jadelwheel

[jadelwheel]

The internet could change next week, and not in a good way

You may have heard about the efforts in Europe to reform copyright law. The debate has been ongoing in the European Parliament for months. If approved next week, these new regulations would require us to automatically filter and block content that you upload without meaningful consideration of your right to free expression. 

We respect the copyrights and trademarks of others, and we take all reports seriously to ensure that your creative expression is protected. We make this clear in our Community Guidelines. There’s already a legal framework that works and is fair: Today we take down posts and media that contain allegedly infringing content when we receive a valid DMCA (Digital Millennium Copyright Act) takedown request. We also provide clear-cut ways for people to fight back if they believe their removed content was not a true violation. These instances are monitored and reported and live in our biannual transparency report. 

The suggestion to use automated filters for issues of copyright is short-sighted at best and harmful at worst. Automated filters are unable to determine whether a use should be considered “fair use” under the law and are unable to determine whether a use is authorized by a license agreement. They are unable to distinguish legitimate parody, satire, or even your own personal pictures that could be matched with similar photographs that have been protected by someone else. We don’t believe that technology should replace human judgment. Tumblr is and always has been a place for creative expression, and these new regulations would only make it harder for you to express yourself with the freedom and clarity you do so now. 

If you access Tumblr from Europe and want to act, you can find more information on saveyourinternet.eu. 

[jadelwheel]

Assassassassininin’s Cred

Hey. I’m not dead. This isn’t even remotely about Pathfinder, but fuck it, I post what I want. Let’s talk about Assassin’s Creed, more accurately the ways it’s left its roots. This post is partially inspired by the excellent video by Veselekov: “The Three D’s of Open World Gaming”, but a bit more specific, focused on AC in particular. This is basically a short novel btw so prepare for reading.

My first point is the easiest to justify and explain away: marginalizing the modern story. I’m not talking about the PC demographic, as we’re currently playing an Egyptian woman, but rather how it doesn’t quite matter. Making AC a more classic RPG instead of closer to a Character Action game detracts from the idea of reliving history. Your ancestors or whoever lived in a specific way. Side quests and optional objectives are easily explained as tasks that your ancestors performed, but aren’t crucial for your modern protagonist, so you can skip them, or perform them for increased synchronization, which in most games translates into health. The problem is, player choice flys in the face of this. Switching characters, like in Syndicate and Odyssey (even though Kassandra is canonical), multiple endings to quests, skill systems when you can’t acquire every ability, and multiple endings doesn’t logically work. The only way to know the “canon path” is to read the books. But…the last two games are fun, and I love classic RPGs. They’re games, so fun is the most important thing, but the modern story is invariably weaker for it. But fuck it, this gets a pass in my book.

But my main point, and the one I have ideas to fix, is traversal, and slightly about combat by association, and split further into two points. Really starting with Unity, the problem of player engagement has compounded with Origins and Odyssey. Movement has slipped from parkour into hold R2/RT to go f a s t. That’s anathema to player engagement, it’s just hold the button to do the thing. Further with engagement, the simplifying of the notoriety and detection systems means you don’t even need to pay attention to the world. In the previous games, if you were free running in front of guards, they would detect you as suspicious, and detect you as suspicious, and if you didn’t get out of their line of sight fast enough, they would turn hostile, and your notoriety would slightly go up. In real life, go to a city and scale a building or a statue, the cops are going to be like “Hey why, stop that.” Origins has no notoriety, even after you lose your Medjay supercop status, and in Odyssey nobody gives a shit unless it’s in a military fort, where they’d attack you no matter what, and even at high notoriety, or “bounty,” the soldiers won’t notice and attack you, just increasing numbers of bounty hunters will track you, and your only option to reduce your bounty is hide somewhere for a longass time or pay it off. My solution: reestablish a full notoriety system, and improve guard detection to notice suspicious behavior, not just openly hostile behavior.

The second issue with traversal ties to the “hold one button” problem, because free running just isn’t fun anymore. AC didn’t invent free running, and admittedly there might be a bit of over-saturation of games featuring parkour, but instead of free running continuing to progress, it’s regressed. Even in AC2, Ezio eventually learned the long-jump/reach ability, which AC1 didn’t, ergo progression, and it encouraged going back to earlier areas to explore more fully, as some towers weren’t scalable before. Origins and Odyssey: you hold a button. You don’t get better. In Odyssey, you level up and later automatically gain the ability to take no fall damage, and later still gain a ground pound, but it doesn’t feel like it matters. Leaps of Faith still exist, and even at first level you have an ability to survive any fall, so who gives a shit. You don’t learn these abilities through a quest, or even get a little pop-up notification. Shit doesn’t matter. But you know what games have fun traversal? Prototype 1 & 2, and oddly Saint’s Row 4 because it’s very similar. Probably Spider-Man too, don’t have it yet. So many options for crossing the map; fast and slow ways to climb buildings, power jumps, air dashes, gliding, wall hops, and vehicles to boot. Now the protagonists in those games are superhuman, and our AC protagonists are only slightly superpowered, but the point is having options. Wall hops and power jumps could totally be justified, even if they technically don’t make sense, and fuck Ezio had parachutes for gliding. Imagine this: the trigger governs sprinting and climbing, but doesn’t govern jumping. So you’re running along a rooftop, and tap X/A for and little hop to clear an alley, or hold it to leap with all your might, springing across a street to barely snag onto the edge of another building, out of pursuers’ reach. Imagine you have to jump off a tall building with no haystack around, but instead of automatically rolling to disperse your downward momentum, you have to hold O/B to reduce your fall damage, or if you time pressing with the moment you touch the ground, you take almost none. Botching “drop rolls” would have you take full damage, and a small movement penalty for a short time as you’ve just completely fucked your legs. Imagine you’re losing a fight in an alleyway, so well timed jumps will allow you to hop between two close walls, reaching the rooftop to make your escape (though not for a very tall building, otherwise it supersedes suspension of disbelief). Two side notes in regards to enemies and transversal, you play a highly trained assassin usually, sometimes for decades, and yet Shitwit the guard who makes minimum wage can climb just as well? I think class-based enemies should be reinstated, with Warrior, Hunter, and Assassin types like the current skill trees, but only hunters and assassins can climb without a ladder, and assassins are actually faster than you, like the fleet enemies in the Ezio trilogy. But back to yourself.

I have another idea to implement this type of movement overhaul, and gameplay in general, but I’m not completely on board with it, but it bears consideration. A lot of people have compared the combat overhaul to being Souls-like, and while I wouldn’t 100% agree with that, I think it could take a cue from the series. Something I really liked about Odyssey was how you had to budget your adrenaline, performing the right abilities at the right time to win a fight. Resource management. Which again, makes me think of the Soulsborne series. So I think this concept could be improved on with the addition of a stamina system. I know, I know it would turn off a lot of players, but I don’t mean for it to be necessary, just a way to reasonably restrain your best abilities, and force you to pay attention, even when free running. Sprinting and quick climbing for long periods while in combat would slowly drain stamina, or after very long periods out of combat, so it adds a touch of realism, but you’d rarely be just sitting around to regenerate stamina, and running out when trying to climb a viewpoint would be fucking infuriating. Heavy attacks would consume a chunk of your bar/meter/whatever, but normal attacks would not, so you’re never completely defenseless. If you have a shield, it’d also take a small amount away. Wall jumps would consume a lot of stamina, to prevent you from Jackie Channing your way up absurdly tall surfaces. Power jumps would consume a low to moderate chunk, but only when the button is released, so you’re not punished if you get knocked out of it by an attack. Botched drop rolls would not just inflict the previous penalties, but also completely drain your bar. If parachuting is back, I don’t think it would really consume stamina as you’re resting in the harness for the most part, and I wouldn’t have swimming drain stamina simply because the breath meter fills the same role. Stamina would not just replenish over time, but parrying, perfect drop rolls, and executions would reward you for good play with returning some of your stamina. The reward part is somewhat inspired by Nioh’s “Ki Pulse.” It forces you to pay attention, which such a huge part of player engagement, tying back to my earlier point. And I’m not suggesting removing the adrenaline system either, even though 3 meters to pay attention to may be a little difficult for more casual players, and the two can interact with new skills. Maybe a skill that lets you use a bar of adrenaline to restore your stamina. A skill that makes attacks that consume adrenaline reduces an enemy’s stamina. More skills that just reduce the cost of some abilities. Another that lets you restore some health when you regain stamina. And skills in general for this kind of overhaul, regardless if you think stamina is a bad idea, like faster sprinting to keep up with assassin-type enemies, higher/further jumps and power jumps, Ezio’s leap ability. Basically…I just want to enjoy what I loved about these games, feeling fast and untouchable, but I want to care again, not just hold a button.

Closing remarks: I miss old eagle vision, but the current version is cool, so I’d like a future protagonist to have both kinds. Guns are cool, I want them in a game again. Origins has poor replayability because it’s basically an RPG without player choice, but Odyssey really succeeds at this; I played a pacifist/stealthy Spartan Alexios, and I’m looking forward to playing a bloodthirsty Athenian Kassandra. Boats feel really slow, so I honestly hate sailing missions. Let me pet every animal in sight. Odyssey felt weird without a hidden blade; I know that the spear filled that role, but it’s so iconic, and the first hidden blade was used to kill Xerxes, before Kassandra’s/Alexios’ time, so it can be canonically justified. Fire physics in Origins and Odyssey is really cool. Origins weapons didn’t make sense because badass spears and swords are purples while randomass fake replicas are golds, like what? AC3 ruined the skill needed in PVP so it wasn’t fun anymore.

Where do you guys think the next game would be? Somewhere norse would fit the theme of going further back than the previous games. Prussia around the time of Frederick the Great would be very fitting, as he once described himself as an “enlightened absolute monarch” which is the most Templar shit ever. The idea of a cyberpunk spinoff is sorta fun, but the modern story would need to be saved first, and it sort of clashes with the theme of exploring history.

tl;dr: Assassin’s Creed is still fun, but for different reasons, which is sad because it could be fun in both ways.

No but really fuck sailing missions.

[jadelwheel]

Signing for the skeleton war grants you protection from the skeletons for the rest of your life, reblog for granted skeletal protection and a place in history. 

[jadelwheel]

Fuck CreamPai

Examples of Net Neutrality in the United States

At one point, AT&T was an exclusive iPhone distributor. When Apple decided to go the non-exclusive route and brought Facetime to their phones in 2012, you can only use Apple’s Facetime on WiFi if you’re on AT&T. They stopped people from using it on their networks. This is no longer the case.

T-Mobile has a “Binge On” Feature. Basically, you can watch as many videos as you want without counting towards your data usage. The problem with this is that in the beginning, it slows down other video sites and it took a while for them to get this right.  While they are expanding the list and will continue to do so, in hindsight, it was not one of their best ideas.

Verizon blocked Nexus 7 Tablets. Here’s a story of one man who is filling a suit against Verizon by himself: https://www.theverge.com/2017/8/9/16114530/net-neutrality-crusade-against-verizon-alex-nguyen-fcc

Verizon admits to throttling video: https://www.theverge.com/2017/7/21/16010766/verizon-netflix-throttling-statement-net-neutrality-title-ii

Google has a service called Google Voice, which enables the user to have one phone number rings several phones and offers visual voicemail. Originally, they were going to work with all the cell phone companies to offer this product to their customers. However, only one stepped up to the plate: Sprint. Google has to offer workarounds for other companies and while they do work, they don’t work as well as the one with Sprint.  This is also part of the reason why Google’s messaging system is such a mess. Allo, Duo, Hangouts, Google Messenger… why so many ways, my guy?

Here’s a list of other offenses by various companies big and small: https://www.freepress.net/blog/2017/04/25/net-neutrality-violations-brief-history

With Net Neutrality, we can keep the telecoms in check. Without it, this list would have been longer.

So, get on the ball and help us to tell the FCC to back off the Net Neutrality rules. Go to https://www.battleforthenet.com and take action.

Don’t just like… reblog and take action!

[jadelwheel]

Entry 12: The Peasant Rail Gun

Let me make it perfectly clear that I didn't think of this, but it really shows how you can manipulate the rules of this game with a little creativity. So hire a bunch of peasants (a couple hundred will do, for God's sake they work for copper, the savages). Have them all stand in a straight line, and hand the one in the back a pike. Command them all to hold their action for a round, so on the next they act in order. On the next round, have them pass the pike to the person in front of them, and the last person just lets go of the pike. Each peasant occupies a square, 5x5ft, and say you've got 200. In 6 seconds, that pike travels 1000ft. That's 9 pounds traveling about 114 miles per hour, concentrated into a single small point. In scientific terms, that'd fucking murder almost anything. Don't forget that the speed increases exponentially with the more peasants you add. Now, your GM is never going to allow you to put this into terms of damage, probably just distance.…but… With an investment of 100 gold, assuming peasants work for a few copper, you easily surpass the force of a semi on the highway, making a strong argument for blasting open an enemy keep's walls and defenses. Hell, get enough of them and you'll probably break the planet's gravity (impossible to calculate, but probably less because Golarian's core is hollow [see: Rovagug]) and make a missile, especially if you slap on some explosive runes. All for cheaper than a resurrection spell. So think about that next time a party member dies, you could bring back one guy…or destroy anything you damn well please. Thanks for reading! Revel in your filth.

[jadelwheel]

Entry 11: Fuck It

Fuck it. Fucking fuck it. I’ve lost this data so many times, fuck everything. This was the main fucking reason I stopped churning these out, how fucking demoralizing it got. I was gonna do a big thing, separate it into categories; light, one-hand, and two-hand for each simple, martial, and exotic weapons, include resistances of common enemies but fuck it. There was gonna be a big math explanation and chart and everything but fucking fuck it. It’s the falchion guys, the fucking falchion is the best weapon.

It’s martial, so most classes that need a weapon can use it. It does 2d4 damage with an 18-20 critical. That’s an average damage of 5 (1d4 has an average of 2.5) ignoring criticals, or 5.75 with critical (this bumps to 6.25 with improved critical), and a maximum of 16 damage before stats. 2d4 is strictly superior to 1d8 (average of 4.5), and anyone can tell you how amazing it feels to crit 25% of the time.Don’t forget, the falchion is two-handed, so it goes with Power Attack and most of the better damage archetypes and feats. The estoc was really close to winning this. It does all of this, plus it’s finesse-able, and can be wielded with one hand if you take the exotic proficiency. But a whole lot doesn’t care about piercing (most undead), and the only thing slashing isn’t effective against where piercing would be is against oozes. Because there’s so many ooze armies out to take over the world. About now, of the 9 of you reading this, one of you will be screaming THE KATANA IS THE BEST YOU SHIT, IT’S 1D10 18-20/X2!!!!, locking their caps like a mutinous crew. But you shit, Paizo made the katana twice with different stats, and people (like me) just took the best of both. The current official katana is exotic, 1d8 18-20/x2; has the bastard sword quality and the deadly quality. Better for coup de grace, but overall worse. All of this is irrelevant of course. The Peasant Rail Gun is the real S tier. Thanks for reading! Revel in your filth.

[jadelwheel]

Pathfinder is Bullshit

Welcome back to the most irregularly updated blog known to man, as well as that one monkey blog. So I have noticed that this wonderful game of ours is completely full of fucking garbage.

The Problem #1: I’ve been competitively fencing for about 10 years. Considering you fight against literal monsters, that’s not an unreasonable expectation of a PC. But when I whip out my epee (think a nonlethal estoc), I can make a whole lot more than 4 attacks in 6 seconds, and I sure as fuck ain’t level 20. If I’m jerking myself off, I’d say I’m level 5. Pathfinder says that I can make 1 attack every 6 seconds, the length of a round. But using a stopwatch, I can make about 8-10 attacks in 6 seconds that’d have enough force to hurt someone if the blade was pointed. That’s because Pathfinder thinks a dagger attacks as fast as a greatsword.

The Solution: What I would do is grant bonus attacks, kinda like Two-Weapon Fighting, based on weapon size. When making a full attack, light weapons would get 2 extra attacks, and one-handed weapons get 1 extra attack. Finesse-able weapons, like the rapier and elven curve blade, are treated as one size category smaller for the purpose of bonus attacks if the wielder has the Weapon Finesse feat. In addition, the Two-Weapon Fighting feat acts kinda like Multiattack for animal companions, where you can use it, and any feat listening TWF as a prerequisite, with a single weapon, but these specific extra attacks are treated as offhand attacks, and take an additional -5 penalty on attack rolls.

The Problem #2A: Guns work nothing like this. Advanced firearms and on, sure fine fuck it, that’s pretty close. If anything, I’d bump up their damage dice by a level or two to be realistic. But let’s use the musket, an early two-handed firearm, as an example. In Pathfinder, all guns except the fire lance target touch AC, indicating that they can punch through even the toughest armor. Not true. Maybe with the culverin, it being a cannon, but early guns couldn’t pierce armor. In fact, not only could knights in full dress barely feel getting shot, with armor as low down on the pecking order as chain mail, gunshots would just leave welts. That’s right, bringing a musket on a Crusade would be as effective as bringing a paintball gun to a nudist beach. Early guns had nothing to do with armor being all but abandoned, their primary benefit being their ease of use (despite their wild inaccuracy), they scared horses and other animals, they probably scared the people that didn’t have guns, and depending on the nation they were cheaper to make than crossbows, which also didn’t require incredibly specialized training like bows did. Guns would fucking hurt, the bullets often becoming shrapnel if they could get through armor. Some asshole named Puckle hated Muslims so much, that the guns he made could fire spherical bullets to be used on Christians, but could also fire cube bullets, which hurt a lot more but are less predictable in flight path, to be used against ‘Saracens’. If anything, Pathfinder guns should do a tick more damage, even though they outclass everything already. Armor was phased out because swords became better. The mercy dagger was always a fairly common sidearm, being a knife that could go through the eye slits in a helmet. But rapiers and such developed as a means of getting through the small gaps in between plates. Since armor became less useful, it was just weighing knights down, and was still very expensive.

The Solution: Early firearms target AC, like everything else. All guns go up a damage die, or two in some cases, maybe even doing a point of bleed damage to represent the shrapnel effect. All handheld early firearms get a static -1 to hit rolls to represent their inaccuracy. Handheld firearms are martial weapons, but siege weapons stay as exotic. In a round that the wielder fires a gun, they can make an intimidate check as a swift action. If the attack lands and deals damage, the wielder gains a +5 bonus on this check. The wielder treats a shaken opponent as flat-footed for the purpose of AC, but not for any other effects and abilities. This all makes guns pretty powerful, even moreso, but they are counteracted by the second reason guns are bullshit

The Problem #2B: Early guns were fucking slow. How slow? Like as slow as Pathfinder thinks siege guns are. I’m not talking about the speed of the bullets (though some bullets were slow enough that supposedly you could see them travel). I’m talking about reload speed. Let’s bring back our friend the musket. In Pathfinder, it takes a full-round action to reload a two-handed firearm, in other words 6 seconds. With rapid reload, a standard action. With rapid reload and alchemical cartridges, it’s a move action. That means you can fire once every round with a musket if you have both, or 10 times a minute. If you’re a very specific type of gunslinger, you can get this down to a free action. With rapid shot and level 20, that’s 5 shots a round, 50 a minute, but you have to be at the absolute pinnacle skill level of a musket. So let’s look at the real world people who were at that pinnacle. You know how many shots they could make a minute? 3. Not 50, 3. With fucking baller hand speed and special training, reloading took just under 20 seconds. This could be increased artificially using the precursor to the spotter, sometimes called an armsman. A really good shot would be partnered with a really bad shot. The good shot would carry two muskets, fire them in quick succession, and the shooter and the armsman would each take a musket and reload together, and repeat, bumping up the shots per minute to 5 or 6. Certainly not fucking 50.

The Solution: Early firearms take 3 full-round actions to reload a barrel of a two-handed firearm, and two full-round actions for one-handed. Rapid reload and alchemical cartridges no longer stack, and turn these full-round actions into standard actions, so the reloader can still move, and gunslinger abilities make these move actions, so the wielder can shoot once every 2 rounds if they don’t move (the musketeer archetype lets you treat two-handed guns as one-handed for reloading). Being /very/ generous, but at least when it gets to the gunslinger’s turn, he won’t say ‘I’m still reloading, ignore me for two rounds’. It also rewards switch-hit builds, which have been good for RP, but not very worthwhile from a power perspective.

Now, none of this is balanced, this is for realism. And the reality is, not all weapons are created equal. Plenty of the weapons in this game of ours were straight-up replaced by others throughout history. But if you’re an over-analyzing assbomb like me, then it’s something to think about next time you run a game. There’s plenty more things I could do to call Pathfinder bullshit, but my phone battery has gone from full to 28% over the course of writing this.

Thanks for reading! Revel in your filth.

[jadelwheel]

Imagine being a boss in dark souls

You’re this millennia old god devouring, universe ending, legend, you’re literally so powerful that no one comes and challenges you anymore like it’s just the way things are. No ones like “man I bet I could take aldrich and dethrone him” because that’s just not a thought that crosses anyone’s mind. Your powers are beyond compare.

Then one day this skinny loincloth wearing ass naked little shit named fartmancer or something comes through with a pyromancied +7 great sword and tanks you in like three minutes. Your attacks don’t even phase him. Spells that have felled armies in one swoop are casually barrel rolled. Weapons that have slain gods are being raised against this dude and he’s just eating every hit like it’s breakfast.

Then when you die like the bitch that you apparently are??? he takes your hundred thousand souls and then loses them to a sentient pile of piss outside. They’re not even gonna be spent they’re just gone forever. And he doesn’t even care. They meant nothing to him.

What a fucking shit shoot that would be right?

[jadelwheel]

You have been visited by the Chan of wealth, reblog this and you will have money come to you!

[jadelwheel]

Entry 4.5: The Coven of Infinite Eugenics

Still working on the big thing, still can’t be bothered to finish all the low-level dips. Just noticed this feat, and thought I should make an update.

So before, the only requirement for your feats was that everyone was a level 1 witch with the Coven hex. Now, find a hag and pray she’s in a babymaking mood, because you need a shitload of Changelings.

For those who don’t know, Changelings are a race of all-female half-hags. While thematically interesting, they’ve never really been hot shit. With the new ‘Witchborn’ alternative racial trait, they get +2 Intelligence and Charisma, which is most pertinent to the feat in question: Coven Caster.

Basically, roll a d20, and add either your Int or Cha modifier. If the result exceeds a DC of 10, then the Changeling can boost the caster level of an ‘adjacent’ spellcaster by +1. Just use the same 'placement method’ as for the Allied Spellcaster feat.* I could go into the Point Buy system for all of your followers, or if you really wanted to, you could roll their stats, but honestly, that’s a lot of math that I’d be doing in my head. Just assume that the final result would be more than this.

*Note: Let’s be honest, about 2 things. 1. This blog isn’t about what’s in the rules, so much as what you can get away with. A DM worth his salt wouldn’t let any stage of this work, regardless of the rules. 2. There’s probably a way a level 20 witch can count whoever they damn well please as adjacent, I just don’t know how off the top of my head.

You have to meet saves, not just exceed them, so that’s an inherent 11/20 chance of success. Average for all stats is 10, for Witchborn Changelings 12 Int (this is where you would do the math for higher Int, thus a higher chance). So now it’s a 3 in 5 chance of success, or 60%. Multiplied with the 165 bros (or sises, I guess), that’s an average of 99 Changelings that passed, and thus +99 caster level.

Tacking that onto the previous math, your caster level is 311. 3110 damage to a maximum of 311 creatures in a 40 ft. radius spread, and it can be cast from 800 ft. away. I was reading the spell wrong before; I thought of the PC going critical, but this is now a long-range mortar squad. Take the feats and everything to boost the radius, and now you're a nuke missile silo.

As before, I can't even ponder the implications if an entire party took Leadership. All these numbers would be multiplied per member. There's also no official ruling on whether or not a cohort can take Leadership itself. Only rule is that a cohort must be 2 levels lower than its master, capping at level 17. This instantly adds a level of bureaucracy to the 'coven'. Your level 17 cohort as a level 15 cohort, who has a level 13 cohort, who has a level 11, who has a level 9, who has a level 7, who has a level 5. After this it's impossible, because you have to be level 7 to get leadership. Assuming the cohort underlings have goddamn high Charisma, plus the myriad bonuses of BEING A GODDAMN MAGICAL ARMY, multiply the 311 by 6 levels, max caster level of 1866-ish (now that Coven Caster adds a level of chance, this number isn't concrete). You and your legion of goose-stepping Changelings have transcended the gods. And again, this is assuming 1 PC acting alone; it's multiplicative with each party member. Now, there comes a point where you run out of Changelings (about 2 steps back), and them all being female slows the reproductive process a good bit. But still, this is how the Witch Nazis win.

Thanks for reading whatever the fuck this was! Revel in your filth.

[jadelwheel]

An Update

I was working on something, something big, but my computer is currently the favorite blow-up doll in a gremlin orgy. And I spent another week after that just trying not to talk about how pissed I was. I'm not going to move on, but now I've got to do all the math by hand. I'm trying to revel in my filth, I promise.

[jadelwheel]

Entry 10: Sneaky-Stabby

So as far as I can tell, there’s one thing that keeps rogues from out-powering everything, and that’s that sneak attack isn’t good enough. Sure, it’s a shitload of d6’s, but you know what? Alchemists get bombs that do as much damage, can be modded, and don’t have to be sneaking to use. And, they get a ton of shit that’s cooler than rogue talents. Sword Saint Samurais’ Iaijutsu Strike does as much damage, but has unique auxiliary effects, don’t have to be sneaking, and it adds on the abilities of an already powerful martial class. So what can we do? Either (A) roll up as a team of rogues and flank everything, (B) work closely with another player to make enemies flat-footed through various means, or © bump the damage through multiclassing, magic, and bullshit. We’re going to talk about C.

This group is all the classes/archetypes that get a sneak attack die at first level. •Rogue/Unchained Rogue •Ninja •Assassin •Sleepless Detective •Greensting Slayer Magus •Deep Sea Pirate •Master Spy •Snakebite Striker Brawler •Crimson Assassin •Eldritch Poisoner Alchemist •Vivisectionist Alchemist •Gray Gardener/Warden

Crimson Assassin cannot be taken alongside Deep Sea Pirate. The amount of levels you’d have to invest in a divine spellcastering class instead of more Rogue levels isn’t enough compensation so you can take the Gray Warden class. Eldritch Poisoner and Vivisectionist can’t overlap. You can’t take levels in both Rogue and Ninja with standard multiclassing, but can with variant multiclassing. However, the amount of feats required for all the prestige classes can’t be done with the 5 left over after variant multiclassing.

The level 20 layout: Assassin 1 / Sleepless Detective 1 / Greensting Slayer 1 / Master Spy 1 / Snakebite Striker 1 / Crimson Assassin 1 / Eldritch Poisoner 1 / Rogue 13. This gives you 14d6 for our sneak attack, opposed to 10d6 more levels in Rogue, and we get rogue talents, specifically the Bleeding Attack talent (+14 bleed damage) and the Deadly Sneak advanced talent (1s & 2s are treated as 3s for sneak attack damage).

Onto items. •Ring of Swarming Stabs (+1d6) •Scabbard of True Death (+ more bleed damage) •The Mantis Blade (+1d6) •Murderer’s Blackcloth (+ more bleed damage)

And traits: Blade of the Society and Briar Bandit both grant +1 damage per sneak attack dice.

So before stats are entered, we’re dealing 16d6+32+48 bleed damage. Good luck making a backstory.

Thanks for reading! Revel in your filth.

[jadelwheel]

Entry 9: 1-Level Dips (Part 2 - Base Classes)

Here we go again.

*Alchemist: Basic Spellcasting, Bomb 1d6, Brew Potion, Mutagen, Throw Anything; the extracts quickly fall behind, but 2 free feats, a 1d6 ranged attack, and a +2 to any physical ability score is pretty good. The archetypes are also the most varied, adding sneak attack and poisoning.

Cavalier: Challenge, Mount, Order, Tactician; A mount is always great, and the challenge and order features are flat +1 bonuses 1/day (you’ve burned a feat for less), and tactician is a free feat that you can give to your allies. Pretty solid.

Gunslinger: Firearm Proficiency, Grit, Gunsmith, Deadeye Deed, Gunslinger’s Dodge Deed, Quick Clear Deed; If you really want to use guns, and really don’t want to play a full gunslinger, or a gun-based archetype, this is typically better that taking Exotic Weapon Proficiency: Firearms.

Inquisitor: Basic Spellcasting, Domain, Judgment, Monster Lore, Stern Gaze; most Domains’ level 1 ability isn’t completely useless, Judgement is a +1 to 9 different types of rolls for one combat 1/day (also burned a feat for less), Monster Lore is goddamn great (adds Wis bonus to ALL Knowledge checks; most similar feats/traits affect 1 skill, or replaces the original modifier), and Stern Gaze certainly doesn’t hurt.

Magus: Basic Spellcasting, Arcane Pool, Spell Combat; as powerful as magus can get with a little effort, it sucks for a dip. All you really get is a free +1 enhancement to your weapon. You can do so much better.

Oracle: Basic Spellcasting, Mystery, Curse, Revelation; the Mystery/Revelation can get you a lot of strange little bumps and perks, but you take the full penalty of the curse, with none of the later benefits. Unless you’ve got a wheelchair handy, don’t bother.

Summoner: Basic Spellcasting, Eidolon, Life Link, Summon Monster; look back at how highly I consider an animal companion or familiar, eidolons are basically the best of both, with their own tricks.

*NOTE: The Synthesist Summoner archetype is clearly fantastic, especially if you’re low-level or in a noncombatant role, it gives you significant firepower.

NOTED NOTE: The level 1 Synthesist I played was a dinky little Elf most of the time, and a four-armed Predator monstrosity. I out-damaged the barbarian and fighter.

NOTE PRIME: Synthesists are banned from organized play. Will likely do another Entry on this at some point.

Witch: Basic Spellcasting, Hex, Patron, Familiar; some hexes and patrons can be useful, and all familiars get love here.

*NOTE - THE REVENGE: The Hex is really good if your party wants to do a minor version of the Coven of Infinite Bullshit, OR improve upon it, if everyone takes Leadership to pitch in.

These are an absolute bitch to do. I’ll do them all, eventually.

Thanks for reading! Revel in your filth.

[jadelwheel]

Entry 8: Cash Money

The party usually breaks the global economy. 1 gold = 10 silver = 100 copper. A commoner can make a few copper in a day, maybe a silver. A PC can make a few to a few hundred gold in a day. The only time gold is usually vital is… level one. So what’s the most you can get immediately after character creation?

If you take a drawback and the Additional Traits feat, you can get 5 traits. To my immediate knowledge, there's no feats for starting wealth, so here we go. Rich parents raises starting wealth to 900 gp (gold pieces). Chosen Child adds 900 gp. Child of Infamy adds another 300 gp and some skill bonuses, and Lesser Noble adds a further 100 gp and some skill bonuses. Duskwalker Agent DOUBLES STARTING WEALTH, and gives and 10% better prices in one market, (likely wherever you get your starting gear), effectively adding an extra 10%.

900+900+300+100=2200 gp. With Duskwalker Agent, you’re up to 4840 gp (X2, then X1.1). Go buy that magic dildo you’ve been wanting, you've got the funds for some decent wondrous items.

NOTE: Coin Holder raises your starting wealth to 500 gp, but requires you to be a Dwarf, and doesn't stack with Rich Parents. Brigand is basically Lesser Noble with different skill bonuses, but is harder to work into a backstory with the other traits. Pioneer gives you a horse and a skill bonus. The type of horse isn't listed, but the most expensive stock is worth 300 gp.

Thanks for reading! Revel in your filth.

[jadelwheel]

Entry 7: 1-Level Dips (Part 1 - Core Classes)

This took a lot longer to make than I expected. Here is the benefits if you take a 1 level dip in each class. The best ones, that benefit any build, are marked with an asterisk (*).

*Barbarian: Fast Movement, Rage; +10 ft. to your speed, +4 Str/Con in combat, solid at any level.

Bard: Basic Spells, Bardic Knowledge (+1), Bardic Performance (Countersong, Distraction, Fascinate); good at low levels, but quickly becomes obsolete.

Cleric: Aura (hindrance), Basic Spells, Channel Energy (1d6), 2 Domains; while never useless, a 1d6 heal falls behind, and most level 1 domain powers depend on your level.

*Druid: Basic Spells, Nature Bond, Nature Sense; Nature Sense is a static bonus, so it’s always good, but the domains from Nature Bond have the same problems as the Cleric. The animal companion cannot be overlooked however, as even though it won’t level up, it is effectively a free +1d6 to your damage per round, lowers the chance of hitting you in favor of the companion, and certain ones can serve as mounts as well (most can with the Undersized Mount feat).

Fighter: Bonus Feat; while never useless, but there are better options elsewhere. Only recommended if you are one feat off from a gimmick.

Monk: AC Bonus (Add Wis modifier to AC/CMD, only if unarmored), Flurry of Blows, Unarmed Strike, Stunning Fist, Bonus Feat (restricted); Basically gives you three free feats (four if unarmed; flurry functions as TWF), bumps your unarmed damage to 1d6, and the possibly useful AC bonus. Good for gimmick unarmed builds, and not terrible all-around.

Paladin: Aura of Good (serious hindrance), Detect Evil, Smite Evil; Detect Evil is always useful. Smite Evil is slightly useful at any level, but the main draw is that you bypass DR.

Ranger: Favored Enemy, Track, Wild Empathy; Wild Empathy is always useful, and Favored Enemy is never useless. However, it’s a lot less applicable than an ability score bonus, like rage.

Rogue: Sneak Attack (+1d6), Trapfinding; Sneak Attack is always decent, but it needs more investment to really shine.

Sorcerer: Basic Spells, Bloodline Power, Eschew Materials; pretty shit

Wizard: Basic Spells, Arcane Bond, Arcane School, Scribe Scroll; a familiar is decent, having a little buddy to do shit for you. Some of the school benefits are decent, most aren’t worthwhile.

So this is all the Core Classes. I plan to do all Paizo classes, including prestige, but fuck me there’s a lot of them

Thanks for reading! Revel in your filth.

[jadelwheel]

Entry 6: Gambler's Delight

Just a random, quick synergy here. A Half-Orc with the Sacred Tattoo alternate racial trait and the Fate's Favored faith trait gains a +2 bonus on all saves, at the cost of ferocity. Ferocity is definitely useful, but that +2 bonus reduces the chance of being brought to 0 hp in the first place. Just something for the mutts to think about. Thanks for reading! Revel in your filth.

[jadelwheel]

Entry 5: Furry's Focus

This is one of the most powerful feats I know of, as it replicates the central ability of a class. The Stalker’s Focus feat is described as follows.

"Your affinity to the natural world allows you to adopt the focus of a particular animal.

Prerequisites: Knowledge (nature) 3 ranks, Survival 3 ranks, no levels in a class that has the animal focus class feature.

Benefit: When you take this feat, choose one type of animal to emulate from those given in the hunter’s animal focus class feature. Once per day, you or your animal companion (if you have one) can gain the benefit of that animal focus for 1 minute. Treat your character level as your hunter level for the purpose of determining the benefits granted by your chosen animal focus."

So you can’t have multiple foci running at once like a Hunter, but the selected focus still increases as you level up. Basically, this feat is an automatic +2 to any one physical ability score, which upgrades to +4 and +6 at 8th and 15th level, respectively. Level 20 Orc Barbarian that rolled an 18 for Str, and bumps it at every opportunity. With this feat and rage, its Str would be 41, before any magic. With this feat, you can fucking out-wrestle the Tarrasque, out-shoot air elementals (if they wanted to shoot for some reason, they just have high Dex), or out-chug a herald for a dwarven god. There is no good reason to not take this feat, from a power standpoint.