jiraihimitsu

[jiraihimitsu]

if this ever gets posted, i might have quit. i feel so numb i don't even understand myself anymore. just some boring destructive, obsessive nobody with issues in maintaining contact with people because it's scary. there's no wonder why i don't have any friends because i am. just like this.

sorry. i'm sorry for not living up to anyone's expectations of me. suicide? i've been contemplating methods recently, but i'm too much of a coward to ever go through with it. maybe one day. maybe one day it'll end. have an attempt planned this month, hope it works.

i never had any worth to anybody here, nor with people out there to begin with. and that is my fault. it's my fault for never making the effort to do something such as that. no personality that interests anyone, none. everyone i admire have at least something that makes them special, but not i. this wouldn't be the first time i left tumblr, because i remember leaving my first art account because no one cared for my art.

and it stings even more because now, it's due to that no one cares about me. (my fault)

sorry. sorry. sorry. if i ever come back i might get shit on because i couldn't follow through my words on killing myself or quitting. i'm sorry.

[jiraihimitsu]

Mutual possession because owning you doesn't mean anything if im not yours right back. matching blood vials so everyone can see our devotion to one another. a collar around your neck and a bracelet on my wrist to match. marks and brands in our skin permanently so we're always reminded this bond is for life. my hands never straying from your skin around others so nobody even dares to try taking us from one another.

show the world that nobody matters but us.

[jiraihimitsu]

me pretending that im a cis woman outside tumblr because im scared that the people i just made friends with will leave me 😁 (the subject of whenever people refer to me as a girl stresses me out)

[jiraihimitsu]

i assume being deprived of love and affection from a young age turns you into this.

[jiraihimitsu]

no because did he really offer to sing w me are you kiidng me UWUERHBEB I WIN I WOOONNNNNNNN YOUR STUPID GIRL(NOT REALLY A GIRL)FAILURE JIRAI YAN WON

[jiraihimitsu]

kinda feel irritated seeing people say they're a HUGE fan of jirai kei but don't even know or understand the history about it. if you're gonna like it then at least know even something about it other than it's 'cute'???(targeted)

sorry, just my personal thoughts. don't have anything against these people.

[jiraihimitsu]

if you can get past the manipulation, the gaslighting, the controlling tendencies, the extreme jealousy and possessiveness, the homicidal urges, the murder suicide tendencies, wanting to commit suicide together, and so on… i’m a wonderful girlfriend! im the best you’ll ever have, really.

[jiraihimitsu]

i don’t stalk you. i just look. every day. at the same time. like a ritual. it’s not obsession. it’s devotion. (i know the difference. do you?)

[jiraihimitsu]

i finally followed through...

should rlly revamp my blog 💥

[jiraihimitsu]

AHHH WELCOME BACK !!!! :DDDDD

aaahhh hi guys !!!! your angel is back 🙏🙏 cheer !!!!!!!!!!

[jiraihimitsu]

*Sighs dreamily* what a fucking freak

*twirling hair* such a loser

[jiraihimitsu]

I did my best to be lovable.

[jiraihimitsu]

"sorry, i'm a scatterbrain;;;"

"it's okay, i like scatterbrained people because they're on my wavelength"

just admit you like me atp c'mon.

[jiraihimitsu]

if you don't lovebomb me i assume you hate me btw

[jiraihimitsu]

someone pleasepleasepleaseplease pursue me i'm everything you could ever want i have cool interests i'm obsessive i would love you unconditionally i'm obsessive i'm really attractive i'm obsessive sorry did i mention i'm obsessive

[jiraihimitsu]

Man he’s so nice I want him to hit me

[jiraihimitsu]

he somehow messaged when he saw *me* message. hehehehehehehe YOU LOVE ME DON'T YOU!!!!! (pls.)