jakecautheret

[jakecautheret]

Tadgh & Jacob

I think that’s really great news, but I can understand why it would take time to process. Are you a reader? Maybe good with your hands? I could recommend some books or teach you some tinkering or carpentry skills.

@tadghpairceir​

I wouldnt mind learning a skill. Im a surgeon and I free climb. So as long as the skill wont make me lose or break my fingers Im ok with trying a new thing. What do you have in mind?

[jakecautheret]

Lucie & Jacob

That’s wonderful news, though I know it must still be scary. Do you still have your Switch? There’s a new Zelda game out, and Luigi’s Mansion 3 comes out on Halloween!

@luciemoreau​

I do. I need to try playing it more. I usually play on breaks with kids bored in the hospital. What is Luigis Mansion 3? How have you been Lucie? Are you still doing the Comic Con thing?

[jakecautheret]

Elliot & Jacob

Are you a reader? There are a lot of really good books out there right now.

@elliotdixon​

I read medical journals. But I dont read many books as a hobby. I wouldnt mind a recommendation. What are you reading?

[jakecautheret]

nikita-cross‌:

Renting also limits what powers you have over the space.

That’s… depressing. How young?

Timing makes it sound like i’m waiting for someone else to kick the bucket before whoever is “ready for me.” I don’t wait around for anyone.

Does renting not allow you to adjust lighting or paint walls? Ive never had a studio. But assumed it was like an apartment and you could do what you wanted as long as it was painted and repaired when you left.

Its science. As a doctor you cant deny the reality that cancer tends to come back and more aggressively. Im hoping that I will get 5 or 10 years in remission. I would hope that im one of the lucky ones who gets a success story. But I was always very healthy with no family history and got it in the first place.

Then dont. Waiting is as exhausting as looking. Ive tried both.

Nikita & Jacob

[jakecautheret]

eittiedouglas‌:

‘The charming one? Really? Interesting.’ Eittie smiled a little, thinking back to the evening on the rooftop in New York with the Doctor. ‘That must make you the intelligent, kind, funny one, no?’ Taking the bottle back from him, she put it to her lips and sipped it. ‘I find a lot of people enjoy the labels of others, I suppose it provides a comfort for those who are only interested in the veneer of someone. I’ve been thinking a lot lately how truly uninterested most people are are digging past a few layers of another person. You must find that frustrating, to live in a family of impossible labels.’

‘You think I can eat in this dress?’ Eittie gestured down to her torso where the tight fabric clung to her body before spilling out in folds down past the tops of her thighs. ‘Liquid conforms to the mould, hors d'oeuvres do not. Besides… I was in rather a rush to get out of there in all honesty, which is how I’ve come to loose my shoes.’ raising her foot up ever so slightly she twinkled her toes playfully before holding the bottle out to him. ‘Would you like some?’

Eittie listened to him talk about his relationship and the confident way in which he seemed like he was getting his shit together and she smiled a little, recognising something in the way he was speaking, as if he was warding off some question or another. Studying his face for a moment, she weighed up whether it was the right thing to ask or not, but she knew how much sometimes she wanted someone else to care enough to ask her. ‘That all sounds wonderful and very positive, but I have to tell you it seems rather like the veneer I mentioned before. How are you really, Jake?’

“I dont think anyone in my family would use those words to describe me. If we had to put them to use then my cousin Diana is the smart one. Dianas brother is the funny one. I think kindness is a family trait. I also know several people that think Im the worst person in the world.” Jake shrugged away this stage of grief in his breakups. He had never really thought of what labels to place on himself. Or what labels his family might put on him. Maybe someone else would find her words a bit mean. Maybe they should sting. But she clearly understood the reality of his world. “I love my family. But being a doctor was never easy for me. Even when its difficult to constantly not meet anyones expectations I keep going. I could have been rebellious or fake. But I hope that they will always see Im trying my best. Everything I have accomplished professionally or as a hobby was through countless sleepless nights and dedication.”

 Jakes blue eyes moved across her body. “You look like you escaped from a movie.” He laughed quietly when she wiggled her toes. “Do you know what happens on the streets of London? Youre going to need someone to carry you home. If not for this” He took the drink for another quick sip before giving it back to her “But because of the shots you will need if your bare feet touch a sidewalk in this city.” 

He was genuinely surprised she really cared. Even when he was dating no one dug in until they thought he was dying. But he tried to give her a bit more of an honest answer. “I guess to understand how I really am you need a cliffnotes version of how I got here. When I started dating seriously. I was hoping to find this perfect person that would check a long list of boxes. I wanted the spark and romance. I wanted the long conversations. No one had really pushed me to step out of my comfort zone or made me feel like I could be a better person. But then I met these two amazing people and it fell apart. I got sick and put everyone and everything on the back burner. I didnt look like myself or feel like myself. time just kept going by and we were stagnant and I still couldnt bare to hurt either one of them. I have always had a bad habit of being indecisive. But severe anxiety makes it worse. I shut my phone off and dont leave the house. Its just me and my dog avoiding anything we have the opportunity to avoid.” Jake picked at the grass as he talked to Eittie. He looked over now and then. And every time he was surprised to see she hadnt fallen asleep from the bad punchline of his Hallmark show love story. “I met someone at work that seemed to be like both of the girls in many ways. But she was controlling and demeaning. It really messed with my confidence and my head. When I got out of that brief relationship I thought I was more clearheaded about needing to talk about my feelings. But when I tried to pull it together everything that could go wrong did.”

Jacob slumped into the grass and stared at the sky. “Its better this way. They can be happy and forget about all the time they wasted on an indecisive manchild. Im not that person anymore. Atleast Im trying not to be. I promised myself I would be more open with my feelings. My whole life has been so methodical: go to school, get good grades, be athletic, be a doctor, buy a house, find a wife and have two kids. But it never felt right to close myself off to one way of living. Its why I started free climbing. Thinking about it now it is probably the same reason that I was ok with certain sex acts and still calling myself a virgin. But Im not pure or innocent.” He made air quotes and sighed. “The long and short of it is that my heart still hurts. But Im meeting new people. Im being honest with them and with myself. And Im not afraid to not meet my family standards. If they want to see me as a bad Christian its their choice. But Im a good doctor and if anyone wanted to be my friend they would find that Im loyal. Im a romantic but Im no longer going to box myself into a naive belief that I cant be intimate with someone that isnt my wife. I want to be less anxious and less shy. If I feel a connection with a person Im not going to listen to my mothers voice in my head to leave room for Jesus.” He laughed at how childish the phrase sounded. So much had changed in the last month. He was somewhere between depression and acceptance. “A part of moving on means I dont think I can stay where I have been for the past few years. Theres a stress that comes with the uncertainty of knowing where I will be working in June 2020 or living. But Im working on treating that anxiety with the mindfulness of excitement.”

When he rolled onto his side and looked at the Scottish beauty he felt the familiar sense of guilt for taking up air. He had went on a long winded explanation of how he was trying to move forward and be positive. But ultimately she wasnt a teenager and thought that it would be safe to assume that some asshole had probably hurt her like he had hurt Maddie and Reyna. Jake couldnt help but wonder if thats why she Cinderellaed her way out of a wedding. “How are you really doing? You said you had to escape the wedding. But what about watching two people in love makes you feel like running?”

Eittie & Jake

[jakecautheret]

emilie-johannessen‌:

Oh, now I’m really interested! If you’re sharing pictures of your own then it’ll make for a good trip and an entertaining little picnic. Were you an odd one when you were little? Or were you more the adorable type?

Nope! Cross my heart and all, I’ll be fine. Just not a fan of it, but never passed out at the sight of blood. You won’t have to pick me up off the floor, I’ll be just fine.

Is that all? Just a bunch of weights and arm exercise? Can you imagine the giant guns I’ll have after all that work? I’ll be even more impressive. Watch out! Alright, but let’s really work up to it, because remember that I said I’m afraid of heights when my life’s in danger. I’d say free climbing likely falls in that category. I think if I can do regular climbing, where I’m not worried about falling to my death, I’ll get used to the idea of free climbing and then you’ll be able to drag me along. Some things are worth the effort, and if I can manage to work past my irrational fear, then even better. I’m excited to meet you too, it sounds like we’ll have plenty of adventure ahead.

Curiouser and curiouser. Alright, I won’t push you to answer.

Oh ha ha! I can’t help it if you’re incredibly tall! I’m pretty sure that 5′6″ is average height. Don’t be surprised if I ask for you to put me on your shoulders, I’d like to see what the world is like from the shoulders of someone so tall. Piggy back rides too, don’t be surprised if I ask for those as well. You’re just asking for it with all that height.

Arguably Im still the odd one. But my mom still thinks Im adorable. You may have to ask her. If you like meeting new people from all over the world my brother has Sunday dinners where a bunch of people meet up and hang out. We can bring whoever we want. You would fit in.

If you really do want to shadow me you can tag along to patient visits before and after surgeries. But I can send you to shadow the doctors with the cute kids in pediatrics while Im in surgery. Because you cant avoid blood as a surgeon. Especially as a heart surgeon.

Youll be able to pick up cars before you know it. A lot of places where people climb I can free climb. As long as you dont mind me doing my thing while you are on ropes. But I can do both. I dont think a fear of heights is irrational. A fear of spiders may be. But heights is natural. Its about survival. 

I think I can handle carrying you around. Unless youre catfishing me and are actually larger than I am.

Emilie & Jacob

[jakecautheret]

Today my doctor changed my appointments from every 2 months to every 6 months. I thought I would be relieved when he decided I was doing well enough for this step. I feel more stressed about it. Remission is a waiting game and now I have to wonder what Im missing in between. Now I need 6 months worth of distractions. Im accepting ideas. Anyone?

[jakecautheret]

daddydanielmarks‌:

Well, if the weather forecasts are to believed. But I think it plays in their favor. Between the rain, the sea, and the high winds, they’ve pretty much got the renewable energy sector locked down.

Oh you’re in San Diego? Tired of dressing up as a character every day? I kid. I’ve only ever been there during Comic-Con. No idea what the place is like outside of that. But those two options sound nice. Definitely the kind of place that’ll be good for surfing.

True. But it wont do much for my few hobbies of surfing, free climbing and jogging. 

I have been here for a few years. But Ive never been to Comic Con. I tried for a friend. But I dont do well in crowds like that and Im not as nerd as I seem. Have you lived all over?

[jakecautheret]

nikita-cross‌:

Apparently what I have to do is buy a studio space… Ugh spending money.

It has to be possible right? That person that’s made for us is also meant for someone else?

Would renting be more cost effective?

I dont know. Maybe? But I think I would rather think that its about timing. Statistically I will die young. And maybe that means I have a soulmate who has another soulmate because they will find someone else after I die? Im not usually a bit optimist. But I would hope that’s how that works.

Nikita & Jacob

[jakecautheret]

madeleine-scott‌:

Good to know. It’s alright, it’s understandable really. It’s all my fault, and I can’t blame you if you were uncomfortable with the idea in the end. I kind of made a big mess of things. I’m glad that you’ve met someone who makes you laugh, you certainly deserve that very, very much. What do you mean, you’re not really sure what you bring to the table? I’d like to grab lunch, though. I’m free tomorrow afternoon, if that works for you? Otherwise, maybe Friday might be the next best day for me. It really all depends on your schedule, I’m sure you’re the busier one. How are the fellowship applications going? Well, I hope? I should travel more, I’ve still been pretty awful about that. Oh, you know me… I work a lot, and then I work some more, and when I’m exhausted from work I go climb, or hide at the beach.

Its not your fault or my fault. I wanted you to be happy. But I needed to adjust to the reality that it wasnt with me. As long as youre happy I can live with not being honest sooner then I should have. 

I meant that shes this intelligent, funny and carefree person. She isnt afraid to be honest or herself. But Im this shy awkward person that couldnt be invisible to save his life and has anxiety when I do get noticed. Im not smart. But I work hard to be good at my job. Im not talented. But I work hard to be good at my hobbies.

Tomorrow can work. Do you want to pick a place between our jobs? The applications are going well. I have a few interviews scheduled in the upcoming months. Its still very early to pick. But the application process is long. Im hoping to find a place with good climbing and surfing. But a good program has to come first. Are you looking at changing zoos? I guess I assumed you would be travelling more to see Dominic. 

Jake and Maddie || 9-Sept

[jakecautheret]

elias-navarro‌:

It was a good trip home. I don’t feel like I go often enough, but I’m always happy when I do. I’ve got a good family behind me, I’m a lucky man. I do stay pretty busy in Miami, though, you’re right. HA! Alright, if you’re worried about your dancing skills, then we won’t do that. I think you’re getting merengue mixed with meringue. But yeah, let’s get some drinks, I’m good for that. Where would you like to meet for drinks? You can come to Miami, or we can go wherever else.

Is work usually the reason you dont get out much? I say that it is for me. But Im slowly coming to terms with the reality that if Im not intentionally out climbing I am a homebody or whatever the word is. Im a chronic introvert. Even my hobbies keep me isolated.

I wouldnt know the difference between a merengue and a meringue if I tried. My dancing and cooking skills are still at a college level. I still have some growing up to do. But Im happy to come to Miami. I dont get out enough and Ive heard good things. Unless you want to travel and see a new place?

Jake & Elias || 11-Sept

[jakecautheret]

thereynasantos‌:

Well I’m glad it took you such a short amount of time to get over that even if it technically makes you a liar now. We were never friends, you never really tried to be my friend, and you certainly don’t get to decide that you want to be friends now. 

After what you said to me and how you made me feel, I’m the one who gets to choose if you ever get to be my friend and when that will happen. That isn’t now. I’m still sorting through the mess. You might be clear of it but I’m not. I’m trying really hard to move on and get out from under all the emotional wreckage I was left with. I’m not strong enough to even thing about allowing you back into my life right now. I just got something that might be really good for me. I need to focus on that.

Believe whatever lies you want if it will help you sleep at night. But I have enough self-worth to respect my time and my sanity to not feed into childish petty behavior and manipulation. Youre not going to get to twist my words and make make me look like a monster. Clearly keeping my distance from you was the right choice. You wont ever hear from me again.

Reyna & Jacob | September 8th

[jakecautheret]

orion-edwards‌:

“I’m sure they’ve seen stranger things than us.” Orion commented as he stepped into the pub after Jacob. “Back and forth between meetings and conferences for work has left me discovering a little more of London than I’ve ever known before.” He looked around opting for a table that had a little more room around it to compensate for the sheer amount of leg and elbow room the two men were going to need between them. “I like the atmosphere of english pubs. They’re quiet mostly unless there is a soc… football match on.” 

Jake nodded. “Have you been thinking about getting out of Scotland for a city or did you have enough of that in Los Angeles?” Jacob didnt blink at the correction from soccer to football. He had lived so long in the US that he hardly missed a beat with all of the other pronunciations and words. He even found himself using some of them when he was at work. “Do you have a favorite part of London yet? Ive always preferred Camden. But maybe its my travel bug that loves the diversity of the place.” Jake flipped through a menu and made a selection and ordered a beer. “Are you trying to get into football now that youre on this side of the Atlantic?”

Orion & Jake

[jakecautheret]

emilie-johannessen‌:

Consider it done! I’ll bring all of my embarrassing photos for us to look through, and we’ll both get a good laugh. I haven’t looked at them in ages.

Well, you can guarantee I’ll sign a paper that says I won’t involve myself in patient care, and I definitely won’t get the wild urge to stick my hand into any person’s chest cavity. I’ll leave all that to you and the other professionals. I have to admit, blood is not my favorite, so I’m not likely to stick my hand anywhere near it unless it’s absolutely necessary. I won’t pass out, but there’s a reason I went into working with numbers instead of the medical field, like you.

I’m not very strong, you’ll have to get a look at my noodle arms, and you’ll see that free climbing might not be the best idea for me. I think some traditional climbing where I can secure my weak little self and make sure I don’t go flying to the ground is for the best. I’ll try to work on lifting some weights and make my arms really impressive before we decide to climb. Norway will prove itself completely worthy of all the praise I’ve given it, I assure you.

Ooooh, I feel like I’m being tested, and if I answer wrong I might get a judgey face from you. I’m ready to try both tacos and burritos. I’d really like to know what this means for me once I’ve made my choice.

Nice and tall, I see! I’m 5′6″, which is no shrimp where ladies are concerned, but you’re just a couple of inches taller than me… only a couple.

Im looking forward to it. Ill either have to get mine from my mom or she can send them to me in a text. But I will make sure I have them by the time we meet.

Are you going to faint at the sight of blood Emie?

You will have to start lifting weights or doing press ups. Im going to take you free climbing eventually. But we can work up to it. Im excited to meet  you. Its been a while since I met someone that wants to climb.

I cant answer that. It would ruin the moment.

Wow! You are almost a foot smaller. I was probably your height when I was 12. But your not short. Im pretty sure 5′6 is normal. Isnt it?

Emilie & Jacob

[jakecautheret]

daddydanielmarks‌:

I’ve seen some waves in Scotland that you could surf on. But I suppose they’re not as reliable as elsewhere. And the weather definitely isn’t decent most of the time. 

Oh, it’s always been a tense situation in Ireland for as long as I can remember. If it’s happening, it’s happening out of the public eye for now, as far as I’m aware. 

Thats a nice way to put it. I believe my cousins said it rains more than it doesnt.

Oddly I havent been to Ireland many times. The more I think about it the more Im just ready to move out of San Diego. But Im not ready to move close to my parents again. Australia or Hawaii will probably win if I get job offers from there.

[jakecautheret]

daddydanielmarks‌:

Scotland seems to be doing good these days since they went independent, but the rest of the UK seems to be falling apart. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Irish decided to leave and re-unify with the Republic.

You from the UK too, then?

I want to be somewhere with decent weather and good surf. Scotland isnt the right fit for me other then being close to home. How likely do you think that is for Ireland? Is that something their government is in talks about?

[jakecautheret]

emilie-johannessen‌:

I assure you that’s exactly what they thought I looked like! Remind me to show you pictures sometime. They’re terrible, but then you’ll understand. Would you really let me shadow you at work? Is that allowed? You’re not going to get yourself into trouble if I’m following you around work just so I can catch one of these moments, are you? Can I just say that if your career were actually like Grey’s Anatomy, House, or ER, I would be genuinely concerned for healthcare.

Honestly, I’ll try my best, but don’t be too disappointed if I’m struggling! Also, I’m afraid of heights, but only when my life’s in potential danger. I bungee jumped once, and that just about terrified me, but standing on a cliff and just looking out at the horizon? That’s fine. It’s when I look down that things start getting a little terrifying. Still, Norway has such incredible views, that I can’t help but overcome that little bit of my fear of heights.

Perfect! Then I won’t worry too much where fish is concerned. And I’m not the best camper, but I can squeak on by. I did it when I did the big 4 day hike here. I’m telling you, it’s worth it. I have no idea if I’m a taco or burrito girl, I’ve had neither. I do like a little bit of spice, and I’m fine with all the drinks. I’m very flexible. Not at all picky.

I’ll try my very best to stay at normal proportions, but with all your compliments, I make absolutely no promises. How tall are you? I’m genuinely curious.

Bring them on our hike. We can laugh about them on our picnic with a view.

Shadowing is allowed. We even have schools that do field trips. High schoolers taking human anatomy can come watch the heart surgeries in the gallery. There is a little bit of paperwork involved. But its not trouble. Its mostly your word that you wont present yourself as a doctor or involve yourself in the patients care. As long as you dont stick your hand in a chest cavity my job security will be intact.

I free climb. Its not safe if you dont know what youre doing. But we can climb traditionally if that is what your more comfortable with. Im very excited to see Norway. You talked it up alot.

We will have to do both so you can decide if you prefer tacos or burritos. You dont really know yourself until you know the answer to that question. 

Im not sure how tall I am. I was 6′3″ last time I was measured. But my brother Matthias is 6′4″ and Im at least 1-2 inches taller than he is now. I would say 6′5″ is the safe answer. How about you? 

Emilie & Jacob