jamesofalltrades

[jamesofalltrades]

A hibiscus flower under ultraviolet light, shining for the polinators.

[jamesofalltrades]

the sacred fruit 🍋🍑🍇

[jamesofalltrades]

Starry night petunias, gorgeous under the ultraviolet light.

[jamesofalltrades]

HELP I have to apply to another grant today, and I don't know which of these books would sound most palatable to the Canadian government.

Choggeloth the Undying Makes a Friend is a horror-comedy, projected to be 80k words upon completion. It has the humour of Prosper’s Demon, and the grotesquery of Walking Practice. Mary is tired and sick. Her kitten, Donnie, is also tired and sick. But, to fulfill a social obligation to Mary’s boyfriend, they find themselves in a cabin in the woods among a group of near strangers. That alone would be a challenge; unfortunately, this particular Airbnb was built over the site of an ancient murder, with the demon who orchestrated it still hanging around. Fortunately, this demon loves cats! What follows is a straining of social boundaries, as Mary pushes for recognition of her illness. The boundaries of time and space also get fairly strained because, you know, the demon.  Will Mary be able to communicate her needs to her boyfriend? Will she finally receive the support she needs? Will anyone survive the weekend? And will the dog people die first? The answer to that last one is definitely yes.

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Summoned to a Fantasy World... but I'm an Alien?! is a science fantasy novel, projected to be 90k words upon completion. It has the humour of Long Live Evil, and the genre mash-up of How to Become the Dark Lord or Die Trying.

Us versus them. That’s how it’s always been for Protactinium-231, a body-snatching slug from outer space. But when a truck runs him over during his invasion of earth, he finds himself transported to a fantasy world, one where summoned ‘princes’ lead armies, and the demon lord’s forces threatens humanity.

Protactinium-231 doesn’t know what to make of this. Frankly, he’s shocked. And more alone than he’s ever been - separated from his alien troops, it is no longer us versus them. It’s him, versus everyone. That is, until he comes across a captured monstrosity, half spider and half man, whose rugged good looks and glistening chitin inspire a whole new set of feelings. The demon lord’s army is closing in, and the human forces are growing suspicious of this oddly behaving ‘prince’ from another word, but Protactinium-231 finds himself more invested in flirting with a spider. It will be terribly hard to solve all his problems. But at least, he’s no longer doing it alone.

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a third book made up entirely for the purpose of being palatable: hrnnngggg I dunno, maybe a clay homunculus losing pieces of itself as a clumsy metaphor for chronic pain? and it can have something to do with Ontario, because the Ontario government fucking loves Ontario for some reason? :(

[jamesofalltrades]

@1kazul

Milky Way and Trees 2

[jamesofalltrades]

“She can make babies for me” “and I can’t?! I can’t :(((((“ is such an insane fucking line to give troy while wanting me to sit here and believe he’s into britta. What the fuck were they thinking.

[jamesofalltrades]

You didn’t mention he was scrumdiddlyumptious

[jamesofalltrades]

it's his BIGGEST stick yet!!!

[jamesofalltrades]

the neighbour's tree drops a lot of shit on the catio, and it makes Pangur look so disadvantaged. she ends up with so many leaves and twigs piled on her after a nap

[jamesofalltrades]

kittens are amazing bc they're like what if a wayward ball of lint was also made of knives

[jamesofalltrades]

a proliferation of @intriga-hounds

[jamesofalltrades]

Hey, I just wanted to show you this moth I found in my yard. According to Google lens, this is a reticulated fruitworm moth!

Also, I love your blog. Seeing all the bug things makes me happy :)

ooooh!!! what a cutie!!!

[jamesofalltrades]

my beautiful darling baby girl sena: hello mama. it seems you are going to bed. will 13 pounds of baby concentrated on your titty help.

me: not really but thanks for asking.

my lovely fluffy behemoth of a daughter: wrong answer. one million headbutts attack

[jamesofalltrades]

Weird pinecone

[jamesofalltrades]

Art by JenPanepinto

[jamesofalltrades]

oysters

[jamesofalltrades]

Love putting salmon in awkward situations (my old and new salmon artworks)