ja-i-ruh

[ja-i-ruh]

Currently in Cebu City. Anyone from here? Let’s get coffee?

[ja-i-ruh]

to be seen without performing. to be heard without screaming. to be missed without disappearing. to be enough without proving it. to be held without falling apart. to be understood without explaining. to be wanted without conditions. to be. to be.

[ja-i-ruh]

Leadership Intentions and Journey

During our last meeting with the Senior Director, I took the initiative to address topics related to my projects. Later that day, I approached him to express my intention to apply for a leadership position under his management and asked what qualities he seeks in a leader. To my surprise, he indicated that he already saw the leadership potential in me and emphasized that what I needed was refinement. This unexpected affirmation was striking, as I had only been doing what I felt capable of without external encouragement, aside from one supportive friend who is also a lead. I realized that my limiting mindset has been a barrier to my growth.

In the days following that conversation, I found myself reflecting on my desire for development. I am eager to acquire the skills and confidence needed before upcoming opportunities arise. I spoke to my manager about my aspirations to become a leader and my interest in receiving coaching. Although our coaching sessions have been postponed, I remain hopeful about the insights I will gain, as I believe a new perspective is essential for my growth.

So, what steps am I taking to embark on my leadership journey, and what values guide me? I believe that true leadership goes beyond simply holding a title; it involves helping, leading, and guiding others. To begin, I reached out to trainers, former SMEs, and previous agents, expressing my appreciation for their work, regardless of scale. I congratulated them on their promotions and encouraged them further, ensuring they know that I support them and have faith in their abilities. While I correct them when necessary, I also motivate them to strive for improvement. I remind them that I believe in them and encourage them to reach out when they need assistance. When they do seek guidance, I ask probing questions to help them find answers and strategize solutions. I don’t need a formal title to assist; I am committed to helping within my boundaries, and I am willing to refer them to the appropriate team lead when necessary. Additionally, I strive to communicate gently, particularly in emotionally charged situations, allowing time for contemplation before responding.

I believe that leadership is rooted in service rather than authority. One cannot lead effectively without serving others, which also means setting a positive example and making a meaningful impact in someone's life. Recently, I have focused on self-awareness, jotting down ways I can positively influence my colleagues and identifying areas for personal change to fulfill my goal of servant leadership. I have also chosen one individual to mentor to ensure our current role remains stable and our projects continue smoothly should I transition to a different position.

In terms of my progress, I hope my small steps are guiding me toward becoming the leader I aspire to be. One additional thing I recognize I need to do is to filter out unconstructive criticism. While I appreciate feedback, I must avoid listening to critical voices that lack understanding and support. Though these distractions are minimal, they can be impactful. For now, I will continue to wait, pray, and learn.

[ja-i-ruh]

Hoping to enter a new season.

[ja-i-ruh]

— Kriti G.

[ja-i-ruh]

Ang sabi nila bawat puso’t kaluluwa ay may kaparehang itinakda. Ang sabi pa nila ay darating kung pagbibigyan ang pag-ibig na hindi mawawala.

-Ang Sabi Nila, William Elvin (Musika hango sa "Mula sa Buwan")

[ja-i-ruh]

If I can rewrite my life...

I love day dreaming. This is an every day thing for me. I live in the world of my own fantasies. It helps me to cope to my every day sentiments.

And if I can rewrite my life, I would absolutely resign to my corporate job and write again. I used to work on theater scripts in High school and College. Theater is where I found my place without being in the shadow of my sister. I love writing. It is to the point that I don't care if people recognize who I am. I just want my work to be out there! I also worked as a side editor to a book before and a plot editor for an indie film. If I can rewrite my life, I would live for it. I want to write again.

I want to publish my own book. I have this huge compilation of my flash fictions. They are inspired in real life and my daily day dreaming. I let few people read it and they said it was like getting in to the deep part of my soul. I named the book "Writings under the Moonlight." I would like to share it here but I'll finish editing it first then I will put it in a share point for you to read.

I also want to put my script out there. I have one Filipino script that I am still contemplating if I want translate it or what. I want to have one more look to it before really submitting.

I have a fantasy writing that is in progress for too long but I want to finish it and publish as a book and hopefully someone gets an interest to it to make it a film. It's a fantasy/history touched story.

I want to live in the writing world. Don't get me wrong, I love my corporate job for I get to teach. I am teacher by profession and that's just the life I chose. But as I get older, I want the quiet life. If you call it cave life, I'll live for it!!! My corporate job pays my bill and I am grateful for it. I hope when I am 40 or 35, I can get to restart my life to the life I really want without thinking if it pays my rent. Everyone deserves to live their life passionately.

At 31, I am hopeful. See you when I get there! How about you? If I were to ask you, "If you can rewrite your life, how does that look like?"

[ja-i-ruh]

[ja-i-ruh]

Laura K Linke

[ja-i-ruh]

I needed this small encouragement from work. 💖

[ja-i-ruh]

Today’s wedding look. 💖

[ja-i-ruh]

Baguio Diaries.

[ja-i-ruh]

[ja-i-ruh]

Let’s Not Rot — 11/27/24

How do we navigate pain? 

Grandmother’s passing is an overwhelming feeling for me. For the first day after burial, I uncontrollably cried. I couldn’t stop even though my eyes hurt so bad. Then I started with the usual — sleep deprivation, distracting self with work, using background noise so I won’t feel alone, cut contact, stop talking about my feelings, strong urge to drink alcohol and hurt myself (though I didn’t), I was mad and sad at the same time, I got bad nightmares, and a lot more.

I honestly don’t know how to respond with pain. Sometimes, I want to translate emotional pain to physical pain because that’s easier for me. I can just clean the wounds and cover it. Does that make any sense?

How am I doing lately?

I had to force myself to do things like get up, drink, eat, clean, take a bath, go out and see the sun, walk, etc. I had no inspiration. I don’t like the things I usually enjoy. I can’t reply well with “how are yous”. I still cry from time to time. 

Let’s not rot.

It was an idea by Kait Grange on Tiktok and I am just trying here too. 

It’s been 22 days since she passed. I can’t imagine not seeing or able to call someone who has been constantly there for 31 years of my life. But what do I do not to rot? I close my eyes and say a little prayer to fight my urges to drink or hurt myself. I try to write so even though I don’t talk to people much so I can still let it out. I convince myself throwing the trash on the first floor of the building means I have to walk outside and see the sun after work. I try to text friends whom I trust even though it is so hard. I whisper to myself “send it” even though it’s tough. I try to go to family gatherings even though I don’t want to. I try so hard. I even to convince myself to take a bath even though it’s like a chore right now. But hey, I try. 

I hope this is enough for a day not to rot.

[ja-i-ruh]

“Apply for that job. Date that person. Buy that plane ticket. Move to that city. Do all the things that scare you, because they’re worth it.”

— Unknown

[ja-i-ruh]

[ja-i-ruh]

The worst pain is getting hurt by the person you explained your pain to.