jezapoof

[jezapoof]

Schlocktober: A Fake Event Where Anything Goes

While other people are out here dropping Kinktober prompt lists with 9000 stipulations, I bring you this.

It's not a real October event, but it could be if you believe. The prompts are here for anyone to enjoy anyway.

Why "schlock"?

It means trash/junk, and that's the quality of content I'm striving for with these prompts. It's also fun to say.

But, y'know, if you want to take a prompt and turn it into a masterpiece of a whumpy longfic, go for it.

What fandom is this for?

Whatever fandom you want.

What ships can I write/draw?

Any of them.

Even [my fandom's most despised ship]?

Especially [your fandom's most despised ship].

What if I want to combine prompts? What if I want to write or draw things out of order? What if...

Go for it.

Are crossovers okay?

Do. Whatever. You. Want.

What if I want to create something problematic?

Send me the fucking link.

What does [prompt] mean?

You tell me. It's all open to interpretation.

Are there any rules at all?

Sure.

No AI use. If you need an LLM to write your schlock for you, consider a long walk off a short pier. If you need it to do your editing for you, use a beta reader instead. A stick figure drawn on the back of a napkin is better than soulless AI art.

Tag appropriately. 'Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings' means anything goes. 'No Archive Warnings Apply' means your work is guaranteed not to contain any of the major archive warnings (non-con, major character death, graphic violence, or underage sex).

No irl bigotry. Your characters can be problematic as all get out, but if you try to post a weird pro-JK Rowling essay or something you're not going in the collection, bud. Don't kill the vibes.

What are the vibes?

Just have fun.

But other people are having fun wrong!

Shut the fuck up.

Are you going to be doing this?

Probably not.

How do I participate?

There's an ao3 collection right here:

Schlocktober on ao3

Otherwise, just hashtag #schlocktober or something, idk. I don't expect anyone to actually do this.

Text version of the prompts under the cut.

Day 1:

Quadruple Fisting

Inappropriate Use of Labubus

Sex-Related Injury

Day 2:

Quesadilla Cocksleeve

Taking Notes During Sex and Grading It

MyPillow Humping

Day 3:

Erotically Burning Hair

Nostril Worship

Fuck or Live

Day 4:

Gap Tooth Kink

Pegging with a Square Peg

Peeling Sunburn

Day 5:

Not Squirting, Not Pee, but a Secret Third Thing

Nipple Sounding

Enemas to Lovers

Day 6:

Defiling a Puritan

Room Temperature Play

Edging on an Edge

Day 7:

Bidets

Too Many Legs

Shallow Throating

Day 8:

Lingerie Made of Crabs

Not Water Sports, but Water Leisure

Masturbation Pollen

Day 9:

Nonconsensual Consent (NCC)

Afterneglect

Last Time

Day 10:

Human Centipeding

Ball Slapping

Fuck or Die Trying

Day 11:

Sex on Meth

Plucking Hair by Hand

Harem on Strike

Day 12:

Second-Hand Creampie

Haggled Use

Age Progression

Day 13:

Cactus Insertion

Antibreeding Kink

Mechanical Bull

Day 14:

Banned on TikTok

Predator/Predator

Prey/Prey

Day 15:

Scissoring with Scissors

Butterplay

Cannon (Artillery) Compliant

Day 16:

Dueling Gloryholes

Inedible Cum

Purple Nurple

Day 17:

Pimple Popping

Lap Riverdance

Pain Without Pleasure

Day 18:

Nonconsensual Soloplay

Weakness Kink

Genital Swap (Not Whole Body)

Day 19:

Chip Clip Nipple Clamps

Spatchcocking

Wound Fucking

Day 20:

Boot Blasphemy

Understimulation

Gamma/Delta/Sigma (G/D/S)

Day 21:

CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Torture)

CBT (Cock and Ball Therapy)

Asparagus

Day 22:

Autocannibalism

Actual Jackhammering

Extrasensory Deprivation

Day 23:

Going in Dry

Aroused by the Smell of Rubber Cement

Sterilization Ritual

Day 24:

Genitals Stuck in Zipper

Ennui Kink

Earwax Wax Play

Day 25:

Actual Handcuffs (They're Under Arrest)

96ing

Sex as a Sedative

Day 26:

Hospice Roleplay

Gas Station Sex Pills

Balls So Blue They're Practically Purple

Day 27:

Extreme Temperature Cockwarming

Promiscuity Cage

Salt Daddy

Day 28:

Sex with Crocs

Anal Toeing

Breaking a Sex Contract

Day 29:

Coming in Someone Else's Pants

Clowns

Cloning Gone Wrong

Day 30:

Lube As Spit

Pet Work

Clear Showers (Character Is Adequately Hydrated)

Day 31:

Pumpkin Seed Snowballing

Candy Apple Coating

Ghost of a Sex Offender

[jezapoof]

me after every conversation: shit they’ll never wanna talk to me again

[jezapoof]

Me: I don't get it. I thought I was doing a lot better than I was a few years ago. I'm like 10 times more on top of things than I used to be. How does everything feel terrible now?

The Tiny Me in OSHA-approved Hi-Vis Gear Who lives in my brain and pulls all the levers: Boss, it's the fascism. You're completely gunked up with cortisol due to the fact that your entire daily life is now underscored with a haunting awareness of the rapid erosion of your rights, dignity, and any and all social safety nets, and you're also bearing witness to the most vulnerable people immediately being persecuted. This creates a natural stress response that basically means you're going to continue having memory and organizational problems, as well as emotional imbalances.

Me: BUT I HAVE A BULLET JOURNAL AND I MEDITATE NOW.

Tiny OSHA Me: BOSS, THE FASCISM.

[jezapoof]

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A hitman who advertises his services the way a commission artist does

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[jezapoof]

author’s notes today: hey guys so just a warning there isn’t 100% explicit verbal consent even though they’re both really into it so remember this is FICTION, also they don’t use a condom :((( but in real life safe sex is important!!! please be safe out there everyone

a/n back in the day: kept thinking about ____ stabbing knives through both of _____’s hands to pin him in place while they fucked so here you go lol =P

[jezapoof]

[jezapoof]

This was my question!! I've been thinking about this for years! So glad I finally got confirmation! 😁

[jezapoof]

Did I mention the DJ Qualls interview was extremely fucking great?

[jezapoof]

Relistening to @monsteroftheweekpodcast all over again results in strange life choices.

[jezapoof]

My fic wife wrote this! She's the best at words. Everyone should immediately read this, and then all of her other fics. 💙💚

Depth of Field

Depth of Field by TessEtc (@tessetc) Rating: Explicit Word Count: 27k

Dean, a professional photographer, is taking photos at the Fourth of July parade when he spots an old man with striking blue eyes across the street. Dean follows him, but before they can speak, the man falls down and dies with his hand in Dean's. Dean feels responsible, and seeks to learn more about the old man, retired doctor Castiel Novak. Dean discovers that Castiel once owned Dean's house, and comes to find an old camera amongst his things. When he takes his own portrait, it sends him hurtling back fifty years to 1962 where he meets a young, handsome, Cas. They can't help falling for each other. But Dean can't stay in 1962. His connection with his brother, Sam, pulls him back to 2012. Determined to see Cas, he uses the camera to return, but each time he travels to the past, it takes a greater toll on his body. Eventually, in order to stay with the man he loves, he has to make a heartbreaking choice.

If you want to read the piniest of the pining trope, read this story. It was sweet, gentle, beautiful, and it ripped my heart out and stomped on it with it's piney needles. Don't worry, there is a happy ending, something so beautiful and hard earned it will make you believe in love in a way you will never recover from.

Dean witnesses the death of an old man who looks at him with the kind of soul-searing understanding that leaves him bereft. He discovers then that his house once belonged to the dead man, and when he starts searching, he finds an old camera and pictures of the old man when he was younger.

Through unexpected and unexplained magic, Dean finds himself transported back into his own living room when he takes a picture of himself with the old camera. He finds himself suddenly looking up into those same blue eyes, but now Castiel Novak is looking back at him from the beautiful face from the pictures.

A connection to his own time calls him back, but Dean returns to Castiel again and again as they fall in love and try to build a life together, but each trip he makes takes a larger and larger toll on his body, pushing him closer to death but True Love calls to him across time. Now he must decide, stay with his family and the life he's known or give up everything for whatever time he might have with the love of his life.

I can't recommend this one strongly enough.

[jezapoof]

If you're thirsty for some more fallout content I have tons of fallout 4 fics to read!

Here start with this f!sole/paladin Danse rom com! Then check my ao3 for more (just scroll past the destiel)

[jezapoof]

someone I follow on the bird app just announced they're starting a very exclusive private fic server because they and a bunch of other people want to talk about how much they love the fics they're reading, and as an author can I just say that a really great place to talk about a fic you love is in the comments for that fic

I understand that people are trying to create safe spaces, but as the number of comments that I get on my fics dwindles with each passing year, knowing these spaces exist where my fics are being discussed, places that I am excluded from, makes me want to write fic LESS

I mean I guess who cares, right, because if I stop writing, there's 10,000 other people that will continue...but if you participate in a fic "book club" server and you say nice things there about a fic you loved, maybe copy and paste that into a comment on AO3?

the only thing fanfic writers are asking for in return for hours of hard work is attention. please don't rob us of the one thing that we hope for when we hit "post"

[jezapoof]

I think about the writers who stopped writing because people went after them.

I think about the new reader who got scared off from commenting because they might say the wrong thing.

I think about the artist who was going to dip their toes in, but saw a blacklist posted and debated in the fandom they so recently were excited about.

I think about all the people who would be here with us, writing meta and squeeing and creating and lifting up creators. Who became ghosts, afraid that to speak up is to stick out your neck.

How many stories won't we get to read, how many pieces of art won't take our breath away, how many comments won't be put in notes or on stories that push us through our blocks... because anger and pettiness and jealousy and aggression are so common in fandoms that so many become ghosts before their time, and the ones who stick through it are still healing from their battle scars?

I mourn all the stories I will never see, all the friends I will never make, all the headcanons that will never bring stars to my eyes.

And I hope that all those who went quiet before they could speak will find a place to be safe, so that one day I may hear their voice.