past, things lightened up a little. A…