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THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU | WINWIN

Cast: Synthezoid!Winwin x Gender-Neutral Reader ft. Taeil, Synthezoid!Kun, Synthezoid!Ten & Hendery
Genre: Angst | Dramedy | Non-Idol AU | Sci-Fi |
Word Count: 12.5K
Content Warning: Allusions to depression, character death, characters experiencing grief, scene depicting a funeral, some language profanity, and suggestive themes.
Summary: Looking for a purpose and a job that fulfills him, Winwin works with Kun, a fellow synthezoid and a recently certified trauma cleaner. Coming to terms with who he is and who he wishes to be, Winwin meets you in the midst of a family tragedy.
Authorâs Note: I honestly didnât know what I was going to write about when I joined this collaboration but A.I. was a concept I couldnât pass on. This is a mixture of concepts and elements from WandaVision and Korean Dramasâmainly Move to Heavenâso expect some made-up words alongside all the pretentious, angsty philosophizing and cuss words.
Collab: AI Project #14320 by @pastelsicheng
Taglist: @pastelsicheng | @lebrookestore | @127-mile | @neonun-au | @naptaemed
From: [email protected]
Subject: VWAY.AI Models
Mr. E,
The development and manufacturing of the VWay.AI Models has been approved, signed, and soon to enter production. Manufacturing will begin in two weeksâ time and the process will take a span of less than six months thanks to the newest technologies weâve implemented. This includes mnemonic implants that will greatly improve muscle memory and allow for these models to adapt, adjust, and fulfill their duties as organically and as quickly as possible.
As you know, the VWay.AI are artificially intelligent robots meant to have a vocational role within society. Theyâre built to last in order to properly aid our clients in physically and mentally strenuous tasks. The point is not to replace human workers but instead to ease their burden. We aim to have these models not only in schools, hospitals, clinics, and nursing homes, but anywhere they might be needed.
Attached to this email, youâll find various documents regarding the manufacturing process, costs, and the information of different heads of departments that will be working on this project.
Sincerely,
Miss Park
â
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE: VWay.AI Models
Miss Park,
Thank you for keeping me up to date with the comings and goings of A.I. PROJECT: #14320.
And though Iâm glad to hear weâre moving forward in production with the VWay.AI models, I must correct you in regards to what these models really are.
Artificial intelligence? Yes, no doubt.
Robots? Iâm afraid itâs a bit more complicated than that.
You mentioned mnemonic implants but I should add that theyâre not the only advancements weâve obtained, patented, and/or improved. Adding to our technological breakthroughs are these models: the VWay.AI. And theyâre not exactly androids. Theyâre more advanced. Theyâre synthezoids (i.e. synthetic humanoid robots) and theyâre the closest thing weâve come to replicating humans in terms of behavior and appearance.
I emphasize this specific term and what they are because itâs important for you, for me, and for the company to understand that synthezoids are the future. They will change how we talk of, work with, and implement artificial intelligence in our society moving forward.
Sincerely,
Mr. E
PS; Thank you for the information youâve sent. Itâs been an interesting, if arduous read.
â
IT WAS SNOWING, and he wasnât cold.
He never felt cold. With a simple thought, he could deactivate any stimulus he didnât wish to experience. Neurological impulses like pain, something he had no interest in experiencing, were shut down in the blink of an eye. Cold was cold. It didnât bother him. It would never bother him unless he allowed it to.
This, he knew, set him apart from the people around him. The very same people that walked past him without sparing him a glance, a wave, or a greeting. He found it slightly interesting and paradoxical that humans felt more automated than himself. For a race that had evolved over millennia, they kept finding new ways to regress.
As he absorbed this thought, he tilted his head upward and felt the gentle touch of snow fall upon his face. He blinked and saw a snowflake on the tip of his nose. Even though there was no cold, it gently grazed his skin. He closed his eyes, activated the stimuli in his brainâs insula, and immediately felt a chilly sensation upon his face as the snowflake began to melt.
For a brief second, he shivered. Then, with a thought, he shut down the cold.
Cold was cold. It didnât bother him. Not unless he allowed it to.
â
BEHOLD VWAY.AI-MDL: DS-281097.
Itâs, as they say, fresh off the box. As a newer model, recently manufactured, with little work and life experience, these are all the things DS-281097 lacks: a name, an identity, a purpose, and a job.
Itâs the future. Manâs vision come to life. A dream fulfilled. Yet DS-281097 doesnât care about that. It simply wants to fulfill its duties. It seeks purpose. It seeks to live.
Or, at the very least, It seeks to exist.
â
AT A CERTAIN point, It became him.
âItâ was dehumanizing. He was aware he wasnât human therefore he couldnât be dehumanized, but âItâ lacked life. It implied he was something inanimate and lacked the ability to think for himself, to have his own choices, failures and/or successes.
âItâ simply implied a lack of depth.
But he was more than just âItâ. He now was a blank canvas thrust into a chaotically colorful world. He was the future. He was alive. And he was in dire need of a job.
Thankfully, he learned, those were a dime a dozen.
â
HE REMEMBERED OBSERVING strangers celebrating the New Year in Itaewon.
They were rowdy, inebriated, consumed by emotion. He didnât quite understand it and hadnât asked why they acted and felt that way. He simply observed, keeping himself to himself, saving the moment for future reference.
He had nothing to celebrate or be grateful for thus the day had no concrete or logical meaning to him. New Yearâs Eve was just a day like any other. 24 hours. 1,440 minutes. 86,400 seconds. Nothing more, nothing less.
He found it interesting, however, that South Korea celebrated the departure of the previous year and the arrival of a new one in February instead of December. Sporadically, when least expected, this bit of information would find its way to the forefront of his mind and he would tilt his head as if to wonder where it had come from.
Despite certain observations and reservations, he had to admit that human culture was fascinating. It was different everywhere else. At times, it even differed in the same country. That struck him as odd and vastly fascinating. It was yet another example of humanity being, as he heard Kay-Eleven say, something else. And Kay-Eleven had been right. For all of their flaws and their oddities, humanity never failed to fluster, frustrate, and fascinate him.
Nearly a year later, he still felt this way.
As he walked through the snow, his gait that of someone who knew how to manage the seconds and minutes of his day, he found himself fighting back a desire to smile. He couldnât understand why. Perhaps, he thought, heâd finally found a reason to smile. But remembering something that he observed from a distance and had no personal involvement in didnât qualify as a proper reason to smile.
And yet, lo and behold, he suppressed a desireâno, an impulseâto display joy.
He could see Kay-Eleven now, stepping out of the companyâs van. He had parked in front of an apartment complex and was beginning to unload the van. He hadnât arrived late. Heâd arrive precisely fifteen minutes before he was supposed to begin his shift. Kay-Eleven was the type to never stay still.
âI should ask him,â he heard himself say out loud. He blinked, slightly surprised, and made sure to remember to ask him instead of talking to himself.
MENTAL NOTE: Ask Kay-Eleven about this strange impulse. Why do I wantâno, feel compelledâto smile? When and why have I started talking to myself? Itâs not normal. Or, perhaps, it is. I might be adapting to my environment and implementing certain human behaviors. Data for contemplation.
Kay-Eleven was handsome with a kind face, warm eyes, and a smile that immediately endeared you to him. Despite the toque he was wearing, he could tell Kay-Eleven had dyed his hair yet again. It was now silvery-white as opposed to the bright blue he had two days ago.
âWell, well, well,â said Kay-Eleven, watching him approach with a smile so wide that it crinkled his eyes. âYouâre looking warm and cozy.â
He looked down at the clothes he was wearing then compared it with what Kay-Eleven was wearing. Though they wore the same insulated navy coverall the company had provided them, Kay-Elevenâs had drawings, handwritten messages, or embroidered patches here and there, all of them made by himself. It wasnât uncommon to see this type of artistic rebellion in a uniform but it wasnât exactly encouraged.
âI may look warm and cozy, but I donât feelââ
Kay-Eleven chuckled. âItâs an expression, bud,â he chucked, waving a dismissive hand. âHelp me with unloading the van.â
âOf course.â
He methodically unloaded the van and followed Kay-Eleven into the complexâs lobby. Whenever Kay-Evelen bowed and said good morning to someone, heâd mimic his seniorâs actions. Yet no matter how hard he tried he couldnât infuse his voice or mannerisms with Kay-Elevenâs seamless charisma.
â
BEHOLD VWAY.AI-MDL: QK-1196
We know him as Kay-Eleven.
But of all the names he has been given and all the names heâs adopted, he prefers a specific one: Kun. For you see, Kay-ElevenâKunâis no longer an It. Hasnât been for quite some timeâlittle over four years, to be exactâand is, as they say, an older model.
Experienced, capable, and fully integrated into human society. As far as LSM is concerned, QK-1196 is a triumphant achievement in modern technology. Heâs a perfect example of a synthezoid fulfilling and performing their prime directive: easing the burden as efficiently as possible. He has sufficient life and work experience and, as a result, these are all the things QK-1196 has: a name, an identity, a purpose, and a job.
Heâs the future. Manâs vision come to life. A dream fulfilled. Yet QK-1196 doesnât care about that. Truth be told, he never has. He simply wants to experience life to the fullest. He wants the good and the badâsuccess and failure; love and hate; anger and peace; companionship and lonelinessâbecause while he was programmed to feel emotions, Kun wishes to genuinely experience them.
But above all, above fulfilling his duties and having a purpose, Kun simply seeks one thing.
Kun seeks to live.
â
HE WASNâT STILL used to the name: Winwin.
He had always referred to himself by his serial number but that often made others look at him strangely, wearily, as if they didnât know what to make of him. It always took them a few seconds to realize that the person they were talking to wasnât human. He was, as they said, âone of them machines.â
He could always pinpoint the exact microsecond where they tried to hide or display their fear, displeasure, curiosity, or interest. To his chagrin, if he could even feel that, fear and displeasure were the most common reactions.
And though Winwin couldnât relate to their emotions, he understood why theyâd feel like that. Humans rarely embraced change willingly. It was a gradual transition. And he was, as far as they were concerned, the very embodiment of change in the most drastic way possible. He was the future and they werenât ready for him.
So, as strange as it was, having a name was an advantage. Thing was, Winwin often didnât know how to feelâno, computeâwith having been given one. Kun had christened him with that epithet and it had stuck. Not because it was appropriate or made sense but because he, Winwin, didnât know he could change it or choose another for his own.
âWhy that?â heâd asked when he first heard it.
âWhy Winwin as opposed to, say, Mike?â Kun replied with a question of his own as he loaded the van. âWell, shit, why not?â
âNames have meaning, donât they? Theyâre meaningful.â
Kun guffawed. âThatâs what having meaning means, yes.â
He blinked blankly then whispered, âWas I being redundant?â
âA little bit.â
âI apoloââ
âNo need to apologize. You havenât done anything wrong, bud.â Kun waved him off, closed the vanâs doors, then leaned against them. Even though he didnât have to, he groaned as though he were exhausted. He presumed then concluded Kun had done so just because he could. Synthezoids never tired. âYou know what a win-win is?â
He thought about it, searched his data-bank, then nodded when he found the answer. Kun pouted in an amused manner, as though impressed, and pointed at him with his chin for him to continue. His lips were tugged on either side, slowly but surely forming a smile.
âWhat is it, then?â he asked.
âIt is something that is advantageous or beneficial to all parties.â
Kun snapped his fingers, his smile wider. âYou win, I win, and everyoneâs happy,â he conceded. âThatâs why thatâs your name.â
âI still donât get it.â
âDo you need to?â
âI believe I should.â
Kun frowned. âYou believe?â
Winwin paused, then said, âYes.â
Kun remained silent for a few things before he spoke again. âGood. Believing is good. Once you believe, you feel.â He beamed then frowned again. âOr is it the other way around?â
âWinwin,â he repeated, committing the name to memory. âItâs better than identifying myself by my serial number.â
âWay better, trust me.â Kun nodded. He approached Winwin but didnât invade his personal space, aware that his fellow synthezoid wasnât keen on being touched, and mimicked knighting him. âI doth christen thee Winwin.â
Christened. As though he were human. As though he were part of some religious doctrine. As though he were truly alive. But the name had stuck. And once something was named, once something ceased being something, it became someone.
Though Winwin had resolved to simply adapt to thisâto having a name and slowly earning an identityâand accept the fact that he was capable of growth and being more than just a mere machine in the eyes of others, it was still strange to be called by something other than a serial number.
But that had been months ago, and he had been actively trying to not frown or correct othersâor himselfâwhenever he heard his name.
To give an example:
âWinwin,â Kun called after him, his voice laced with something akin to affection. âYou okay, bud?â
He blinked and realized where they were. The elevator doors opened on the sixth floor to a narrow gray corridor in dire need of some repainting. Kun easily took half their equipmentâa trolley toolbox and a hefty-looking duffel bagâand stepped out, eyeing Winwin with slight concern.
âYou look lost in thought.â
âI wasââ Winwin paused, unsure on how to express himself. He pursed his lips then spoke his mind without fear of analyzing his words. âI was remembering.â
âWere you, now?â
Winwin gave a small, slow nod. âI reckon I was . . .â he trailed off.
âThatâs good,â said Kun, offering a half-smile, âand Iâm all for it, but weâre about to meet a client and we need to have our GFO.â
Winwin blinked. He was a black canvas. Kun deflated, the gesture almost comical to everyone but Winwin, then chuckled to himself. Even when he was paying attention, Winwin had a blank stare that gave away nothing but the impression that he was either dumb (i.e. mute) or dull (i.e stupid). He was neither of these things but people often reached their own conclusions and rarely ever took the time to reevaluate them.
âNever mind,â his senior replied, shaking his head as he chuckled. âOn second thought, your remembering-face and your game-face are pretty much the same.â
âMeaning?â
Kun shrugged one shoulder. âMeaning that you shouldnât worry. Now, off the lift. We gotta work for a living.â
Work for a living? Strange, Winwin thought, I donât work for a living.
He worked because that was his entire reason for being. His purposeâhis prime directiveâwas to ease the burden. Thus his work wasnât a means of maintaining himself financially but a means to maintain himself available and functional for whoever needed him.
MENTAL NOTE: Working for a living. Is that possible? Is that even a fulfilling endeavor?
âDo we truly work for a living?â Winwin asked, easily carrying another trolley toolbox of his own. He had shouldered a blue knapsack that was decorated with embroidered patches of flowers and cartoon cats. âDoes that apply to us?â
âGood question.â Kunâs voice bounced off the corridorâs walls as they stopped in front of the apartment they had been called to work in. He cleared his throat and cracked his neck. It was a sickly impressive metallic crack that Winwin always cringed at. âNo, it doesnât.â
âIt doesnât?â
âNo,â Kun whispered, his tone steely. He kept his eyes forward and focused on the apartment door. âAnd thatâs that.â He sighed when he felt Winwin staring and added, âFor now, anyways.â
âThat implies you will answer the question later. Or, at the very least, elaborate on your answer.â
âYes.â Kun gave a small nod, his jaw clenched. âGFO, bud.â
LEXICON: GFO. Abbreviation for âGame Face Onâ. Neutral or serious facial expression. Often used to display focus, intimidation, and/or composure under pressure.
Winwin lifted his chin and stood straighter. He could do this. When you were programmed to feel emotions and could turn them on and off on a dime, getting your GFO was easier done than said.
Kun, on the other hand, wore his emotions, regardless of them being programmed, on his sleeves. Winwin could tell when he was peeved, content, despondent, relaxed. It was very apparent and even more obvious because he wasnât hindered by his programming to conceal these emotions. He had made sure he wasnât Censored.
âThree, two, oneââ Kun reached out and gently knocked twice on the door. It wasnât long before it was opened and he offered a smile. Winwin noticed there was a rueful expression on his face. âGood morning.â
And thatâs when you came in.
â
BEHOLD YOU.
Human. Young. A bright future ahead of you. And nursing one hell of a hangover.
Itâs the result of a reluctant night of socializing with friends. You had arrived home tipsy, promptly fell asleep, and remained unconscious for well over four hours. The phone rang and you didnât pick it up. It rang againâonce, twice, thriceâuntil you couldnât ignore it anymore and answered, groggy and wincing, to learn that the man that essentially was your uncle, Mr. Wong, had passed away.
Tragedy had struck.
As usual, its timing is very fucking inconvenient.
Between the hangover and the overwhelming urge to scream and punch a wall, you donât know what to do. Right now, you want to sleep and never wake up. You wish for comfort, for someone to tell you this isnât happening. You wish to got to his apartment and find him making breakfast. You wish not to feel grief, to not be overwhelmed by it, but thereâs no way out of this.
Though you donât want to face this, whether on your own or accompanied, you must. You wish, above all things, to be strong. With all your heart, you wish you have the strength and the composure to endure this.
If not for yourself then for Mr. Wong.
â
âMORNING,â YOU REPLIED, wearily meeting their gazes. âSorry to call you this early in the morning, but, yâknow, it was an emergency.â
The man that had greeted youâaffable, silvery white hair underneath his beanieâgently shook his head and offered a respectful bow. âWe understand,â he replied, his voice soft. âWeâre here to ease the burden.â
Ease the burden, you thought and tried not to frown. It was an odd thing to say. Yet it was something you had read or heard before on TV, billboards, and ads on the internet and the radio. Though it was nothing new, it was nonetheless eerie to hear such words aloud, spoken by the very product LSM wanted to force down your eyes, ears, and throat.
âIâm Kun,â he said, then pointed at his companion. âThis is Winwin.â
You nodded and introduced yourself properly. Kun spoke formally and seemed charismatic. Winwin said nothing and seemed dumb. Both were handsome. You didnât know what to make of that. They were machinesâridiculously human-looking machinesâso it was off-putting to have them staring back at you with very human expressions in their faces.
You had no strong opinion on robots, even if you werenât exactly comfortable being around them. They existed as technological advances. That was the extent of your thoughts on them. And, sure, they made life somewhat easier, but there were timesâespecially nowâwhen their mere presence made you feel redundant.
âPleasure toââ you paused, looking for the proper phrase, ââmake your acquaintance.â
A genuinely friendly smile spread across Kunâs face. It wasnât weird; in fact, the gesture felt natural.
âLikewise,â he replied, bowing respectfully.
Winwin was staring. When you met his gaze, he blinked then slowly looked away. He seemed stiff, as though he was still getting used to working with people. Tall, pale, and with an aloof aura that matched well with his handsome features, you thought he was quite the looker. Youâd be swooning and actively making conversation if it werenât for the fact that you were hungover and that twenty minutes ago there had been a corpse in the apartment.
âSo . . .â You began, clearing your throat. âWhat exactly do you do?â
Though Kunâs smile faltered, it didnât leave his face. âWeâre trauma cleaners,â he explained. âWhich means we clean after the deceased and collect personal items that are passed on to their next of kin.â.
âAnd you throw away the rest?â
âThat which isnât of value is thrown out, yes.â
You considered this. What was valuable to you was utter shit to someone else. How could these machines determine what was and wasnât of value? It wasnât like they cared for material things.
âYouâre Mr. Wongâs next of kin, right?â
âNot really. I mean, like, he was a widower and his daughter lives abroad.â You scratched your forehead, sighing. âBesides his nephew, Iâm the closest person to him in the city.â
Kun gave a small nod. âI see.â
âBy happenstance or some other bullshit like that, heâs returning from Macau today.â
âUntil he returns to the city, you are Mr. Wongâs next of kin,â said Winwin, staring in your general direction but not exactly at you.
You looked at him. âThe lady I talked with on the phone said you were quick workersââ
âWe are efficient,â Winwin interjected in a soft, monotone voice. âQuick might imply a lack of tact or professionalism.â
Oh-kay, you thought, eyes widening in uneasiness and offense. You glanced at Kun, who was glancing at Winwin and doing his best not to grimace. Before you could clear your throat again, you felt a wave of nausea hit you like a freight train, and immediately leaned on the door frame.
âWhoa, there,â you heard Kun exclaim, saw him reach out through your periphery. âYou okay?â
âIâmââ you burped into your hand, ââfine.â
âYou donât look fine,â Winwin pointed out, deadpan.
âAiya!â Kun rolled his eyes, rubbed his left temple. âWinwin, your lack of tact is showing!â
âItâs okay.â You gently shook your head, afraid of another bout of nausea. âHeâs right. Iâm not fine.â
Kun nodded, though you could tell he felt embarrassed. Could robots even feel embarrassment? Winwin, on the other, seemed to feel nothing at all. One felt and displayed too much emotion, the other was apparently devoid of it.
You invited them in, moving aside so that they could pass with their equipment. Once inside, they bowed, thanked you, and asked where Mr. Wongâs room was. You pointed them to his bedroom and stayed in the small corridor that opened to the rest of the apartment. From here you could see the living room, peek into the bathroom to your right, and get a glimpse of the kitchenette to your right. Mr. Wongâs bedroom was past the living room, the only other door in this claustrophobic excuse for a home.
âCould we have a word before we start?â Kunâs voice echoed in the empty apartment.
âSure!â you answered, unable to walk to Mr. Wongâs bedroom.
âUhââ Kun began, unsure.
There was some indistinct mumbling between the two. A second later, Winwin was popping in on the living. He gave the bedroom the once-over then stopped to look at you. Feigning a smile, you made eye contact.
âYou wanted to say something?â
âYeah, itâs just that . . .â he trailed off, thinking. âWe present ourselves to the deceased before we start working. Since youâre here, Kun was wondering if youâd like to join us.â
You blinked, doing your best not to cuss him out or cry. He noticed, reading your body language, and looked almost apologetic. Almost.
âHowever, I understand that itâs not an easy thing to ask or do. Kun was merely extending an invitation.â
âWhy?â you snapped. âWhy exactly would I want to go there?â
Winwin stared, meeting your gaze. âTo grieve, I suppose.â
âDo you grieve?â
âNo,â he replied, bluntly. âI donât have anything to grieve for.â
You closed your eyes, rubbing the bridge of your nose. âHow nice that must be.â
âI see youâre uncomfortable.â Winwinâs voice was both distant and close. âIâll be joining Kun to give you privacy.â
You gave him a thumbs-up without looking, though the impulse to flip him off had crossed your mind. When you opened your eyes, he was gone. You could hear them talking, their voices bouncing off the apartmentâs walls. Though you didnât want to, you found yourself walking to the living room. Glancing at Mr. Wongâs room, you saw them bowing their heads.
You wondered what the hell they were doing.
â
KUN HAD TAKEN off his toque and lowered his head, as if in prayer. Winwin had always found this odd but had grown accustomed to this part of the job. He mimicked Kunâs posture and waited for him to introduce them both.
âCare to do it this time?â Kun whispered, his voice serene.
Winwin opened his eyes, stared at him, and saw that he had remained in the same prayer-like pose. Slowly, as though considering it then giving in, Winwin closed his eyes again.
âMr. Wong Henry Lin, on July 31st you passed away. Iâm DS-28ââ he felt Kun nudging him on the side with his elbow, cleared his throat even though he didnât need to, and corrected himself. âI am Winwinââ
âAnd Iâm Kun.â
âAnd weâre trauma cleaners from Soul Migration. Now, we will begin to help you make your final move.â
âWeâll do our best to treat you well.â Kun bowed respectfully. âWith the reverence and care that you deserve.â
Winwin bowed, though he knew it hadnât been with the same kind of emotion, the same kind of intent, as Kun. He felt lethargic, copying everything his senior did, as though he were in his shadow and unable to do anything else.
Without a second to waste, they got to work.
â
YOU WAITED IN the lobby, pacing, thinking of how your day started and how your day was going.
Letâs review, you mused.
You were hungover. Someone you loved had suddenly passed away. Hendery wasnât still here. Two androids were upstairs, unsupervised and determining what had value and tossing aside what didnât. Andâughâyou had work in a couple of hours. Mr. Nam would understand, of course, if you called and told him what had happened; youâd obviously omit the hangover, but everything else you would share. He was emphatic and he was on good terms with Mr. Wongâcorrection: Uncle Wongâso you werenât that anxious about work so much as not wanting to deal with absolutely anything.
You sighed and buried your face in your hands, praying an agnostic prayer into the universe, hoping and wishing to be given a sign on how to deal with everything that was brewing in your head. But there was no response. Not even a whisper. You were about to break down crying when the elevatorâs door opened and LSMâs boy toys stepped out.
âYouâre done?â you asked, glancing at your wristwatch. âItâs only been forty minutes.â
âThe apartment was small,â Kun replied.
He dragged along two hefty-looking trash bags in one hand and pulled his trolley-toolbox on the other. On top of the trolley toolbox was a yellow box with flower drawings. Behind him, Winwin carried what he had brought into the apartmentâanother trolley toolbox and a backpackâand two trash bags. All of that looked heavy yet they made it look effortless.
âPlus,â Kun continued, offering a small smile, âhe was a very neat man, which allowed us to work more efficiently.â
You raised your eyebrows, impressed. Not because they had done their job quicker than you thought but because Uncle Wong wasnât exactly the modicum of neatness. It seemed all your nagging sunk in . . . as late as it did.
You eyed the yellow box eerily because you saw his name on its lid. There, written in hangul, was a single sentence. It read: The Late Wong Henry Lin, Rest In Peace.
That threw you for a loop. Even after seeing Uncle Wongâs body in his bed, even after they had collected him and driven him away, his death hadnât truly felt real. Because when you found him in his bed, he looked like he was sleeping, peaceful, almost happy.
Before you knew it, you were crying. One second you were standing, the other you felt your legs turn to jelly. Next thing you knew you had collapsed, overwhelmed by fear and sadness and anger. Seeing his name written there, understanding what it meant, broke you because it exposed and solidified the truth you had been denying since you woke up this morning.
That Uncle Wong was gone. That never again could you call upon him for help or to buy him dinner. Never again would you be able to hear his voice or his laugh. Never again would you be able to look upon his honey brown eyes and feel the warmth, the love, of his gaze.
âShit,â you heard Kun whisper, but it wasnât unkind. In fact, it sounded like an empathetic outburst. âHelp me withâyah!âWinwin, what are you doing?â
âExcuse me,â said Winwin, his voice devoid of emotion. âDo you consent to me helping you?â
In between tears and uneven breathing, you blinked to see Winwin crouching in front of you. He was staring but he wasnât judging you or taking pity; he seemed to be absorbing the moment, waiting for you to answer. He blinked and you noticed the shape of his eyesâwhat you had heard being described as the Red Phoenix Typeâand lost yourself for a second in them. You admired the brown of his eyes, how the light reflected off them and made them shine.
âWh-what?â you mumbled, surprised that you could form a sentence.
âDo you consent to me helping you?â He repeated, unblinking and unmoving. âOff the ground, I mean. I ask because I wouldnât want to touch you without your say so. People being helped by strangers can be a âred-flagâ or a cause for anxiety for some.â
âGive me a sec to wallow in self-pity.â
Winwin glanced at Kun over his shoulder, confused. Kun smiled ruefully and whispered something (âItâs an expression!â) and simply stood there. He looked slightly worried, but he accompanied you, hands resting on his thighs as he crouched. As the tears began to subside, you felt in control and less overwhelmed by emotion. When you looked up, Kun was holding the yellow box; Winwin was staring right at you, scrutinizing your body language and facial expressions.
Winwin motioned an idle hand in Kunâs general direction. âHe told me itâs an expression.â
âYeah.â You nodded back, fighting then embracing a bout of laughter brought by exhaustion and God knew what else. âItâs an expression.â
âCan I help you now?â He asked, his voice infused with empathy; whether it was genuine or forced, you couldnât tell.
You sniffed, wiping tears off your eyes and cheeks with the back of your cardigan. âSure.â
âThese belonged to Mr. Wong,â said Winwin, pointing to the yellow box. âNow they belong to you.â
âItâs quite heavy,â said Kun, looking down at the box and admiring Winwinâs handwriting. âSo Iâll be more than happy to carry it.â
âErââ You looked at the box then shrugged one shoulder, ââsure, yeah, thank you.â
Kun gently placed the yellow box back on the trolley toolbox. âI know itâs not the best time to ask, but do you know when and where the funeral would take place?â
You shook your head, eyes watery. âNo fucking clue.â
âWould you like to have coffee or consume another type of hot, comforting beverage?â Winwin asked, extending his hand to help you up. âPerhaps eat something?â
âIâsure.â You took his hand, and held back a gasp when you felt how soft his skin was and how strong yet gentle he was. For a second, you stared at him then looked away, no doubt blushing. You could chalk it up to being hungover; they would never know. âMy treat. After all, youâve been veryâerârespectful and diligent.â
Kun smiled. Winwin blinked.
You had a feeling he knew you didnât believe your own words .
â
YOU PICKED THE place: a nice little cafe a few blocks away.
Plastered on the window was a sign that read âAUTOMATONS WELCOMEDâ. You read it, grimaced, then noticed Kun looking at it with contempt. Winwin, on the other, barely glanced at it; even if he did read it, he seemed to not care.
The three of you sat on a table by a window, overlooking the busy intersection outside as cars whizzed by and pedestrians made their way to wherever they needed to be. The snow was still falling so the sidewalk and street were covered in white. It would have been a nice sight, if not for your shitty mood.
âMorning,â said a waitress, smiling a bit too artificially and carrying an iPad. She was young and pretty with a peppy aura. âWhat are you folks having?â
âCoffee,â said Kun, tapping the edge of the table to open the digital menu the restaurant was proud of integrating on their holotables. âIâll have kimchi eggs and toast.â
The waitress nodded, tapped the iPad, then swiftly turned to Winwin and you. âAnd you? What would you like?â
âCoffee, black, no sugar,â you whispered, not bothering to look at the menu, hands on your face. âKimchi buchimgae. Scrambled eggs. Bulgogi.â
The waitress raised her eyebrows, impressed. âSomeoneâs hungry,â she sniggered mechanically as she moved from you to Winwinw. âAnd you?â
Winwin blinked. âI donât need nourishment.â
âAre you sureââ
âVery certain, yes.â He stared at the waitress with a blank look, lips pursed. âIâm a machine.â
âOh.â The waitressâ smile wavered. âWe have options for automatons.â
Winwin raised an eyebrow, tilted his head as if considering the option. The waitress approached the table, tapped it, and a menu labeled AUTOMATON GRUB popped up. While she blankly smiled at him, he blankly stared at the menu.
âNo, Iâm fine,â he deadpanned.
The waitress blinked, unable to compute the lack of an order.
âHeâll have a Boba Oil Tea,â Kun interjected, smiling confidently. âPlease and thank you.â
âAlright. Would you like for your orders to be read back?â
You shook your head. Winwin stared into the middle distance. Kun nodded. The waitress, serial number HYJ-52600, read back the order, nodded, smiled when Kun thanked her, then left you three alone.
âUgh,â you grumbled, rubbing your eyes. âThis will be a long day.â
âItâs still morning, yâknow,â Kun said, lips sheepishly puckered. âThe dayâs still starting soââ
You raised a hand, shook your head. âI know youâre trying to comfort me, but it really isnât helping.â
Winwin blinked, scrutinizing your lethargic posture. âAnd what would help?â he inquired in a methodical tone.
âSilence, coffee, and food.â You mumbled, averting Winwinâs gaze. A mirthless chuckle escaped your lips as you added, âMaybe a nap that never ends? Yeah. Endless slumber would be a great idea after breakfast.â
Kun drummed his fingers on the table, nodding. âThat sounds like a plan.â
âThat sounds like sarcasm.â You scoffed, narrowing your eyes at him.
âWell, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck . . .â Kun shrugged one shoulder, tilting his head to the side. He cleared his throat and immediately looked apologetic. âThat wasnâtâerâsomeone giving you sass isnât what you wanna hear right now.â
âHow do you know what I would like to hear?â
âI donât.â Kun shook his head, gently. âI canât even begin to fathom what youâre going through.â
You glared at him, unsure if he was being sincere or condescending. His voice was laced with empathy, as though he was putting himself in your shoes. Kunâs eyes had a glint of sorrow in them and he wasnât looking at you with pity but with kindness.
How was it possible that a machine was capable of feeling and displaying this amount of emotion? It shouldnât be possible yet Kun and Winwin were living proof that it was. They felt emotionsâor, at the very least, they simulated themâand it somehow felt organic? Granted, you had met your fair of automatons, drones, and monotone A.I.s , but none had the humanity these two had.
âWe donât presume to know what youâre feeling,â said Winwin, his eyes slowly meeting yours. Whether or not he was being tactful or merely socially lacking, you couldnât tell, but you caught on the somber tone, the softness in his voice. âBut if it would grant you peace of mind or, perhaps, give you comfort to talk aboutââ
âTalk about what?â You narrowed your eyes at him. âWhat makes you think Iâd wanna talk aboutââ
Winwin stared blankly, then slowly blinked. âDeath?â
âI feel overwhelmed,â you admitted, avoiding eye contact.
âThatâs understandableââ
âIs it? How the fuck would you know if itâs understandable or not?â The vitriol in your voice made you sick. Every fiber in your being was shaking and the tears clouded your eyesight. Emotion, on the other hand, clouded your judgment. âYou said you didnât have anything to grieve for? Not anyone, but anything!â
âI donât. Iâm aââ
You cackled, feeling the tears stream down your face. âYouâre a soulless machine! Thatâs what you are! So donât pretend to know what Iâm going through or what I feel or what will make me feel better. The only person that I could call family is gone. He can never be replaced. So, no, you donât know what it feels like. And, no, I donât wanna talk about it.â
Winwin nodded, whispering âokayâ as he straightened his posture. Kun stared at you, empathy glinting in his eyes, but said nothing. It seemed they knew better than to argue.
A solemn, hefty silence enveloped the table. It felt like an eternity before someone said anythingâKun was the one to break the spell, thanking HYJ-52600âbut no one spoke another word as the three of you ate. Beyond two or three sips, Winwin barely touched his Boba Oil Teal; whether he liked it or not, you really couldnât tell. Kun, on the other hand, was apparently ravenous.
You had once assumed these machines just plugged themselves to a wall and recharged their batteries, but Hendery had mentioned that some models were capable of consuming edible food; their systemsâwhatever it might be or however it might workâwould break the food down and transform it into a source of energy. It made sense, you supposed, because thatâs how food worked with the average human.
However, you still found it odd that machinesârather the technology and the companies behind itâhad evolved to the point that they were almost indiscernible from humans. It wasnât exactly creepy as it was downright nightmare fuel.
This didnât stop you from eating with them. Nor did it make you lose your appetite.
âWhen youâre hungry, you ainât exactly thinking straight,â Uncle Wongâs voice echoed in your head as you dug in. Heâd say it often because he was hungry half the damn time.
It made you smile and just as quickly made you want to cry.
â
AS YOU FINISHED eating, your phone rang. You didnât pick up so the call went to your voicemail. Thatâs when you noticed four missed calls and three unread texts from Hendery.
Your heart sank and you felt like immediately throwing up the meal you just had; the thought alone made you stand up, excuse yourself, and head straight for the bathroom.
âShit,â you muttered as you unlocked your phone and called him back. âDammit.â
You had been so focused on yourselfâon how you felt, how you wanted to feelâthat you completely forgot about Hendery. One of his texts read that he had made it to the city; the other two asked where he could meet you and if you were okay. You scoffed at his decency and big brother instincts. It should have been you asking him how he feltâor notâand inviting him for coffee instead of hanging out with automatons you barely knew.
With a sigh and eye roll, you hang up when he doesnât pick up, text him your location, and step out of the cubicle to wash your hands and face. You stared at your reflection, noticed the dark shadows beneath your eyes; they made you look disheveled, despondent, and like you had seen better days. Which, to be fair, was the truth so that brief sting of anger and disappointment you felt quickly dissipated when you accepted that you werenât okay.
You hadnât been earlier. You werenât now. And, perhaps, you wouldnât be tomorrow. Or the day after that. But eventually, you supposed, youâd be. Thatâs what Uncle Wong would say.
âIf not now, tomorrow. You wonât always feel this way. Just like you canât always be happy, you wonât always be upset.â
Staring at your reflection, you nodded and muttered, âItâs okay to not be okay.â
That was enough to shake you off your inertia.
â
âTHERE YOU ARE!â Hendery called after you, entering the diner.
He was smiling and waving. A hefty-looking backpack hung from his left shoulder. You smiled back, happy to see him despite the circumstances. Hendery walked up to you, arms open, and embraced you in the warmest hug youâve experienced in a long while. You hugged him back, tighter, hoping against all hope that this moment would last forever because you felt comfortedâas though time had stopped and things would go back to the way they used to be.
âHey,â he interjected, whispering in your ear, âwould you mind returning my body to me?â
You blinked, felt him laughing through the hug, and let him go with a nod.
âYou lookââ you paused, unsure on what to say or how to say it. ââtaller.â
âAiya.â Hendery shook his head, smiling. âWhy are you buttering me up for?â
âIâitâs justâI dunno.â
âAre you okay?â
âNot really.â
He blinked, looked at the floor, then sighed and met your gaze. âYeah. That makes two of us,â he retorted with a rueful half-smile. âIâm sorry I wasnât here for you.â
âI should be the one apologizingââ
âWhoa, whoa, whoa.â He shook his head. The smile was gone and instead it was replaced by an expression of empathy, his eyes solely focused on you. âDonât apologize. This was out of our control.â
âHe asked me if I had any plans last night. I told him I was going out with friends. I should have told him noââ
âHey.â He caressed your chin with his index finger then kissed your forehead. âItâs okay.â
âButââ
Hendery scoffed and hugged you again. You felt the tears stream down your face and made no attempt to hold back your grief. You cried, head on his shoulder, and he held you tighter. He whispered that it was okay, his hand rubbing your back, and sighed. If he was grieving, he was doing it in silence and in his own time.
âThis is nice and all, but arenât you going to introduce me to your friends?â
Friends? What friendsâoh, shit, right. You blinked and let go of him, turning to your table to see Kun and Winwin openly staring at you both. Winwin seemed curious while Kun looked like he wanted to introduce himself, though doing his best to conceal it. You rubbed your chin, unsure on how to tell Hendery that they werenât your friends and that they werenât human.
âThey areââ You paused, clearing your throat. âThis is Kun and Winwin. Theyâre trauma cleaners. They cleaned up Uncle Wongâs apartment.â
âOh?â Hendery blinked then walked up to the table. He extended a hand and greeted them with a firm handshake. As he shook Winwinâs hand, he said, âThank you for your service.â
Winwin gave their intertwined hands a cursory glance. âItâs what we do,â he mumbled.
Hendery clapped him in the shoulder and made a face, wincing as though heâd smacked a wall. He shook his hand behind his back and sat next to Winwin, forcing you to sit beside Kun.
âItâs never easy, huh?â Hendery said, making conversation. âEven if you donât know the person, I imagine it must be a taxing job.â
âIt is.â Winwin blinked at him then turned to Kun. âOr am I wrong?â
Kun nodded. âIt is taxing. Physically and emotionally.â
You made a face and titled your head at him. You were about to make a comment when you remembered that Hendery was with you. You glanced at him through your periphery and thought twice before outing your âcompanionsâ as machines.
Hendery wouldnât be completely thrilled with interacting with automatons. And he would be rather peeved if he knew said automatons had been touching and moving his uncleâs personal belongings. To Hendery, it wasnât a matter of liking or disliking him; it was a simple matter of trust. Years ago, when he was twelve, heâd almost drowned because of a âfaulty âbotâ. Ever since then he preferred to tread lightly around any and all machine that was capable of reaching a conclusion of and on its own.
âHow long have you been working?â
âHmm.â Kun raised an eyebrow, thinking. âSix months, give or take. I was just recently certified.â
Hendery pouted, nodding in approval. âThat sounds like your hard work paid off.â
âI like to think it has.â Kun smiled. âAs long as we ease the burden, Iâm happy.â
Something flashed in Henderyâs eyesâconfusion, suspicion, then realizationâand his curiosity turned to apprehension. Something clicked in his head and you saw the exact moment it happened. Kun, despite all of his past attentive displays, failed to notice it. Winwin, on the other hand, hadnât.
âEase the burden?â Hendery repeated, eyes narrowed.
âYeah, itâs our job asââ
Henderyâs face darkened. âRobots.â
âAutomatons,â Winwin corrected. âThough the precise term is synthezoids.â
Kun made a sound between a grunt and groan and rubbed the bridge of his nose. You looked between Hendery and Winwin, unsure on how to interject or what to do. You had the feeling youâd only make it worse, escalate the situation until someone else had to intervene.
Then again, if you didnât try to do something about it, you would never know unless you actually did something. So cleared your throat as loudly as possible to get their attention. Hendery and Winwin immediately turned to you while Kun glanced at you through his periphery.
âNowâs not the time to make a scene,â you muttered.
âYou let them touch Uncle Wongâs things?â Hendery muttered back. A thought crossed his mind. âThey threw away his stuff, didnât they?â
Winwin shrugged. âNot everything.â
âYouâre not helping, Winwin,â Kun mumbled through the side of his mouth. âThis is between them.â
Hendery shook his head in disbelief. âI can hear you.â
âSo can we.â Winwin blinked. âYouâre not the only one with ears.â
âI think itâs about time we wrap this up!â You knocked on the table and stood up. âIâm gonna pay the bill and weâll make ourselves scarce.â
Hendery opened his mouth to protest but you stared him down. He lifted both hands and leaned back. Kun shimmied his way out of the booth and stood beside you, reaching for his wallet.
âIâm gonna take care of our food and drinks. Thatâs, of course, if you donât mind?â
You stared at him, unsure. âThe least I can do is pay for both of you.â
âIâll pay with the company card. Theyâll just take it out of our pay. Donât worry.â He smiled then sheepishly gave Hendery a glance. âWeâve done, er, enough.â
âIâll take care of it.â You insisted as you took his wallet and tossed it at Winwin, who caught it and stashed it in his coverall. âItâll be my treat.â
âIââ he began to say but you walked away without another word. Kun watched you go, perplexed. âOkay.â
â
âBELONGINGS,â SAID KUN, handing Hendery the yellow box. He handed you a tablet and muttered, âSignature, please and thank you.â
You read the documentâbasically agreeing that they had done their job and had been respectful, diligent, and ethical, and that you were satisfied with their serviceâand signed it without a second thought. You agreed. They had been respectful, diligent, and ethical, even if you still felt weird being around them.
Hendery looked over your shoulder as you gave your signature. He immediately cleared his throat and took a step back when you narrowed your eyes at him. He knew better than to get in the way of you handling things.
âThat concludes our interaction.â Kun handed the table to Winwin. âIâm sorry for your loss.â
You nodded. âSo am I.â
âThatâs it?â Hendery piped up. âWe cool?â
Kun nodded and bowed respectfully. âYes, sir.â
You bowed back. âThank you,â you whispered, the words falling off your mouth without thought or reason.
âFor what?â
You blinked and your gaze fell on Winwin. He was staring back at you, curiosity gleaming in his eyes, head slightly tilted to the side. Hendery clicked his tongue at that and said something that sounded like he was saying goodbye. That, or he was cutting the conversation short. You couldnât tell because you felt yourself move, your eyes leaving Winwin, briefly stopping on Kun, then leaving them altogether as you spun in their opposite direction.
Without realizing, you walked away from them.
For what?
The words echoed and lingered in your head for the rest of the day.
â
âUNFORTUNATELY, THIS IS where I leave you. Which is why Iâm hoping that if youâre playing this back, itâs not in grief but in celebration,â said Uncle Wong, his voice slightly high-pitched due to the quality of the hologram. He sat there, three feet from you, shining in a blue-green hue, smiling that charming smile of his. âI thought Iâd record a little farewell. We so rarely ever get a chance for closure.â
Uncle Wong sighed, his holographic presence freezing for a second. He looked his age, though he carried himself with an air of dignity that made him come across as someone who wasnât afraid of or preoccupied with growing old. He crossed his legs and rubbed his left forearm. You felt the lump in your throat loose and give way to grief as you began to cry. The gesture, so subtle and simple, was characteristically hisâa gesture of relief, acceptance, and grief.
More than once youâd seen him do that whenever he had received bad news or what had first been bad news turned out to be something bittersweet. Such a sigh had many meanings and you knew them all.
Beside you, Hendery reached out and took your hand in his; he gently squeezed it.
âThis is one last hello,â he carried on, smiling ruefully. âOne last goodbye. Cry if you must, but remember to smile. Not because you must pretend to be okay, but because I was there with you. Because without a little sadness, there canât be a whole lot of happiness, yâknow? Part of the journey is the end. Unfortunately, for better or worse, Iâve reached the end of my journey and Iâve enjoyed every second of it. So, folks, itâs your turn to do the same. Even if it doesnât feel like it, everything is going to work out exactly the way itâs supposed to.â
Uncle Wong was looking right at you. Or so it seemed. It felt like he was talking to you and you alone, but you knew he was talking to everyone he knew and loved. He had always been kind. Such kindness had earned him the friendship, love, and respect of many, which explained why the funeral home was packed with familiar faces and other strangers you had only hoped to meet after hearing Uncle Wongâs anecdotes.
You closed your eyes and chuckled. Even in death, he was worrying about others. The thought struck you and made you fight tears. This man was selfless to the bitter(sweet) end.
âIâm fine. Iâm totally fine.â
You caught a glimpse of Hendery tearing up. You squeezed his hand and rested your head on his shoulder. It took a second for him to rest his own head against yours. Uncle Wong cleared his throat and stood up, walking up to what had been the camera recording the message. He stopped and smiled, winking as he leaned forward.
âChin up. Eyes forward.â
Before he turned off the holo-recorder, Uncle Wong teared up. His smile never wavered.
His last words were, âI love you.â
The rest of the funeral happened way faster than you expected. It seemed like you were on auto-mode, going through the motions: not really awake, though not quite asleep either. Hendery never left your side. That much you remembered. And for that you were grateful.
â
âONCE UPON A time, I couldnât come here without sneezing on the spot,â you told Taeil, smugly leaning on the counter. âBut, whoa, now? This place is immaculate.â
Taeil choked on his coffee and flipped you off as he clapped his chest. He put his mug on the counter and stood up, checking himself for potential coffee stains. He sat back down, reached for his mug then stopped, as if considering whether or not to take another sip with you nearby. Ultimately, he relented and crossed his arms with a heavy, exasperated sigh.
âI love it when the clientele gives me shit about store maintenance,â he muttered, glowering at you. âMakes me feel so good about myself.â
âAt least Iâm not talking about your books . . .â
He rolled his eyes at you, throwing his head back and letting it hang on the chairâs headrest. âThank goodness for small favors.â
âI havenât been here since forever.â You leaned forward and wrapped your knuckles on a hardcover book he was reading. âWhatâs your secret?â
Taeil scoffed and sat straight, reaching for the book as he smacked your hand away. He placed a bookmarkâhe was halfway through itâand idly scratched his stubble, as if in deep thought. You stared him down and he looked away. A second later, he was walking past you, mug in hand, muttering to himself how he should have never told you to come by whenever you felt like it. You forgot just how nimble he was because when you turned he had reached the other side of the store and was mingling with a customer.
âYou canât avoid me forever,â you teased him.
He scoffed again. âI sure as hell can try.â
âI feel like youâre trying to hurt me.â You squinted, pouting as if to further display your accusation.
Taeil cracked a half-smile. âMaybe Iâm trying to get you home âcause you spend too much time here.â
âI donât.â
âOh, then why does it feel like youâve been here forever?â
You smacked his shoulder. An expletive escaped his lips prompting him to massage the sore spot, bow, and apologize to a customer. As soon as the customer was out of sight, he whirled on you and flicked on you on the forehead. It had been unexpected thus you barely reacted to it beyond blinking at him in disbelief; heâd been gentle, which, based on personal experience, had done purely for shock value.
âGot any books in mind or are you going to follow me around all day like a needy puppy?â
âJust meeting with someone.â You smiled and leaned on him. âCâmon, you enjoy my company.â
âIâd rather have Hendery spacing out than being stuck with you.â
You gasped, feigning offense. âTake that back.â
Taeil chuckled, shaking his head. He leaned on you and rested his head on your shoulder, poking your love handles as a small giggle escaped out of you. He had picked that up from Uncle Wong. You thought no one would ever do that again yet here was Taeil surprising you, and reminding you that you could still find comfort in moments that reminded your uncle.
âIâm pulling your leg.â Taeil took your hand and squeezed it. He smiled, blinked, then returned to his usual aloof self. Despite the sudden change in demeanor, you saw a glint of empathy in his eyes. âHow are you?â
âIâmâerâsurviving.â You pursed your lips. After a moment of silence, you added, âBut okay, yâknow? One day at a time.â
He nodded, smiling ruefully. âAnd Hendery? I heard heâs moving back.â
âHeâs alright.â You gave a small nod. âAnd, yeah, as matter of fact weâre scouting for apartments. Iâm supposed to meet him here but heâs late . . . again.â
Taeil shrugged, as if to say it is what it is. He ran a hand through his auburn hair and squinted like someone being struck by an idea.âI know someone whoâs looking for roommates. Though, to be honest, I dunno if Hendery would move in with him.â
You tilted your head, curious. âAnd . . . why not?â
Taeil looked around, pointed to a spot behind right ear lobe with his thumb, and leaned in to whisper, âHeâs a âbot, yâknow?â
âOh.â
âAnd knowing Hendery, Iâm pretty sure he wouldnât agree to that.â
You nodded dejectedly. Part of you thought heâd say yes if it meant he wouldnât have to pay a lot on rent, but another part of you knew that wouldnât be enough for him to share a living space with something he wasnât entirely comfortable with. Youâd just have to keep looking until you struck gold.
âWhere does he live?â
Taeil idly pointed at the window behind you. You followed his index finger and noticed that the building opposite the bookstore had been renovated with a minimalist façade. It was painted in pastel colors and it came across as a welcoming place to live in. From where you stood, you could see the lobby and one of the tenants walking in.
âAbout four months ago, someone bought the place. Turned into an apartment complex in the blink of an eye.â
âAnd your roommate-seeking friend lives there?ââ
âYup.â Taeil nodded, looking just as impressed as you. âItâs an inclusive kind of place. Expensive-looking but affordable.â
You raised an eyebrow, intrigued. âReally?â
âI thought about moving in but Iâm not keen on sharing an apartment with Ten.â
âWith who?â
âIâve been summoned,â said a silky voice that came from behind you, almost leaning on your right shoulder.
Taeil blinked, his lips pursed into a thin line. He slowly turned to someone âSpeak of mischief and it shall arrive,â he muttered, doing his best not to roll his eyes. âTen meet a friend of mine.â
You turned, blinked, and gaped at the young man before you. You introduced yourself, the words coming out of your mouth, but nothing really was being processed. You were too drawn in to pay attention to yourself. He was handsome with a smooth and slightly tan complexion, black hair streaked with blond highlights, and dark eyes that had an alluring gleam to them. He was lean, casually dressed, and offering a friendly, if awkward smile.
âIâm VWAY.AI-MDL: LC-27296, but you can call me Ten,â he said, outstretching his right hand as he took a step forward to be near but not in your personal space. You reached out and slowly shook his hand. âAre you looking for an apartment?â
âIâerâmy friend and I are, yeah.â
âOh?â He tilted his head to the side, as if thinking. As he blinked at you, you noticed the artificial gleam around his iris; it gave away his true nature as an LSM product. He smiled, though this time it was a genuine smile. âThough itâs a spacious apartment, we would have to share rooms. I donât know if thatâs okay with you.â
You popped your lips, nodding. âIâd have to talk it out with my friend.â
âAs long as itâs before the end of the week, I agree with that decision.â
âHey, bud,â Taeil muttered, widening his eyes at him, âremember to be tactful.â
Ten blinked once, twice, then nodded. The gesture was stiff, as though he was used to hearing the suggestion but not paying much attention to it.
âI say this, of course, because there is already someone who has shown interest in moving in.â
âOh?â you and Taeil chorus, surprised at his casual tone.
âYes.â Ten shrugged. âWith that said, allow me to practice being tactful.â
You gaped at him then shook your head, mumbling, âWhat?â
âI apologize. Iâm trying to not be so blunt. Itâs a pain, of course, because people love to, as they say, beat around the bush and I donât.â
âTenâerâTenââ
âThus why Iâd prefer if youââ
âTen, please, shut upââ
ââgive me an answer before the end of the week.â
Taeil sighed, burying his face in his hands.
âAre you okay?â Ten asked him.
âNever been better.â Taeil rubbed his face, groaned at the ceiling, then snapped his fingers. âSay, buddy, why donât you help Ămi in the back? Sheâs supposed to be opening some boxes before she puts some new books on the display window.â
Ten nodded, took a step forward, then whirled on both of you. He pointed an accusatory finger, squinting as if something clicked in his head. âYouâre trying to stop me from further embarrassing you,â he said in a soft, but exasperated tone.
Taeil dramatically laid a hand on his chest. âIâd never!â he exclaimed, slowly raising his hand to point towards the back of the store. âBack. Now.â
As Ten waved a hand and shook his head, Taeil mumbled something (âPlease and thank you!â) and turned to you.
âWhere the hellâs Hendery?â
âI donâtââ
As if on cue, the door swung open. A bell rang to announce the arrival of new guests. You both turned, walked back to the counter, and saw Hendery entering. He was scowlingâand he wasnât alone. Behind him, looking like a lost puppy following someone willing to show him kindness, was Winwin. He was wearing casual clothesâand he seemed leaner than last time you saw himâand had, somehow, grown his hair; though he kept it under a bucket hat, you could tell it was also no longer black but light brown.
âTell me you see him, too,â said Hendery through the side of his mouth, âand that Iâm not going insane.â
âSee who?â you asked, concealing a smirk.
âHim.â Hendery pointed at Winwin with a tilt of his head. âThe âbot.â
Winwin blinked, stirred from his reverie. He had been looking around, not really paying attention to anyone but the storeâs interior. Now that heâd been directly addressed, he was side-eyeing Hendery with a confused, if slightly offended expression.
âSynthezoid,â Winwin corrected, stressing the word as he unconsciously scratched the back of his right ear. âIâm not a robot.â
Hendery clicked his tongue. âSemantics.â
Winwin looked like he was going to further protest but he merely rolled his eyes and muttered, âNot even close.â
âFancy seeing you here,â you said, eyeing Winwin with a small smile.
Winwin blinked. There was recognition in his eyes and you saw a hint of his smile upon his lips. He stiffened then loosened up as he stuffed his hands in his jeanâs pockets.
âNothing fancy about it. Going to stores is free. Until you purchase something, of course.â
You chuckled. Taeil gave you and Winwin a cursory glance and cleared his throat, walking up to Hendery and resting a palm on his shoulder.
âI heard you two were looking for an apartment,â he said, subtly pulling Hendery away. âI know a guy, but, yâknow, heâs aâerâsynthezoid.â
âWhatâwhyâno.â Hendery shook his head. âIâm not movingââ
âYou see that building? Nice place, right? Thatâs where he lives.â
âI donâtâwaitâthatâs a nice looking place.â
âI know.â Taeil linked his hand through Henderyâs arm, walking further into the store. He glanced over his shoulder and winked.
âYou work here?â you heard Winwin ask.
âIââ You started then shook your head, smiling. âTaeilâs a friend. I come around to annoy him.â
He squinted. âAnd thatâs not a job?â
You scoffed. âIf it were, Iâd be well-off, yâknow? Financially speaking.â
He nodded. âStability.â
You nodded back, chuckling. âYeah.â
âWhereâs Kun?â
âI donât know.â Winwin looked past the display window. Even as he turned and met your eyes, he looked pensive. âItâs our day off yet he always finds an excuse to do something. He knows a lot of people that ask him for help so I assume he probably volunteered to do something.â
âCanât stay still, huh?â
âHe canât.â
âAnd you?â
Winwin shrugged, lips pursed into a thin, thoughtful line. âI still donât know. Iâm still learning how to justââ he paused, eyes narrowing then widening in uncertainty, ââexist.â
âWhoa. Thatâs some existential dread I donât need.â
âNeither do I.â
You smiled at how honest yet sheepish his answer was.
âWhat brings you here?â
âBeyond wanting to do some research and fulfill some personal errands , I came across Hendery on my way here. Iâd say it was rather serendipitous but he wasnât happy to see me.â
âHe didnât say anything, yâknow, rude to you?â
âNothing that I care to remember.â Winwin shrugged again, realized he had done it, then shook his shoulders, as if to repel any recurrence in his body language. As he did so, he cleared his throat. âHow are you?â
The question surprised you. Not because he asked, but how heâd asked it. In the past four months, other people had asked just to gauge your reaction or because they remembered and wanted to immediately let you know they were sorry. The question wasnât to appease any sense of guilt or caress his egos. Winwin sounded sincere. No, you realized, he was being sincere. You didnât know how to react beyond ruefully smiling at him and gently shaking your head, raising a hand as if to say it is what is and despite it all here I am.
âIâve been better,â you said, shrugging. âI miss him, yâknow. And yet life goes on.â
Winwin stared. His face was hard to read, but you noticed the empathyâreal or programmedâin his eyes.
âIâm sorry to hear that.â
âNot your fault.â
âItâs an intriguing paradox.â He looked around the shop, taking in the books near him. âHow grief elicits such an emotional response, wouldnât you agree?â
You tilted your head, confused. He noticed and pursed his lips, as though thinking how to put it plainly. It seemed a thought struck him because a small, if sheepish smile tugged at his lips. When he spoke, he met your eyes. You noticed for the first time the artificial gleam in his irises. Somehow, you werenât unnerved by it. There was some essence of humanity in his eyes, and you wondered whether or not it had been there before.
âLosing someone can cause grief. Yet griefâs not a wholly negative emotion.â
That struck you not only as odd but as slightly offensive. How could he know that? He himself had admitted he didnât need to mourn because he didnât have anything to grieve for. The words had initially pissed you off, but he was right. Machines werenât emotional; they were logical, precise, unfeeling. But here he was, staring, saying grief wasnât all that bad.
âHow can it not be? Grief is pain.â
âYes, but not for the reasons you might think.â
You raised a hand and dramatically waved it at him, like a condescending adult telling a child to impart their misguided beliefs or flawed logic. âOkay, Plato, go on . . .â
âGrief is pain, yes, but only because itâs a reminder of what was lost. In your reminiscence, you find yourself lacking a voice, a presence, a touch. Thatâs why it hurts. Itâs the affectionâthe loveâone felt for someone that can never be replaced or shared with or poured into them again. Itâs love remembering something so important to you that it lingers, echoing within until it transforms into, well, grief.â
Everything you had bottled up for the past four months was beginning to reach a boiling point. The dam was threatening to break and flood everything in its wake and yet . . . you felt relieved because something clicked in your mind, in your heart, that reminded you that it was okay to mourn. You had felt it was necessary to project strength not for yourself but for others; to let them know you were okay.
The truth was that you had been pretending you were quietly and peacefully coping to avoid confronting the truth. That you were afraid that this grief that hadnât left you and only clung to you like a sickness was going to drown you, that you would never move on, that you would be stuck in the past with only your sadness to accompany you.
âI miss him,â you whispered, the words flowing out of you. âI miss and I donât know if Iâll ever stop missing him.â
Winwin stared then took a step forward. You saw him approach, torn between telling him to back off or closing the distance and asking him to let you rest your head on his shoulder. You lowered your head, sighing and fighting back tears.
âIâm sorry. Itâs not appropriate.â
âBecause weâre in a bookshop?â
âNo,â you chuckled, âbecause itâs not normal to cry in public.â
âAnd crying in private is?â Winwin looked thoughtful. âIs that appropriate?â
âKind of.â You lowered your gaze. âAt the very least itâs socially accepted to cry in private.â
He slowly raised his head, as if understanding what you meant. âAh,â he whispered. âMaking a note of that.â
âWhy would you make aânever mind.â
âI apologize if I made you feel uncomfortable or upset you.â
âYou didnât.â
âAre you sure?â
You nodded, sniffing, smiling through the tears that were now overwhelming you.
âVery,â you whispered.
âItâs ironic that Iâm speaking of such a sensitive topic, but I want you to know that youâre not alone.â Winwin lowered his gaze. You noticed he was fidgeting with his hands, as if he didnât know what to do. âAnd, I know, itâs especially ironic that I say this since I lack a family or close acquaintances, but itâs important and necessary to be reminded that life is more than the sorrow one endures in times like these.â
âAnd you know this how?â
âIt canât all be sorrow, right? Iâve always been alone. Iâve always been an observer. And in all the time that Iâve been active, Iâve seen happiness and sorrow and realized there canât be one without the other.â
âBalance,â you muttered.
âBalance,â he repeated, nodding. âI may not feel the absence of a loved oneâfor I lack loved ones to mournâbut I understand the sentiment. Life is fragile and it can change at any moment. Thatâs why it hurts so much.â
Winwin offered his right hand, smiling a sad, small smile. âGrief is nothing but love reminding you of something so beautiful, so meaningful, so unique, that you can longer bask yourself in its presence. Itâs love persevering above all things.â
You took his hand in yours and felt how warm and gentle they were. He caressed your knuckles with his thumb then gave a soft squeeze. Before you noticed, he had let go and his hands were back in his pockets.
âYouâll be okay.â He nodded. âGive it time.â
âThank you.â
His eyes widened and a look of confusion was briefly present in his eyes.
âFor what?â
âFor being kind.â You shrugged. âFor being understanding.â
âAh,â he muttered again.
You chuckled. He looked adorable when he tilted his head slightly back, eyes widening then narrowing as he seemed to be learning something and committing it to memory.
âGoing to make a note of that, too?â
âPerhaps.â
âIâll take that as a yes.â
âIf it helps you, please, by all means do.â
You shook your head, chuckling. He stared, his expression hard to read, though his eyes were friendly, understanding. An idea popped in your head. Part of you wanted to ignore it; the other half wasnât going to.
âHey,â you said, âat the risk of sounding desperate for company, would you like to grab lunch sometime?â
âI assume weâd be consuming said lunch.â
âThatâs how it works, yeah.â
Winwin hummed like he was considering it. He tilted his head to the side, shrugged, and nodded.
âI appreciate and accept your invitation.â
You smiled. After a moment, he did, too. There was a knock on the entrance door. You both turned to see Kun clad in a coverall smeared by white and blue paint; even his hands and bits of his forehead had blotches of dry paint. He waved at Winwin, realized you were there, and gave a rather enthusiastic wave that made you both chuckle and inwardly groan.
âDuty calls, I presume.â
âApparently.â Winwin looked between Kun and you then raised a hand, as if to say give me a second. He reached into his wallet, pulled a translucent business card, and offered it to you. âTo keep contact.â
You looked at the card and whistled. âImpressive.â
âEveryone seems to think so,â he replied, half-smiling. His expression shifted to a solemn one as he offered his hand yet again. âUnfortunately, this is where I leave you.â
The words were familiar. Four months ago, you would have stilled and felt like crying. But nowâafter everything he said, after realizing it was okay to admit to yourself that wounds like these took tiem to properly healâyou felt relieved that you could think of Uncle Wong and not be overwhelmed by sadness.
âUntil Friday, that is,â you said, flicking the business card between your fingers.
He nodded and bowed. âUntil then.â
â
âYOU ONCE SAID we didnât work for a living,â said Winwin, unconsciously frowning.
Kun blinked then nodded. âI did.â
âIs that true?â
âSort of.â
âThatâs not a very satisfactory answer.â
âAnswers rarely are.â
Winwin rolled his eyes.
âBeing obtuse wonât stop me from asking questions.â
Kun snapped his fingers, feigning exasperation. âDamn,â he muttered, âand here I was thinking that if I obtuse Iâd slowly erode and destroy your curiosity.â
âNever mind.â
âIâm just kidding.â Kun chuckled. âWe sort of do, yâknow? Our programming allows us to effectively do our job. Our experiences, on the other hand, allow us to exist, to live, as humans do.â
âThatâs all I want.â
âI know, buddy. Thatâs why we sort of work for a living. We work to ease the burden. In between all that, we grow and learn and come to understand what makes life so fascinating.â
âHmm.â Winwin scratched his right ear. âSo weâre more than just machines?â
âI like to think we are. I mean . . . weâre capable of growth. That has to mean something.â
âThen I choose to exist.â
Kun laughed and clapped, celebrating the moment of independence and self-discovery. There was an affectionate gleam in his eyes as he engulfed Winwin in a side hug, who couldnât help but smile.
Winwin thought back to winter and how he hadnât felt the cold. Cold was cold, he thought. It never bothered him. Not unless he allowed it to.
Perhaps, when the next winter came, he would.
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David Corenswet on the Buzzfeed puppy interview
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sword bf đâď¸
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has anyone asked this
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HUNTR/X đĽ
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Absolutely funny how despite ě ěšěŹě (Jeosungsaja, the Korean underworld magistrate aka grim reaper) being neutral entities (they serve the underworld king) and not actual demons, they still got banned by the honmu in the movie bc they work under Gwi-ma. Is he a demon king? This dude isn't a thing in Korean folklore spirit pantheon lmao.
No worker's rights you get banned bc your boss is shit to humans!! And did they just ban death by association bc no more magistrates can lead dead ppl to the underworld...is that why they got nothing better to do than make kpop music (joke)
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The significance of Honmun for Korean Spiritualism in KPOP DEMON HUNTERS
Previously, I wrote how this movie did an homage to the history of Korean music/pop when they were narrating the history of the demon hunters here. In this post I wanted to talk about an important plot element from this movie, the íźëʏ (honmoon). For the record this term is NOT an actual thing in Korean spiritualism/shamanism/folklore, but it definitely was made with some aspects of that in mind.
FYI: Some stuff I might propose is pure speculation based on my own knowledge of Korean culture, and not something anyone in the KDH crew has said officially, so take it with a grain of salt. If there is any official interviews/info that do come out later down the line, the post will be updated. Also possible mild movie spoilers
First the word íźëʏ itself is significant. It seems to be a mix of two different words: ěíź (yeonghon) which is the word for soul/spirit, and 돸 (moon) which is commonly the word for door (sometimes can be used to mean gate). So the literal meaning of honmoon is the "Soul door/gate." And it works, because the hunters sing to emotionally connect with their audience's/fans' souls, creating a mystical barrier to shut out the demons.
Using the ëŹ´ëš (mudang) trio to demonstrate the early instances of making this honmoon with the hunters, as mentioned in my prev post, is not just coincidence. Mudang were important figures in Korean shamanism (Muism) and performed various rituals/rites for all kinds of people, many serving as spiritual guardians in their villages/community. The rites are called ęľż (gut) and the purpose of them range widely (there are also regional differences).
A common theme with the gut is that these are never PERMANENT. A good example is the ëëšęľż (Dodang-gut), usually an annual/semiannual rite to ensure a village or a community continues to maintain its well-being and prosperity. This is no different from how each generation of demon hunters must perform to maintain the honmoon, otherwise their purpose would have been fulfilled by the first generation and ended there.
Speaking of how there are multiple generations of demon hunters, even that seems to be covered in the movie too. A woman can be a mudang via two ways: inheriting the business by bloodline aka ę°ě 돴 (Kangshinmu), or being initiated into it aka ě¸ěľëŹ´ (Seseummu). In the current generation of demon hunters we see today, Rumi is a reference to the Kangshinmu (her mother was the prev demon hunter) while Zoey and Mira are referring to Seseummu (recruited/trained by Celine). But the mudang today don't really differentiate themselves by what type they are so its a fun little detail.
Going back to the honmoon, the movie seems to have a general set of colors to represent the honmoon's condition. By default it's blue, gold at the height of its power/function, and purple/red when weakened. I am not sure if the colors have much significance other than simple association (i.e. weakness is depicted in purple/reds since Gwi-ma and the demon underworld is that color) outside of gold, which associated with high status (but that's not just a Korea thing tbh). The one thing that is neat is at the end of the movie, the coveted "gold" color that Rumi and the girls wanted to achieve to reinforce the honmoon is not present at all. It is a wholly different iridescent color.
This too is significant since their performances, which are like big musical gut to help their world from demons, is breaking away from the usual tradition of hiding their insecurities and identities for duty. Hilariously enough muism thrive on building new traditions too. Mudang and muism are not like other organized religion in that there is no central leadership or clergy, and there is a lot of different variations on how a gut is performed. So a dodang-gut performed in the Chosun era would not be the same as a dodang-gut that is performed Korean village today, which would still have their own regional differences.
So whether on purpose or not, Kpop Demon Hunters really feel like a homage to not just kpop but aspects of Korean culture that is not as well liked or known. Hope you enjoyed this post and let me know what else you might want, or point out any errors in my writing!
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References in the older generation of demon hunters from the movie KPOP DEMON HUNTERS
It is not the BEST animated movie of all time but it got all the little Korean cultural references that feel like it is catering to me....in particular I really loved the narration sequence of how the Demon Hunters came to be!!! So I decided to make a post about it

The first generation of demon hunters we see are set in the 쥰ě (Chosun) era, which is a VERY common place to start for a lot of Korean media. There are no specific singers/performers they are referring to here, but they are based on ëŹ´ëš (mudang). Korean female shamans. There are male shamans as well but those are not as well known and not popular. That is why the boy band Saja Boys are based on ě ěšěŹě (Jeosung Saja) aka Korean underworld magistrate/grim reaper.

Anyway the mudang have various roles in Korean paganism/spiritualism. Instead of flashy musical numbers with weapons, they perform ęľż (gut), rituals that vary by region and function.

The second generation of hunters we see have the flapper girl aesthetic (American 1920s fashion) which was popular in Korea around the 1960-70s. This also is probably shouting out to the og Korean "girl group" aka the Kim Sisters (ęšěě¤í°ě¤) of the 1950-60s. They might not have been the MAIN influence but the trio singer composition and their fame for being popular among US troops in Korea (which launched their career in the US) doesn't feel like just coincidence.

The third generation we see has the Korean 1970s to maybe super early 80s aesthetic. I couldn't think/find any trio girl groups during this time, but they feel like a mix of The Pearl Sisters (í ěě¤í°ěŚ), Lily Sisters (댴댏 ěě¤í°ěŚ) and Kye Eunsook (ęłěě). Not the most confident with this one. Thanks to a kind bsky person, it does seem like it was MOSTLY based on the Pearl sisters, esp if you look at an old video of their performance.

The fourth generation is the 1980s, which is when the word "k-pop" starts being used to describe the songs. BUT MAN, THIS SET PISSES ME OFF BECAUSE WHY ARE THEY ALL DIFFERENT 80S KPOP STYLES? COORDINATE GIRLS!!! Again no specific girl groups jump out at me but looks like this is a reference to Settorae (ě¸ëë, aka "The three friends") seen by their performance video, which capture similar vibes.

The fifth and final generation we see before Rumi/Mira/Zoey are STRONG 90s K-POP. The whole aesthetic of stars and the hairstyles SCREAMS S.E.S which is one of the classic 90s kpop girl groups of the time.

In particular their appearance for the music video "Dreams Come True" comes to mind. The video now feels really dated but back in the day, the effects and stuff they used were the HOT SHIT. Extremely nostalgic Korean media
And ofc we got the modern trio, which I won't really comment on because they are mix of the current (2010s to 2020s) kpop and I feel like the current fans will have better knowledge of this than I about it. so that's it for now! Of course there may be some other stuff I missed or got wrong possibly, which I will fix if anything comes up. Feel free to correct me as well in the replies!
Update 6/26/25: I think people got confused on what I was trying to cite in terms of time period for the hunters. If we go by strict fashion sense it definitely harks earlier decades of AMERICAN HISTORY. But I am looking at all of this thru a Korean lens so some of the recognizeable early American fashion were popular during different times in Korea specifically. Feel free to reblog/comment the fashion refs bc that in itself is interesting too.
And speaking of fashion, I do really like how each of them have the iridescent accents on their outfits, which are reminescent of Najeonchilgi (ëě ěš ę¸°), the Korean art of inlaid mother of pearl pieces on furniture, jewlery, etc.

Update 6/27/25: I decided to write about the movie's use of Korean spiritualism/Muism to make Honmoon, which you can read here :)
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Eliot R. Brown:Â Madripoor, Princess Bar
Wolverine Encyclopedia #2 (1996)
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OH OH OH OH I GOTTA DEFINITELY READ THIS
Shadow - L.Ten
Pairing - Loki Variant!Ten x Sorcerer!Female Reader
Genre(s) - Fluff, Angst, Action/Violence
Warning(s) - canon-typical Marvel violence between TVA agents and magic wielders
Summary - When a time fracture brings a mischievous Loki variant named Ten into your world, heâs determined to rekindle the love you shared in another life. As the TVA closes in, Ten must choose between defying destiny for a stolen relationship or letting you slip through his fingers once again.
Word Count - 3.9k
Authorâs Note - This is set within the Loki series universe and may contain spoilers if you have not watched both seasons. Also written in tribute of @itsapapisongo who I loved sharing conversations with in the old NCT-writers discord about which NCT member we would cast in the Marvel universe
Taglist - @k-vanity @cosyhomenet @neocity-net @k-films (join my taglist!)
Written for the No Capes Collab hosted by @kabira. Part of my Seven Deadly Sins Collection.
Now playing: Shadow - Ten, House of Memories - Panic! At the Disco, Infinity - Jaymes Young, Dream In A Dream - Ten, Like a Prayer - Iâll Take You There Choir
Your duty is to the mystical arts and safeguarding reality, studying diligently as a devoted apprentice under Doctor Strange, the Sorcerer Supreme. One fateful night, you were at the Kamar-Taj with Strange and Wong, analyzing unstable readings in a spell when the air cracked open like shattered glassâa time fracture.
From its shifting glow steps a man. He moved gracefully, yet his aura reeked of danger, a mischievous glint in his eyes. You recognized the green cloak billowing behind him and golden horns sprouting from the crown on his head. The Loki variant scanned the room, his gaze immediately locking with yours as if you were the only person present.Â
You prepare for a fight, assuming heâs a threat, yet he doesnât attack. Instead, he smiles, his eyes full of longing, an expression of heartbreak flickering across his facade of confidence. Strange quickly responds to the danger of a Loki variant and immediately tries to contain him when you fail to take action, but the man slips away with a bow. âIâll find you again,â he murmured.Â
âWhat was that?â You were breathless as you looked to Strange and Wong for any semblance of advice.
âA Loki variant, thatâs for sure,â Wong confirms.
Doctor Strange closed his eyes, the amulet around his neck glowing green as he tried to locate the man who had just pranced through the Kamar-Taj. âI canât find him. I donât see him in any of the realms.â
You were in line at your favorite cafe when you saw the slashing of air out of the corner of your eye. You sighed, your plan of getting breakfast and coffee before heading off to the local sanctum to check in with Wong needed to be rescheduled.Â
The Loki variant appeared through the tatters of reality, blending in among humans without his cloak and horns, yet carrying himself with a presence that is impossible to mistake. He approaches you as you stand in line, and you contemplate how to best defend yourself, how to attack and neutralize the Loki variant if he tries to harm the civilians nearby. But he doesnât, and something about him is just so achingly familiar.
âAt your favorite cafe, I see,â he states, his voice floating as if it were music.Â
You finally turn to look at him fully, acknowledging him. âYou come here often, too?â
âOnly with you.â He wore a half-smile on his face, not entirely reaching his eyes. âYouâre getting your usual breakfast and coffee before going to the sanctum.â It wasnât a question, it was a statement.Â
A silence fell over the two of you as you struggled to formulate a response to him. âHave I met you before?â
âAh, I see you donât even know me in this life,â his expression falls. âTen, God of Mischief,â he states, extending a hand out to you.
You give him your name, taking his hand in yours and shaking it briefly. When you let his hand go, his touch lingers just a second longer. Something like electricity sparked through your veins.Â
âThis place was always your favorite,â Ten said, breaking the silence. âYou told me they had the best cookies in the neighborhood. They make you feel better after a long day.â That is true.Â
The line moved up, and you told the cashier your order. Ten slides up next to you and orders two of your favorite cookies. He extends a bill to the cashier, âKeep the change.âÂ
âYou didnât have to do that,â you tell him, pulling out a chair for yourself at a nearby table.Â
âCouldnât let the love of my life pay for their food,â he says while sitting down across from you. âEven if you donât know me in this timeline.â
âIâm sorry? Love of your life?â You were perplexed. This had to be some sort of trick.Â
Ten sighed, his fingers clasping atop the table. âYou know about multiverses, right?â You nod. âWell, in the one Iâm from, we fought together. We brought down armies togetherâŚand we were more than just comrades. The God of Mischief and his Sorceress Supreme.â You nearly choked on air at the thought of being Sorcerer Supreme, even if it was in a different timeline. âYou always called me out when I lied. Even when I believed the lie myself. You used to tell me that no matter which reality we were in, we would find our way to each other. Time after time, I found you over and over again, and not once did you ever flinch.â You donât understand all the references heâs making, but the sheer emotional weight of his words and the yearning look in his eyes make your chest ache.Â
The cashier called out your order, pulling you away from Tenâs musings. When you returned with your order, you gave the package of cookies to Ten, already standing and moving with you to the doorway. He took one cookie out before folding the packaging back over as he held the door open for you. âThis one's for you,â he said, extending the remaining cookie to you. âYour favorite.âÂ
Opening the package, you find that he indeed was correct. âThank you,â you tell him, placing it in the bag with the rest of your food and coffee.Â
Ten steps out onto the sidewalk behind you. âI must get going now, but trust that you will see me again soon.â He grasps your hand gently in his, bringing it up to his lips and leaving a kiss on your knuckles. âIn every timeline, itâs always you.â In the blink of an eye, he was gone.Â
By the time you arrive at the Sanctum, your mind is swimming with everything Ten had told you. You fought alongside him. You had become the Sorcerer Supreme. The circumstances that led up to that, only Ten knew.Â
You were supposed to be enhancing one of the Voidguard Circles with Wong, sealing the Sanctum off, and protecting it from multiversal energy. It was made top priority by Strange himself after Ten had slipped into the Kamar-Taj. Your magic sizzles around you, characters and symbols floating through the air as sparks fly. You tried to focus on the incantations youâve recited many times before, but your mind was elsewhere. The spell faltered as your thoughts spiraled about the Loki Variant who knew you, or at least another version of you, so intimately.Â
Wong shot you a look as orange flecks of energy shot from your hands. âLoki Variants are skilled manipulators. Donât trust his words.âÂ
âYeah, I know.â You forced your focus back onto the glowing sigils before you but they continue to swim in and out of shape, fragmented by thoughts you struggled to suppress. Yet you wonder if your mind's betrayal was just another part of Tenâs plan or if something deeper was truly stirring.Â
âYou have done this incantation before,â Wong states. âDo not let him get into your head.â
Your fingers trembled. You took a breath, extinguishing the spell mid-cast. âIâm fine,â you lied. âJust tired.â
Wong frowned but didnât press. âStrange will be in meditation for the next few hours. Iâm checking on the other Sanctums. Let me know if the circles shift again.â
You nodded. âIâll hold things down here.â
Once he was gone, silence returned like a tide, broken only by the rustle of pages and the distant hum of warding spells embedded into the Sanctumâs walls. You found yourself drifting to the library, the one place that always gave you a sense of peace. With Strange and Wong somewhat sharing the mantle of Sorcerer Supreme after the blip, you had taken up the job of librarian. It was a simple job, at least. Maintain the archives, monitor for any abnormalities, and make sure none of the books escape.Â
You sat at the large desk in the center of the room, busying yourself looking through records of past librarians that detailed the sets of books around you. But peace wouldnât come. Not with Tenâs voice still echoing in your head.Â
âIn every timeline, itâs always you.â
You were halfway through shelving a manuscript on multiversal convergence when a portal opened next to you. The air didnât crack, it shuddered, as if reality were holding its breath.Â
Your instincts flared as it split open, observing the edges for signs of the person who created it. The portal didnât swirl like it was being created with a sling ring. It was ripped, tattered, edges fluttering, wild, and unstable. You knew all too well who the creator of this portal was, already sighing when he stumbled through.Â
Ten came to a stop before you, breath ragged, cloakless, his skin glowing faintly with the remnants of his magic. No signs of tricks or mischief. Just exhaustion, desperation, and relief when he saw you. âI didnât think Iâd make it,â he said, clutching a rib as the tear sealed behind him.
Your pulse spiked. âWhat are you doing here?â His presence would surely set off the Voidguard Circles and alert the sorcerers in the Sanctum.Â
He raised both hands, showing he meant no harm, yet wincing as his hand left his ribs. âI told you, Iâd find you again.âÂ
You stepped forward cautiously, fists balled, a half-formed spell ready at your fingertips. âYouâre hurt.â
âIâll live,â Ten said, grimacing. âBut I wonât if they catch me here. The TVAâs not far behind.â
Your eyes widened. The Time Variance Authority?
The walls trembled before a mechanical pulse rang out, and three TVA agents phased into the room, golden pruning rods already lit and pointed. âVariant L1001, you are in violation of sacred timeline protocol,â one barked. âSurrender now for reset.â
Ten raised his hands. âResetting me wonât fix whatâs coming.â
âYou brought them here?â Your voice wavered. âYou led the TVA into the Sanctum?â
âI had nowhere else to go,â he pleaded, eyes on you, not the rods aimed at his chest. âI needed to see youâ one last time.â
The lead agent lunged, and you moved on instinct. With a flick of your fingers, a radiant orange shield flared between Ten and the rod, the energy crackling against your spell. Tenâs chaos magic surged from behind you, green, erratic tendrils of light knocking another agent off their feet. You spun, casting a binding circle that snaked beneath the marble floor, runes flaring as one TVA agentâs boots locked in place. Ten ducked a rod swing and countered with an explosive burst from his palm, less a spell, more a disruption, but still wild and sizzling through the air.Â
âThey donât stop,â you muttered, breath hitching as you threw up a ward against a pruning rod aimed at your chest.Â
âThen we donât stop either,â Ten answered, stepping to your side.Â
For a moment, you moved as one. Tenâs chaos magic wove around your structured incantations like threads in a tapestry, flashes of green curling around the orange of your glyphs. He disarmed a TVA agent with a snap of light, and you followed up with a temporal freeze, holding the agent in a stutter of time for just a few seconds. Back to back, you fought like dancers who had never forgotten their routine. You spun and cast a spell, he redirected it in midair, splitting it into twin blasts that incapacitated the last agent.Â
The air in the library fell into a tense, breathless silence. Your chest heaved from exertion and adrenaline. Ten looked at you. âYou felt it, didnât you? That wasnât new. That was us.â
Before you could answer, the walls shimmered again. More TVA hunters inbound. You felt the next breach building like thunder.Â
âWe donât have time,â Ten stated. âIf they get throughââ
âThen we run,â you finished, breath catching in your throat.
Ten didnât use a sling ring or a spell, but something spilled out from him. A tear of space, a rupture of willpower, and raw chaos. It bled colors that didnât belong in this universe. He extended his hand to you. âI know a place,â he said. âNot here, not anywhere. But somewhere safe, for now.âÂ
You looked between the chaotic tear and the Loki Variant in front of you, his aching eyes and war-torn heart. He wasnât lying. He wasnât manipulating. He just wanted you. âIf I go with you, how will I get back?â
âIf you stay, theyâll erase every trace of me. This, you and me, never happened. But if you comeâŚI can finally show you the truth.â His hand stayed in its spot, waiting for you.
You looked between him, the portal, then at his hand. You took his hand and stepped into it. The moment your fingers met, the jagged portal swallowed you both in a violent rush of green, and the library vanished.Â
You landed hard on stoneâŚor what used to be stone. It crumbled beneath your feet like dust, suspended in an endless void. Eroding pillars floated in the air like forgotten ruins from a godâs dream, warped by time and memory. Above you, there was no sky, just swirling green energy laced with streaks of gold.Â
Ten exhaled shakily. âWeâre safe. For now.â He didnât let go of your hand.
You took a deep breath, trying to orient yourself. âWhat is this place?â
âA fracture,â he said softly. âA pocket where timelines once overlapped, then broke apart. Itâs where I go when I canât bear the pain of the universe anymore.â He looked at you like a man seeing color for the first time. âYou always met me hereâŚIn another life.âÂ
You didnât answer. You couldnât. Not with the weight of the unknown pressing down onto your chest. Ten stepped closer, lifting a hand to your cheek. âYou still donât remember me, and maybe you never will. But I remember you. Every version. Every battle. Every stolen moment.â His voice cracked. âYou died before we could have the future we fought for. I searched for timelines where that didnât happenâŚfound only echoes, shadows. Until I found you.â
His thumb brushed gently along your cheekbone, and the heartbreak in his gaze nearly undid you. âIn my timeline,â he continued, âyou werenât just my comrade, you were my counterpart. The calm to my chaos. We were more than allies, more than just wielders of magic. We loved each other so fiercely that it frightened even the Time Keepers. You called it inevitable, that no matter how many timelines unraveled, weâd always find our way back to each other.â
Tenâs eyes fluttered shut, just for a moment, like he was reliving a memory. âYou used to steal the last bit of dessert off my plate during feasts on Asgard. You wore my cloak whenever you were cold, even though you said green wasnât your color. You told me that if we ever got to live in peace, weâd get a little cottage on the edge of reality and finally stop fighting for something bigger. You said you wanted quiet. You said you wanted me.âÂ
You stared at him, struck silent by the vividness in his memories, by the version of you he saw, by the life you had no memory of living. âI lost you in the final war,â he said, voice never rising above a whisper. âYou stepped in front of me during the collapse of the Nexus Realm. Took the blast meant for me. I held you while time bled around us, while the world you died protecting tore itself apart.â His hand dropped from your face, fingers curling at his side. âBut I kept fighting, because I swore I would never let your death be the end.â
He stepped back, just slightly, his expression almost ashamed of how much heâd just laid bare. âMaybe it was foolish, chasing ghosts across timelines. But I sworeâ I swore, if I ever found you again, Iâd hold on. Even if you didnât know me. Even if you didnât love me yet.â
The silence between you rippled like a held breath. Behind you, reality creaked, the splintered dimension straining under the weight of two impossibilities colliding. Tenâs voice softened, as if afraid this moment might fracture. âIâm not asking you to remember everything. I just need to know if you feel something too.â Then, barely audible, âI need to believe that some part of you still knows me.âÂ
You stood there, torn between two worlds. The one you swore to protect, bound by duty, and the one that called to you in a voice only Ten could hear. His words circled around you like a sirenâs song, pulling you into the chaos of love that could never be, yet had already been written in countless timelines. âI canât let you do this,â you grit out, your voice shaky. âI have to stop the TVA. I canât abandon my universeâŚmy duty.â
Tenâs gaze softened, his eyes never leaving yours. âYouâve never abandoned anyone. Not even me.â His voice trembled with the weight of his confession. âIâd never ask you to choose, but I wonât let you lose yourself for them, either.âÂ
The air around you begins to warp, the edges of the fractured reality were no longer just crumbling, they were screaming as if the very fabric of the universe was tearing. With each word Ten spoke, each moment he extended, the threads of fate twisted tighter, and the TVAâs interference grew stronger.Â
You heard a sharp crack in the air, like the sound of glass shattering. Through a tear, silhouettes appeared. Dark, imposing figures stepping through the ruins of time, their helmets gleaming in the dim light. TVA agents. You clenched your fists, feeling the pull of a battle about to unfold. Every instinct told you to act, to protect the timeline and your universe, but there was something else, something deeper coursing through your veins. It urged you to fight for Ten, fight for the love he spoke of, the love you couldnât remember but felt in every fiber of your being.Â
Ten whispered your name, taking a step toward you. He reached out, his fingers brushing your wrist in a plea you couldnât ignore. âIâm not asking you to come with me forever. JustâŚfor now. Letâs stop running from this.â His voice was thick with desperation.Â
You looked at him, the weight of your duties pulling you in one direction, while the magnetic force of Tenâs words pulled you in the other. Your heart raced, a pulse that matched the pulse of the unraveling timelines around you. Behind you, the TVA agents were closing in, weapons raised. The time for hesitation was over.
âWe canât let them reset this,â Ten said, his voice low but fierce. âIf we donât act now, everything youâve ever known will be erased. We will be erased.â He turned to fully face you, eyes alight with desperation and a sliver of something elseâ hope. He held out his hand, steady despite the chaos unraveling around you. âCome with me,â he urged. âWe can find a place the TVA canât touch. Somewhere beyond their reach.âÂ
The pocket dimension around you convulsed, like a heartbeat out of rhythm. Time fractured in crooked waves, scenery flickering between possible realities. You saw the Kamar-Taj burning, you lying beneath bloodied rubble, Ten alone in a void of stars. The shadows of what could be, what had been, and what might still happen throbbed around you.Â
Tenâs magic shimmered with unstable light, threads of yellow-green bending the air around him like a dying star collapsing in on itself. âI donât care what breaks,â his voice ragged. âThe multiverse, the sacred timelineâŚnone of it ever gave me back what I lost. Why should I care about what it takes to keep you this time?â
His confession was honest, wretched, and beautiful.
Torn between an insatiable greed for love and a destiny that demands separation, Ten stepped forward, hands shaking with restrained power. âCome with me,â he begged. âThis is our moment. One choice. We leave, we vanish into the folds of time, and we make a life. Our life.â
The air was breaking apart. The broken multiverse glittered above like shattered glass. Time ripped in luminous streams across what should have been the sky, unravelling like golden silk from the seams of reality, and Ten stood in the middle of it all, eyes pleading, hands outstretched to you.Â
âWe write our own destiniesâŚâ Your voice faltered. âBut sometimes destiny writes back.â You closed your eyes just for a moment. You let yourself feel everything. The pull, the temptation, the quiet promise of stolen hours and laughter in some starless corridor of space and time. The way he said your name, like it was a secret, like a prayer. The thought of reaching forward, one step, one breath, and finally falling into the warmth of the arms that had searched for you across lifetimes. But when you opened them again, what you saw wasnât Ten. It was the gold-lined relics of Kamar-Taj, the scent of incense in the archives, Strange and Wong exasperated at your antics. Your home. Your vow.Â
âI canât,â you confessed, and it broke you to say it. âTenâŚmy path was written long before you found me.â
Tenâs expression cracked. His hands fell to his sides, shaking, fingers curling into fists he didnât know how to unclench. Behind him, the collapse raged, the multiverse shrieking as if mourning itself. One leap, one decision, and you could have it all.Â
But duty was never easy. And love was never meant to be selfish.Â
âYouâre choosing a lifetime of rules over a lifetime with me?â His voice was soft, stunned, as if heâd already known the answer but prayed this version of you would say something different.Â
Tears blurred the edges of your vision, but you held your ground. You had to. âIâm choosing to protect all the lifetimes weâll never get to see,â you told him. âButâŚsomewhere out there, in another timeline, maybe sheâll choose you. Maybe she already has.â
Ten laughed then, quiet and broken, the sound scraped raw from the edges of his soul. He stepped back, slowly, into the swirling light of a portal collapsing under its own paradox. His eyes never left yours. âIâll find her,â he murmured. A vow. A myth. A curse. âIâll find you againâŚsomewhere.â
You nodded once, swallowing every regret, sealing it behind your lips. âI hope she loves you better than I ever got the chance to,â you profess.Â
And then he was gone.
The last thing you saw was the flicker of his magic dissolving into the collapsing stars, yellow-green threads vanishing into the glittering wound left in time. Silence rushed in like a wave. You stood alone, cloak billowing in the stillness, heart heavy, but breath steady. The TVA arrived, too late now to chase him, too late to reset the grief etched into your bones.Â
The multiverse groaned as it began to right itself. But some fractures will never fully heal.
The weight of a hundred lost tomorrows begins settling into your bones. Some loves are too dangerous to keep, and some goodbyes are the last act of love you have left to give. And to someone whose sin was greed, you only had so much you could give.Â
Autoplay: If you liked this, you may also like Regular - H.Hendery
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Bucky is a professional paperback ruiner and Bob plays stardew valley :P
wintersentry dates mostly involve them sharing space while doing their own thing (bucky is kinda intrigued by bobâs game thođ)
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PEDRO PASCAL on the set of âTHE LAST OF USâ during the filming of Episode 3 âLong, Long Time.â
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The Aristocats (1970) dir. Wolfgang Reitherman.
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