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The declaration of independence gay bootleg THE DECLARATION OF SISTERHOOD IN ARIA’S BEDROOM, MARCH 10, 2018 The unanimous Declaration of the five united Thicc Sisters

When in the Course of sisterhood events it because necessary for one sister to dissolve the sister Aria which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the sister Aria, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Beauty and of Beauty’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of sisterkind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all sisters are created equal and thicc, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Thiccness. — That to secure these rights, The thiccest are instituted among Sisters, deriving their just powers from the consent of the thiccest, — That whenever any Form of the Thiccest becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Thiccest Sisters, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to affect their Confidence and Beauty. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Thiccest Sisters long established should not be changed for Daniel and Kenzie causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that sisterkind are more disposed to little thiccness, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the thiccness to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such, and to provide new tea saviors for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Thiccest Sisters. The history of the present King of Great Cuntism is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these Sister’s emotions. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his sisters to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of sisters, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places ugly, ratchet, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of trying to smash them and gain their trust and pity.

He has dissolved Representative Sisterhoods repeatedly, for opposing with sisterly ratchetness on his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the meantime exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these Sisters; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Sister Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Thiccice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Thicciary Powers.

He has made Judgemental Sisters dependent on his hair alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Tacky Clothing Shops, and sent hither swarms of Ugandan Bruddahs to harass our people and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Ugandan swarms without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Weave Pullers independent of and superior to the Civil Sister Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For quartering large bodies of spitting Ugandans among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these Sisters:

For cutting off our Sistership with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Haters to be Hated and Dabbed on:

For abolishing the free System of Sisterlish Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary Thiccest Sisterment, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Sisters

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Thiccest Sisterments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all fights whatsoever.

He has abdicated Thiccest Sisterment here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging Weave pulling against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our sisters.

He is at this time transporting large Ugandan swarms of foreign Bruddahs to complete the works of death, weave pulling, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Sister Locals held hostage on the high Seas of hate Tweets to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their well known sisters and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Jake Pauler Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated weave pulling and snatching. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free county of the sisters.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native sisterice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of sisterice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of sisterkind, Enemies in Tug of Weave, in Peace Sisters.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united Sisters of Minnesota, in Sister Aria’s room, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judgemental sister of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Sister groups, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Sister groups are, and of Right ought to be Beautiful and Independent Sisters, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Athletics, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Ugly and Independent Brothers, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Clans may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Fabulous Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Sugar Daddies, and our sacred Thiccness.

i seriously made this. it took me about an hour even though i just edited the actual declaration of independence.

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