jaynecygan

[jaynecygan]

february 2025 updates [wips + planning]

err, i wanted to give more updates about the wips' progress, but as expected, with work and also school, i am swamped albeit i've been trying to spend some more time on writing because it gives me so much joy.

my gf and i have caught up with vento aureo (jjba part 5) and rubs hands... i am planning a post-canon fic that i'll talk more below. on the other hand, we're switching to golden kamuy and are in season 3 because my gf loves me too much and because i insisted we continue on so that we can watch season 4's opening. so, another post-canon fic!!!! for golden kamuy!!!! i should probably be concerned with how much they're taking up my time, since while i am typing this update, i also need to crunch for a draft deadline! oops!

anyway,

WIP list because i have no self-control:

1. The Voice of Thy Brother's Blood [kny, michikatsu-centric]

i think it's high time that this fic has its own header for updates. i have to admit that i've been working on this wip the most, while slowly chipping away at the post-canon vento aureo one.

as mentioned in the previous update, i have outlined michikatsu's progression using christopher booker's progression for tragedy from the book the seven basic plots: why we tell stories. while this is his entire thematic journey, i have been struggling on what to put for the little plots within each chapter, and determining how many chapter i will write anyway, but i'm working on that as well using the chapter funnel structure. i have found it very useful thus far!

i have identified the three core desires that conflict and support michikatsu's progression throughout the wip, plus some sexy motifs that might be cool to put in! the rest is just balancing and intertwining these tidbits in as well.

i read a couple of references for this wip, mainly to look up sex education during ancient japan (catered toward nobles), as well some readings to emphasize on the gothic + incest aspects of the wip. i am very inspired by the carnivorous lamb by agustin gomez-arcos (which has its absolute share of trigger warnings especially on the incestuous aspect), as well as saint of heartbreak by morgan dante. a reread in order is brother by ren ti gu jia, because i feel like i haven't really grasped the moral struggle within michikatsu for his feelings/obsession for yoriichi.

i think i am quite set for chapter 1's outline, so i need to refine the following chapters, before finally adding the meat to the skeletons. i do have some scenes that have been written, but depending on how it flows/connect, i might just forgo them. i'll see.

2. post-canon boss!giorno [jjba, giorno/mista/fugo]

it's just some ideas here and there, but i would like to have a qpr with the fugiomis + trish/sheila e. it'll be detailing how giorno takes over passione, so it shall obviously have a lot of spoilers... but messy teens! messy relationships! fucked up ways you will do to make sure the people you trust will stay around... they are tied to each other in fucked up, yet devoted ways.

3. post-canon gk [golden kamuy, sugimoto/shiraishi(?)]

i don't have much to say right now except: asirpa-sugimoto's dynamic mirroring inkarmat-wilk's, sugimoto the immortal learns to shed his immortality and become sugimoto the mortal instead, and perhaps shiraishi lives only to become a memento of the people he's met in life.

a snippet:

"because you do, you know. sugimoto the immortal has died when we boarded down the train. should die. along with first lieutenant tsurumi, within in the depths of that water. now you're free to do as you wish. sugimoto the mortal." "heh, just a 'mortal' now, huh? but maybe there is no sugimoto the mortal, asirpa-san. there is just a ghost, waiting to die."

okay that's all for now thanks for tuning in byeee

[jaynecygan]

mid-january updates [wips]

so, it's already mid january. but the problem is that i have lot of shit to do: study for an exam for this month, prepare for my internship, do an assignment that's due next month. i might not be able to write my planned fics that much because of my school and work sched.

however, i'm very committed already to some ideas, which means that i've begun cobbling some stuff together in notion beyond writing 1-2 synopsis lines, BUT ALSO!! ideas and outlines!! this applies mainly for the kny fics, but now i'm mulling over some jjba fic ideas as well? my gf and i finished part 4 and we're onto part 5 now, which i'm like. Whoa. all of the cunts in just one part???? giorno???? bruno???? HELLO???? need to write.

anyway,

a finalized list of wips i'm pretty enthralled by and their writing statuses:

The Voice of Thy Brother's Blood [kny]: tragic michikatsu-centric fic where he views his relationship with yoriichi as they join the demon slayer corps, and slowly develop forbidden feelings. largest progress so far because i've jotted down ideas, and actually referenced the story progression for Tragedy (from The Seven Basic Plots: Why We Tell Stories) to adapt for michikatsu. i just need to slowly fill in and organize the ideas to slot them into each stage of the story progression. thinking abt this fic does make me regret some stuff about the yoriichi ot3 fic. i should've included more of yoriichi thinking about michikatsu in that fic. i also wrote down michikatsu's dialogues from the manga + made a spotify playlist, so it's quite joever for me, as in i'm definitely writing this fic whether i like or not! good apollo has willed it so!

post-canon sanegiyuu [kny]: i've jotted down a lot of ideas, but especially what will drive and finalize the relationship progression of sanegiyuu (through, guess what? ding ding ding: processing sanemi's grief yippee). this is such a kum brand fic LMAO

jotaro/rohan in part 4 [jjba]: idk i thought aroace* rohan experiencing attraction/feelings/fondness for jotaro and this idea grabbed me by the balls very thoroughly! i'm semi-contemplating if i should include kakyoin in here too, but i think part 4 jotaro/(aroace)rohan/kakyoin deserves its own fic. plus, it would be interesting to see how part 4 would be if kakyoin is thrown into the fray (definitely not thinking about long-haired kakyoin nope).

josuke/okuyasu [jjba]: i love okuyasu and i love josuyasu and i love thinking about okuyasu wanting a girlfriend but not realizing that he has josuke and "close your eyes bro" "ok bro" "what do you see bro" "nothing bro" "that's my world without you bro" "bro...". they're silly punk bros who love each other very much...

i think that should be it? i need to reread kny for more references, and maybe watch that rohan in louvre ova just to get more rohan refs, but given my workload i just have my fingers crossed that i will get through this.

anyway, hope everyone is having a good mid-january. i'm excited about the ceasefire, but this means we cannot forget to spread/donate to the palestinian gofundmes. i would also encourage everyone to donate to crisps for esims for gaza or to gaza soup kitchen!

[jaynecygan]

new year & updates [wips]

happy new year everyone! i hope this year will be kinder and more hopeful to all of us, and despite everything, i hope that i may create as much as i can while still allowing rest for myself.

my gf and i were still watching jojo's bizarre adventure and we caught up to part 4 with josuke! i also personally started reading this really beautiful manga titled after god, and i love??? waka, tokinaga, and orokapi so much??? i want to gather them all into my hand (also genuinely love orokapi's arc and just his character development).

the milestone for 2024 is that i finished writing The ot3 yoriichi fic i've had brewing since... a long time. it felt special that i was able to write this piece and actually finish it, and regardless of the outcome i'm quite satisfied with how i wrote the fic.

now, here's a wip list with fully developed ideas:

degenerate pining michikatsu/yoriichi [demon slayer/kimetsu no yaiba]: basically michikatsu-centric fic of the tsugikuni brothers' relationship throughout the years as they join the demon slayer corps. tentative title is The Voice of Thy Brother's Blood.

post-canon sanemi/giyuu [demon slayer/kimetsu no yaiba]: it's mostly giyuu-centric where he and sanemi rebuild their relationship after defeating muzan. somehow, it's easier to do.

role reversal!au [demon slayer/kimetsu no yaiba]: demon!tanjirou and human!nezuko hehehe.

post-canon yuzuriha/sagiri [jigokuraku]: kinda the same vibes with sanemi/giyuu except it's for yuzuriha and sagiri.

i have some half-baked plot bunnies as well, so i'll just note them down first and see if any of them will develop into Something if i just let them brew for a while.

pre-canon quincy/kuya fwb [nu: carnival]

gilbert thinking/pining over oz [pandora hearts]

post-canon ashiya/abeno [morose mononokean]: or, just because ashiya lost his sight, it doesn't mean that he can't still be friends with abeno.

aza brothers thing [jigokuraku]

realistically i will finish The Voice of Thy Brother's Blood this year, but we'll see since i'm also trying to apply to a zine as well. wish me luck, and best of lucks to everyone starting the year as well!!

[jaynecygan]

when the light in our hearts call out to each other [writing process]

i thought to just jot down my writing process as a fun documentation of what i did, my thought processes, and the notable edits i've made along the way. for brevity's sake, i'll just refer to when the light in our hearts call out to each other as the yoriichi ot3 fic from now on (even though, as you may have noticed, there is no explicit ot3 content of sumiyoshi/yoriichi/suyako here, but pls give me this one).

late 2022 happened to me, and i had to take a break from writing because of Major Life Events, which turned into a massive writing burnout where i couldn't write any creative pieces for around 2 years. the idea for this fic was shelved in that same year of 2022 when my friend wrote an essay about demon slayer for her class centered around the theme legacy, and it sparked a thing in my head about the thirteenth form of sun breathing.

i was also massively inspired by those who touch the sun by beecalm, so please do check out their works!!! they have such a lovely catalogue of kny fics but those who touch the sun especially has something special in my soul and heart (just like a part of yoriichi's heart that is stolen by sumiyoshi AUGH PLEASE READ THIS FIC), with the sun breathing is transformed into the dance of the fire god and subsequently passed down generations of the kamado, written with elegant and beautiful poetry-like prose of yoriichi's pov/pining over sumiyoshi. i do want to say that while i am absolutely inspired by those who touch the sun esp in terms of yoriichi's legacy (and ending it with tanjiro), i tried to take a different angle to it with more focus on what happened in chapter 186 + using the kagura in its literal meaning to summon a god.

i only got around to writing this on april 27th 2024, where i was basically trying to push myself to write Something and not just wait for divine inspiration to strike me with creativity. found the idea written somewhere in my notebook, hence, yoriichi ot3 fic was born!

i had to admit that i don't really know how to shape and where to bring this fic. the same feeling came upon me when i was writing my mdzs song lan/xiao xingchen fic On the Heart as well, but i like to think that i am better equipped in plotting this time, instead of just writing the vibes out (although i did just Vibe It Out for more part of this fic than not).

i knew that i wanted to write about several things:

1) sun themes (no kidding);

2) the hinokami kagura as yoriichi's legacy through the kamado family;

3) the kagura itself as a form of invocation to amaterasu-o-mikami and the shinto spirituality surrounding it (hence the inclusion of omamori, yoriichi thinking of himself as a tatarigami [or calamity god], and the reference to takamagahara, etc);

4) yoriichi seeing his dead loved ones in the kamado family whom he'd saved (yoriichi's mom-sumiyoshi, uta-suyako);

5) the parallel of yoriichi's and sumiyoshi's eyes + tears; and most importantly,

6) love, between yoriichi and sumiyoshi, yoriichi and suyako, and yoriichi and sumiyoshi and suyako (delicious, triangle love).

actually, kidding! some of these sprang up later after i finished up some scenes, but once these ideas manifested they would not stop sticking in my head, haha. so i just needed to figure out a way to include all of them and arrange them in a neat manner so that this fic wouldn't sound like the ramblings of a maniac going "LEGACY.... SUMIYOSHI LOVES YORIICHI AND IT'S SEEN IN THE PASSING OF HINOKAMI KAGURA!!!!!!" even though i wanna just write that as a manifesto.

anyway, Planning.

this time, it's one of those disjointed fics where i wrote out of order and have to come back to the skeletal scenes so i can buff them up with more meat. but the core is this: yoriichi is expelled from demon slayer corps (circumstances happened) -> he thinks about the people he cannot save (loss of purpose) -> but he once saved sumiyoshi -> he found relief in sumiyoshi and suyako's existence, as he managed to save their lives (healing/catalyst) -> it gave him more reason to keep slaying demons (regaining purpose). and then, contrast that with sumiyoshi's regret over the things he did not do for yoriichi (inaction) -> sumiyoshi passing down the fire god kagura as a form of prayer for yoriichi (action).

to be honest, i was lost while writing this most of the time. i was in tears. shaking. why do i write, i ask, who gave me the free will to do this voluntarily. it's only now when i come back to it that i realized, wow, i actually managed to cobble some pretty coherent structure, even in sumiyoshi's pov. but skeletons can be cobbled together. how do i pad it up with the meat (writing)?

it's genuinely thanks to eve @evetheindecisive bc they beta-read this fic and gave amazing suggestions about what scenes i could add in (like the details about kamado fam preparing a yukata for yoriichi and the scene about yoriichi sleeping over in the same room as the kamado fam). i really couldn't have written this fic without them holding my hand throughout the entire process.

writing it from yoriichi's pov makes me consider several things:

1) the special way he sees the world with his see-through vision,

2) his lack of self-worth,

3) his seeming detachment from humankind (either from his inability to process his emotions (not crying when his mom passed/freezing only holding uta and his unborn child's bodies when they died/from chapter 186, referring to his dialogue with sumiyoshi "I'm happy to see you all happy. When I see happy humans, I feel happy as well.") as though he is exempt from experiencing the happiness firsthand).

however, i really have grown rusty with my writing, so most of the fic is mostly "telling" instead of "showing". i just realized this when i went back to my old writings trying to figure out what had seemed so odd with the current narration. so i patched up some of yoriichi's pov, and added more physical descriptions related to how he feels emotions through his body rather than comprehending/intellectualizing them, because i thought that might be more natural to him to think of emotions in terms of what they did to the body.

lo, my realizations:

it feels good when you solve a problem in your draft! as you can see, i was not as calm writing this fic as i am currently writing this process down.

finally, i finished the draft on dec 5th 2024! i did a couple edits here and there, especially revamping some stuff on sumiyoshi's pov so that it'll flow better.

but yeah, that's the thought process behind when the light in our hearts call out to each other. thanks to anyone who read this post up 'til this point!!

[jaynecygan]

when the light in our hearts call out to each other [NEW FIC]

Title: when the light in our hearts call out to each other

Fandom: Kimetsu no Yaiba/Demon Slayer

Summary:

Tsugikuni Yoriichi's existence is an unwanted, worthless one. The only good thing he can do to atone for that is to kill Kibutsuji Muzan, or to die trying.

Yet Kamado Sumiyoshi seems to see something more within him.

Rating: G

Pairing(s): gen (implied Sumiyoshi/Yoriichi/Suyako)

Warnings: Angst & Hurt/Comfort, Processing Feelings and Trauma (courtesy of Yoriichi).

Notes: basically yoriichi rediscover his purpose (internalized) after he met sumiyoshi on chapter 186. also genuinely thank you @evetheindecisive for holding my hand throughout this entire ordeal... i can never thank you enough.

.

Tsugikuni Yoriichi’s existence is an unwanted, worthless one.

Everything good that he has come across and touched will burn—crumble into ember-dotted ashes. The way paper feeds fire.

His caring mother had succumbed to that terrible illness in his childhood. His bright wife, Uta, and his newborn child had been killed in the hands of demons without even a chance to run away. And now, his kind brother, kind, stubborn Michikatsu, who had once given him a flute and, more preciously, a bright smile not unlike the morning sun— has killed Oyakata-sama, and has now joined Muzan amongst the ranks of those very same loathsome demons.

Tsugikuni Yoriichi is useless, unable to prevent those tragedies from taking place. The only good thing he can do to atone for that is to kill Kibutsuji Muzan, or to die trying.

.

[AO3]

.

[writing process]

[jaynecygan]

when the light in our hearts call out to each other [FIC TEASER]

Title: when the light in our hearts call out to each other

Fandom: Kimetsu no Yaiba/Demon Slayer 

Summary:

Tsugikuni Yoriichi’s existence is an unwanted, worthless one. The only good thing he can do to atone for that is to kill Kibutsuji Muzan, or to die trying.

Yet Kamado Sumiyoshi seems to see something more within him. 

Rating: T

Pairing(s): gen (implied Sumiyoshi/Yoriichi/Suyako)

Warnings: self-deprecation (courtesy of Yoriichi).

Notes: this is a sneak peek of the wip. i'm still working on some details (mainly on Sumiyoshi's part) but i think it's mostly done and i don't want to add redundant things besides establishing what yoriichi did and strengthening his resolve after he was banished by the demon slayer corps. enjoy! also, special thanks to eve @evetheindecisive for holding my hand and listening to me rant abt this fic and also for beta-ing it!!!

this teaser is only accessible to supporters. thanks!

.

.

.

[KOFi]

[jaynecygan]

life updates [coming back, wips, essays]

so after many things i just decided to dust again my tumblr and repurpose/purge my sideblogs. this one remains for my writings, though i know i haven't used it for a very long time. however, after everything that's been happening in x/twitter, i feel that it might be better to slowly wean myself off that platform. i've been thinking on how to differentiate this blog and my kofi page, since i will most likely post updates there as well. i already post wip snippets on my twt account, but i might also post wips, plot outlines, or fic thoughts here and on kofi as well. i'll fiddle around.

sidenote: now i'm currently watching jojo's bizarre adventure (up to season 3), and was very recently introduced to nu:carnival (which made me obsessed with dark nova!yakumo).

fics wip list (anime/cwebnovel alike):

demon slayer/kimetsu no yaiba: a heavily implied yoriichi/sumiyoshi fic with heavy introspection on yoriichi's pov surrounding the events of his monumental conversation with sumiyoshi. tentative title: when the light in our hearts call out to each other. shout out to lisa for homura's lyrics

hell's paradise: post-canon sagiri/yuzuriha because LET'S GO LESBIANS LET'S GOOO it's very tentative bc i need to reread hell's paradise but i loveee sagiri/yuzuriha like... lesbiabs.... travel companions...

my house of horrors: a xu yin/chen ge fic because i can't get over xu yin gaining his heart from protecting chen ge and xu yin literally letting himself be destroyed so that chen ge will be safe PLEASE PROTECT XU YIN!!! SOMEONE LOVE THIS BOY!!!!!

some kpop stuff which i'm publishing under a different pseud because i feel ashamed but also i wrote a really nice fic for ateez and i was high from finishing the fic for days

also i just got myself a bunch of zines, and reading yaoi zine made me realize that i, too, want to engage in my fandom of choice and actually write for it. so i wanna write piecethinks for attack on titan

essays wip list:

attack on titan: aot and the human will in the context of oedipal tragedy

attack on titan: cannibalism in attack on titan is pretty catholic!

supernatural shounens and the adolescent queer identity: a self-reflection

yuri in chinese harem dramas

i suppose this is it so far. my priority right now is to finish the yoriichi/sumiyoshi fic, so expect some wip updates over it!

[jaynecygan]

Reblog the writers’ fortune cookie for luck!

[jaynecygan]

Spending Ideas

I was talking to a friend about this post, and the preciousness of ideas. And it got me thinking about how I spend ideas and how that’s repaid me.

A couple of years back I wrote a story called Recycled. (you can read it here) and I ended up selling it to a magazine! Yay! (here)

That was amazing and exciting of course, but a friend commented that it felt more like the first chapter of a novel, and so I ended up playing around a bit with the concept, finally settling on the back story of one of the secondary characters, I wrote a few chapters of that which turned out to be something sort of solar punk. (posted a bit here) I felt a bit out of my depth though, and and ended up starting in on a urban fantasy series about teens discovering their family legacies of extraordinary abilities.

Then about six months ago someone semi dared me to write an AU of that urban fantasy (I think she was tired of hearing me ramble on about it with nothing to actually read lol) in space. With Zombies.

I wrote a thing. And I really liked the thing. So I wrote more. No one else seemed very interested, so I converted it to a Hunger Games fan fic, which seemed popular. But I liked the concept too much, and I so I reconverted it into a novel, which is now my current WIP called Space Rats. (the fic is currently languishing until Space Rats is written, but you can check it out here)

I’d been thinking about how space ships in popular fiction are always portrayed as these sterile places, and space stations are even worse with their grey dim boxyness, and how so many people get depressed because of a lack of natural light and lack of access to natural spaces. And what that would mean for long term space living.

I came up with an idea about humans requiring companion animals on deep space missions, and ended up writing a short story about cats and aliens (can’t share that one, I’m working on getting it published in a magazine).

But still I kept thinking about other animals in space. Particularly sheep. I love sheep.

And then yesterday I came across this article, and of course my mind circled right back to that solar punk concept. And I realized that I could include that culture in my Space Rats universe. And it actually solves a plot problem I was having. Plus sheep in space!

To summarize, I wrote a short story spending an idea I’d been holding onto for a while about refugees trapped on a refugee camp space station. I spun off from that a solar punk concept, later I wrote an urban fantasy that spawned a futuristic urban fantasy in space thing. Which gave me an idea about pets in space. I wrote about that. Which has now led me back into the world of that original short story.

And I remember that I used to hesitate to write short stories because I worried about wasting ideas.

Now I know better. Ideas aren’t wasted when you use them. They may grow beyond your wildest expectation, or they may wither, but either way, new ideas will grow from the seeds of the old. And the only way to get those seeds is to plant them and see what happens.

[jaynecygan]

On the Heart [NEW FIC]

Title: On the Heart

Fandom: Mo Dao Zu Shi 

Summary: Song Lan makes true of his words. He goes wherever, roaming the world with ShuangHua, exorcising evil.

Along the way, he crosses path with Wen Ning.

Rating: T

Pairing(s): Song Lan/Xiao XingChen, one-sided!Wei WuXian/Wen Ning. 

Warnings: Body horror... I guess?? 

Notes: This is basically a fic where Song Lan and Wen Ning meet and they compare stories. 

.

The sun is no longer up in the sky.

It is in the middle of that transition between day and night, where a large patch of the sky is already dark and littered with stars, yet the edges still bleed red from the sun. Its final light slips through the forest, reaching Song Lan, before it slowly tapers off as the darkness descends to surround.

Beside him, the river’s stream flows, downwards, southbound. The dome of the forest envelops him with the trees’ silence, with the distant cries of birds and the starting wake of nocturnal animals.

It has been a long time since Yi City.

.

[AO3]

[jaynecygan]

 So You Want to Name a Sino: A Guide to Not Making a Fucking Fool of Yourself

Note: this will be long and very, very extensive because god I am so sick of this shit 2k16 I just want absolution and I don’t think that’s too much to ask, and even if it is I’m asking it, I’m not asking it emptyhanded I’m asking it with a WHOLE GUIDE FOR YOUR PERUSAL, because I’ve found that Wiki’s great if you want to know why and how we use names and not really great for when you actually want a name.

A theme of this blog seems to be my long suffering, and I want it known, recorded, carved in stone that as of almost 1:00AM on Thursday, December 22nd, 2016, I am officially Fed Up with the way Sino characters are named in fiction.

Let us be clear: this is first and foremost An Attack™* on all the white authors whose imaginations can only extend so far to provide us with a glut of Lings and Linglings and Ailings (not that those aren’t beautiful names) and Peonies and Pearls and, god forbid they start getting creative with their Sachas and their Wai-maes, but this is also for the Sino authors who can’t seem to do it either. And like, I get it. It’s not easy. Sinos are a disparate bunch with varying degrees of fluency in varying dialects of Chinese. Romanisation and naming customs are weird.

But also can we leave the idea of the inscrutable mysterious unknowable East in the 20th century please? There are resources. This is one of them. Let’s start before I steep for too long in my own bitterness and annoyance.

Keep reading

[jaynecygan]

[NEW DRABBLE]

Title: -

Fandom: Fate/Zero, Fate/Stay Night, Fate Grand Order.

Summary: In which Kirei contemplates his relationship with Gilgamesh.

Rating: T

Pairing(s): Kirei/Gilgamesh.

Warnings: Mentions about killing and being killed.

Notes: Takes place in Fate/Stay Night timeline. Yeah so I like Gil and Enki but the UST between this priest and Gil was really woo. Can’t resist.

.

Gilgamesh laughs and Kirei forgets whatever he’s about to say.

He can’t remember either way. Not when Gilgamesh smirks and tilts back his head that way, uncaring if he is baring his throat to Kirei's sight. Not when he is grinning as though he held all the answer to the universe, and that grin was all that he was willing to give. Not when the red of his eyes glint as though rubies reflecting the light. Not when sunlight falls from the windows of the chapel, burning a mirage of halo onto the back of his head.

And when Gilgamesh walks toward Kirei in that student uniform of his, looking years younger than he is supposed to be, light shifting behind him until his hair, too, shines golden within it; Kirei finally thinks, that’s all Gilgamesh will ever be.

Gilgamesh ten years after The Fourth Holy Grail War is still the same as Gilgamesh back at the first time he met Kirei. All golden. All glorious. All beautiful. He itched a way within Kirei’s soul until that existence of his is one that entangles Kirei.

It went back even before Emiya Kiritsugu destroyed Fuyuki with fire and Kirei woke up finding Gilgamesh before him, manifested in flesh, and they finally kissed in hunger and want and everything that burned in the hollow where Kirei’s heart used to be. It went back to the first of their meeting, even before Kirei found Gilgamesh loitering around in his winery. It went back to the first time Kirei saw Tohsaka Tokiomi summon an existence more ancient than his comprehension, first time Kirei laid eyes upon the form that was the King of Heroes.

Kirei just never thought of the consequences, until now.

Gilgamesh could live a hundred years more and he would still be golden. His existence is one of permanence. He would remain this way forever as he is in Kirei’s mind: a king who possesses the garden of the world; an existence that is more than human’s.

On another hand, Kirei has aged.

He ten years before is not the same as he is now. He’s older. Perhaps wiser. Despite the hollow in his chest, there is something to look forward to when he wakes up every day. There is grey in the strands of his hair now. There are new wrinkles he finds each time he looks upon a mirror.

Kirei wonders how much longer they can make this last. Whatever they have between them. This connection.

One day, Gilgamesh will wake up and find the sight of Kirei lacking. Will wake up and find that he no longer needs Kirei. And perhaps by that time, Kirei will grow to be so undesirable, that Gilgamesh will finally find it in himself to kill him.

Perhaps, but not now.

Now, Gilgamesh has walked even closer to Kirei, until the close distance makes Kirei reach out with familiarity, and finally his arms are holding Gilgamesh by the hips.

Now, Gilgamesh is before of him.

“What are you thinking about, mm?”

Gilgamesh stares down at him, glorious and beautiful and everlasting. His gaze is one that burns.

“The future,” Kirei finally answers.

Gilgamesh’s smirk widens. He bends down, until the golden of his hair brushes over Kirei’s, until Kirei is close enough to see that the red in Gilgamesh’s eyes is of blood instead of gems, until both their lips are only a breath away.

“Sounds boring,” he says, eyes glinting, before leaning forward, capturing Kirei in a kiss.

[jaynecygan]

so it's been a really good month for bsd fans since we got so many blessed contents from asagiri. im just really happy abt this, since it feels like i have something to get excited abt, finally. on another note, am thinking abt writing more rarepair content for bsd.

[jaynecygan]

An Irreversible Reaction [NEW FIC]

Title: An Irreversible Reaction

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Summary: Tanizaki and Atsushi grow closer together since the day of Atsushi's entrance examination. This brings up several revelations.

Rating: G

Pairing(s): Mutually pining Atsushi/Tanizaki (Junichirou).

Warnings: Mentions of past child abuse, mild hurt/comfort, but this is very fluffy!! Tanizaki is going through lengths to make Atsushi feel accepted in ADA!! Pre-slash.

Notes: They are very awkward around each other, fumbling and blushing. Tanizaki and Atsushi bond over their sisters.

.

For as long as Tanizaki can remember, he has taken care of Naomi since they were at a very young age.

The concept of loneliness has never been an issue to him; only a mere impermanence, floating in and out as if the clouds on a sunlit sky. He has Naomi. She is a constant presence in his life that alleviates the swelling of emptiness when it does happen. Even after Light Snow had manifested, even after his parents had kicked him to the curb and shut the door to his face in fear of having a child-monster; Naomi didn't do any of that.

.

[AO3]

[jaynecygan]

Writing Traumatic Injuries References

So, pretty frequently writers screw up when they write about injuries. People are clonked over the head, pass out for hours, and wake up with just a headache… Eragon breaks his wrist and it’s just fine within days… Wounds heal with nary a scar, ever…

I’m aiming to fix that.

Here are over 100 links covering just about every facet of traumatic injuries (physical, psychological, long-term), focusing mainly on burns, concussions, fractures, and lacerations. Now you can beat up your characters properly!

General resources

WebMD

Mayo Clinic first aid

Mayo Clinic diseases

First Aid

PubMed: The source for biomedical literature

Diagrams: Veins (towards heart), arteries (away from heart) bones, nervous system, brain

Burns

General overview: Includes degrees

Burn severity: Including how to estimate body area affected

Burn treatment: 1st, 2nd, and 3rd degrees

Smoke inhalation

Smoke inhalation treatment

Chemical burns

Hot tar burns

Sunburns

Incisions and Lacerations

Essentials of skin laceration repair (including stitching techniques)

When to stitch (Journal article—Doctors apparently usually go by experience on this)

More about when to stitch (Simple guide for moms)

Basic wound treatment

Incision vs. laceration: Most of the time (including in medical literature) they’re used synonymously, but eh.

Types of lacerations: Page has links to some particularly graphic images—beware!

How to stop bleeding: 1, 2, 3

Puncture wounds: Including a bit about what sort of wounds are most likely to become infected

More about puncture wounds

Wound assessment: A huge amount of information, including what the color of the flesh indicates, different kinds of things that ooze from a wound, and so much more.

Home treatment of gunshot wound, also basics More about gunshot wounds, including medical procedures

Tourniquet use: Controversy around it, latest research

Location pain chart: Originally intended for tattoo pain, but pretty accurate for cuts

General note: Deeper=more serious. Elevate wounded limb so that gravity draws blood towards heart. Scalp wounds also bleed a lot but tend to be superficial. If it’s dirty, risk infection. If it hits the digestive system and you don’t die immediately, infection’ll probably kill you. Don’t forget the possibility of tetanus! If a wound is positioned such that movement would cause the wound to gape open (i.e. horizontally across the knee) it’s harder to keep it closed and may take longer for it to heal.

Broken bones

Types of fractures

Setting a broken bone when no doctor is available

Healing time of common fractures

Broken wrists

Broken ankles/feet

Fractured vertebrae: Neck (1, 2), back

Types of casts

Splints

Fracture complications

Broken noses

Broken digits: Fingers and toes

General notes: If it’s a compound fracture (bone poking through) good luck fixing it on your own. If the bone is in multiple pieces, surgery is necessary to fix it—probably can’t reduce (“set”) it from the outside. Older people heal more slowly. It’s possible for bones to “heal” crooked and cause long-term problems and joint pain. Consider damage to nearby nerves, muscle, and blood vessels.

Concussions

General overview

Types of concussions 1, 2

Concussion complications

Mild Brain Injuries: The next step up from most severe type of concussion, Grade 3

Post-concussion syndrome

Second impact syndrome: When a second blow delivered before recovering from the initial concussion has catastrophic effects. Apparently rare.

Recovering from a concussion

Symptoms: Scroll about halfway down the page for the most severe symptoms

Whiplash

General notes: If you pass out, even for a few seconds, it’s serious. If you have multiple concussions over a lifetime, they will be progressively more serious. Symptoms can linger for a long time.

Character reaction:

Shock (general)

Physical shock: 1, 2

Fight-or-flight response: 1, 2

Long-term emotional trauma: 1 (Includes symptoms), 2

First aid for emotional trauma

Treatment (drugs)

WebMD painkiller guide

Treatment (herbs)

1, 2, 3, 4

Miscellany

Snake bites: No, you don’t suck the venom out or apply tourniquettes

Frostbite

Frostbite treatment

Severe frostbite treatment

When frostbite sets in: A handy chart for how long your characters have outside at various temperatures and wind speeds before they get frostbitten

First aid myths: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Includes the ones about buttering burns and putting snow on frostbite.

Poisons: Why inducing vomiting is a bad idea

Poisonous plants

Dislocations: Symptoms 1, 2; treatment. General notes: Repeated dislocations of same joint may lead to permanent tissue damage and may cause or be symptomatic of weakened ligaments. Docs recommend against trying to reduce (put back) dislocated joint on your own, though information about how to do it is easily found online.

Muscular strains

Joint sprain

Resuscitation after near-drowning: 1, 2

Current CPR practices: We don’t do mouth-to-mouth anymore.

The DSM IV, for all your mental illness needs.

Electrical shock

Human response to electrical shock: Includes handy-dandy voltage chart

Length of contact needed at different voltages to cause injury

Evaluation protocol for electric shock injury

Neurological complications

Electrical and lightning injury

Cardiac complications

Delayed effects and a good general summary

Acquired savant syndrome: Brain injuries (including a lightning strike) triggering development of amazing artistic and other abilities

Please don’t repost! You can find the original document (also created by me) here.

[jaynecygan]

welcome!!!!!! this is long overdue. i’ve been promising myself i’d made this forever. so here it is - the ultimate masterpost of wlw (women loving women) books. not all characters are lesbians, some are bi or pan, though all books feature f/f relationships and/or themes. there are 150+ recommendations, so enjoy!

YOUNG ADULT CONTEMPORARY:

the miseducation of cameron post by emily m. danforth

keeping you a secret by julie anne peters

grl2grl by julie anne peters

lies my girlfriend told me by julie anne peters

far from xanadu by julie anne peters

rubyfruit jungle by rita mae brown

annie on my mind by nancy garden

kissing kate by lauren myracle

everything leads to you by nina lacour

dare truth or promise by paula boock

gravel queen by tea benduhn

her name in the sky by kelly quindlen

tell me again how a crush should feel by sara farizan

no one needs to know by amanda grace

my best friend, maybe by caela carter

dirty london by kelley york

ask the passengers by a.s. king

empress of the world by sara ryan

pages for you by sylvia brownrigg

waiting in the wings by melissa brayden

breathing underwater by lu vickers

hood by emma donoghue

between you & me by marisa calin

starting from here by lisa jenn bigelow

about a girl by sarah mccarry

the flywheel by erin gough

the necessary hunger by nina revoyr

the house you pass on the way by jacqueline woodson

about a girl by joanne horniman

gravity by leanne lieberman

another life altogether by elaine beale

great by sara benincasa

the gravity between us by kristen zimmer

taking flight by siera maley

the road to her by k.e. payne

the summer i wasn’t me by jessica verdi

unspeakabe by abbie rushton

beauty of the broken by tawni waters

read me like a book by liz kessler

starring kitty by keris stainton

holding back by mila kerr

cam girl by leah raeder

not otherwise specified by hannah moskowitz

an unstill life by kate larkindale

look both ways by alison cherry

a story of now by emily o’beirne

my summer of love by helen cross

marionette by t.b. markinson

the difference between you and me by madeleine george

the bermudez triangle by maureen johnson

girl walking backwards by bett williams

FANTASY/PARANORMAL/SCIENCE FICTION:

the dark wife by sarah diemer

twixt by sarah diemer

the witch sea by sarah diemer

sugar moon by sarah diemer

far by sarah diemer

carmilla by joseph sheridan le fanu

ash by malinda lo

huntress by malinda lo

adaption by malinda lo

the traitor baru cormorant by seth dickinson

karen memory by elizabeth bear

bleeding earth by kaitlin ward

lady knight by l.j. baker

the second sister by rae d. magdon

wild by meghan o’brien

santa olivia by jacqueline carey

everafter by nell stark

iron & velvet by alexis hall

silver kiss by naomi clark

with her body by nicola griffith

ammonite by nicole griffith

the windup girl by paolo bacigalupi

a harvest of ripe figs by shira glassman

seven by jennifer diemer

braided by elora bishop

crumbs by elora bishop

labyrinth by pearl north

the drowning girl by caitlin r. kiernan

the red tree by caitlin r. kiernan

the big lie by julie mayhew

the first twenty by jennifer lavoie

the girl in the road by monica byrne

every dark desire by fiona zedde

CRIME/MYSTERY/THRILLER:

black iris by leah raeder

dangerous girls by abigail haas

far from you by tess sharpe

slow river by nicola griffith

the blue place by nicola griffith

stay by nicola griffith

vanished by e.e. cooper

keepers of the cave by gerri hill

hunter’s way by gerri hill

child of doors by j.s. little

scars by cheryl rainfield

trust me, i’m trouble by mary elizabeth summer

out of order by casey lawrence

reconstructing amelia by kimberly mccreight

vicious little darlings by katherine easer

HISTORICAL:

the paying guests by sarah waters

tipping the velvet by sarah waters

affinity by sarah waters

the night watch by sarah waters

fingersmith by sarah waters

the price of salt by patricia highsmith (also known as carol)

wildthorn by jane eagland

silhouette of a sparrow by molly beth griffin

lies we tell ourselves by robin talley

patience & sarah by isabel miller

the hours by michael cunningham

the well of loneliness by radclyffe hall

mrs dalloway by virginia woolf

the world unseen by shamam sarif

map of ireland by stephanie grant

hild by nicole griffith

honey girl by lisa freeman

letters never sent by sandra moran

fall on your knees by ann-marie macdonald

the last nude by ellis avery

the teahouse fire by ellis avery

olivia by dorothy strachey

the friendly young ladies by mary renault

moon at nine by deborah ellis

the marriage recital by katharine grant

the crimson ribbon by katherine clements

the other typist by suzanne rindell

days of grace by catherine hall

desert of the heart by jane rule

ADULT FICTION:

sing you home by jodi picoult

and playing the role of herself by k.e. lane

i can’t think straight by shamim sarif

stone butch blues by leslie feinberg

curious wine by katherine v. forrest

the color purple by alice walker

jericho by ann mcman

oranges are not the only fruit by jeanette winterson

gut symmetries by jeanette winterson

why be happy when you could be normal? by jeanette winterson

written on the body by jeanette winterson

where we belong by catherine ryan hyde

at the water’s edge by harper bliss

behind the green curtain by riley lashea

96 hours by georgia beers

all that matters by susan x. meagher

give me a reason by lyn gardner

ice by lyn gardner

my last season with you by s.v.c. ricketts

taking the long way by lily r. mason

nightwood by djuna barnes

living at night by mariana romo-carmona

choices by nancy toder

cassandra at the wedding by dorothy baker

landing by emma donoghue

stir-fry by emma donoghue

pitifully ugly by robin alexander

COMICS BOOKS/GRAPHIC NOVELS:

blue is the warmest colour by julie maroh

fun home by alison bechdel

dykes to watch out for by alison bechdel

honor girl by maggie trash

skim by mariko tamaki

potential by ariel shrag

strangers in paradise by terry moore

NON-FICTION:

odd girls and twilight lovers by lillian faderman

surpassing the love of men by lillian faderman

chloe plus olivia by lillian faderman

to believe in women by lillian faderman

sapphistries by leila j. rupp

inseparable by emma donoghue

passions between women by emma donoghue

dear john, i love jane by candace walsh

a woman like that by joan larkin

aimee & jaguar by erica fischer

the femme mystique by leslea newman

boots of leather, slippers of gold by elizabeth lapovsky kennedy

different daughters by marcia m. gallo

between women by sharon marcus

charity and sylvia by rachel hope cleves

lesbian culture: an anthology by julia penelope

alice + freda forever by alexis coe

behind the mask by matthew dennison

[jaynecygan]

Three Things a Writer Should Always Remember...

1. What the Story is About — This should go without saying, but occasionally writers do forget what kind of story they started out with and write an ending that belongs to a different genre. It’s an incredibly dissatisfying experience for a reader. For example, the critically praised movie The Dark of the Sun begins as a very interesting adventure story about a mercenary racing Congo rebels for a treasure in diamonds. However, the end of the movie forgets the plotline and concentrates exclusively on the main character’s internal journey. The ending forgets to answer critical questions (such as, did the rebels catch up with him? did he get away with the diamonds? did he make the deadline set by his employers?). The questions setup by the Inciting Incident at the beginning must be answered by the ending Climax. 2. Who Needs to Change — This is subtler than the first item on the list, but just as vital to reader satisfaction. The problem doesn’t even look like a problem for probably half the story, but it comes into glaring relief at the end. For example, suppose the story focuses on how the main character can’t let go of the past, and how her inability to let go of the past creates problems between her and her children. Her children tell her to move on with her life, other characters tell her to let go… naturally, readers assume character growth for her will be her letting go of the past and moving on with her life. That’s the happy ending readers expect, it’s what they focus their emotions on and root for to happen. But, no! The writer forgets who needs to change. At the end, the children suddenly change and everybody lives happily ever after. Because this is not the ending anticipated, readers experience an emotional disconnect from the resolution. If a story makes a big deal about a certain character flaw in the protagonist, that needs to be the area of change at the end. 3. Actions Have Consequences — If events don’t have consequences, then they don’t belong in the story. Protecting the chain of cause-and-effect logic is what saves readers from confusion. For example, suppose the main character is a superspy who goes on a mission to recover important computer data. There’s a big, exciting scene where she gets the data—lots of conflict, lots of nail-biting suspense. When she gets back, it turns out the data is worthless. This is a simple goal-defeated-by-obstacle moment, but without a consequence (such as, her partner is injured and can’t join her next mission) it could be removed from the story without being missed. The same could be said of a character-driven story where the heroine discusses her plight with friends, then goes home and discusses it with her family, then goes on vacation and discusses it with the hotel staff. Unless each dialogue scene has a unique consequence, it’s just so much stuffing and not enough turkey.