jaspe-r-ed

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Experience: Learning the right way to connect the dots.

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stoned and autistic at a party trying to make conversation: I find the comparative lifespan of organisms so interesting. Spiders are comparatively long lived animals. Female black widows can live up to 3 years but their male counterparts rarely live four months. Some tarantulas live upwards of 20 years. The longest lived spider was around 43 years old when she was cruelly assassinated by a parasitic wasp. Domestic rats have a lifespan comparable to female black widows. To put things into perspective, there are spiders that remember a pre-pandemic world but it is likely every rat on earth was born post-COVID. There could be a spider out there born when Reagan was in office.

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I have died

We finally got a talking clip ahh!!

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if there's one thing i appreciate about americans, its that they are DELIGHTED by "american love burger" jokes. they cant get enough of them! much like how they cant get enough of burger……

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"I'm a top" "I'm a bottom" ok but are you on the square??? are you on the level??? are you ready to swear right here right now before the devil???

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For Trump, a military conflict with Iran would distract from: -Sinking poll numbers -A devastating (and unpopular) budget bill -Harmful trade wars -Unleashing the military on American soil -Millions of people protesting his authoritarianism We must remain on high alert. [Cartoon by @adamzyglis]

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This came to me in a dream.

Behold! The funniest concept for Ghost merch: papa sheet masks

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mads mikkelsen and robert pattinson need to do a movie together just because the promo interviews would be chaos personified

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Evansville Press, Indiana, January 14, 1909

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I FINALLY FOUND IT AGAIN

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I hate you eat in kitchens i hate you open concept floor plans i hate you washer/dryer in kitchen i ha

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Fall for my propaganda. My papaganda.

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let’s hide the body with mama

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fuller was such a coward for not giving us a hot badass woman killer of the week who like idk chopped off penises and displayed them and Will empathized with her and got all kinds of penis themed hallucinations