jacob-portman-lover

[jacob-portman-lover]

"Omg systems are so dangerous and scary!" "You need intensive help if you're a system!"

...anyways I'm going to an amusement park and a concert today! As a system. And im gonna somehow do it without exploding

Mind blowing. I know

[jacob-portman-lover]

So I'm sleep deprived

Only 7 hours in the past 48 going gone strong!!

And remember the singular post I made of Lottie and Jim? That literally got no buzz?

So that small thing became a big thing and now I'm just desperate for parallels where there are none

Mad !

Sad !

Mildly perplexed !

Friend just died in some sort of fire related way !

About to make a decision that will alter how the fandom and characters views them forever (as a result of their friend dying) !

Happy (and the fact it took me so long to find pictures of either of them happy is kinda sad) !

Going a tad insane !

Contrast in color motif !

Water ? (those who know. those who bro.)

"Who goes there" ahh poses

Other similarities in poses I just think are silly ig

And lastly their final form

The best display of who their character really is

And the worst part is both (and I mean BOTH) were only doing what they believed would be best to protect everyone. The others all put them on a pedestal because of it, expecting them to know what to do at all times. They willingly assume the roles. The only difference is that one succeeded in saving everyone but traded it all away while the other failed and let insanity skew their perception

Anyway LottieJim forever (put me down. for a NAP.)

[jacob-portman-lover]

Here’s my metaphor for systemhood that I tell my singlet friends.

Imagine you’re playing a first person video game. You have the controller, you control your character. It’s a normal first person game. You are an alter, the character is the body. This is fronting.

Other people live with you. Sometimes, they come into the room and sit and watch while you play. They sometimes try to guide you, give you advice on what to do next. They don’t always agree, and they can argue with each other. Other times they scream at you that you’re doing everything wrong and you suck at this game. This is co-consciousness.

Imagine how distracting it would be for people around you to tell you what to do, or to scream at each other or at you, even if they have good intentions. It wouldn’t be easy to focus on your game, would it?

Then sometimes, something happens in the game that prompts you to hand off the controller to someone else so they can play and you get a break. This is (some types of) switching. This can be good.

Other times, someone rips the controller out of your hand or fights you for it. This is (other types of) switching. And sometimes, six other players hook up their controllers, but there’s only one character to play as. So all of you have your controllers, but you’re all trying to play the same character. This is cofronting.

Imagine how difficult that would be. Imagine how hard it would be to try and play a game while someone is trying to take the controller from you, or while six other people are trying to play too.

There are also times that nobody is playing, or you can’t decide who should play. What’s happening to the character in the game? What are they doing if no one is playing? This is dissociation. The character is doing nothing. They’re stuck.

This is the best metaphor I have come up with for being a system. It’s something a lot of people get because they’ve played games before.

[jacob-portman-lover]

01. We split depending on the stress level of our life at the time, we split really easy under moderate the high stress

02. All of our parts are distinct, they have their own names, identities, and personalities. But we have similar interests and little amnesia (mostly emotional)

03. We have 3 hosts! They also go be the term "main guy"

04. Ziggy, bro is 7'7, blue, has gills, always soggy, tail and long ears, and js a weirdo

05. Name: The Vascular System, we chose it because we're really into medical shows

06. Yes! We have something called "the council" which idrk what they do but they're the important people. Then it's a group of protectors and watchers that doesn't like, have a group name. Then it's the "behind the curtain" people that like....idk make sure we make moderately good choices. Then the like frequent parts that help with day the day things. Then bottom of the barrel is the hosts 💔

07. Dark burgundy purple or army green!

08. Omg. Our life would end before the debate about the nutritional value of this one food for the health of the body ended

09. We've always had "imaginary" friends in our head growing up and we always went to our "happy place" (headspace) during trauma as a kid. We came to terms with it about 3 years ago? But started researching 4 years ago

10. WE'RE ALL SO DAMN QUEER. so many innersystem relationships. theyre all gay.

We have dsmp fictives 💔

11. Fav: people who *actually* know what's going on in my head like 100%

Least fav: everything else

12. Winty, merbear, doc rock

13. We visualize it in birds-eye view but like....individual alters see it like first person

14. Yes. Vampire, ymbryne, weird fish siren thing, gods, raccoon hybrid, maybe some more I can't remember

15. Sweat.

16. Theirs a pair of pants that belong to the war media sourced parts, Skunk has claimed a bear named jack and dipper claimed a bear named Jerry, Sam ironically claimed our sam winchester cut out

17. Many parts disagree on how to handle situations, how to treat people in our life, and morals. Disputes are usually settled by yelling and name calling then going to respective corners and getting over in and being buddy buddy again

18. Octocon!!! Anti-endo and really fun!

19. It feels isolating, as we can't talk about it openly irl at all, so our system only exists for us and our phone pretty much rn

20. One person we still talk to, but he doesn't like talking about it 🤷‍♂️

We've tried to talk to our therapist but...long story short he sucks at his job

21. Sadly no

22. "I love my system" "I hate my system" "Im content with my system" "Im okay with my system but I wish it weren't here" etc. are all phrases that can exist together

ask game for systems!

endos dni.

just some questions that i think would be fun to answer ^v^!! note: i use the terms system/alter/headmate, but they can be replaced with whatever terms you prefer/use!!

01. do you tend to split alters easily? if so- do you notice the splitting or is it more confusing/covert? what are some signs that you've split a new alter?

02. in 2+ sentences, how distinct are your alters? does it depend/vary?

03. do you have a "host"? if so- do they use or prefer a term other than host?

04. who is the most "bizarre" headmate appearance-wise?

05. what is the reasoning/story behind the collective name and system name (if any)?

06. does your system have any form of hierarchy? if so- how does it function?

07. if your system had a collective color, what would it be?

08. your entire system can only eat one food for the rest of your life, how much fighting is there?

09. how/when did you realize or come to terms with being a system? how long had you noticed the symptoms prior to "acceptance"?

10. what are some cliches in your system? (can be alters, innerworld spaces, functioning, etc.)

11. favorite and least favorite thing(s) about being a system?

12. what are some weird or silly names alters call each other?

13. how do you visualize your innerworld (if you have one) ? is it bird's eye view? more "3D"? how easily would you be able to draw or imagine your innerworld and its layout?

14. do you have any nonhuman headmates? if so, what species are they?

15. what are some collective or reoccurring pet peeves your system has?

16. do alters take claims on items? (for example: do alters call specific plushies theirs?)

17. how well do alters collectively agree on outer-world topics? is there arguing? how are disputes usually settled?

18. do you have any system-related recommendations? such as apps, places to shop, brands, websites, books, movies, etc.

19. how do you feel about being a system? is it anxiety-inducing or are you more connected and content with it?

20. are you open with anyone IRL about being a system? would you ever tell anyone about your symptoms?

21. do you know any systems IRL?

22. what's your biggest system hot take?? (or most controversial system opinion)

[jacob-portman-lover]

Shipping Hilson is such a treacherous rabbit hole that you never really get out of. It was around season 3 I think when I decided to SIMPLY THINK about the potential of a relationship between House and Wilson and CA-POW 💥 YOU AINT GETTING OUTTA HERE BITCH.

Then I think for a moment: okay, maybe there isn't a way they could be together. They argue too much, they disagree, they don't flirt—

AYO WHAT DID HOUSE JUST THREATEN TO FUCK WILSON'S BOOTY?

Oh nevermind he's just joking arou—

MY BROTHA DID WILSON JUST PROPOSE?

Ahaha they're just friends fighting over a—

"I need you to tell me that you love me."

I was then shot 57 times.

[jacob-portman-lover]

A system is a collection of alters. Alters are chronically dissociated self states or ego states, with different neurological pathways that are often accompanied by a varying degree of amnesia. Dissociation is caused by stress/trauma and in many cases other mental illnesses. Alters are a byproduct of dissociating from the trauma that occurred that caused your ego states to not form into one. You can’t dissociate from trauma you do not have. You will not form DID/Parts without trauma, as the brain would not purposely sabotage itself.

You cannot be a system without trauma. Argue with your mama about it :)

[jacob-portman-lover]

welcome to princeton-plainsboro high school

hi guys me and my friend @ricky-mortis made a house high school au

yapping below

house is a science (chem or phys idk) teacher at pee pee high school (what the kids call it)!!! he’s also the club advisor for clubmed and also the lacrosse coach!!!

wilson is an english teacher at Princeton-Plainsboro High School (NOT pee pee) and also the drama club advisor.

theyre married but the kids don’t know cuz they think its funny.

principal cuddy…

star lacrosse player rich boy robert chase (in this au he lives with his dad) joins clubmed from fatherly pressure. hates it. makes friends. hates it less. accidentally ends up wanting to be a doctor. allison cameron and eric foreman both want to be doctors and joined clubmed. cameron later transfers schools because her and chase’s breakup was SOOO BAD… awkward to this day… foreman has no friends and eats lunch with house everyday. house lets him do whatever with lab equipment.

thirteen and kutner are also in this!!! so house used to be a doctor but his malpractice lost him his license and also the connections to get jobs in research or college level teaching. hes kinda lost after that. vicodin abuse happens!!!!! and then he goes to rehab hooray!!!

after rehab something something wilson (who he knew before idk hes not a doctor though) is like. this stem teachers gonna retire in a year or two!!! and house (he wants to spend more time with wilson) speedruns a teaching certification and gets hired!!!!!!!!!

blah blah teachering blah blah gay theyre gay theyre in love blah blah

FUN FACTS!!!

house insists on being called dr. house (many students know and have pointed out his lack of medical license)

house HATES the school admin (yet is department head of science. so is wilson for english. house makes his ducklings do department head work for extra credit)

eric foreman’s grade in house’s class junior year was 234%

foreman is president of clubmed, chase is vice president. chase is not happy about this

kutner is alive and well (rocketry club…. and clubmed)

wilson has a lot of old movie posters in his classroom (house keeps all HIS posters at home)

house and wilson harass admin to get the same lunch and prep periods (when they do not have the same prep periods house will drop into wilson’s classroom unannounced while wilson’s teaching)

yes they do gossip about the students

along with foreman, the rest of the ducklings AND wilson eat lunch in house’s classroom

foreman gets called mini house and he hates it

house takes his classes on frequent field trips often unrelated to course content. they go literally ANYWHERE that isnt school

foreman chase and cameron have all graded papers for house

when foreman and chase graduate they both ask for letters of recommendation from house and he begrudgingly agrees and he never ever shows it to them (OR WILSON) even after it’s been submitted because its the nicest thing he’s ever said ever

house cried at their graduation (so did wilson but he cries every graduation)

wilson got house to play piano for a production. reasons for his success are unknown.

ok yay

[jacob-portman-lover]

” being a system must be soooo fun !!! “ sure , i have some really cool headmates and my innerworld is fucking sick , however it was NOT fun to get abused as a young ass kid .

[jacob-portman-lover]

happy Pride month to whatever Robert Leckie had going on in The Pacific

[jacob-portman-lover]

Oh, so when they get spoken to by a god in their head they're a "prophet" and "will lead us to salvation," but when I get spoken to by a god in my head I have "DID" and "should go to therapy."

[jacob-portman-lover]

fuck it sledgefurgie x challengers if anyone gaf

[jacob-portman-lover]

Me: Oh man I am so stressed out lately I sure wish I had someone that could take on some of these responsibilities for me

My brain immediately:

[jacob-portman-lover]

System culture is I need a fat blunt

.

[jacob-portman-lover]

ducklings i'll be honest daddy's about to kill himself

[jacob-portman-lover]

we deserved full frontal male nudity in house md

[jacob-portman-lover]

i keep forgetting i have the disorder that makes me other people (joke, i know its more than that) and i got ice cream and went "This isn't my order!" no duh it's john bingleborpus'

[jacob-portman-lover]

how did the writers of house do that. how did they make the queerest, deepest, oddest, gayest, weirdest relationship ever. how. house and wilson are so, so, them. i havent seen ANYBODY able to replicate that vibe, that,, 'im straight, but gay, also this is my husband' vibe. its, like, impossible yet so there in housemd.