jessicaabuscemi

[jessicaabuscemi]

Sketch #1

For my sketch I decided to depict an eye. For eyes express emotions like sadness, happiness, etc. However, you never know the internal struggles someone is going through until you put yourself in their position, see through theyre point of view. That is why I think an eye is a good representation of mental health.

[jessicaabuscemi]

Interview #2

This interview was conducted between myself and a 42 year old women.

me:

For this interview i’m just going to be asking you a few questions about mental health.Try to answer open and honestly describing your feelings and emotions.

1. What was your mental state before the pandemic ?

participant:

I was scared when the pandemic first happened because of my mom as who I take care of everyday could possible get it.

me:

2. At what age did you feel you were at your lowest mentally?

Why?

participant:

Once the pandemic hit and we were in lockdown for 2 months, that’s when I was at my lowest. The world had been shut down for so long and the new normal was so lonely.

me:

3. What would you describe as your current mental state?

participant:

Currently I am doing better. I work part time and still am able to take care of my family and my mom. We have been living through this for so long that I am getting use to the new normal.

me:

4. When in your life do you feel your mental health was at its peak?

Why?

participant:

The peak of my life was when I was raising my children and we were free to go out into the world not scared. Those days were fun and I could socialize as much as I wanted to with friends and family.

me:

5. What did you find most helpful to get you through mental obstacles?

participant:

The most helpful thing to me was having my husband and children with me. My family and I were able to keep each other company and it made us grow closer. Even on days where life felt so different and bad, I knew that no matter what as long as I had them with me I would make it through anything.

From this interview, I can take away the key point that all people go through challenges in their life. No matter what age, race, gender, etc. Everyone faces mental health issues in their life from time to time and it is completely normal. Although, just because it happens we should not let it take control of our lives. We must find ways to overcome our problems and be happy. Through family, friends, activities, anything can be your anchor to get you through the hard times. Just keep pushing through, because there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

[jessicaabuscemi]

Birthday Blues #4

Tuesday, December 1st

It’s Tuesday, December first. Nine days before my birthday, I should be ecstatic. Instead, I spend my countdown to nineteen very stressed. Not only is December the month of birthdays and holidays, but also the end of the semester which means it’s also exam week. The stress of exams is usually always a big burden, but this year is different. Back in highschool exams were never around my birthday, nor were they this stressful. I always did very good in school and never felt the stress to study for an exam, or the worry of failing. But this year is no normal year. Not only is college a bigger challenge in general, but with everything online my stress is skyrocketing. My mom comes in my room and asks me what I want to do for my birthday this year. I sit here, silent. I do not really have an answer. There is nothing I can do for my birthday this year. Not only because the stress of exams, but because the effects of Covid. Normally, my family and I go out to dinner and celebrate birthdays, but this year I do not think that will happen. The stay at home is supposed to end on December eighth but I sadly do not see that happening any time soon. With all the stressors in my life bringing me down, it is hard to stay positive sometimes. I need to remind myself that there is a bright side to every situation. Like the situations at hand right now. The positive of exams being my birthday week means we will still be in lock down, which means I will not be able to go out and do anything so I’ll have nothing better to do then stay home and study. Yes, the lockdown does still suck and I won’t be able to go out for my birthday, but that means I’ll get to be home with my family and spend more personal time with them then I would at a restaurant. This year has been hard, and I know the end of it is not going to be any easier. But, I also won’t make it any easier by being negative all the time. Sometimes you have to think of all the good, it’s better than pouting and stressing over the things you can not control. Because at the end of the day all you have is your mental health and though you may not be able to fully control it, you can have a say in how you want to direct it.

[jessicaabuscemi]

Ethnographic Photo #1

Social distanced yoga at an apple orchard to relieve the stress and give the mind some ease.

[jessicaabuscemi]

Interview #1

I conducted this interview over the phone through messaginng due to covid precautions.

Me (interviewer):

For this interview I’m just going to ask you some questions about your internal thoughts and feelings. Just try to respond honestly about your emotions and how you felt! Im gonna number them off so you can number your responses.

1) Where was your mental state before the pandemic took place?

Friend (participant):

My mental state before covid was good. I had some occasional anxiety but, other than that I was fine.

Me:

2) How did you feel once moving away to college

how did you feel once you were at college?

Friend:

Moving away to college I was super excited because I was going away. I got to experience living on my own and not having my parents around 24/7. I enjoyed the first few weeks at school but eventually because I covid I got a little depressed and missed my friends at home. It was hard making new friends with classes online. I felt lonely at school and beyond stressed.

Me:

3) How did you feel once you officially moved home from college?

Friend:

When I moved home I was very happy. I couldn’t wait to move home and finally be with my friends and family. I also couldn’t wait to leave my toxic room situation at school and once I was home that stress went away and I felt so relieved.

Me:

4) Do you feel going away college improved your mental state?

Why or why not?

Friend:

I think going away to school made things worse just because I had bad roommates and didn’t get to meet new people because of classes online. The only good thing that helped my mental state was joining my sorority. I was very stressed at school and always felt like I carrying around a bag of rocks on my back.

Me:

5) When would you describe to be the lowest time in your life mentally?

Friend:

The lowest time in my life mentally was probably when I had shoulder surgery in 2019. I was struggling through an injury that took me out of soccer and wearing the sling made me feel so ugly. I also felt like a burden with friends and family because I constantly needed help and assistance for 5 weeks. I was sad after being rejected by a guy and then felt ugly because I could barely lift my arm up to do my my hair and makeup. All together it was a rough time in my life and I was pretty sad and frustrated.

Me:

6) As of today where does your mental state rest?

What is the cause of this current state?

Friend:

My mental state now I feel like is better than it was in question 5 but due to covid I’ve had some personal struggles with finding motivation and some other things. I am a worrier so this pandemic has made me worry constantly and stress about everything I do. I also feel like I missed out on so much with freshman year of college and my senior year of high school so I’m dealing with all those emotions. Overall I think with the circumstance of the world right now my mental state is as good as it’s going to get. I try to stay positive and find the good things but somedays it’s hard and that’s okay.

After concluding this interview, I can say that everyone faces struggles in their life. These struggles may cause feelings of sadness or disparity, but you can not allow them to be a block in the road. Out of all the negativity, their is a brighter side to everything. Focusing on the good rather than the bad, can make a huge difference in coping with internal challenges.

[jessicaabuscemi]

Thankful #3

November 26, 10:27 am

It is Thanksgiving day. I just woke up and I head out to the living room. My family is scrambling around the kitchen to get things ready for today, I can already smell the turkey cooking. We normally go to my aunts house to celebrate with my extended family, but due to this years conditions everyone is staying home and staying safe. That means my parents are cooking a whole thanksgiving meal for 7 people on their own. My day is pretty boring in the morning, I just lay in bed, watch tiktoks, and contemplate whether or not I want to start some of my assignments. Today just doesn’t feel the same as normal, and that’s probably because it’s not. Normally by now I’d be showering and doing my hair and makeup and picking out a nice outfit to wear to see my family. Instead, I do nothing in my room in sweat pants looking like a couch potato. I don’t like the feeling of change, I never have. So, I’m going to try to make this holiday as normal as possible. I get up and start my makeup. Then, I throw on a cute sweater and some jeans and even do my hair. I head out to the kitchen to see if my family needs help but by the time I’m done getting ready everything is basically done. It’s 4 pm and we begin dinner. It’s my parents, two sisters and one boyfriend, my brother, and I for dinner. The meal consisted of turkey, and ham for those who don’t like turkey, mashed potatoes, salad, a vegetable casserole, stuffing, pierogies, corn, and green beans. After we finish, we all are just sitting and talking waiting to process our food and prepare for dessert. I asked my mom in advance to buy some cannolis, because that is what I usually have at my aunts house. With the cannolis we also has apple and pumpkin pie. Everything was really good. My sister and her boyfriend live on their own and we don’t see them too often, so when we do we try to make the most of it. She keeps asking to play a board game after we eat, so we do. We get out “What Do You Meme.” Basically like “Apples to Apples” but instead of a green card in the middle it’s a meme. We begin to play at around 10 pm and continue all night until 1 am. As we play we crack jokes and bring up old family memories. Everyone seems so happy. I look around and just enjoy the moment I’m in. I know it was not what I normally expect of the holidays but I must admit it is way better. As I’m sitting here I with just my intermediate family, I realize I enjoy the smaller gatherings much more because it is more personal than a bigger group. When I woke up this morning, I was a little down and glum as to the way this years holiday was going to go. But now I’m happier than I’ve been in a while, just because I spent some quality time with my family. Sometimes that’s all it takes, is the little things. It’s the little things in life that mean the most.

[jessicaabuscemi]

Covid Chaos #2

November 20th,  2:03 pm

Another day, another adventure. This time it’s a Friday. I am heading home from my job at Mod pizza. Tired, but grateful I still have a job, since many others had been temporarily let go due changes from the virus. The sky is light with a slight breeze. I get home and receive a text from a friend asking to get together, I obviously accept. I first shower, change my clothes, and fix my hair. I finish and then we begin heading out a little later than 3 o’clock pm. We’re driving down Hall Road and Schoenherr, passing by not only the Target place, but an ongoing Trump rally. People holding signs and chanting, cars driving by and honking, an event that happens routinely over here. We decide to once again make our habitual trip to Target and just shop around. As we explore our favorite sections first, like clothing, pajamas, shoes, etc., we stumble upon the necessities. We walk down the aisle that normally stores the good such as toilet paper, and see it is all completely empty. Not a single home good in sight. Once again the panic is among the city. After we check out, we leave and make our way to Tacobell for some Baja Blast pops. All we see is an empty lot and a sign saying that the building is temporarily closed due to Covid. We have witnessed a to of empty buildings and closed facilities, because of the pandemic. We reminisce on how much our lives have changed since the current events taking place. Mentioning how upsetting it was to miss out on our graduation, prom, even our first year of college. So much has been taken away.  But then, we can not forget to look at the bright side. How lucky we are to be alive and healthy, and our families as well. Life is crazy, and I feel a sense of nostalgia. Wishing I could go back in time to when things were normal. When I could go to school, see my friends, see my family, without having to worry about putting anyone at risk. I never realized how much I had taken it for granted until it was gone. 

[jessicaabuscemi]

Carpool Confessions #1

November 17th, 8:06 pm

It is a Tuesday night, on November 17th at around 8pm. My two friends and I agree to meet up every Tuesday and Thursday to get together and do homework. We also used to go to the gym, before Covid peaked again. We’re sitting and doing homework, talking throughout the process. One of the girls  I am with mentions she needs to go to Target to return a few things. We head out to the car and play music and sing the whole car ride there. It was dark outside and pretty chilly. When we’re on our way to walk in my friend forgets the item she wants to return in her trunk so we go back to get it.  We go in and  shop around like always, pick up a few things here and there that we know we do not need, but we  want. We finish bagging our items at self checkout and my friend thinks she has lost her keys. We split up and retrace each of the steps we took, none of us finding any keys. She is freaking out, worried she had lost them or someone had stolen them. We decide its best to check her car to see if she left them then when grabbing her returnable. As we try to open the trunk her car alarm goes off. She freaks out even more. She checks all the seats of her car as I try to get the trunk open still. When it finally opens we see her keys lying there under a few bags. Once everything settles we all get in the car and take a moment. She starts talking about how scary that was and how worries she was. Then suddenly the conversation escalated to us talking about our problems. As we sit in the Target parking lot, we all just start spilling out everything on our minds. Stress from school, work, family drama, anxiety, depression, all types of issues we have brought to the surface. Throughout the whole talk, all my focus was on the conversation, not the noise from the music in the background, or the wind brushing against the car, not even the distraction of the world around us. It felt nice to let it all out to someone else who understood. The talk ends and we come to the idea that some taco bell will really relieve the stress of the almost lost keys. Once again, we crank up the music. Playing strictly throwbacks from the early 2000’s. Were all screaming every lyric, dancing, just having fun and enjoying the moment. Times like this make the everyday struggles so much easier. After the food we all head our separate ways, but agree to try to do meet up and do this every week. Not only because we enjoy each others company, but to rid of the stress, drama, and struggle of everyday life and talk about things we have on our minds. I get into my car and head home, with so much weight lifted off my chest.