itsaceokay

[itsaceokay]

"they're married your honour" "they are so gay for each other" "only friends haha" "girlfriend behaviour" And each time these things are about something aroace who me who wants nothing to do with romance or sex has done with friends and even strangers. Sleeping in the same room? Candlelight dinner? Slow dancing? Sitting practically on top of each other? Lovingly staring at them? Being naked together in a bathhouse? Been there, done that

I understand everyone is just having fun in fandom and it's not that deep but sometimes I do wonder if some people are aware they're playing, or if they do believe that each of those things are only for romantic/sexual partners, which makes me kind of sad to think about. That's such an arbitrary limit to put on yourself - it's a little like men denying themselves flowers or nice smelling soap or fun colours because that's 'for women'. Are you not doing these things because you don't want to do them (totally fine!), or do you deny yourself them because they are associated with the 'wrong category'?

[itsaceokay]

[itsaceokay]

YOU 🫵 can amass a friend group of childless people in their 30s as long as you pull from these 3 demographics

Queer freaks from the internet

Highly-educated weird women

Gamer men who became adjusted and compassionate in their 20s but still are not comfortable recognizing this in themselves so they’re putting off dating in order to play the horse girl gacha game

[itsaceokay]

everyone's all about queer subtext until it's aromantic or asexual

[itsaceokay]

i dont want kids. "well you might change your mind!" no i wont. "well you could help infertile parents and do surrogacy" pregnancy is a part of why i dont want kids. i dont want that. "then do adoption" still dont want kids. "but what about your partner" im aromantic. "but if you had a partner" im aroace. "you might still change your mind" no i wont. "you might meet that one person who'll change your mind. trust me" I! AM! AROMANTIC! AND! ASEXUAL!

"how can you have dated people if you're ace" shut up shut up shut up shut up

[itsaceokay]

[itsaceokay]

A gentle reminder 🌈🤍

[itsaceokay]

[itsaceokay]

[itsaceokay]

I wish we talked more about how alienating it is as you get older to have no dating experience. Everyone around you talks about exes and awkward dates and all the people that have asked them out. Everyone has funny and awkward stories of romance. And you kind of just sit there with nothing to contribute.

Eventually it feels like you're the only one who didn't at least try dating several people in your teens and early 20s. It feels like this formative experience that you're just....missing.

[itsaceokay]

part of the reason I think it’s so sad that we collectively write so few stories about unrequited love is bc I feel like there’s very little public acknowledgment of how much it sucks to be the one somebody is in unrequited love with??? and not in a way of like, oh they’re crossing boundaries or putting expectations on me or whatever. becoming close friends with someone and then finding out they’re in love with you and you don’t love them back the same way is heartbreaking, bc a) someone you love is in pain and there is literally nothing you can do about it, and b) it usually means that whether you like it or not there’s going to be distance in your friendship that wasn’t there before as they try to get over you. idk man I just feel like we’ve all discussed the tragedy of loving someone who doesn’t love you back quite a lot and very rarely discuss the tragedy of finding out the way that you love someone just isn’t enough.

[itsaceokay]

the infuriating thing is that there is genuinely so much good queer literature out there, contemporary and not, but there is also a sizeable chunk of readers who think that a book only "counts" as good queer literature if it's a) unproblematic, b) contains romance as its central focus, and c) has the characters state their orientation and/or gender identity directly to the audience using socially acceptable 21st-century terms (as opposed to resorting to cowardly tactics such as Subtext and Themes)

[itsaceokay]

i know one of the main arguments against asexuality is dying alone but tbh i'd rather die alone than die unhappy

[itsaceokay]

when i first heard about the male loneliness epidemic i was like oh yeah close camaraderie and bonding between men is often discouraged in favor of competition or, if not discouraged, at least filtered through a lens of individualism that precludes deep connections. and then i learned what people meant by it (men arent getting laid) to which i say skill issue

[itsaceokay]

the bi/pan alliance and the aro/ace alliance in my city did the funniest possible thing for pride today

[itsaceokay]

Being ace in fandoms is so awkward sometimes because yeah the allos like the irredeemably evil villain who has murdered countless innocent people and experiments on children because he's conventionally attractive, what's my excuse? I like this guy for his personality. His personality is a burning truck of chemicals without a driver rolling at 220 km/h down the hill towards the daycare.

[itsaceokay]

Bruh did I just get clocked wtf