japeth-the-singing-goat-blog

[japeth-the-singing-goat-blog]

[japeth-the-singing-goat-blog]

every once in a while i see a post on here making fun of hoodwinked and i get just slightly offended cuz i completely unironically love that movie. 

like yeah it’s a bit ridiculous and the animation isn’t great but like. there are so many gems in that movie. 

red’s a black belt. granny does extreme sports. the big bad wolf is an investigative journalist and he’s voiced by kronk. a totally random goat that was cursed by a witch for unknown reasons to sing everything he says and has many sets of multifunctional detachable horns and gets an entire musical number despite being only vaguely important to the movement of the plot.

seriously this movie is fantastic and y’all are sleepin on it.

[japeth-the-singing-goat-blog]

Red: what big ears you have!

The Wolf: all the better to hear your many criticisms, my dear!

Red: what big--

The Wolf: are we just gonna sit around talking about how big I'm getting?!

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HAHAHAHAHAHAhashsahjjasas

[japeth-the-singing-goat-blog]

an assortment of lines from the movie “hoodwinked” in no particular order

“You AGAIN?! What do I have to do, get a restraining order?!”

“You sayin’ this guy’s a cop?!” “Worse. He’s a reporter.”

“I’m getting schnitzel’d left and right. I cannot even sell the bunion cream!”

“I wanna do an expose. Maybe a coffeebook – I don’t drink coffee, maybe a chai tea latte book.”

“The only crime I’ve ever committed is making my goodies unlawfully delicious!”

“I noticed you have three G’s tattooed onto the back of your neck. That’s appropriate, since there are three strikes against you.”

“THIRTY-SEVEN YEARS AGOOOOOO A WITCH DONE PUT A SPELL ON MEEEEEE”

“I just wanna go home and hibernate.”

“It’s true. I never did like the quilting bees and the bingo parlors. I’d rather live life to the extreme.”

“Grandma, what’s this?” “Oh! I-It says ‘World’s Greatest Grandma’!” “Grandma, I can read. It says, 'Battle of the Iron Cage Gladiators’.”

“Sweet tea and biscuits! We gotta do something!” “I know. The song was catchy, but the choreography was terrible.”

“No. Not prison! NOT FOR A CUTE LITTLE BUNNY RABBIT!" 

[japeth-the-singing-goat-blog]

I got horns that open bottles,

And I got horns that hold my keys,

I got horns that when you turn ‘em right, they help me watch TV.

I got horns that open pickle jars,

And horns that come with hair,

I got horns that hang my other horns -

I always come prepared.

[japeth-the-singing-goat-blog]

[japeth-the-singing-goat-blog]

I don’t think this flick gets enough love.

[japeth-the-singing-goat-blog]

May I present to you…

childhood. 

[japeth-the-singing-goat-blog]

“Can you stop singing?”

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[japeth-the-singing-goat-blog]

[japeth-the-singing-goat-blog]