jamiechr

[jamiechr]

©

[jamiechr]

sabrina.

( ... ) 

sabrina gets into the car, starts the ignition. she points to the glove compartment, like she’s telling jamie to reach in and get something. the feeling of being so close to someone that you can speak without speaking. next to it, the feeling of being so needed that people start to fear how much they need you pales ghost-white. being with her feels like living. jamie is the last breath of air in sabrina’s lungs when all the world ever does is suffocate her. if that sounds like a lovesick eighteen-year-old’s creative writing assignment, that’s because it is. she submitted that paper in just a month ago. cryptic as possible and so indirect-object. she got a 98 on it.

sabrina, you don’t stay alive by needing anything. but sabrina doesn’t have it in her yet to sacrifice living for being alive. she doesn’t have it in her yet to comply. she has it in her to be afraid, but jamie always makes her too brave. ( although, really, that’s not saying much. )

inside the compartment: a classic brown monogrammed louis vuitton card holder. inside the card holder: her driver’s license. 

the windows are dark, making afternoon look like night. sabrina eases them into the road. “my picture’s pretty, right?” she says at a red light.

  you don’t make homes out of people. it’s one thing she’s learned constantly. you don’t make homes out of people because people are the most uncertain future. you don’t make homes out of people because if there’s one skill each person has , it’s leaving. you don’t make homes out of people because when they do leave , you’re left with pieces that amount to nothing. you’re left with loose bricks and broken wood that never quite returns to how it used to be. 

   it’s the last valuable lesson her parents taught her. 

   it’s one that kept her safe for years. let people get close to you but don’t ever let them into you , it’s the only way. but this is jamie , and for jamie cynicism came with a grain of salt. life’s way of unfolding and her way of living in constant battle. it happened with her adoptive parents. it being the girl wanting to be unimaginably happy at the second chance of her new life and let strangers in without a second thought , call them the people she’d now trust. but... remember , you don’t make homes out of people. 

     and then suddenly you’re standing the face of a person who’s making you question every thing you believe in and then what do you do? --- you start smiling and genuinely feeling the happiness from it for the first time in a long time , of course. the burden of hurt barely at the back-burner because you’re too focused on living this new life with these new principles and you’re having a blast. 

     messaged received and jamie’s excitedly reaching for the mystery in the glove compartment --- is it weird to point out how everything involving the girl with her had jamie buzzing? is it weird to say that sabrina breathed realness into her life? ... is it weird to think about how her previous black and white life fell short in comparison to the rose-colored one she brought with her? is it... weird to say that she never wanted to go back to it?

      a wide smile that only grows when eyes zero in on the card , particularly the piece of art that resided in it and jamie nods without missing a beat. “ the prettiest picture i’ve ever seen on a driver’s licence , i feel like the people at the driver’s test place are gonna’ frame this one and put it up , y’know? they know it’s the best picture ever been taken. ” she gushes and you’d imagine something like this was only spoken with sarcastic connotations , the exaggeration of it all --- but , for her.. it was still underwhelming , if anything... and that’s jamie for you. 

      taking the advantage of the red light , the older quickly reaches over the console and places a rushed kiss on her girlfriend’s cheek before returning to her seat and being completely inconspicuous. looking out window , a little innocent whistle.. yeah , she didn’t do anything. --- okay so , the restrained smile and glances were not as discreet. “ sorry.. sorry , i just... you looked so cute i couldn’t help myself. i mean , i just realised that this total catch in this picture , ” she spoke , lifting the card up and pointing to said picture as if she was showing to her for the first time “ is my girlfriend?? --- i’m super lucky , aren’t i? ”

     you don’t make homes out of people.... but maybe we won’t tell anyone about this. about how along with every ounce of reluctance that sabrina shattered... she also managed the break that one rule. she made jamie.. the person who never needed anything , not even from her own parents , beg on her knees for a simple request. 

     don’t leave. don’t leave because i made the stupid mistake of making a home out of you. 

[jamiechr]

MATTHEW:​

strawberry swing ; 

( ... )

clap. clap. clap — the sound shocks matthew. he jolts in place and almost drops his golf club. jesus, that’s 10,000 won, he scolds himself out of embarrassment, mostly because nothing, or nobody, should be able to surprise him.

he glares at the girl standing a little too close for his taste. she seems familiar and, uh… annoyingly cute.

taking a step back, he asks, “can i help you?”

     what even is golf? no really , what is the point of golf? who came up with this game , jamie wants to talk. how do you expect her to hit this tiny ball in a tiny hole so far away she can’t even see it?? okay so maybe jamie’s not good at it and now she’s just making excuses because she’s never not been at least half decent at a sport. humph. 

     the funnest part about golf? riding the little cart of course. she’s taken a self-appointed break from her father and his business friends who do business things over golf and make business jokes --- not that that was the boring part , jamie thankfully understands the business part of it -- what she doesn’t appreciate is the condescending laugh that comes with each shot she takes. you could practically see her father’s disappointment. easier than it is to see the damn hole at least. 

     although , she was all smiles because this meeting was important , these clients were important and jamie really needed to impress them , or she needed to prove to her father again but we won’t go there. but --- her mind was about to explode and a little break would’ve done wonders. so she excuses herself , takes the cart and goes for a drive. it’s no fast and furious but with every second there was distance being put between them and jamie was already enjoying the sport more.  

     a sudden halt as a fellow player comes into view and she’d swear the man was familiar. either way , now that looked like someone who could play. he just.. fit. the stance , the wind up and the drive.. he knew what he was doing. she follows him to watch the completion of the shot and claps almost unknowingly when the ball finds its place. 

     “ oh--- oh!! i’m so sorry!! ” rushing closer , she places a hand on his arm to help calm him from the admittedly ill-placed claps. “ i didn’t mean to scare you , i was just watching you play and you looked really good --- and you’re not even old! uhh , not that i thought you’d be.. just that.. i haven’t met anyon--- wait , matthew? oh my gosh , right!! matthew choi.. from hannam? wow , i never thought we’d meet again in a golf...court? pitch? area...? anyway!! ” she takes a step forward to cover up his step away. “ it’s so nice to see you again , how’ve you been? ”

[jamiechr]

HYERIN:

to stay in your arms forever

( ... ) 

she reached over once again, her hand finding itself brushing a lock of jamie’s hair behind her ear. “i think a nice plum color would look good on you.” hyerin’s eyes fell to gaze at jamie’s lips. one last kiss. then maybe hyerin would be able to have the closure she desired. jamie would never have to see her again– at least that’s what hyerin convinces herself.

her hand pulls away, and so does the rest of her. yet another missed opportunity.

“i’ve missed you.” hyerin blurts out. the tone in her voice remained soft, almost as if she was internally pulling herself back from proclaiming any of this. “we should get together more, just me and you.”

    a perplexing paradox that jamie was yet to understand. her capabilities of hurting the people she wanted to protect the most -- the people she loved the most. those are the words that keep her up at night , you’re too good , jamie. no one deserves you , jamie. you’re too nice , jamie. --- no , jamie’s a fraud. jamie’s reverse midas touch ruining everything that it comes in contact with wasn’t something they deserved.. wasn’t something she deserved. 

     but does hyerin know? does she know that jamie’s aware of the smile that isn’t sincere? she should , shouldn’t she? it’s only natural after her mind had spent every waking moment doing it’s best in learning everything there is to know about her , trying to decipher every little glance and every little breath. maybe her mind was just an endless loop of hyerin! hyerin! hyerin! , and jamie’d wonder if it would ever tire. she says she doesn’t think so. 

       “ that’s good.. i’m glad you’re liking it here..” she smiled , truly happy with the thought that she was doing okay. hoping that she always was. -- maybe if jamie fell on her knees and sobbed and begged for forgiveness over and over again , would that provide any sort of catharsis? or would she really have to devise a plan to completely cut it off? let hyerin go and end her torment , end the struggle she was causing. it’s just the thought that causes her grip around the glass to tighten so forget actually being able to do it. 

     maybe.. someday she’ll be able to do it. maybe someday she’ll be able to stop being so damn selfish. but for now , she’s laughing and nodding before setting her own glass down after a big sip. “ of course i will! but hey, new line.. of... lip gloss.. that’s.. exciting...” her words spaced when she feels the fingers brush against and jamie tries really hard not to , but leans into the touch. almost doesn’t notice hyerin’s gaze shift. wishes she didn’t because now her own slips and that’s never good. 

      it makes her think about their last kiss. arguments were always hushed with lips on lips and she truly wishes things were different , that there wasn’t a need to avoid confrontation , that she could just bare her soul and not be afraid of the consequences. ---- but god was she terrified. jamie knew the last day she’d see hyerin would be the day all the cards were on the table and as we’ve established.. the woman’s very selfish. 

     either way , their last kiss shouldn’t have gone that way and how easy would it have been to reach closer and correct it. this time it’d be one with love and yearning and passion and honesty and one that’d tell her , ‘ hyerin-ah , i hope you know that you still have my heart.. and i hope you know that i never want it back. ’ 

     but then she loses the touch and it’s embarrassing how her face inches slightly closer , trailing after it when actions come to a complete halt at the following words. jamie just looks like a deer caught in headlights , eyes wide and all. how could this wonderful woman commit the sin of falling in love with jamie? hyerin deserved the world and here she was barely able to give her a moment of truth. the thought wrecks her. 

      “ i’ve missed you too. ” it’s an amalgamation of everything happened so far.. or maybe it’s just the alcohol but jamie scoots closer , one hand reaching over to settle on her cheek. “ so much. ” she whispers finally before moving forward and letting her other hand do the same to encompass the other’s face -- just like that her whole world fit into the palm of her hands. the objective isn’t clear but it feels nice , feels like the the first day of spring and jamie takes a breath of the clean fresh air for the first time in a long time. maybe that’s why her eyes well up , maybe it’s cause she’s happy.. yeah , that sounds better than her heart was breaking with each passing second and resolve was along with it. eyes shut to hide the sheen and she’s moved close enough that their foreheads touch , “ hyerin..” the whispered name is enough for her lips to spread in a small smile but it doesn’t stay for too long.. “ hyerin-ah... i know i don’t deserve this. i know. but.. but will you let me be selfish this one last time? ” 

[jamiechr]

NABI:

it’s hard to think straight when every fiber in your being thrums with want, settling upon her skin like an itch she can’t scratch, the supple nature of jamie’s lips gradually edging the sensation into need, a fervent hunger. her heart picks up speed, battering against her rib cage, and nabi doesn’t realize how crucial the state of her lungs were until the older throws her into a state of disorientation with the way she suddenly parts from her. the labored breathing is the only sound picked up within the hushed ambiance of the room aside from jamie’s exclamation, and it causes eyelids to flutter open in response, eyebrows raising. she’s confused, upset, wants to protest like a child who’s toy was harshly taken away ⏤ but the other is the first to speak, to explain, and the more she does, the more nabi’s attitude changes for the better.

( ... ) 

   it isn’t fair. nothing about this is fair... but in the best possible way. if it’s a test , jamie’s... well , she’s never been a straight a’s student so what’s another f? how cruel to think of morality in a such a convenient matter , but besides what everyone believes to be true ; jamie’s never really been the angelic and inlined persona that surrounds her reputation. because this? there’s nothing nice about this. nothing nice in the way eyes darken at her words and nothing nice in the way legs were giving out at her touch.. nothing nice in the way jamie was willing to get on her knees for more reason than one. 

   praise like this hardly ever came but the way nabi’s intention made the words sound , jamie was already a goner. ironic how she was being recognised for the one thing she was doing such a horrible job at. but she’s still her in the very core and it’s the following sentence that has her eyes bravely look into the other’s , a verbal acknowledgment of sorts that the message was heard loud and clear. although she never knew , never knew of this unspoken trust that sat between them and any further questioning silenced in a very effective way. but this time it’s jamie who’s chasing after , those goddamn lips the air in her lungs and she’d just gotten used to breathing before they were taken away. 

    the secret was out , there was no playing coy , no pretending like the bar owner hadn’t thought of what it’d be like having nabi above her , below her , anywhere just on her. but the sight was prettier than her imagination had the possibility of conjuring up and she’s taking it all in , letting nabi have control while allowing herself the moment of weakness , the moment to observe. she feels her skin as digits trace up to reach their final destination and jamie’s breath hitches at the sensation. yeah that definitely would’ve been something to regret.. a crime really , if jamie had walked out the door without watching nabi slowly wither under touch. 

    it would’ve been so easy to give her the more her body was craving , to give into the demands , but remember.. we said that jamie isn’t that nice. there was someway payback had to come. payback for nabi just being unapologetically nabi in front of her , the goddamn tease she was while keeping the bartender at arms’ length all along. eyes dilated to the point where whites barely peaked through and she looked right back into hers , there wasn’t hesitation anymore , just a sort of pent up lust chipping away that kicked into overdrive with each word. 

    fingers pressing into silk panties... ruined silk panties as jamie’s lips finally curve into a smirk. “ you really made me wait for a long time for those words. ” she breaks her silence as the other hand moves to settle at the crook of her neck , gently coaxing her through the teasing touch that pushed into her centre with each second. a small laugh at the final declaration and jamie’s shaking her head while the other hand momentarily abandons its task and completes the gentle grip on her neck. “ aw , that’s okay baby... ” before words could continue , jamie tugs her down and lets their lips meet again. this particular kiss not like the others , this particular kiss where jamie takes over the situation and demands control. it’s messy but just enough , distracting but just enough.. to have them roll over until the older woman sits on top. 

    the kiss breaks as jamie pulls away with nabi’s lesser lip between her own teeth this time , only to let go and soothe the pain with gentle strokes from her thumb. “ soon , i don’t think you’ll be able to do much talking anyway. ” nabi looked gorgeous from every angle , really.. but this view -- it had to be the older woman’s favourite. hands wanted to take their own time to explore , slipping under the fabric of top to let fingers gently rake against her skin while lips trail kisses along her jawline and down to her neck. it’s slow , it’s painfully teasing and it’s something jamie basks in. “ although... i never thought i’d get the opportunity of hearing the jung nabi beg me to fuck her. ” her voice reaches a new low as she whispers beside her ear. if jamie could’ve held out any longer , she would’ve but actions take the lead as her hand reaches down to do undo her skirt , slide it down low enough for fingers to comfortably slip past the so-called barrier and reach the infamous centre she was almost introduced to earlier. digits moving almost too easily between the slickness on the folds. “ don’t hold back on me , okay my pretty butterfly? i wanna hear everything. ”

[jamiechr]

──   halfway to the end  back in senior year with : @chrsab  !!

    high school love. ---- it’s dumb and stupid and childish and everyone wants one. apparently for good reason too , because jamie here? well she hasn’t stopped smiling ever since hers walked into her life. god knows why the prettiest girl in school chose a fumbling.. teddy bear at best , but it’s done now and jamie wasn’t letting go. no take-backs!!

     in class and she’s thinking about her , back at home and she’s thinking about her , lost between guitar strings and she’s thinking about her.. even at basketball practice and she’s thinking about he--- ouch!! right.. ball to the head was what it took to realise that she’s at practice. -- ‘ yah !! you paying attention captain?? ’  she is , okay. she is. well.... that’s until she hears her phone go off with a personalised little noise , one that dinged with a text jamie couldn’t have possibly ignored. it’s funny how the basketball captain would’ve been thinking about her girlfriend all day only to call it fate when she actually hears from her. 

      perfect timing ( not really , they pretty much knew each other’s schedules at this point ) when sabrina says nothing more than a meet me in the parking lot away from our school after practice , but it’s enough to get jamie excited.. because , well.. jamie. one shower later , she’s in her jeans and oversized t-shirt , the varsity jacket that was usually paired with this outfit probably sitting on another set of shoulders and had to be replaced with a leather jacket of her own --- a particularly cold september this year , hmm. 

      skip to the important part , skip to sabrina leaned against an expensive looking car ( somehow managing to look way more expensive ) , skip to jamie’s dopey grin at the sight of her.. maybe skip past the part it takes a minute for her brain to register the situation. “ hey babe---- WOAH !! what is that???!?! --- i mean i know it’s a car but.. it’s yours??? no freaking way. ” all this happens in the time jamie takes to cover the distance and first it’s always a quick inconspicuous kiss and a ‘ i missed you.. ’ before she actually takes a lap around the automobile , gasping at the slightest of things. 

        “ it looks so cool and totally matches your vibe , y’know? ” the girl is back where she started with hands on the other’s waist , taking full advantage of the mostly empty parking lot with distance playing a minimal role now. “ it looks almost as good as you do... almost. ” told you.  sabrina’s the fuel that jamie’s mind runs on and it’ll always come back to it.. always. “ --- so... where are we going? ”

[jamiechr]

dare 💕

    i. probably one of the first true friends jamie made after she was adopted and although it started off with just awkwardly hanging around at either of their parents' parties , the two actually grew closer with time and jamie was just so thankful that she wasn't left alone in this whole new world. it was easy to say that taehyun helped a lot when it came to jamie getting accustomed to her new life. now that she thinks about it , wonders how taeyhun would've probably found her awkwardness a little odd considering he didn't know about just how new everything was to her.

    ii. taeyhun was jamie's first "dating-experience" and admittedly.. they looked super cute together. while it wasn't love or anything , the woman wouldn't have hesitated in admitting that she used to have feelings for him back then and even if it didn't last long , jamie wouldn't ever want to forget it. the awkward yet cute hand-holding and shy kisses still made her fondly smile.

    iii. they had a lot more in common than initially thought which made their bond stronger if anything. taehyun was probably the first person jamie "came-out" to and was actually just really really nervous but when he talked about himself too , she definitely let out a big sigh and gave him a big hug.

    iv. their transition from girlfriend and boyfriend to just good friends was actually smoother than she thought it'd be. maybe it was the realisation that their relationship had been just that all along... yes with a few additional perks and occasional butterflies because if nothing, taehyun was definitely a great boyfriend. but also an amazing friend.

    v. jamie used to often wonder what would've happened if they hadn't broken up.. their parents would've certainly been beyond excited and would've already started the marriage fund. and to be fair , it would've been a pretty good-ending. they would've been high-school sweethearts and would admittedly have had cute babies and life would've made sense. -- although that didn't happen , jamie's still rooting for taeyhun to find his true happy ending.

[jamiechr]

NEW POST !!

@thelocalbartender said: long time no see-lfie? 😂 🙈

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[jamiechr]

SEOHA:

( ... )

her grip tightened as she held onto jamie, the other hand reaching forward to brush a few strands of hair out her face. she was beautiful. and seoha wanted to see everything. 

she could hear jamie’s breathing hitch, paralleling hers, as she sealed the proximity. that was when she actualized the height difference; she was a lot taller, more than she had expected. and somehow, that made it all the more better, how the other fit snuggly under her chin, a figure made specifically for hugging. eyes dropped to the familiar curve of jamie’s lips as her hand then slid down the back to curl around her waist, pressing their bodies together and against the hard edge of the kitchen island.

“you know,” seoha murmured, “aside from breakfast, i can still think of a couple of ways to make this a perfect morning.” 

   she simply nods and follows , words probably wouldn’t have been the best thing in that moment anyway -- not unless jamie would’ve wanted to dive headfirst into making a fool of herself and whisper things like that it was pretty much unfair how the woman looked so good the morning after and how breakfast sounded great but jamie’d rather be eatin--- cut!! cut!! let’s not go there. she can’t go there right now. 

    so her gaze wanders , first it was fixed on their interlocked fingers and now it was doing it’s best to follow the directions and while picking up ingredients with her idle hand , the little smile on the emphasis of chocolate chips as she finally looked over. didn’t look away after that. 

     gaze moves upwards to meet hers as the distance closed in and jamie took her time now. there was no booze hindering her vision and dim lighting stopping her from admiring. it’s how every little detail is put under a magnifying glass and the bar owner wants to spend hours on every single little one. almond shaped eyes so perfectly crafted , it reminded her of last night when they narrowed so thin every time jamie made a dumb joke and she laughed. her cheekbones and jawline a work of art jamie’d say , so well crafted that it didn’t feel real until her hands encompassed them. the cutest nose you’d ever seen and lips... 

      well her train of thought was so wonderfully interrupted when she feels digits brush against her and jamie unknowingly leans into the touch , smiles warmly as eyes find hers again. but then , her breath hitches again and she finds stability in griping the front of her shirt as they meet in the middle and press into each other. seoha speaks and suddenly jamie’s objectives are clear , yes it takes a moment to recover from the whisper but then she’s smirking. hands unfortunately leaving her for a moment as they firmly grip onto the counter behind , a quick subtle lift and now their height difference lies in her court. 

        a little raise of her eyebrows as she pulls seoha in close again , hands wrapped around her waist and legs on each side of her. lips close enough to ghost over hers , an accidental touch here and there as hushed words continue , “ yeah? well , i’m listening... ” a horrible tease , really but jamie moves past her lips only to leave a gentle kiss on her jawline , and then another , and then another , and now she’s down on her neck where the kiss didn’t seem as delicate anymore. somewhere in between , one of hands decided to trail up her back and settle between thick locks , a slight tug allowing for better access and jamie couldn’t help the smirk against her skin. “ what did you have in mind, hmm? ” 

[jamiechr]

──   you know , you’ll always know me 💖 with  :  @chrsujeong​  !!

   a familiar time , a familiar place and familiar friends was a good way to sum up jamie’s life. for someone so seemingly free-spirited , routine fell easily into her life and what’s more.. she didn’t mind it. because this? this she could do. bustling tables , big smiles , a little bit of small talk mixed in there with the professionalism of being able to manage her staff efficiently? -- all working like a well-oiled machine being executed perfectly. ( well , it did cost her sleep and sanity but we don’t go there... )  

    but see! that she could do.. unlike something else that needed to be done but.. wasn’t really happening. now , she loved sujeong okay? with all her heart. cared for the woman and would love to spend and spared second with her --- although , watching her live in turmoil while there wasn’t much she could do was probably harder than everything else happening right now combined. 

    the cold mystery vibes incorporated with hints of warmth that were speckled across was probably enough to get her curious , to go in deep and find out about some of the thoughts crossing her pretty little head ( and yes , she was really pretty but that’s not the point ). the point is that the more she got to know her , really know her.. however little and however spaced out , jamie so hoped there was more.. that she could be this pillar of a person for the younger where no sense of facade was required. it wasn’t hard to imagine how keeping up an act could’ve been exhausting and yet.. after everything , jamie had managed to see minor cracks. it was something.

     “ --- can i get you a refill? ” she questioned while standing on the other side of the table , wide smile and all. “ gosh , i’m so sorry it’s been a little busy tonight and i didn’t get to spend much of it with you , but!! ” one leg on the bar table and then the other as jamie leaped across to her side and take a seat on the empty chair beside her. “ i’m here now!! and sorry but you’re not gonna be able to get rid of me for the rest of the night. ---- first , what can i get you? did you eat , are you hungry? another cocktail , maybe? ”

[jamiechr]

TAEHYUN:

( ... ) 

taehyun exits the car, bidding his driver a goodbye while he stares into the restaurant doors that the doorpersons have opened. he takes in a deep breath through his nose, picturing what girl could possibly be waiting for him at their reserved table. knowing his mother, it’s some tall model-like woman with long, flowing hair and legs that go on for days. demure and dainty, but striking enough to turn heads. the host shows him to the table and he fiddles around with his stemmed water glass as he waits, only looking up when he hears someone approaching. no, his mother wouldn’t. it couldn’t be-

“jamie?”

   an ideal daughter. it’s not who she was but who she had to be. truthfully , by no means was jamie a bad daughter but she did often wonder if that’s how it would’ve been if the ahn name was given to her by birth and any following action was not done through gratitude laced motives. because she was thankful , more than it was possible to put into words -- the life she now lived was a second chance.. and a rather generous one. 

    never having a clear goal in mind , her adoptive parents guided her to business. saw the potential and planted the seed. ‘ you’re really smart , you know that jamie? and a quick learner too! you’d do so well in handling our hotels... ’ if there was sincerity in those sentences or if it was spoken out of sheer necessity on account of her little adoptive sister not having a business bone in her body would forever remain a mystery. but jamie didn’t care , really. she basked in the attention. ---- maybe the hint of her never being really good in school until she heard those words would’ve given you the answer. or maybe those bright a.m’s spent between books only to get that recognition once again would’ve. 

   but jamie was human. she was bound to mess up... in her case , big time. ---- flashback to high school , to a girlfriend she loved and to the the stubborn stand she took in the declaration of it. to the first argument in the ahn household where jamie stood in the centre of it. caused it , in fact. lost it , too. ‘ if you don’t want to live on the streets again , i suggest you keep your mouth shut! ’ well how was a teenager bound by fear and responsibility to say more. 

     flash forward a few years to her mother choosing to address the sad smile on her face and the hoax in her words.. ‘ i know you’re still upset with what happened but it’ll be okay.. we’ll set you up with a nice boy who’ll keep you happy. ’ maybe her mother didn’t know but the smile was still sad and the tears weren’t out of happiness. 

     on humble request , she got a few years to herself. ‘ i have college! ’ and then it was , ‘ i need to focus on opening up my bar! ’ -- but they weren’t waiting any longer and she was fresh out of excuses. then it was just , ‘ you’re meeting someone tonight. our driver will take you. ’ was what she heard from her father , and of course , her mom couldn’t be more excited to help her get ready.

     much like everything else about the situation , jamie had no control over what she wore. and no , her striking suit or really anything less revealing was definitely not allowed. maybe you wouldn’t recognise her when you heard the distinct click of heels demanding the attention of every single soul in the room , and if that didn’t do it , sleek legs that peaked from the slit in the front of her long black dress might’ve done the job. bold red lip and perfectly waved hair carefully set down her shoulder was all a part of the plan. 

      she hears her name then and it honestly takes a second to realise , maybe denial was playing a part but her eyes widen once they set on the familiar face. “ taehyun-ah? ” once the surprise dies down , she’s giggling and moving to wrap arms around the man “ our parents really did this , huh? ” the waiter helps her with her seat and now , it’s real. “ i’m sorry , i really didn’t know and.. i’m guessing you didn’t either? ---- anyway! before anything , i do have to say that you look really nice , i don’t think i’ve seen that suit on you before. ”

[jamiechr]

@gyurichr !!​

[jamiechr]

truth: what is the worst thing you've ever done to someone you loved?

  oh please don’t make her say it. she already lives with it everyday , every second of every minute.. has been for years now but bringing it up with words , reliving the moment... the way every part of her would shiver and eyes instantly well up. “ well... uh... ” you’ve asked the question so have to wait for a good while until the woman can actually struggle through it. 

   “ it’s uh.. it was back-- back in high school..with-- i just-- didn’t even-- ” deep breath and a moment to recollect herself. “ sabrina was-- is , she is the first person who showed me what being in love actually meant.. what being loved meant and all the promises i made of giving her the world when i couldn’t even--- couldn’t even stand up for her. tell everyone that the person they went around calling a.. a crazy stalker or whatever was the love of my life and they had it all wrong! --- i was the luckiest person in the whole wide world to have gotten to be with her and i just.. i was a fucking coward who backed away when it truly meant something. and i know my father basically threatened to kick me out if i said anything but that was just an excuse , i get that now. i should’ve said something , god damn it should’ve gone on stage and yelled how the school’s most beautiful girl was dating me!! --- if only we could turn back time... ”  she wiped the tears away because where was the right to cry when she was the one who caused this pain. jamie knew the regret she’d live with would’ve been there her whole life and she it’s what she deserved for hurting the one person who loved her... 

[jamiechr]

NABI:

( ... ) 

luckily, it seems that the other is within the same frame of mind ⏤ and nabi can’t help the way teeth sink into the supple flesh of her lip at the words, her presence closing in, teasing, never enough. corners of her mouth quirk upwards as her words come out slow, dragging the moment, “really? you’re super cute when you play innocent like that, but i know what you want, jamie.” the chuckle that follows is low, deep, as a free hand moves forward to crook a finger within the material of her collar, pulling the other woman enough to extinguish the tension put there’s a sudden pause right before, a short stop. nabi’s breath caressing her lips as she whispers, purposely tantalizing, “you said you think about me too much before, hmm? show me how far we go when you do.”

it feels like a rubber band snapping once she closes the distance, kissing her. the satisfying release of tension, invitation of sweeping intensity, desire. all she can think about is jamie’s taste against the bite of liquor and how fucking wonderful it feels, free hand searching to pull her closer, a dire need to feel her body on hers once again.

   there were only so many times she could forgive. the gaze , the touch , the whispers--- whoops , three strikes and you’re out? seemed like it because her attention was now so blatantly being diverted to color-tainted lips as they’re trapped between and she wants.. needs to reach for them , soothe them with her own. at this point it was hard to tell if jamie had wished to have a couple more drinks or a few less...

    an asteroid was speeding , the ends burning up but the speed refusing to let up. --- that’s what it felt like , at least. her breath held as she let the other speak , incriminating words being whispered that seemed like jamie had been caught red-handed but there wasn’t time for shy blushes or surprised looks. maybe a huff of air in a form of a chuckle because god damn she couldn’t deny it even if she wanted to --- jung nabi was someone jamie undeniably wanted and she knew that. 

   she’s being pulled in , no signs of restraint , jamie followed.. god , she’d follow her to the ends of the earth. ---- speaking of which! the asteroid.. only seconds left , but of course there’s that tease.. that hesitance , that suspense.. for nabi it was in the form of a final blow of using her own words against and jamie has to smile-- smile because how the hell did the younger always say all the right things at the right time? 

    there it is , the impact-- that crash just as powerful as anticipated and it so clearly leaving an , what was imagined to be , irreversible effect. all you could do was stand by the sidelines and witness growing embers , completely and utterly mesmerized by them with no intention of dousing the fire. it’s one kiss and jamie’s knuckles are whitening with sheets bunched up under them , it’s one kiss and jamie’s light-headed with her legs running on reserve to hold her up , it’s one kiss but jamie wants so much more.. 

    funny how nabi tastes nothing like she imagined -- jamie thought strawberry lip gloss and freezing lips , but all she got was smoky liquor and burning desire. it was a thousand times more so you could imagine the struggle jamie faced when she had to force the distance between the two , eyes shut and her lungs quickly taking up whatever air they could find.. “ fuck...” profanities weren’t often something that fell passed her lips but let’s just say the situation called for it because geez , if their first kiss was anything to go by... yeah , she was probably already regretting her next move. 

    “ nabi.. ” hands still a little too desperately needing to reach for her but being tamed to stay off and help the situation de-escalate , perhaps then jamie would’ve thought to pull away a little further and not let her own lips ghost over hers , but , small steps yeah? “ nabi , you’re drunk.. and i don’t want you doing something you’ll regret tomorrow ---- no matter how much i fucking want you. ” another deep breath and a little more distance. “ you-- you should.. you should get some sleep... ”

[jamiechr]

SEOHA:

( ... )

or, in plainer terms, seoha just didn’t know what the hell to do. how was she supposed to act? what was the next step? this wasn’t her usual “let’s do the deed and then maybe not see each other again” routine. all she knew (and that’s the truth) is that she didn’t really want jamie to leave, especially not like this. not a push out the door. not a resemblance of regret.

so god damn was she glad when the other offered to make breakfast; a relieved chortle escaped her and she took a couple of steps forward, closing the gap between them. “breakfast sounds perfect,” she laughed, a hand gently brushing against jamie’s hip, “but i’d feel bad asking you to make it in this state. do you wanna go out? with me?”

    it isn’t lost on her , not in the slightest. how could it be? --- it was there in the way the woman stood with a hesitant smile , in the way she ran her hands through her hair-- that jamie claimed was an unfair move because of how good she looked while doing it , in the way her face was glowing with a light shade of pink adding the perfect amount of color and in the way she spoke with the same voice that jamie remembered sounded so good whispering in her ear just a few hours ago. ----- it’s not lost on her how gorgeous kang seoha was.

     she’s immediately shaking her head , maybe buying some time before words could formulate. “ no.. no , not at all. -- i’m sorry to have overslept a little , wish i’d woken up sooner. seeing you first thing would’ve made for a perfect morning , i imagine. ” a sheepish smile as she rubs the back of her neck , how something like that would’ve chalked up to classic jamie at any other given moment.. but now , it was.. actually a little nerve-wrecking. --- perhaps she was more hungover than she thought and the filter was still setting in. 

     it’s restraint working at its finest as the bar owner did everything she could to stand stationary in her position , not reaching over and holding onto her in anyway , nope. the last thing the woman wanted was to encourage any awkward air between the two , overstay her welcome-- and while it would’ve been completely fine for the other to bid her farewell , when she accepted the invitation , a grin wide enough to fill half of her face spread instantly. 

     jamie’s so caught up in those words that only when do fingers graze against her does she realise the eliminated gap between the two and in an instant remembers what happened the last time they were so close --- how selfish of her to wish to recreate that , even if just for a moment. but what she settles with is reaching for her hand , their fingers interlocking and distance decreasing further with a subtle pull as she smiles , the little pink on her own cheeks was because she’d just woken up , okay. “ but i don’t mind at all , i’d love to cook for you. ” their foreheads almost touching and jamie has to keep talking to fill the space that if empty , could lead something a little more dangerous than breakfast. “ just trust me , okay? --- and also point me to your kitchen , and tell me if you’re more of a hangover stew or pancakes kinda’ person. ”

[jamiechr]

sab​:

with @jamiechr

❪ sms › jamie 👾 ❫ hi ❪ sms › jamie 👾 ❫ can u come to my party? it’s close friends only so don’t tell anyone. aug 24, 8 pm to whenever my place. so i’ll see you there right? ❪ sms › jamie 👾 ❫ i’m excited ❪ sms › jamie 👾 ❫ hurry up ❪ sms › jamie 👾 ❫ hello

❪ sms » sabsters 🦋 ❫ : hi hi!!  ❪ sms » sabsters 🦋 ❫ : i’m so sorry i was in a meeting  ❪ sms » sabsters 🦋 ❫ : but wait  ❪ sms » sabsters 🦋 ❫ : your birthday party? me? are you sure? ... ❪ sms » sabsters 🦋 ❫ : uh yeah YEAH ofc i’ll be there!! ❪ sms » sabsters 🦋 ❫ : i’m excited too 

[jamiechr]

truth / what is your most cherished childhood memory?

“ weeelllll , i could say there are too many but really , there’s one that’s a favourite of mine!! ” just the thought of it and she grinning , mixed with a little nostalgia of course. “ i remember i was young , like thirteen and i had the brilliant idea of learning how to skateboard... yeah i don’t do that anymore so i can tell you it didn’t end well.. but it’s what happened after.. the memory of my mom scolding me in gentlest way possible while cleaning up the wound on my knee , looking all worried. she kept telling me to be safe and not to do stupid things because she hated to see me hurt and i don’t think anyone’s ever said something like that to me.. ”