jack-thinks

[jack-thinks]

Kant would have settled for nothing but him, im crying

“The story of you and me will be etched on my skin forever”

THE HEART KILLERS | EPISODE 11

[jack-thinks]

i love how awkward RayMew was as a relationship and you just know it took conscious effort on the actors' part to make it look that way cuz lets be real, Khaotung can strike up chemistry with literally anyone and you can genuinely see some solid chemistry from Ray's side when RayMew kiss even though it's overpowered by the fact that it's all just a farce in the face of their true partners. they both know it too.

but what makes RayMew so uncomfortable to watch is not just the bestie vibes there. you could liken that to the SandNick kiss where they realize it's just friendship there and choose not to act further on it. but RayMew take that one step and we can straight away tell that is not going anywhere. they're just too caught up in other people. even when they are together, they are alone in their thoughts. they are both heartbroken - Mew in a more obvious way and Ray more unconsciously. they are both chasing after that feeling of love they felt with their previous partner, but this time they decided they'd do it right, with the right person. Mew is supposed to love Ray. Ray is supposed to love Mew. everything is as it should be.

but then why is it not? how come every time Ray is with Mew, he has to run back to Sand?

Their friend group sees it too. Cheum (while i have my reservations about her), who is always trying to hype up Mew and his choices, can not hype him up with this. The entire friend group which was already falling apart, shatters with the last string being Ray and Mew taking it that one step ahead. now there is no more friendship in that group, they are just an amalgamation of all things wrong.

it's how absolutely miserable they are together, doing things that they should be enjoying, that makes it unbearable. it's how doomed they are from the very start. not a single person could root for them, not even Ray, who wanted it the most.

i love that OF showed us RayMew bec the show needed it and the audience needed to see it in a way that we didn't need to see SandNick develop. that could stop at a kiss, but RayMew needed to take just that step into awkward territory before they both could set their minds straights.

[jack-thinks]

I need a volunteer to train and help him learn. I volunteer, sir.

the eclipse | episode 2

bonus: the 🍆 joke, just for @guzhu-furen

[jack-thinks]

@pscentral​ anniversary event: take three -> vibrance + favorite character ⤷ KHAOTUNG THANAWAT as BISON AECHITPOL in THE HEART KILLERS [ inspo: ★ ☆ ]

[jack-thinks]

looking back at kantbison's relationship and specifically kant's relationship with submission throughout the show after episode 8 has really put a lot of things into perspective for me.

bc like. it's complicated. i'm not gonna pretend that it's not. there's too much there in kant's character to ever really be able to isolate one thing he says or does before like. episode 6 or so. and be able to say 'this was exactly what he meant, this was his sole feeling and/or his sole motivation here' bc everything's far too intertwined to ever pick apart properly.

that said though. i always felt there was a sense of reluctance in kant when it came to giving bison power over him and specifically the bdsm thing. and i could never quite figure out bc i didn't particularly get the impression that he disliked it either but there was just something that was off about it that i could never quite put my finger on, but i think i've finally figured it out. and it's really not that surprising, bc as this show's gone on it's become increasingly clear that with kant all roads lead to the same place, and that's the issue of choice - or lack of choice, in kant's case.

submission was never really the issue i don't think. kant knows how to submit, is good at submitting - at the end of the day, isn't that what he does with christ? submit to his will, follow his orders? isn't he collared and chained to him? isn't he such a well behaved dog for him? kant knows very well how to submit. but the thing is is that it's not a willing act of submission where christ is concerned. kant submits because, like with pretty much every other facet of his life, he has no other choice. he behaves because he has to.

and then the next thing kant knows there's bison, outright telling him that he'd like him to submit. to let bison take charge and have kant bend to his will, to follow his every whim. and bison wasn't pushy about it - if anything it was the opposite. he was reluctant, assuring kant that it was fine, that he didn't have to, that actually maybe it was better that they didn't. he gives kant the choice. but it's not a real choice. kant's answer is already laid out for him.

and i think that's where the dissonance entered. you see hints of annoyance and frustration before then, but the much more subtle 'off' feeling that i felt started around then. and i think it's bc for all intents and purposes kant was already completely submitting to bison's will. he was already going along w whatever bison wanted bc he had to, bc he needed bison to trust him, bc saying no to anything thrown his way wasn't (and had never been) an option.

but ofc bison didn't know that. he just wanted to dom his boy. but i think he could also feel the reluctance and the confusion around it all. bc despite what he said and did to reassure bison that he was into it and wanted it too, kant was always subconsciously resisting. and as i said i think there's a lot in that too, it's not simply one thing - bison is a murderer at the end of the day, and dom/sub dynamics are supposed to be built primarily on trust, and kant didn't trust bison not to hurt him too much or go too far. it was also clearly a new thing to him considering he didn't even know what a safeword was. and it was maybe even some weird sense of loyalty to christ. you know what they say: you can't serve two masters. and kant already had one. he was already collared and chained, already submitting. and kant's current master had an awful lot of power over him. he knew what kind of punishment awaited him if he disobeyed.

but above all else kant knew he couldn't really say no. and he hated that.

and so we're back to choice again. the one thing kant has never had. here he is getting forced into submission again - not by bison, but by circumstance. and so no matter what he says or does or how into it he really does seem, there's always this subtle reluctance that rolls off of him. there's always just something off about it all. (which, thinking about, may have been one of the reasons why so many people were turned off by kantbison, bc there was just something not quite right in the vibes, but i digress)

but obviously things change. kant accidentally falls in love with bison, despite his best intentions. and, maybe even more importantly, bison falls in love with kant. and that love changes bison - bison, who needed power so desperately when they first met that he turned nearly every interaction they had into a game of tug of war. bison who, despite not necessarily needing kant's submission, would also never ever give in to kant's will, not even a little. but that same bison falls for kant, and he begins to yield. starts to let himself just be, and by extension let kant just be too. bison begins to settle, become a little docile. he lays on kant's chest and kisses his feet. he rolls onto his back and lets kant loom big and dominating over him, despite how desperate he once was for power. and kant is clever, he knows that's what bison wanted. that's why he gave into him all the time. but by letting kant maintain some of the power in their relationship without a fight, he's basically telling kant i would like you to submit to me, but i don't need it. i just want you. and kant hears that. and that changes things. because without knowing it or even really meaning to, he's given kant a choice.

and we all know what kant chooses.

and to be clear, for the most part i think this is all happening on a subconscious level without either really realising it or thinking about what's happening. but the choice is conscious. it's his. and kant chooses the master that gives him the option to choose. that choice changes everything for kant. everything. it recalibrates his whole world view, his whole life. and the minute he chooses (chooses!) bison, he submits himself to him wholeheartedly. he puts the collar on himself.

but we don't get the reality of what that means until ep 8 bc of yknow. all the stabbing and kidnapping and manipulation and retraumatisation and scheming such. but then we do see it. and we see just how deep it goes for kant, that ease of submission, and his desire for it. how he doesn't run despite having many, many opportunities to do so. how he doesn't eat even when bison's nowhere to be found and he has freshly cooked food in his hands bc bison hasn't said he can. how he doesn't untie himself despite being able to bc bison tied him up for a reason. and sure, all of that is love too, and it's also playing nice bc he desperately wants bison's forgiveness. but this is all also an active form of submission, the same way a dog submits to their owner when they say sit, down, stay, wait. a good dog doesn't eat until it's given permission. and ultimately doesn't the fact that kant safewords tell us exactly what kind of state of mind he's in? what he thinks about their situation and their relationship? (and i won't go over it bc i've already talked about in length here but the act of safewording truly said so, so much)

and yknow, thinking about it really it shouldn't even be surprising bc we were literally shown who kant was back when they first met. and what did he do? went when bison said to go, came when bison said to come back. bison said you're not doing this alone and kant sat still and let bison ride him to his heart's content. it was very subtle, but he really was submitting to bison in little ways all the way back then! the signs were there!

and the beautiful thing about it to me is that in episode 8 there is not a single moment of dissonance between kant and bison. there's no more weird vibes. there's just kant and the first choice he's ever got to make. kant and his chosen master. kant and the hand at the end of his leash. kant and bison.

[jack-thinks]

i have been trying soooooo hard to resist his charms but for the past month or so it's like first has been on a one man mission to ruin me. like what do you mean first said he's the most similar to kant out of all his characters because he loves physical affection even if it's just linking pinkies. what do you mean he cried because he felt so bad that he couldn't get his best friend the present he wanted for his birthday. what do you mean the first director he ever worked with was mean to him and threatened to cut him from the show so now he goes out of his way to be kind and patient and understanding with his younger less experienced colleagues. what do you mean khaotung said first is so nice to everyone he meets to the point that sometimes he's taken advantage of. what do you mean the username that first uses on the game he plays (on an ipad while at the gym btw) is basically the thai equivalent of 'pookie'. what do you mean the thing first was most thankful for in 2024 was feeling like he was becoming more himself than ever before and having people who supported him as he explored and figured himself out. like does he know how brave it is to do that. does he know how brave it is to admit that. does he know that he has broken something in me in the most beautiful way. does he know that he is so charming and lovely and has such a warm almost childlike energy about him. does he know how beautiful and rare and wonderful that is. does he know that i have unfortunately imprinted on him like a baby duck and now i have to stay with him forever. does he know that.

[jack-thinks]

i find it a little inane that people think Bison isnt actually a dom because of the swing kiss scene (which i love) and many other soft scenes where he surrenders himself to Kant and lets him lead. the theory that he desperately needs control in life which is why he tries to be a dom in bed is appealing but that is not the only reason.

Bison likes taking control in bed - this is something we are shown from KantBison's first encounter in the red room scene. however, outside of the bedroom, we also see Bison enjoying being hugged, groped and held and being coddled. he likes being cutesy and has no issued with Kant taking the lead. in fact, he likes it when Kant chases him.

the idea that Bison cant be a dom when he lets his partner soft dom him prolly comes from limited knowledge of how dominant/submissive relationships actually work outside of the media's portrayal of them. but this idea is faulty in and of itself because in reality, things are not always so strictly black and white.

it is statistically proven that most people who enjoy bdsm fall in the spectrum of both sadism and masochism. it isnt just one or the other. so someone who enjoys receiving pain is just as likely to enjoy inflicting it. someone who enjoys taking control might just as well be into giving up that control. between established dom/sub partners, there might be a dom and a sub as a general rule, but their role also changes from scene to scene. bdsm is about enjoying yourself by testing the limits of your pleasure and exploring them. you dont have to necessarily confine yourself to one role forever.

coming back to the why of him enjoying dominance in bedroom, of course it is a way of gaining some control in his life. but also, the individual acts are enjoyable to him. we aren't just talking about manhandling here, this man likes inflicting real pain and is into things like face slapping which is not just painful but also degrading. it takes me back to KantBison's first meet where Bison put Kant in his place for being overconfident in his approach. Bison clearly gets a high out of degrading his partner in bed.

these are all things that come naturally to him. he isnt trying hard to gain control or doing it out of a fear of losing control. he gains pleasure from the acts alone. him having gone to the extent of having bondage binds strapped to his bed for easy use just indicates that this is something he is confident about and has made past the trial error phase. he knows what he wants and he has no qualms in making his wants known.

KantBison are also clearly comfortable with the dynamic that they have created so far. you could rightfully argue that Kant was pressurized into bdsm but the nipple clamp scene stands as evidence that this could actually work between those two. both Kant and Bison enjoyed that scene. Kant was willing to lose himself to the pleasure and let Bison take control in the same way as he had back in the red room. he ended up enjoying that as well.

[jack-thinks]

i had no idea that straight A/B/O was a thing. genuinely thought the omegaverse was just an excuse to write mpreg

[jack-thinks]

why do religious people think they are entitled to respect? no, i dont respect your shitass man made mythology that you use to justify bigotry and do all the thinking for you. no, i dont respect an institution that divides humans in every sphere of life. no, i dont respect people who live by beliefs that have historically killed people who dont fit in. i will never respect structures that claim superiority and the right to dictate another's life.

what are you gonna do about it? what are you gonna do, that you dont already do? respect is earned. religion has only ever earned my disdain.

[jack-thinks]

GMMTV will never not be funny for putting a theater gay in a football court to see what he'll do.

and all he does is act like a fair maiden, pretending the ball is hurting him in a room full of hunks and then getting up and fixing his hair.

[jack-thinks]

ass or tits?

KantBison, FadelStyle: Yes.

[jack-thinks]

Thought for the day: RPF is actually not as bad as yall make it.

First of all, rpf has no business being so demonized when most people cant even get actual fictional characters' core traits right. you think your rpf about some celebrity is true to their character? it's basically just an OC you creat by borrowing the physical appearance of someone a particular group of people can visualize. you dont know these people. every time your rpf is set in an AU, you are engaging in worldbuilding for your OC. every time you say stuff like "his ocd got triggered" or "she felt insecure about her body" it's a trait you are molding the character to have. it is not real.

the only time this becomes a problem is when fans fail to distinguish reality from fiction which ends up with very real consequences for the celebrities involved - biggest example being the 227 incident which culminated with ao3 being banned in China.

but in general, rpf really just exists as a trope that writers use to make their work more relatable to the audience and to be guaranteed a target audience in the first place. let writers write - policing basic creative expression does no good for anyone.

[jack-thinks]

ok but are we brushing over the fact that Bison said that he feels lucky to have met Kant? i fear we've already lost him

[jack-thinks]

this entire scene. the moment when Kant and Babe see him with a gun and he realizes he has scared them. he goes from worried for Kant and Babe to worried they will see him differently now. he asks "did i scare you?" with a wobbly smile, and when he sees that Kant still looks rattled from the encounter, he continues to ask questions to distract Kant from what just happened. you can tell that Bison feels a distressing need to ensure that Kant still sees him as a regular man who works at a burger outlet - just a cute guy he picked in a bowling alley, not a killer (edit- "look at me, im so cute, do i look like i can hurt anyone" to "did you really think i was gonna hurt James?" he clearly does not want Kant to view him as dangerous in any way. he knows Kant finds him cute and he happily leans into that image)

he is also uncharacteristically cautious in asking if he can stay the night.

when Kant shows hesitation in Bison staying over, Bison follows up with a "na" and a head tilt. you can see it in his eyes that he is anxious that he has messed this up. he is desperate to be let back in, to the point that he would even plead. Bison doesn't really come off as the pleading type, he is clearly not used to it.

it is only when Kant agrees, that he regains his footing enough to go back to flirting.

Bison was so scared Kant will view him differently now... look at his smile, he is relieved and so so glad.

(also, gaddamn he's pretty)

[jack-thinks]

this might make me come off as slow but im getting it now: this man fucks. like, he truly fucks, and he's good at it. thats his entire vibe, walking dick first. i might even go so far as to say that a part of his personality is centered around his confidence that comes from knowing that he's good in bed.

[jack-thinks]

let's try. [ inspo: ★ ]

@kdramaspace 2024 YEAR IN REVIEW | Blast from the Past: Only Friends (2023) @asiandramanet creator bingo: black & white @userdramas creator bingo: black & white, single font  @userdramas get to know me bingo: love languages

[jack-thinks]

[ Sure. I'll let you be Batman this once. ] First Kanaphan as Kant (The Heart Killers, 2024-2025)