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" when the depressed girl gets happy ."
Living in a dark space for over three years really takes over. You see when everyone finally notices something is wrong, everything is always wrong. You’re a walking cloud of rain & people see u as this fragile flower & everyone is scared to let u blossom, scared u might lose a petal. Suddenly everyone questions ur sudden motives, nothing you do is ever normal. You see , living with depression is not something you decide , Depression decides for you You become a slave to ur own thoughts , ur emotions r no longer ur emotions . But once you try to make a difference in ur life , everything feels empty You become lonely without ur illness, You wage a war within urself Telling yourself , you’re tired of being sad But being sad is all u know. When the depressed girl becomes the happy girl , everyone else becomes happy for her Saying how proud they r she’s smiling But never once said how proud they r she made it out of bed a year ago when she wanted to die They tell her how much healthier she looks, but no one ever did anything when she looked unhealthy When you live ur life in negativity for so long u don’t know how to be happy correctly, you try new things, meet new people, you try And try till things make sense. Then u come to realize you’ll never make sense . You realize how much more u r than just the depressed girl. You wash out the title with a self cleanse of empowerment when u realize you are in charge. But God let u have one bad day & your mother wants you back on meds. When the depressed girl becomes happy she is no longer looking for comfort in anything but herself. Not only that, the depressed girl refuses to be addressed by her emotions , she is not what she feels , she is what she think she is. And she is a beautiful summer sunflower who petals finally blossomed , without the help of anyone And will not identify by her illness but by what She made herself
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Once you accept that everything is temporary, nothing can stab you in the back.
Ramn Grewal (via wnq-writers)
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