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(driving home from work) i must not kill myself. killing myself is the myself killer. i will— (sees a guy jogging shirtless and he’s all sweaty) Woaw i wish I lived in his armpit (crashes car into telephone pole)

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money beyond ypur wildist dreams

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kinda wanna get railed but in a "i love you where have you been all my life i’m obsessed with you and you belong to me and only me kinda way" you know just the romantic things

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the philosophers of our time are on tumblr dot com

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im ngl that scene in the lighthouse when hes trying to jerk off to the idea of a hot mermaid but keeps getting distracted by unsightly visions symbolizing his guilty conscience and descent into insanity is so real like. it really is like that sometimes

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aaaaaaaaand post

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it’s so crazy how many mid movies r made every year that u wouldve never learned abt if ur mutual didnt want to fuck an actor that plays in them

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instead of identifying with a sexuality label which will inevitably always be a vague generalisation, i will release a continuously updated smash or pass list of every being on earth so you'll never be in doubt

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My friend just sent me this and I felt that

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some of you bitches are crazy af and into some nasty shit; Where is your dignity? Your self-respect? Your number? Whats your address? You free tonight?

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There is supposed to be a place where no one can reach you. Traditionally, the home, but now we settle for the ocean, the airplane, the summit of a mountain, the middle of a lake, the shower, the womb, the grave

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I am a WHORE for “the love is requited, they’re both just idiots”

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Sex is when you push your finger into someones open wound and they make a pathetic little moan in response

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I love British mystery shows set in beautiful peaceful quaint idyllic towns full of simple happy folk who are constantly murdering the shit out of each other.

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it must be tdov the way I need some Transgender Dick Or Vagina