jcmieknight-blog

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-- diana knight.

“Hey, I thought you left—” She began with confusion lacquering her words before the older Knight drew her into his embrace, her own palms splaying across the expanse of his back as they held one another for several moments. This felt like Jamie. The older brother whom she admired with every fibre of her being, the one that aspired to law school dreams and could display his affection for her at a moment’s notice. For the briefest second, Diana could feel herself transported to their lives before tragedy struck, but the scent of alcohol staining his clothes removed her nostalgia as quickly as it came. “What’s going on, Jamie?” Pulling out of his arms, her expression flooded with concern, a brown eyed gaze attempted to search his own for answers.

               Ignoring the words that fell from his sisters mouth, Jamie tightened his grip around the woman in hopes that the alcohol didn’t move onto his dress shirt and ruin the moment he desperately needed after the meltdown he allowed himself to undergo. It wasn’t until she yanked herself away from his grip that the reality of what had happened around them came rushing back, all of it at once as his mind wandered towards his parents grave site once again. “I saw mom and dad,” he whispered, slowly backing up to rest against the side of the house, hands moving down to rest in his pockets. “I don’t ---- I didn’t mean to, but it happened and I just --- I’m letting you down,” he said quietly before finally looking up at his sister. “I know saying sorry isn’t going to cut it, I fucked up, I am fucked up. I’m your older brother and I’m acting younger than you and I’m sorry.”

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               Why he decided going back to the party was beyond him, why he couldn’t just wait for Wren to bring Diana home wasn’t something he would ever be able to answer on his own. His insides crawled as he pushed his sobering up body towards the backyard of the Gautier residence once again, his suit coated in beer and his eyes bloodshot from the amount of tears that fell down his face from previous events. Stopping once he saw his sister standing on the porch, looking as beautiful as she could with her hair so natural and how the moonlight was taking over her skin, his heart aching even more as he realized how much he managed to let her down. “Hey,” he said quietly as he stepped closer to her, pulling his suit jacket off before grabbing onto her arm and pulling her into a hug, tears forming in his eyes once again as he felt his younger sibling in his arms for the first time since his parents death.

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Jamie had not always been set for failure, he had made goals at a young age and managed to be one of the most caring and outgoing person known around Salem’s. Drinking hadn’t been something he enjoyed and his location in New York was only for school and school only. Jamie had never given into temptation, during down the drugs while his girlfriend at the time indulged in the life of the reckless while Jamie focused solely on school and keeping up with his family over Skype or phone-calls. Jamie had been a family oriented person, someone that people looked up to and someone that people actually enjoyed being around because of his smile and hopeful future that not many seemed to have in a place filled with supernatural beings.

It started with the phone-call, his whole body came crashing to a pile on the floor as the person on the other line became just a whisper in the wind that wasn’t blowing at him, but around him much like a tornado, just taking him up and throwing him wherever it damn well pleased, as long as it hurt in the end. He wasn’t sure what hurt the most, seeing his baby sister tied to multiple cords or standing by the two holes that his parents were slowly being lowered into, unable to even notice anyone that would touch his shoulder to state how sorry they were. Numbness didn’t even come to mask the pain, the pain was a constant in the male’s mind, knowing that his own demons and thoughts in his head were enough to push him over an edge that he couldn’t bring onto his family.

Jamie had always been the shoulder that people cried on, someone that they could count on when things went in the wrong direction and try to help pick them up with his words and happy outlook on life, but when it came to the death of his parents and the possible death of his youngest sibling, it was something that caused Jamie to snap, snap to a point where even his siblings couldn’t get him out of the bed or stop the holes that made their way into his wall for his own selfish blame that echoed in his mind every second of the day. Hatred, that’s what his sadness turned into, hatred and anger and it was enough to cause him to turn to something in hopes to numb the feelings. Snapping at his younger siblings, especially Diana, wasn’t something that he would normally do, not over something none of them had control over, none of them had been the person in the other car that recklessly decided to take not one, but almost three people away from the male.

Popping the cap off the beer bottle he managed to take from the Gautier’s party, his hand lifted up over his head as an indication that he was thankful for Maddox who was standing and watching from afar behind him, still being engulfed by the happiness in the large home and the music that drowned out mostly any feeling or thought that people would have. Staggering his way past the backyard of the party, he took a long gulp of the beer from the bottle, careless about the few drips that managed to fall down from his lips and onto the tux he had hoped to return the next day for a money return, money that would’ve been spent towards nothing but alcohol in the long run. Without a place in mind, Jamie stopped on his tracks as he looked around him and noticed the gate towards the Salem’s Point cemetery, the one place in town that Jamie hadn’t been to since the death of his parents, never once visiting their grave site because of the numbness that now took over, the lack of care in his veins about their death.

Rolling his eyes at nothing that was around him, he staggered his way past the gate as he looked around him, praying that something chaotic would be shown to him as he walked along the grass, feet trying to form a straight line but failing as the seconds past, hand holding onto the beer bottle and moving up to his lips once in a while in order to get the water tasting alcohol in his system, his other hand reaching out to grab onto anything he could in order to say upright as he say the small alleyway on the other end of the cemetery, something he used to dare Savannah to take as a shortcut towards the other side of the trail of trees that hung over the opening as if a warm hug in a dark and twisted way.

Finally, his feet managed to fail him and crash his body onto the dampened grass, endless chuckles falling from his lips as he slowly began to pull himself up, beer soaking his suit and probably most of his hair at this rate, and it wasn’t until he looked up that a sense of sobriety rushed over his. His parents names staring back at him as his body rested between the tombstones, heart pounding against his chest as he just knelt there, unable to think about moving and unable to think of words that he could say to a damn piece of rock. Disappointment almost rushed over him, as though his parents were there and screaming at him for his inability to deal with the pain and loss, inability to say no to a single shot of alcohol like he had been taught, to never give into a temptation that would hurt him and those around him. Disappointment for sleeping with his best friend while drunk, and while dating a woman that definitely didn’t deserve the hurt passed onto her from his own selfish need to be destructive. Being destructive enough wasn’t going to bring them back, it wasn’t going to make the past re-do itself and allow them to walk through his front door with options on what to do.

“Fuck you,” he finally spat out, moving his body to stand up once again, almost losing his balance but catching it quick enough to stand up straight to look at the tombstones better, eyes trying to focus on just one but quickly changing between both that it almost made him dizzy just doing so. “Yeah --- yeah, I fucking said it. Fuck you, fuck you for giving up so god damn easily,” he finally began to shout, hand clinging onto the beer bottle so tightly that he was worried that his knuckles would rip through his skin because of it, his body ignited with anger that he hadn’t felt since the week after their burial, anger that he managed to bury so deep down with alcohol that it was intensified from it’s time in hiding. “How ---- fucking dare you, make up look up to you, make us fucking love you for parents and then just leave because you’re incapable for fighting for your god damn life when it was needed the most,” he screamed, other hand raising up to run through his hair. It only made him more angry as the seconds passed, words spurring out with pure hatred towards his parents for refusing to fight for a few more minutes into order to keep the family secure and safe.

“Edward is a fucking doctor, he’s walking around like he’s god damn fine, acting like nothing fucking happened and refusing to even talk to us about it. He’s never fucking around because of work and how the hell am I supposed to take care of Diana and Benji? Huh? How the fucking hell did you expect me to deal with the possible decision to let Blaike go? How fucking selfish of a person do you damn well have to be to put all this fucking stress on one families back?” His voice echoed, anyone in a close radius would hear the meltdown, hear the words that were vibrating their way out of the males mouth as he stood there, his body beginning to shake from the anger that was finally releasing itself out of him, putting the blame on someone else instead of himself fora change, someone that didn’t deserve it but someone that couldn’t scream back at him. “Fuck you, fuck you for making his family deal with not one --- but almost three fucking losses because you guys were weak ass pieces of shit that couldn’t keep their fucking heart beating for a few more minutes!”

It was then that the glass bottle was thrown at the headstones, glass shattering against the top of his father’s tombstone and hitting his mothers in the aftermath, the anger within him slowly drowning against the feeling of sadness. His body slowly fell back to the ground as he let the much needed tears to stream down his face, hands pounding at the ground in anger, pulling out the grass that was so perfectly sectioned around every inch of the grounds in hopes that he would find some type of peace at the imperfection after he finished his clawing. Slowly, his hands began to stop the yanking, falling flat on the damp grass while his body began to shake once again, but this time from the sobs that were ripping through his body as his mind remembered every regret he ever made. It started with dropping out, turned into the anger directed towards his siblings to the drinking, ended with hurting possibly the only woman that would ever love him despite his problems and his incapability to make himself less of a mess in the end. “How the hell could you leave me?” The second eldest Knight finally asked the two tombstones as he moved his body into a sitting position, legs crossed but knees slightly brought up to his chest as he slowly rocked himself forwards and backwards. “How could you leave me?” He repeated in a quieter voice as the tears continued, finally allowing the pain and suffering of his loss take over his body as he should’ve done in the beginning.

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-- maddox chase.

                     As Maddox listened to the ramblings of his friend, waiting for the point of all this to be revealed, the warlock felt his brows nudge closer together when the reveal finally came about. “Who?” he found himself asking before reciting the name mentally. “ — You slept with Savannah? ..Why’d you cheat on Thalia?” it was extremely difficult to keep the disgusted look off of his face at the mention of the Delore, but somehow he managed as he took his mask off and leaned closer to Jamie while processing the confession. “And you chose to tell her in a very public place.”

               “Shut up, you heard me,” the human muttered as he let out a breath he hadn’t noticed he was holding. “I don’t -- fucking know. She went off on my about my drinking again, which is fucking hypocritical of her sine she drank after her fathers death and then stated she was going out of town with fucking Caiden. I got --- fucking hammered with Savannah and shit happened, no excuses,” he muttered before he lifted his own mask and leaned in, knowing it wasn’t a place to talk loudly about the whole ordeal. “What else was I supposed to do? Act as though everything was okay, hold her while dancing to a love song then tell her tomorrow? Then I’d just be a bigger bad guy, I just didn’t assume that she was the type to spill our fucking situation to anyone that looked at her,” he said before rubbing his forehead. “I gotta get the fuck out of here. Think they’ll let me sneak out booze?”

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-- acacia navarro.

“You know I will. That does mean you should tell me what you want before we start pretending though.”

               “Good. Something strong would be highly preferred, not entirely focused on one type of liquor tonight.”

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-- remi valentine.

               “When the clock strikes midnight that’s always when the fun happens, little J. Who knows, perhaps it’ll even be your blood staining the carpet. Until then, care to join me in some heavy drinking?”

                  “With big mouth making her way around, you’re probably not the only person that is thinking of spilling my blood everywhere so please, I give you full access to it first, at least you’ll make my death epic and creative. Is that even a question? What are we drinking?”

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-- lucas astor.

“If I say I lost track of time, would you believe me?” Lucas asked, walking into the main room, “or at least let me buy you a drink to make it up to you?”

                 “Probably not,” he said simply before fixing his suit with a simple tug on the ends of the suit jacket before nodding his head towards the open bar. “You can get me two rounds to make up for the lack of drinking I did.”

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-- marnie briggs.

              “—-I see.” Break up’s were definitely something she knew all too well, Marnie using the moment of silence to take a swig of her own drink. “In my opinion, relationships are overrated as shit anyway.”

               “If we’re being completely honest, I thought they were overrated as well, but I thought I would try it out since the girl was extremely good and probably would’ve been well for me. Only I’m incapable of being responsible for one and it wasn’t exactly a healthy relationship ----on either part.”

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-- savannah delore.

“Right.” Offering a curt nod, she took note of the drink in his hand and though she wasn’t surprised in the least, she might have hoped to catch him sober at some point. “I’ll leave you to it then.”

                 Finally looking up at the woman, he could feel his insides twist together at how beautiful she managed to make herself look, causing his mind to fog once again before he tore his eyes away. “You don’t wanna be seen with me anyways,” he muttered as he leaned back in his chair. “My father always taught me to own up to my mistakes, to never wait to talk about them because it was like leading people on or making them believe other stories or even find out from others around them. I did as I was taught, but he never fucking warned me that women have big mouths and tell a whole fucking town what the hell you did in order to get sympathy.”

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-- caiden shaw.

“See you’ve already started on the hard stuff.” If he wasn’t attempting to keep a level head that night, Caiden would have likely gone right for it as well. As it were, he’d chosen to stick with beer — for the time being.

                 “Since when do I start with the light stuff?” He asked before taking another gulp of the alcohol that was in his glass, eyes scanning the area around him although his eye sight was beginning the blur from the alcohol he managed to consume.

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-- ethan delore.

“There’s a difference between feigning happiness and broadcasting your negative feelings for the world to see. Coming here to pout in the corner when you could’ve stayed home just drags everyone down with you. Save your toxicity for yourself, Jamie, don’t involve the rest of us.”

                “Wasn’t broadcasting anything, I literally just said what I preferred. I’m not trying to drag anyone down, and please stop singling me out when there are multiple people around here that are grumpy as all hell, yet I’m the only one getting cornered out. Don’t want to involve the rest, not my fault if people find the need to try and fix me.”

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-- kevin white.

“Okay, fair enough. Let’s hope one of the ten of me gets you into a cab at the end of the night.”

                “No need, I can walk from here since I’m only a few blocks anyways. Staggering home leads to fun stories in the morning.”

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-- vada farmiga.

“I think we can call it a tie, for the night.” She nodded, her finger circling the rim of her glass when she set it back down, “Is it safe to say I feel like the worst mother ever, even though I’m doing this for her? I mean she would have loved to helped me get ready and watch me leave… but she couldn’t do any of that.” She sighed, “I’m sorry.. I know you don’t really care about any of my self loathing right now, but uh… I don’t see you giving me that pitiful I’m so sorry look. I hate that look.”

                “Right,” he said quietly before raising his eyebrow over at the woman, his insides cringing at her ability to ask him for his honest opinion. “If we’re being honest, I don’t really care what the hell you are in the end. I do, however, think you should be with your child now instead of dressing up and coming to this damned thing with her attacker probably hidden behind a mask and refusing to give mercy. Doesn’t make you a shit mom, though. Just makes you someone that is trying to find a distraction in a world of shit.”

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-- camilla chavez.

❝ Oh come one, I hear I am not bad company. What’s your poison? ❞

               “Anything that’s strong enough to knock me on my ass.”

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-- evelyn maxwell.

“Do you think that Canada has bankruptcy jail?”

               “Wouldn’t doubt it, it’s Canada so they have everything.”

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-- maddox chase.

              “Because the giant neck tattoo isn’t noticeable at all.” the warlock commented cheekily at his friend’s lack of observation as he now sat down, brows rising slightly at Jamie’s words. “Are we calling it that on past mistakes or have yo gone and done something else? Besides, I’m here now —— and you know I’m a winner.” 

                 “I can’t see anything in this stupid fucking mask that I managed to actually wear to please the gods.” He muttered before looking over at his only other good friend next to Savannah, shaking his head at the words directed to him with a chuckle. “Past and present. I’m shocked you haven’t heard because I’m pretty sure that Thalia has managed to tell the whole fucking party at this rate. I tried to be the good guy and tell her right after it happened but yet it back-fired by her thinking the whole population needed to know our business. I fucking slept with ‘Vannah.”