who am i? wouldn't you like to know, Walmart boy.y'ain't gonna know me that easily.(a jest blog. ish. kinda)(i got an art blog, yknow. fiendish-illos is the name. go there if you wanna see me be deranged about dragons and that fidder-fadder)
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We looked inside some of the posts by jester-jargon and here's what we found interesting.
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Reblog Per Post
94K
Reply Per Post
224
Time Between Posts
5 days
Number of Posts By Type
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17
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me referring to me looking back at a past social interaction: she would not freaking say that. she would not freaking do that. she would not freakign say that. she would not freaking do that. she
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guys please tell me this is an actual thing somewhere for some character i am on my hands and decaying knees begging
#character tropes#ms paint#please guys i have to know#because i will giggle and cackle so much#it's such a specific and likely arbitrary thing but it was so freakign funny to me when i thought about this#please guys
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oh to have a snail and an occasional slug keeping you company on your hat
i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"
#slugs#snails#gastropods#utter joy#rebloggings#i love slugs and snails so so so much guys#they bring me such utter delight it's absolutely wonderfully ridiculous
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sitting on the couch in the living room, shaking like a neurotic prey animal and nearly spilling the glass of milk in my hand: tomorrow will be better because i will make it better. tomorrow will be better because i will make it better. tomorrow will be better because i will make
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can't expect, can't doubt, but a secret third thing (hope)
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just so you know i am not making fun of warrior cats, i'm just a fellow who loves cats and the idea that i could wrap any of the characters in the series in a blanket and watch teenage mutant ninja turtles with them without being any wiser that they could have mass murdered a whole clan and turned the river red with their blood.
listen man. i know almost nothing about warrior cats. i've only ever read, like,,, one (1) singular book and i didnt even finish it.
but ever since i realized that everyone in that series are literally just,, cats, i couldnt take it seriously anymore. they're cats. they're literally kitties. scourge very well could have been taken home by Some Guy and only knew shredding toilet paper and getting stuck on the tops of shelves.
i could literally pick any of them up in my arms and kiss them between the ears. i could name the guy that was supposed to be Crowfeather "Cornelius Von Tango III" and nickname him "Plinky". I could prevent disembowelment and dismembering and drowning and mass murder by giving them catnip and a heated blanket.
"but Grassleaf was a horrible person and---" maybe he would have chilled the blue blazes out if i gave him treats and brushed him.
"but Darkness was an emo murderer and ripped the limbs off of anyone who looked at him weird and---" i could trap him in a towel.
"but Tailpaw ate that guy's ear---" what if i gave him canned food, huh? what if i introduced him to a soft, warm couch? what if i gave him his own spot on my bed and loved him so so so much because he is a cat. these are literal kibby cars.
"but---" shut. i dont care. i literally do not care. a cat is a cat which also just so happens to be a cat. i could trap any of them in the sleeve of a jacket. thank you for coming to my TedTalk.
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listen man. i know almost nothing about warrior cats. i've only ever read, like,,, one (1) singular book and i didnt even finish it.
but ever since i realized that everyone in that series are literally just,, cats, i couldnt take it seriously anymore. they're cats. they're literally kitties. scourge very well could have been taken home by Some Guy and only knew shredding toilet paper and getting stuck on the tops of shelves.
i could literally pick any of them up in my arms and kiss them between the ears. i could name the guy that was supposed to be Crowfeather "Cornelius Von Tango III" and nickname him "Plinky". I could prevent disembowelment and dismembering and drowning and mass murder by giving them catnip and a heated blanket.
"but Grassleaf was a horrible person and---" maybe he would have chilled the blue blazes out if i gave him treats and brushed him.
"but Darkness was an emo murderer and ripped the limbs off of anyone who looked at him weird and---" i could trap him in a towel.
"but Tailpaw ate that guy's ear---" what if i gave him canned food, huh? what if i introduced him to a soft, warm couch? what if i gave him his own spot on my bed and loved him so so so much because he is a cat. these are literal kibby cars.
"but---" shut. i dont care. i literally do not care. a cat is a cat which also just so happens to be a cat. i could trap any of them in the sleeve of a jacket. thank you for coming to my TedTalk.
#warrior cats#cats#i cant take anything seriously anymore#i dont care if it killed millions of people!!! i'm going to pet that cat#“but what if it tries to kill you?” i have opposable thumbs and an intimate knowledge of how boxes and doorknobs work#and also. spray bottle. ksst ksst ksst.#i would literally prevent any crisis in warrior cats if i introduced them to the wonders of the cat brush and warm laundry#do not try to pry this knowledge from my teeth because it is stuck there and you know it's true so i really dont know why you're even tryin
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heavy metal Le Festin is heard in the distance
in this world, it's cook or be cooked
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"I can fix him", i say, gesturing to a whole book series that i grew up on that i've been at war with since i was twelve
#i'm talking about wings of fire btw#i love wings of fire and (most of) its characters with all my heart!! it will always be beloved to me!!!!#but.#the holes#anyways yeah no there are so many things where i go “i could fix this” but then remember. i'm already wrestling with like. 10 books rn#i gotta pace myself for heaven's sake#jester jargon
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what if it GETS her though 😥
#NOOOO I LOVE TOLLY THOOOO#i actually love all of these goobers and their designs#the crocodile gal? the hair of the girls ? (a kind of strange detail to fixate on but i love simple yet fluffy hair styles)#o u g h#absolutely delightful#i adore your comics sm bro#they bring me great and ridiculous amounts of Joy#i wish i could properly convey how much i love seeing your art#but alasss#rebloggings#beautimous art
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you know you love them when you daydream about being bugs together
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shoutout to the girls who cannot for the life of them not chew on lollipops, ring pops, jolly ranchers, gobstoppers, whatever it is that was made to deter the tooth and grow your patience. an impossible feat. a trial made for Hercules himself. you dont need to push that boulder up that hill. bite down on the sucker. it's okay
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love how toucans are literally just
no matter what species, they're just 97% beak and it scratches the right spot in my brain every time
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my skull is a clown car and my brain cells honk their noses.
of course, the engine makes concerning noises sometimes and stops working other times but it's fine. we remain silly as we drive to Silly Town
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i remember being told that i'm too sentimental, that my goodbyes take too long. i linger a moment longer than i should.
no. i can never be too sentimental. i only understand the importance of a good farewell. the beauty of the warmth of a lingering for just a moment longer. one last tight embrace. one last tender look. one last kiss on the temple.
lingering is an art, after all. i've seen beautiful portraits of it, now it's my turn to make some of my own.
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