jimistry

[jimistry]

The Spoons Theory

How many spoons do you have today? 🥄🥄🥄🥄 It's important to disperse them carefully among the tasks you have to accomplish each day to avoid overstimulation, sensory or emotional overload, and burnout.

[jimistry]

everyone on this site like "we LOVE weird genders give me weird genders I love boydykes and girlfags" and then a transfem person with a beard will call herself a lesbian. or a bigender person will identify with being gay in both directions. or a gay man calls his partner his wife. or a butch lesbian connects too closely to manhood for your comfort (or a butch exists, in general). or someone just has a weird and contradictory relationship between their gender, sexuality, and sex in a way that you don't understand

and then you all shit bricks and start sobbing and wailing.

[jimistry]

hey can I bounce and rock on your strap for stimming reasons only of course

[jimistry]

I wish people who would rush a disabled person and give them a hard time for being "slow" a very go die in a ditch.🖕🏼

[jimistry]

can anybody explain to me why people are against mspecs? im very new to the discourse however everything i've seen about mspecs seems perfectly fine to me but i've seen people actively anti mspec and i'd like to know their pov

[jimistry]

While understandable, I think that the visceral panic and hostility towards “contradictory” identities within the queer community is incredibly frustrating at best and damaging at worst. 

The desperation so many queer people have for an objective rulebook of what labels mean and who can use them is just tragic assimilationist fear of deviancy, and an insult to the magnificence of rulebreaking. Historically queer identity has always been inherently subversive and challenging to the hegemonic ideals of cisheteronormative culture. Abject rigid categorisation of an experience that is to its very core antithetical to the standards of society™ seems like it's kind of missing the point.

I think that many younger queers find being faced with the fact that their labels are nothing more than a constructed performance to be scary and confronting, and understandably so. In a world where deviation from the commonly accepted norm can get you killed, having an easy way to explain who you are that you see as the one objective truth without flaw can be comforting. 

But personal invalidation or discomfort is not a reason for a marginalised person to enact the same bigotry they face onto others in an attempt to deflect it. Language is ever evolving, our feelings of queerness came far before we came up with terms like “gay” “lesbian” and “transgender”. The shifting of how we understand these terms and apply them to ourselves over time is inevitable, and I consider the fluidity of these categories not invalidating, but a beautiful thing. There is no “solving” the question of which identities are acceptable and which aren't, anyone who is attempting to do so is fighting a losing battle. Queerness is not something that will ever be able to be pinned down by a checklist of validity. Queerness is more than just “LGBT”.

it is eternal and ethereal.

[jimistry]

So I've had my daily dose of Twitter queer discourse cringe and it's genuinely scary how people are MAD at people with labels and calling them harmful while they're just benefitting people who are actually harmful to the community with this hate

It's terrifying how we're at each other's throats constantly and acting like the very same people who oppress and physically harm the queer community

It's sad

[jimistry]

If anyone out there in the void is wondering, your gender shouldn't be defined by your suffering. You don't have to live a miserable life pretending to be the gender that people think you're "supposed" to be. If you wish you could be trans, you just are. There's no test you have to pass, you don't have to beg and plead to be "allowed" to be trans, you can just be trans.

If you want to be a man/boy, you are one

If you want to be a woman/girl, you are one

If you want to be non binary, you are

If you want to be trans, you are

[jimistry]

no being a lesboy isn’t contagious jeez how many times do i have to tell you this. anyway can you come closer

[jimistry]

Genderfucked

[jimistry]

Okay, so I don’t know if this is just a me thing or what but lemme know if y’all know what I’m talking about. 

There’s this type of grief that comes along with connecting with and building relationships with other queer, specifically genderqueer/fucked people. Because there’s this way that I can talk about gender and all types of shit, there’s this way that I KNOW they can see me, in a way non-queers/lgbtq+s can’t or won’t and it’s BEAUTIFUL. Glorious.

But then the grief comes in. Because there are people you know, people you LOVE, people who you want to love you, who will never see you like that. Who will never connect with you like that. And it’s sad. 

Even with a lot of allies, I can’t connect with them like that. And I love being queer. I love being trans, it’s such an integral part of me. And I WANT people to see it; it’s beautiful! 

Even if they don’t understand it, I want them to see it. But there are so many pieces of me, queer parts of me, genderfucked parts of me, that just get overlooked or ignored by people like that. So again, grief. Because you have to accept that. That they may NEVER see it and it sucks because you want them to. 

I dunno if this makes sense but it’s just been rolling around my brain, so. Yeah. 

[jimistry]

Not all transmascs want to be masculine and not all transfems want to be feminine. Just like not all cis people want to be masculine or feminine. Leave trans people alone.

[jimistry]

okay, can we stop using "they/thems" as a common noun please? it seems to have started on one of the other T apps, but it's becoming more & more frequent on here which is... not great.

i mean, i doubt it's ill-intended but it's still fucking dehumanizing.

they're pronouns, not a label. moreover, not all nonbinary people (who i mention as we are generally who is being referred to) use or are even comfortable with those pronouns, and you can be of any gender & have they/them pronouns. like it's reductive to both the nonbinary identity, & the way pronouns are used on the whole.

stop. like just stop and maybe actually consider nonbinary people and our humanity for once. there are multiple other ways you could refer to us that don't involve minimizing us to a set of pronouns, promise.

[jimistry]

can anybody explain to me why people are against mspecs? im very new to the discourse however everything i've seen about mspecs seems perfectly fine to me but i've seen people actively anti mspec and i'd like to know their pov

[jimistry]

I'm ngl

As a trans man who's also a gaybian fagdyke and wishes another lesbian couod date me, it hurts when other lesbians don't want men (trans men included with cis men, I fully get if you don't want cis men on your page) to interact with their content. I mean. What if the man is a lesbian? A sapphic individual? Has complex intertwinement with his/their/hers/its identity and sexuality and still has a very queer attraction to women?

Like yes I'm a man. I'm on testosterone and I go by he pronouns and present either masc or gnc most of the time. But I still love women and I never got to love women the way I wanted to when I first came out due to homophobia, internalized transphobia, and shame of still having a queer attraction to women for years due to being a trans man. It hurts. I wanna be another lesbian's boyfriend but in the queerest, dykest way possible as a man. I am not a woman. But I'm also not your typical man. I want to love another woman the way I was never loved.

And I'm not shaming lesbians who aren't into men at all. That's fine. But some lesbians are men or are sometimes men. And we don't deserve to be excluded from loving other women and lesbian positivity.

I'm just tired of having to prove myself and being so alone.

[jimistry]

Okay but has anyone ever actually seen a cishet man use mspec lesbians or lesboys as an excuse to be lesbiphobic at all??? Ever??? They generally don't even know they exist, and when they do they sure as hell don't support their identities either in my experience.

Pretty much everyone I've seen use the labels was either to include non fem aligned nonbinary people & masc aligned nonbinary people, or because they themselves where on the nonbinary spectrum. I've never even seen a binary man claim these labels, let alone a cis man. So why exactly are cis men's lesbiphobia being used as a scapegoat to attack other lesbians when those men don't even recognize those lesbians existence?

[jimistry]

it's baffling when terfs say lesboys can't exist because men can't be lesbians when no lesboy ever a cis het man trying to be a lesbian for some. uhh. oppression points? what would be the goal even? why would any cis het man call himself a lesboy when they can just be a cis het man with cis het man privilege? I don't get it lmao

lesboys are historically trans men, transmasc people and gnc and butch lesbians who are connected to being called a boy/man. that's pretty much it?

Yeah TERFs are just overly concerned in general with what other people that have nothing to do with them refer to themselves as, it’s just weird. If someone is being hurt in it, I get it but otherwise gender and sexuality can be “weird” sometimes and mix with each other. I like being called a lesboy tbh, it fucks 🤷🏻

“But I wouldn’t date —“ then don’t lmfao. You don’t have to want to date everyone who identifies in some way as lesbian for them to be valid. They don’t need your seal of approval.