iwriteastoryduringmycommute-blog

[iwriteastoryduringmycommute-blog]

Ch 4 cont

As with every night, the sky stared back, silent and uncaring. An exchange Erlwit could live with. He drifted, from thought to thought to nothing at all. When his mind was as empty as the space between him and the stars he was free. If anyone could see Erlwit at these times they would double take and maybe flinch a little. He smiled.

That disappeared as he felt the gentle touch of the guard shaft roof on his back. What felt like an eternity in the experience seemed ephermal in memory. He grabbed the lip of the guard tower and swung into it, suprising the newer of the two guards and trading a nod with the other as he moved to the back took the ladder down to the unforgiving ground where the world and idiots like Osun lurked.

As he slowly walked back to the guild where he kept rooms, he tried to clear his mind. To no avail, he thought about the current crisis, his statistically short lived two additional party members, and if this would finally be the mission that ended his melancholy, Osun's idiocy, or Vallae's whoring. Did it matter? No but it was worth considering, if only as a motivation to bring an ale up to his rooms.

[iwriteastoryduringmycommute-blog]

Ch 4 cont

He was unique, but Erlwit never regarded himself as "special" or better than other mages. His master had drilled into him that while his ability was an asset, he should not assume it made others any less capable of killing him. Having survived all manners of monsters and challengers both arcane and mundane, Erlwit was thankful for his tutelage.

What made him unique made him versatile, a tool for any problem the guild ran into. Erlwit didn't mind, annoying and inconvenient, but it paid the tab and kept him engaged. What carved anger and resentment into his constant expression was the consistent and nagging feeling that he was alone and bereft of purpose. He had nothing in common with most mages and other enchanters were so naive and protected that being with one for more than ten minutes gave him a headache from glaring. His closest friends were an idiot and lady lady killer and he would never consider either capable of providing value in a conversation about the arcane, his lack of maternal care as a child, or anything outside base subjects. So instead he consulted the night sky, preferring the absence of a response to anything they'd offer.

[iwriteastoryduringmycommute-blog]

Ch 4 cont

With a thought he gave himself a magical burst of strength and launched himself upwards. He passed the roof and kept going, losing momentum until at about forty feet over the roof and at that moment, as the surface called for his return, he issued another silent instruction to the arcane. Instead of hurtling back to the roof he floated, falling at a nearly imperceptible rate spread eagle with his back to the world that made him want to choke Osun.

Despite advances and legions of talented individuals spending lifetimes studying the arcane, true flight was beyond the scope of today's wizards. This was as close as you could get. Staring up at the night sky, as if that nothing else existed, Erlwit didn't mind. Few mages could even accomplish this, not that those would even care to as it gained them nothing.

Erlwit was odd. His disposition was probably the greatest point of similarity with his fellow mages. Most came from nobility or another well moneyed background, he was the sone of a woodsman. Most were educated in the academies, he was taught by an eclectic image that caught him sneaking into his secluded tower. Most were soft and sedentary, Erlwit was built like a warrior if not on Osun's scale. Most had to use elaborate chants, as far as his knowledgeable master and Erlwit knew, Erlwit was the only person who could cast magic with just a thought.

Erlwit wasn't especially talented at the typical battlemage staples like fireballs, lightning strikes, and the like. His talents were for enchanting and casting support magic. Normally, such magic was usefull only for short missions or large armies due to issues with duration. Erlwit just happened to be the right mix of talents to bring enchanting to the adventurers' battlefield.

[iwriteastoryduringmycommute-blog]

Ch 4 Begin

They all had their ways of getting into the right head space for missions where likelyhood of death was higher than normal. Vallae would find some sweet lass to lay and disappear for a while. Osun would go to the guild's training grounds and put his body through the motions to make sure everything moved as it should before rigorously inspecting his kit for deficiencies. Erlwit had his too, though it was a bit more unique than the others.

Erlwit climbed. As Depot was situated on mostly flat terrain, the trees to the North and East being the tallest thing around, Erlwit selected Depot's tallest building for his roost. The northeastern watch tower was newer than all the others and much larger and sturdier, a result if it having been destroyed several times. It's occupants noted Erlwit's approach and, familiar with this particular quirk, gave him the space he needed and went back to watching the forest. Plus it did no harm to have one of the strongest adventurers in Depot on you tower if trouble came calling.

There was a ladder on the south corner, Erlwit ignored it. He walked once around the tower's base and selected the armored east face of the tower as his starting point. To most the east side appeared sheer, with armor playing coating it all the way up to the roof with the viewing platform as it's only gap. Erlwit saw more, the creases between sheets of metal and the bolts may as well have been a ladder for how easily he navigated his way up. As he neared the viewing platform he worked his was over to the south side's wooden scaffolding so as not to interrupt the guards' line of sight. Reaching the lip of the viewing platform, Erlwit catapulted himself upwards and caught the edge of the tower roof.

[iwriteastoryduringmycommute-blog]

Ch 3 cont

"Name your price," Erlwit responded evenly.

Fargo met his gaze. Erlwit was always surprised at how good dwarves were at looking down at you from below. The moment lasted and grew uncomfortable, Fargo held a bit longer before sighing and pulling out a small slip of paper and writing out his demands. When he finished he carefully reviewed his list, before nodding and handing it to Erlwit. Erlwit read it let out a low whistle and handed it to Vallae, who was better at things like this.

"Will the guild accept it."

Vallae frowned at the list, "in any other circumstance probably not. This is not an unsubstantial amount of gold, but kicker here is the five high rank 'favours' which either meets or beats the gold in value. They won't like it, but as I said they have to take it."

Erlwit turned back to Fargo, "looks like you have a deal. Who are you sending?"

"My position here is more like a representative of the collective as we worship a variety of beings, I 'choose' no one. Believe it or not we had some volunteers, all of them a dangerous combination of young and dumb. I'm sending two, and their first duty will be to each other and then to you. Are we clear?"

"Fair enough, I don't suppose they're at the same level as Mary?"

"One is close, the other less close but more capable in a combat environment. They will meet your needs and hopefully their own."

"That works for us, have them meet us at the guild no later than tomorrow morning."

Fargo caught Erlwit by the arm as he turned, the ferocity in the clerics eyes almost made Erlwit activate his enchantments. "Don't add their names to the plaque, or I will exact my price from you."

The party left cleric standing by the plaque, glowering and with an oddly knowing look.

[iwriteastoryduringmycommute-blog]

Ch 3 we need a cleric

"You need a cleric."

"We need a cleric."

The dwarf took his glasses off and set them gently on the desk and started massaging his temples. After squinting his eyes and taking a deep breath, he looked back up at Erlwit with a grimace. Erlwit matched the look, Osun pursed his lips avoided the dwarf's gaze, Vallae was inspecting the door to the office as if impressed with it's simple wooden construction. Fargo was a typical example of his kind, half Osun's height but nearly twice as wide at the shoulder, and still appeared to shrink as his shoulders sagged. "Come with me," he said with a sigh as he hopped off his chair and lead the crew into one of the halls behind him.

The party followed him as he lead them to a board along the wall with a lot of names engraved in gold. Fargo slapped it, "Here's your list of volunteers. Or at least they were, now the ones you could ever recover are fertilizing the rear gardens. So many clerics that have gone with you have perished that they have their own plaque on the Wall of Remembrance. Doesn't exactly inspire, does it?"

Osun decided he was the one to answer this rhetorical question, "they didn't all die!"

"Oh, aye, I made sure Theris the *Recently* Blind, Oleris the Incontinent, and One-Leg Mary were elsewhere when I heard you lot were coming to spare them the trauma."

Erlwit elbowed Osun hard enough to double him over, "we know we've... left our mark on the faithful, but we need one to save Depot from its current predicament. The Guild has offered compensation-"

"Oh, aye? And what has the guild decided the lives of the faithful are worth?"

[iwriteastoryduringmycommute-blog]

Ch2 cont

Power rankings were intentionally vague, especially at the top. Since one party could be more or less effective based on its specialty, experience, or make up. However it was generally agreed that Erlwit's party would win against any single other party on a neutral battlefield. Osun and Vallae were major factors in that estimate, but Erlwit was the deciding one. In the guild his most famous attribute was his foul mood, but everyone within three countries distance of Depot knew Erlwit for being the only frontline mage and one of the few people to ever killed a dragon one on one. The detail of that feat changed here and there but the base fact was he had allowed it to eat him whole and then he tore through it's insides until the poor beast could take no more trauma and fell out of the sky. It was the grossest thing Erlwit had ever experienced that didn6involve feces.

With Osun and Vallae to round out a team, they were nearly unstoppable, less one asset they'd need for this mission.

Erlwit sighed and looked at the attendant, "we acknowledge but you know what I'm about to say."

The attendant matched his sigh, "you need a cleric."

"We need a cleric."

Vallae was studying some non-existent interesting thing on the ceiling and Osun stared holes into the ground. Meanwhile, party leaders across the room subtly moved in front of their own clerics as if to shield them from harm.

The attendant sighed again and scratched his head while thinking, "well we can't call any from the capital, as they'd have to breach those fortifications. Of the ones of rank for your party, they're all spoken for not that any of them are eager to join you. Who could blame them?

A general murmur of agreement swept the croud, even Osun nodded. Erlwit a hand through his hair and looked at Vallae, "still got your contacts at the church?"

Vallae nodded, "though not pleasant ones."

"Good then they'll speak Erlwit's language," the attendant smiled, "off you go, let us know if they require a down payment."

[iwriteastoryduringmycommute-blog]

Ch2 cont

While Vallae and Osun listened with interest, Erlwit stared pointedly at his ale as if trying to divine the future in its amber depths. Breathless and injured scouts had preceded some the worst days of his life. Whatever the scout had to say, Erlwit had no doubt it would be a huge pain in the ass and somehow his problem. Why interrupt his free time just to eaves drop on something that was going to be described to him later by the guild attendant? Erlwit would enjoy his ale until the guild attendant started in with his usually, "All hand list-"

"All hands listen up!"

"There are no gods," Erlwit mumbled as he set down his half finished drink and spun to face the interruption.

"There's a substantial horde gathering not far from here, multiple humanoid races and large and extra large beasts. Possibly a dragon."

Erlwit sighed, while dangerous, this was larger an operation than the previous horde and could easily be handled by two or three of the other top parties. He started to turn back around.

"They've started erecting fortifications south of Depot."

Audible and visible confusion swept the across the small crowd of adventurers. Orcs and ithe humanoids had their camps and cave hideouts, but fortifications were beyond their meager engineering skills. Erlwit grimaced and turned back to face the attendant.

"They are our primary concern, there is also news of another horde or subdivision of the group to the south that is gathering in woods. Unfortunately it's size and composition are unknown, the scout with that knowledge is presumed dead as well as two mid rank parties that were completing quests in that area."

Osun let out a low whistle, Erlwit sighed. Not counting Erlwit's party there were four other high rank parties in Depot. Those four were better suited to dealing with the fortifications and defending depot due to their numbers and particular specialists. Which left the Forrest and the threat unknown to Erlwit, Osun, and Vallae. Just as well, open ground was their least effective setting and south of depot was flat plains. But Erlwit hated dealing with unknowns, you don't know how to fight what you don't know.

[iwriteastoryduringmycommute-blog]

Ch2 A shittier situation

Erlwit pushed through the guild's door, followed Vallae and then Osun with his sack of snake head. The fine people of Depot were naturally disgusted by their smell, the people in the guild building didn't even notice. Several of their number smelled nearly as bad and one or two may have even smelled worse. Erlwit sat at the bar and was greeted with an ale from the barkeep, Vallae found the most attractive barmaid to romance for the night, and Osun brought his sack over to the guild's front desk.

The guild attendant took the sack and, with considerably more effort than Osun, hefted it on to a blood stained table in the back. After examining it thoroughly he smiled at Osun and nodded. "Larger than we thought but probably the one that was reported, I'll log the quest as complete and clear your account."

Osun sighed and went to join Erlwit at the bar he had previously partially destroyed. As he passed the door a guild scout ran through it and bounced off him. The scout was filthy even next to Osun's filth-caked boots and looked like spent the last day running. Everyone in the guild stopped to look and listen as the scout recovered and sprinted to the guild desk. Scouts always traveled in pairs.

[iwriteastoryduringmycommute-blog]

Ch1 contcont

Where Osun was typically the center of the fight and a stable one, Vallae shaped the battlefield around him. Armed with a host of tools and small magics, she had turned around many battles for Erlwit and Osun. Ambushes rarely favored the enemy for very long. And all this was in addition to being able to put an arrow on target across a mobile battlefield mid-sprint. No-nonsense and mechanical, Vallae was the architect of many of their successes. Current situation as proof, the battle was more or less half over.

The now half blind and distracted serpent wasn't prepared when Osun drove his shield into its body and pinned it in place and even less for Erlwit's leap over the titanic elf. Erlwit's hands were wreathed in a green flame and when he grappled the snakes neck just below the head its flesh sloughed away by the handful. The poor reptile collapsed as Erlwit leapt free, it's head rolling free of its twitching coils.

Osun freed his shield and scanned the area for five heartbeats before looking to Vallae for confirmation. Vallae waited two more and then nodded, Osun stored his axe and Erlwit's various glows winked out. Osun's shoulders sagged only a little when Erlwit recalled his strength buff.

"See the eggs?" Erlwit asked Vallae as she walked back towards the group.

"Small dead log back the way I came, it should be handled n-" a small hiss and crackle accompanied by smoke came from behind her,"-ow"

"Perfect, Osun grab the head and let's get out of here.

"On it."

[iwriteastoryduringmycommute-blog]

Ch1 cont

Osun was tall, even for typically towering elves, but what turned heads were his broad shoulders and bulky build, highlighted by his heavy armor. Apparently as a youth he had achieved a self awareness that most idiots never find in a lifetime. But he knew he was big and so had sought every means he could to capitalize on it. As one of the most talented vanguards in the business, he had reason to walk with his head up. Luckily Erlwit was there to ensure Osun kept his gaze firmly grounded, or he never would have noticed what he had just stepped on.

Immediately the demeanor of the crew changed. Even as Osun yelled "SNAKE!!" he snapped his great shield into position and unhooked his axe from his belt. Erlwit posted up behind him with one hand glowing blue with magic on Osun's back. Vallae had run immediately right and slightly back the way they'd came, unlimbering her short bow and pulling an arrow from quiver with a flare built into it. The snake moved too, rearing back as if to strike, even half submerged its head was nearly 15ft above the surface. Vallae put her flare arrow into its left eye and the missle combusted.

[iwriteastoryduringmycommute-blog]

Chapter 1, poor character development

Erlwit, unpleasant under normal situations, was setting records for ill temper in his current predicament. He plodded through the filth of humanity towards fate unknown. Literal human filth, he was knee deep in a shit swamp produced by 50 years of poor city planning teamed with climate and geologic conditions. Granted, when the frontier town was founded by adventurers and the imperial army it was not intended to be a permanent fixture. Depot, with its uninspiring name, just happened to be perfectly located to serve as a launch point into the northern wildlands where adventurers and intrepid craftsmen contended with monsters for rare materials and riches. And so Depot became a hub for the brave and a target for the beasts, and had in fact been sacked a time or two by orcs, trolls, and the other violence inclined denizens of the wildlands. This threat is what brought Erlwit of the Foul Disposition and his normally cheery companions into the accurately named Shit Swamp which occupied the depression immediately north and east of Depot. To be fair, Shit Swamp contained other bodily fluids and the bodies of quite a few former invaders and an unlucky few defenders, but the bouquet was definitely biased towards its namesake.

The smell that assaulted Erlwit the Never Smiling and his companions, the warrior Osun and the ranger Vallae, failed to dissuade an abnormally large serpent from moving in and harassing Depot's inhabitants. And so this merry band of two and one asshole were dispatched by the adventurers guild to handle it in return for damages caused by Osun during the second most recent bar fight at the guild's Depot Branch headquarters. As Erlwit the Master of Frowns and Vallae are officially affiliated with Osun in the guild roster their fate was shared. None of this, improved Erliwit's mood, though nothing ever did.

"Wow, this is terrible. What a shitty situ-"

"I will gut you," Erlwit stated in his traditional monotone as he aborted Osun's attempt to break the miserable silence. Miserable silence being Erlwit's preferred atmosphere. "Vallae, are we close?"

"We should see it soon, looks like it has cleared this area of what little vegetation was here to begin with. Might be about to lay, they're known to create floating nests."

Erlwit looked at the female human as she trudged through the muck, "Will they have hatched?"

"No, hasn't been in the area long enough."

"Small blessings, Osun don't speak."

Osun stared glumly at the mulch, the usually jovial elf defeated by Erlwit and their current environment.