jaycethepancake

[jaycethepancake]

[jaycethepancake]

The inherent conflict of being alive is that your cells just love water. Great stuff for cells. Excellent for transporting things around in, really helps counteract gravity and make that 3rd dimension fully accessible. You as an organism however, want atmosphere. It's got all those awesome gases, like oxygen. Those gases are great! But they're not very good at getting in the water. Lots more of them outside the water.

Now some organisms went ahead and said "well, our cells want to be in the water, we're made of cells, we're staying in the water". And I respect that! Gotta respect that. Lots of 'em stick to the surface, get a little bit of the good gases, but keep themselves nice and watered up (wet) to keep their cells happy. Some make do with whatever cool gases have managed to dissolve into the water, thanks to a process known as "churning that shit up" that happens on the water's surface. Doesn't work out great for them, but you know, they made their decision and they committed to it. You gotta respect that.

Now some organisms, especially a lot of old ones, were afraid of commitment. They hung out at the water's edge, breathing all the gases and shit, but still needed to make sure they could stay wet. Like, their plan was to leave the water, but stay wet. Not a great move, if you ask me. Usually it works, but only until it doesn't. You ever seen dried up moss? Ask it how it's "stay wet but not in water" plan went. It can't answer you. It fucked up. That's what you get for not committing.

Now trees though, trees had the other idea. Trees and some other plants were like, no problem. I'm gonna take my water with me and never ever let it go. They developed specialized cells and shit. They got whole layers dedicated to keeping the water the fuck in. They got other cells dedicated to hunting down any water in a square fuckometer and taking it for themselves. That's hustle. That's a game plan. Some plants got so good at it they saw these dry-ass stretches of land that saw rain less often than you saw your mother smile as a child and were like "okay but is the amount of water not literally zero? Yeah? We're good."

The moving orgisms tried to copy trees, naturally. Making hard outer layers to trap the water in for their cells. But it was pretty weak. They kept going on about needing holes for the moisture to leave, and wet surfaces for their eyeballs. Then some of us got stupid and decided maybe we only needed like a half-decent layer protecting our water. "Semi-permeable" they marketed it as. Oh it's fine they said. We'll live somewhere wet, they said. Yeah how'd that work out for that moss again.

And now I get a headache if I go like 3 hours without drinking a glass of water. I should've been a pine tree.

[jaycethepancake]

[jaycethepancake]

I am CONSTANTLY overheating and also very autistic and literal so I tend to say "could you make it less hot in here?" or vice versa for cold

my spouse and i disagree

[jaycethepancake]

[jaycethepancake]

Today my professor picked up a garter snake, said “Ow!” five times as it bit him, set it back down, and said, “Okay. That’s one defense mechanism snakes have.”

[jaycethepancake]

I know I'm late to the party when it comes to discussing the whole "Mercer Effect" thing but I do just wanna say, if you as a D&D player are expecting your DM to be like Matt Mercer, you should put in some effort to be like Liam O'Brien, Marisha Ray, Laura Bailey, Travis Willingham, Sam Riegel, or Ashley Johnson

[jaycethepancake]

Some doodles from This Tenna x reader fic by @suckybuss

I don’t have the hang on drawing Tenna yet so sorry if it looks iffy

[jaycethepancake]

behind the scenes

[jaycethepancake]

distraction

[jaycethepancake]

The foreshadowing in the first act of Jurassic Park is nuts, considering it's an adaption of a story everyone watching it knew.

Most famously, this is a movie that foreshadows the entire plot with a seatbelt, with Grant having two "female" connectors but managing to tie them together anyway, or the fact that the plot is kicked off by Hammond treating a liability tour conducted bc dinosaurs ate someone as a exciting grand opening, but like

"Dr. Wu is introduced writing lab data down in pencil, and erasing it." Sure

"In the DNA lab some of the dinosaur's names are misspelled." Huh (and likely intentional, since it's two misspellings of two popular dinosaurs shown in close-up)

"When Hammond is pouring champagne for Grant and Sattler, he accidentally grabs much cheaper glasses without noticing, and we can see the right glasses sitting in the background" What?

I think this ties into the "UNIX system" scene too. Set aside that that was a real, if obscure, file manager program, everyone mocking how it was an example of Hollywood "not getting computers" is wrong on those grounds too. "Yeah, it looks cool, but it wouldn't be very efficient or functional". Yeah, and that's why it makes perfect sense for John Hammond to have it on the computers at Jurassic Park. After all, a boring, functional folder doesn't scream "spared no expense". It's not an great example of the filmmakers not getting computers, it's a great example of a character not getting computers

[jaycethepancake]

One weird experience of transitioning is failing at ur assigned gender role the whole time and everyone constantly deriding you for it but then u come out and it's like we lost a beautiful gender conforming warrior today. Must grieve for my wonderful child who pissed me off by being ugly and weird since day 1

[jaycethepancake]

one of my formative experiences with sex ed was having sexual desire explained to my class by a catholic nun who was very clearly working on a purely theoretical model. she explained with like increasing mania that women and men are very different because men are "like microwaves" and women "are like crock pots" and the more confused the class (age 13) became the more frantic sister patrick stephen became until she was accidentally making the point that men and women are too much like different appliances to have sex with each other at all. we all felt quite guilty as this was the year twilight came out so we'd all just gotten horny for the first time. so we felt bad for her if anything

[jaycethepancake]

It's really funny that Noelle's mom is so over-protective in every other area of her life, but gives her 100% unmonitored internet access. She thought Noelle couldn't handle being in the rain too long, meanwhile her daughter's fighting for her life on the internet as she stumbles into every single creepypasta, all of which are real and trying to kill her.

[jaycethepancake]

Hey random but if you're into vocaloid/utau I can send you this Defoko VCCV English voicebank someone in a server I'm in made!

[jaycethepancake]

A boy can dream, can't he?

[jaycethepancake]

I have been so utterly transfixed by this phrase lately.

I find myself saying this out lout whenever I feel stumped by any conversation. Any time a conversation gets kinda stupid and people start saying unnecessary things I immediately have a strong compulsion to say "uh... white person here. i jack off to goombas from the super mario bros games"