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I love how these are from an Unreality subreddit but to my eye they just read like regular Tumblr shitposts. Did we cross-pollinate or something

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when i tell you i had an aneurysm

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*benoit blanc voice* now that is just amazing, mister kira, but you seem to be a lot less bright then i musta thought... we're only broadcasting this program to the kanto region of japan.

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Jason + Molotov cocktails

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YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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It's impressive how Neil Gaiman vanished from the internet. Wish Rowling would do the same.

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random anecdote for father's day: one time during a long car ride my dad asked me, "you're familiar with Murphy's Law, right?" and i was like "isn't that the one about how anything that can go wrong will go wrong?" and he said "yeah, exactly" and i said "why do you ask?" and he went "well, have you heard of Cole's Law?" and i said "no, actually, what's that?" and he said "it's mostly lettuce and carrots with a little dressing mixed in"

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the tiktok itself is funny but i’m deeply obsessed with this dog

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Took me years to understand the "why the long face" punchlines to "so a horse walks into a bar" jokes because I just thought that's a normal sized face to have if you're a horse. It never occurred to me to judge a horse by the standards of man

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honestly i never thought the phrase “i want that twink obliterated” was like a sexual thing. like when i read the phrase i imagine “a meteor like the one that killed the dinosaurs is summoned from the heavens and hits the twink in question” type situation

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Not to like be too enamoured with celebrities but Stellan Skarsgård really is some kind of nationall treasure

x

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YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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