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Kayne 🤝 the Manager

Looking at Arthur and John and thinking: yep, those are the guys I want to bet reality on.

Literally asking the same guys to fulfil their opposing plans at the exact same time.

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so kayne is writing elaborate narratives to torture his faves, and the manager is writing fix-it-fics where they get to chill at a nice club

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MALEVOLENT SEXYMAN TOURNAMENT

Hellooooo everybody and welcome to the newly created very lovely very exciting Malevolent sexyman tournament! This is a tournament I've made in collaboration with @buggnome for us to determine the absolute sexiest character in the hit horror podcast Malevolent! Yes, I said podcast, no, these characters don't have canon designs, and yes, we all know who's probably going to win. All part of the fun!

This tournament will start off with 32 characters and run for 5 rounds. Each of the polls will run for three days (yes, three days instead of a week, because if it runs too long I WILL forget about this thing). Propaganda in the notes is encouraged but I won't facilitate it in the polls themselves. The tag to follow is #Malevolentsexymantournament for updates on the polls and such.

WARNING: there is a VERY MILD spoiler in the very bottom right for the latest De Capo episode! It is out of context and just a meaningless title, but if you're trying to be 100% spoiler free then here's your warning! Additionally, if you are not caught up to... mid Season5ish, there will be a few more spoilers just in the format of names. I don't think it's too bad, but nobody say I didn't warn you!

So without further ado... here's the bracket! Links to the polls for Round 1 will be in the next reblog.

(Written out under the cut)

LEFT SIDE

John Doe v Shub-Niggurath Scratch/Lilith v Yellow The Hag/The Witch v The Waylay Waiter Antoine v Lord Evrard

The King in Yellow v Alia Marie v Uncle (Larson) David Saltzman v Mr. Faust Kayne v The Friar

RIGHT SIDE

Arthur Lester v Barnabas Addison (Beast) v Bella Lester Kellin v Parker Yang The Butcher v Wallace Larson

Detective Noel v Yorick Mother Darkness v Oscar Arthurs Parents v John Wayne The Horse Roland Cummings v The Manager

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wheRE is the art of Oscar and Daniel growing a companionship together post s4 over their shared indignant frustration with Arthur fucking Lester showing up and cutting his path of destruction through their lives and then VANISHING

please, I need it!!!

.

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Arthur’s Hard-Knock Life

Anyway go listen to Malevolent, it has lots more Arthur Pain Noises to offer

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Da Capo Memes

Fresh memes! Come and get 'em!

And last but not least I can't NOT poke fun at Arthur's first day of malevolent:

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Did y'all hear how the Manager kept choking off his laughs every time they got too loud or too genuine, refusing to sound like Kayne? Did y'all hear how he kept suppressing pieces of his nature out of fear and shame, even if those pieces were full of joy or comfort? Did y'all hear how you kept rushing to kill the parts of himself that he hates?

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So...how often do we think the Manager needed to step in to save Arthur and John? Do you think he's spent the past 5 seasons watching a big screen tv and shouting, "No! Not another pit, Arthur!"?

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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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I have already tried to convey my thoughts/feelings about them saying so many times irl. Take Who-Even-Knows-How-Many: Tumblr Post Edition

But John?? Saying "I am the King in Yellow"?? Arthur saying "what about the pleasure you've gotten from toying with me"??

John "I Am Entirely My Own" "Rejects His Past As The King And Strives To Be Human" Doe?? Arthur "Captain Of My Soul" "Hates Being Used Or Controlled And Having His Agency Taken Away" Lester??

"I am the King" and "I am your toy"??? Those were their arguments???

That's how desperate things have gotten. They've been reduced to such helplessness, against an opponent they know full well can't be appealed to in normal human ways, that they willingly frame themselves as the things they most despise being, in an knowingly doomed bid of desperation. They had nothing left at that point

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I have already tried to convey my thoughts/feelings about them saying so many times irl. Take Who-Even-Knows-How-Many: Tumblr Post Edition

But John?? Saying "I am the King in Yellow"?? Arthur saying "what about the pleasure you've gotten from toying with me"??

John "I Am Entirely My Own" "Rejects His Past As The King And Strives To Be Human" Doe?? Arthur "Captain Of My Soul" "Hates Being Used Or Controlled And Having His Agency Taken Away" Lester??

"I am the King" and "I am your toy"??? Those were their arguments???

That's how desperate things have gotten. They've been reduced to such helplessness, against an opponent they know full well can't be appealed to in normal human ways, that they willingly frame themselves as the things they most despise being, in an knowingly doomed bid of desperation. They had nothing left at that point

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Arthur Lester at the piano straight "composing it"

And by "it" haha let's just say. Child neglect

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(Spoilers for ep 52) but do you think that John, in his last moments with Arthur, realized what it was like for Arthur? To be blind? Do you think Arthur, limbless and useless, realized what it was like for John? To be a passenger in a body meant to be yours?

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(Spoilers for ep 52) but do you think that John, in his last moments with Arthur, realized what it was like for Arthur? To be blind? Do you think Arthur, limbless and useless, realized what it was like for John? To be a passenger in a body meant to be yours?

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Shoutout to this meme i forgot i made

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I need other people to bear the curse of knowing that that "The Ex-boyfriends, collect them all!" audio fits the malevolent characters so well (here is a link but I couldn't find the original so woe, mcyt animatic be upon ye)

Larson: Beautiful eyes, great sense of humor! (Belonged to a weird cult and would always talk about the weird cult and eventually you realized he wasn't your boyfriend at all he was just trying to get you to join his weird cult)

Arthur: Aspiring musician! Forgot your birthday! Was secretly several dozen weasels in a human disguise.

John: Unemployed! Slept on an air mattress. Claimed he "wasn't the rat king" [or kiy] but then one night you followed him into the sewers and he sat down on a makeshift throne and a bunch of rats surrounded him and he definitely said "I am the rat king"

Noel: Never paid for you! Feared commitment. Said his favorite movie was The Godfather but it was actually Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs

Like okay it's not perfect BUT DO YOU SEE THE VISION???

OMG LMAO