jjkookiee346

[jjkookiee346]

Can anyone suggest me a good app where I can write along with grammar correction.

English is not my first language so it be very big help

[jjkookiee346]

Is it only mine or ao3 lagging. It's not showing all of tbe results

[jjkookiee346]

[376/547] — until we meet again, jungkook ♡

[jjkookiee346]

STAY A LITTLE LONGER BABE-JJK

Synopsis: people say heartbreak from relationship is difficult but heartbreak from a relationship which barely existed is much more worse

Pairing: jungkook × y/n

Genre: angst

Word count: 5107

Warning: bit of explicit language, mention of public harassment, trust issues,insecurities,longing,

Note: this my first ever fic and English is not my first language so suggestion and remarks are very much welcomed. Story had been bit inspired by personal experience of author and fic is mostly based on y/n pov. Inspired by rosé song stay a little longer.

Going to college after a very long semester break was so much more difficult. I thought waking up would be the most difficult part, but I was definitely wrong. Leaving my house in this cold weather has been much more difficult. 5:30. A.M. indeed looks so dark, and this chilly weather with fog is much, much worse.

Reaching college was nerve-wracking; not seeing any of my friends for almost 4 months is making it feel like I'm all of a sudden a fresher. And reaching my class, I finally see my friend Namjoon.

God, I missed him. We couldn't wait and just started to share how much of a difficulty it was to wake up. Y/N, I'm telling you, this is against human rights for sure! We should just go and file a case against this timing. That rant of his was able to get a giggle out of me. While he was ranting, I heard Perisha and Tina calling me to accompany them to the washroom.

Wtf? Perisha was scared for sure. You are going to make me go deaf, Tina. Tina looked a bit apologetic, but Aisha was going to say more when Tina replied, "You won't like looking at the wall." Holy cow! Finally there was a much-anticipated wall mirror there. I guess we were on a good girl list of Santa's. And there goes the college bell, shit college bell! The way we ran to our class, pretty proud of ourselves After the national anthem and college anthem, my bench partner and I couldn't wait to spill our tea. In the midst of everything, I can't help but look at his bench. A very bad habit. And the feeling of something missing that I can't let go of. Dina, my benchmate, couldn't stop herself and just kept on talking about her trip to her hometown. While I was lost in my thoughts, his name pulled me out, huh? Y/nnn, did you hear Jungkook moved abroad? All I could do was act confused and not give her much more reaction than that. I mean, of course I did; how could I not?

September 2023

God! Why do I have to give a college entrance exam? Can't they just admit all of us? was all I could think on my way to college. Nerve-wracking man... entering the college with my entrance card, all I could think about was how everyone here is with their friends. Shit! My year gap and I already feel left out. Lost in my thoughts, I didn't even realize how I followed the volunteering person to my exam room; after thanking her, I just wanted to get done with this.

1 hour later

The exam was not that bad; I mean, I was smiling on my way to exit. But my luck, it looks like it's going to rain, and I don't have an umbrella. God, please don't let it rain till my Uber is here. All while waiting for Uber, I saw him for the first time, a man a few meters away from me, alone, maybe waiting for his Uber too, I guess. And an awkward staring contest... and finally my prayers were heard; my Uber is here. One last glance at the stranger, and I get on my bus. He was pretty handsome, but whatever. 

2 weeks later

I still couldn't believe I got in; I thought my year gap would be an issue, but I guess my academic history did it. And I'm late to my first orientation class. Shit, is it only me who is alone? Shit, shit, and wait, that handsome stranger just passed by me? I'm not alone? And then he gets in the room, so followed by me. All my thoughts while entering the room were that he got some big foot. And one of the scary parts of the interaction, since I'm late, is who do I sit with? After scanning the room, I finally spotted someone with a vacant seat beside the handsome dude.

Hi, can I sit here? Yes, go ahead, and permission granted by a pretty stranger and maybe my friend for 4 years. And orientation starts; god, it was boring. And in the midst of it, I look at that dude in front of me; he sketches well. Wait, is he sketching when he is on the first bench? Is he not scared??? Was all I could think, sure. I'm pretty sure my eyes are looking like it's gonna pop off, but wtf? He has guts.

4 days later,

Whoo the fuck keeps an orientation program for fucking 9 days? Was all I could say to Jennifer, the prettyy stranger from that day who let me sit beside her; it turns out one of her friends also studies here, so now I'm third-wheeling them.

While complaining,onee teacher asked us to do something so nerve-wracking:, "So guys, I want you to form a circle of 8 and it better be both girls and boys in one group."  And there he is,thes handsome stranger in my group. "Now everyone,I want you guys to interact, know your names, and go around asking other group mates names too. And a group that can give us alot of names will win.". I couldn't focus after that; all I could think about was interaction with strangers. My anxiety was already in peak when I decided to go a day without a mask.  And now talk. I couldn't focus. Pretty handsome boy told me his name. I did too, but I couldn't remember it,and that sucked. But he has a very pretty smile.

Next day,

I'm late again! And Jennifer and her friend just went inside without me. Remind me to not wait for them again, please. Being late was one thing, and getting inside alone when everyone is inside is another thing. All the attention on me. My hand is sweating, and fuck! I did spot Jennifer and her friend, but they didn't even save a seat for me. Jennifer was mumbling sorry, but all my expression was giving fuck off! Already betrayed. I chose to sit alone, but boy, I guess luck is not on my side at all, because why the fuck is the teacher giving me a lecture? Have you not interacted with anyone or what? Why are you sitting alone? Join these two girls now. I swear to God I already have a teacher I hate. While I was creating holes in his body with my eyes, his words brought me out of my daydreaming revenge,"We want freshers to be part of decorating our department this year", and I need a group and names in the next 5 minutes. I swear to God I was not planning on doing it, but Jennifer asked me to join her, and a few persuading from girls beside me made me give my name to them.

If somebody had told me how much of a hassle it was going to be, I would not have given my name at all. But hey, I got an easy job. Painting something I love, and my pair was a girl named Perisa, and boy, she talks a lot for sure. I think we should just paint this with red. She looked at me for acceptance. And I just nodded. That's how our conversation was going. She was a talker, and I was a nodder. I can't go home and just sleep. The next day, apparently we have to sign up to create a college student profile. And I was stuck. Guess who just helped me? That handsome boy. He is helpful too. Just click on it, and boom, your profile is up. All I could do was stare; he looks a lot prettier up close. After I was done, thankfully by his help, I tried to talk to him and ask his name, but I guess he didn't hear me. But it's not like I'm going to be talking to him every now and then, so whatever... I was wrong, because tell me why the fuck is handsome boy Wait, Jungkook is beside me helping our seniors with craft. His voice sounds very good even from up close. And Jungkook laughs nicely. The second-to-last day, I got to know his name; I'm very proud of myself! And it got easier now to interact; we walked together till the bus stop. Exchanged our Insta, and now we go home and stalk. Nope, no stalking; he has nothing up on his profile at all, just his profile picture. He is a boxer? Damn!

Next day/last day of decoration

 Why the fuck did I think he was pretty? He is annoying as hell! Like I didn't expect us to banter like this. He is lazytoo! !Like ew, tf, ,fno.o 

And done!!! Teachers were proud of my painting. And I can't wait to go home and sleep, and I can hear Perisa saying, Yes, we are up for a stall. What stall are we?? We as who?? And I was brought back to my reality. Apparently, Jungkook wants to put up a gaming stall for the upcoming college program, and all the group members said yes to it. Fuck! 

Program day

Our stall was doing good, and I think we are going to get some money, all thanks to Jungkook. Group mates are getting closer now; I now know everyone's name! Perisa, the talkative extrovert, Jennifer, Jungkook, Jimin, Taehyung,jhope,and Tina! Proud of myself.

Jungkook is still as annoying but now bearable. He has a pretty smile, smells good, and is kind too, so... 

A few hours later

While I was busy arranging our game, Jungkook called me over; he wanted to take a picture of my eyes, and I had to look up, and boy, he is tall. Very tall.

Taking pictures was never this fun until it was time for group pictures at the end of the day and he was beside me. Perfect height gap, but he is still annoying. That day I went home with a teddy bear, which he gave to me, which he won and gave to me after I asked. Red Teddy!

A few weeks later

After the success of our stall, we didn't have time to go and celebrate, and today was the day we did so. I wore an orange bodycon, my makeup was on point, and my bangs were pretty. I was confident till I saw him, because why the fuck am I nervous?The group decided to go karaoke, and boy, I realized he is still annoying! He is singing off-key knowingly. All I did in that karaoke room was slap his hand away from the microphone.Eating in a restaurant was very hard; we kept on looking at each other, and I kept on being reminded of my dream (wet dream about this very man). Way back home, we were back to our banter, because why the fuck was this man asking a dog to bite me? The dog was too loyal for me, as I had just fed him biscuits, but wtf.

Ended a day looking at a group photo of us, with him again beside me.

A few weeks later

College reopened, and we all got close. I was starting to see Jungkook in a different light, and before it grew, I had to do something, so I ignored him. It was going all good till he approached me. "Hey y/n everything good? And I folded very badly, and there was no going back, and I hated it.

Jungkook is everything that was opposite of my type, or that's what I thought. He smokes, does drugs, has a tag of playboy already, sort of has a gangsta group personality, and is just too much, but what can I do?

January 2024

Group decided to go to the amusement park. Something I was very excited about. Dressing up in a cute crop top with flare pants and good makeup, I was good to go! It was all exciting till I was in a ferris wheel with him; why is this hulk of a man scared of heights? Now I wish I had pulled something else while pulling a card so that I didn't have to be with him in this close space together. 

Feelings are growing a lot more, and I fear he can hear my heartbeat from his seat opposite from me. I doubt I have hidden my feelings for him very well. I'm sure everyone knows by now, and that was scary. My thoughts were cut off. Can you please play the weekend song he spoke of? And there I was, wrapped around his finger, taking my phone out and playing the songs he requested, not caring how speedy this ride was, and one slip and my phone will break down. Shit, y/n, I shouldn't have come here; this ride is scary. What if I die? God help me; Jesus help me. Jungkook was turning red, and I was getting much more worried. Hey, hey, look at the side; nothing will happen. I was trying to distract his mind as much as I could; I just wished he knew I would not let anything happen to him ever. The whole ride I was holding his hand,, making sure to let him knowwhattwouldld happen until he asked me to lego.oDidid I cross boundary?rWasWas aI coulduld think of.

Once again, for the group photo, he again stood beside me.

February 

My sister was getting married today, and no matter how much we fought, I was going to miss her. My friends were all here, and I was very grateful he was here. I fell hard for him today for sure. While playing a few games, we ended up beside each other, and when he noticed I was on the verge of crying, he was cracking a few jokes to lift me. God, help! I'm falling more. And there was one person paying close attention to us, my bestie Sam. I got a message with our group photo, and I realized he was once again beside me. 

1 week later

Sam couldn't stop but keep on talking about how she thinks he likes me too, how she couldn't help but notice how he was looking out for me. And I wished he fell for me too. That day was too good till I saw a jerk ass jerking in a parking lot of the place I was parking my scooter at. Did that shake my head yes, and did I have to rant? Yes. I ended up ranting to him in a text; he told me how I shouldn't go to these places alone and he will go with me next time. Maybe he was being kind, but shit, I fell much more.

Next day

Jungkook was the first person to arrive in the classroom. Very shocking knowing he has this very good streak of coming to college very late or after college song. 

While I was minding my business, Jungkook was looking out for me; knowing how disturbed I was, he was trying to lift my mood up a lot. While I was doodling something, he would come to me and say, "Why won't you draw a sketch of mine? Or when I couldn't focus and act out my lines for the drama we were planning to act out on this very upcoming social service college trip of ours, he was trying to make me laugh by acting my lines goofily and kept on looking at me till I cracked a smile. I fell very hard. Then I didn't hide it anymore, I guess. I was openly flirting with him. We started sharing a Netflix account. Actually, my Netflix account. I started giving him chocolates. A day before the trip, we worked together on a project that I had to submit side by side. My testosterone level is so high nowadays. Jungkook said it out of nowhere. I just looked at him weirdly and went back to work.

1 week later/day of hike

On our hiking trip, girls were mad at boys for ignoring our existence completely.The whole trip we barely talked. It felt like we were not friends. I was very disappointed at Jungkook for the way he was acting this trip. Last day before we leave this community and leave for a hike, I called Jimin to have a chat. Hey, Jimin, can we talk? Jimin was a bit baffled but joined me. Sure,  is there any issue? Um, yes, actually we are a bit mad about how we felt left out and how you guys are ignoring our existence. You guys didn't even ask if we wanted to have alcohol. You guys wanna have it? Jimin was confused himself. Yes, I thought Lyam told you that; I remember telling him yesterday. And he was even more confused; no, he didn't, but you guys should have told me about it. I was even more confused because I remember telling Lyam about it; he even said he would deliver the news to the boys, but whatever. I gave him a smile; actually, I called you to say we will give money so that you can buy alcohol for us too tomorrow on our way. Jimin nodded and gave a smile back. We bid our goodbye. And I went to the girls to tell them about the arrangement.  

Next day

The day when everything went downhill, on our way to hiking, the girls planned to buy drinks for themselves. They were still mad, and I was left there wondering about our arrangement with boys. Weirdly, Jungkook came to talk to us after he knew about our drink; after all,, he was the one who taught us how to mix it properly with juice. Girls decided to ignore them all the way tothe top. top. Jimincome come to utalk, talk, and when I talked t Perisa, Jennifer,Jennifer, and Tina got mad at me and said how I should just be with them if I want tbad. On ourt bad. On ourthe hotel,bJimino the hotelup.HeyJi, rememb how youy, , rememb howwanted tosaid you guys wanted to have a drink too? So I needed money for that. I was already tipsy frI hade amount of drink I had on our hikiPerisa I just told him Perisa has already bougha bittconfused. And I was areaction;used about Jungkookaction; I tho...ht Jungkook told them shurting,t since my head was hurting, I just was trying and lett away with this ca bito and let it be.You guys was a bit confused, huh? You guysa proud All I could do leave. d with a proud smile an"Hey, t leave.here.n cwentled me again, "Heso youn come here. I went tit.eWhatfused, sobring?uHowalready bought it. bring?dAndu brings blank. ch did you gmoney,ring? have I was s blato give.t Umm,e money, know exactly,no answers to give. "Umm, I don'tbrands exactly, On our I think theythe hotel,hJiminocal brandsup.Heynd, remembwhow youck to the hotelwanted toin called me up.Hey, , rememb how you said you guys wanted to have a drink too? So I needed I had for that. I was already tipsy fromPerisamount of drink I had on our hiking. So I a bittconfusedim Perisa hasreaction;bought it fJungkooknd I was a bi...confused about their rehurting, I thought Jungkook told them so... but since mand letd was hurting, I ja bit was trying to gYou guysy with this convo and let it be. Ja proudwas a bit confusleave. h? You guys did? All I "Hey,  do was here.ithwent proud smile and so you leave. Jimin called it.aWhat, "Hey, /bring? Howe. I went there conbring?sAndou guyss blank.  bought it. money,did yohavering? How mutodgive.u Umm,s bring? knowdexactly,s blank. I just gave money, so I brandsno answers to give. "Umm, I don't know exactly, but I think they bought 4 local brands and left.

A few hours later

When we reached the hotel, we were not tipsy at all. And all of a sudden my feelings for Jungkook became a topic. I was just chilling when Perisa started saying Y/n didn't actually have feelings for Jungkook, but after he showed his red flags, she started to fall for him. Tina and Jennifer were just laughing, then Perisa spoke again, "But Y/N I think Jungkook is just being kind to you because you are friends, so you should really tone down the things, and while I was sinking the information, a sound of a bottle dropping came. .

Reaching down it turns out one of our friend dropped his bottle of beer on his way up, till lunch time we were trying to solve the issue, after lunch we all gathered together to understand what happened so jimin told us the story 

Jimin pov

After y/n told me about girls buying there own alcohol I was bit surprised so I told boys. Lyam decided it will be better if we buy it in a hotel we are planning to stay in. Reaching hotel our plan started, one of our friend mingyu told us that he will manage it, "You guys chill and just let me take a shower, I will manage the drink after that" But after 10 minutes got a message from lyam that we need to go out and get it, and on our way back to room our botel dropped and teacher caught us. Mingyu was mad but we were confused that when he revealed something shocking, "his bathroom was locked from outside and lyam shares his room. By the time I was done telling the story, girls had a same reaction as we did.

End of pov

Y/n pov

Isn't it funny how lyam is not here? Jackson one of our friend with whom we got close with on our trip spoke, mingyu was quick to cut him off, let's not play this blaming game and fix the issue. All this time jungkook kept on looking at him,but not a good look and I shrugged it off. Jackson was panicking now, guys I can't get suspended, my parents will kill me. He was very much in a verge of crying and I couldn't help but wonder where taehung was. Not only Jackson,it was jimin and taehung too. After Jackson got caught they were just entering and they were caught too. And turns out it was lyam who messaged them so it was getting bit fishy. 

10:00 pm

We were having fun when jimin joined us, everything was going fine. We were actually laughing but jungkook and taehung joined us too. Jungkook was beside me but we barely talked. I was already drunk by then. Jennifer was worried about lyam so she went to check up on then and then everything turned upside down.

Jennifer entered the room, hey so what did lyam say is everything good? I asked her. Jennifer looked at me with burning eyes and brust out" HE SAID IT ALL HAPPENED BECAUSE OF YOU! WHY DID YOU REPLY THEM BADLY? I was baffled and shocked and jimin joined her but lightly, yes man,why did you reply to us so lightly, you should have gave us the proper answer. And all I could think was,so that how it's turning out? I didn't care about their opinion but jungkook's, so I turned towards him.and asked, do u also think its because of me? Huh? and he bursted on me , "what do u want me to say can't you just shut up? And that's all I needed to go and lay in my bed.

 

Next day

I woke up with a very bad hangover, but everything that happened yesterday sinked in. Seeing perisa sleeping beside me I stood up and went to shower and my tears mixed with the water coming from shower head.

Everything was awkward, jungkook and I couldn't look at eachother anymore. And it suck and what sucked the most was perisa opening her mouth while I was packing my bag. So it's weird between you two? It took me a while to connect the dot,and I understood she was talking about me and jungkook. I looked at and replied to her softly, yeah i mean kind of and im planning to fix the issue between us ,i gave her a tight smile,tears on a verge of falling down and she spoke again,actually he knows and i was confused so she continued yesterday we went to their room after you fell alseep and he was annoyed about you getting mad and leaving to sleep. So when jimin told him that's because you like him and he replied he knows. 

This new information was a bit shocking but what was more nerve wrecking was how open those feelings of mine were that everyone knew. Then i felt this anger about everyone discussing my feelings without me. I looked at perisa and replied I will maintain my distance so don't worry. 

I failed very badly, cause when he got into a fight with another group I was standing infront of him standing as a shield and protecting him. And that's when I realised how I revealed my feelings infront of everyone. That was the very first night I cried for him.

Few weeks later

Group fell apart, teacher snitched, boy got punished with library hours for 15 days and I was blamed. Me,Tina and perisa were in one group,others in different. Once a group with very strong bond turned to two groups who held petty feelings for eachother very quickly. 

I tried to talk to everyone specifically to him, I still remember when he left me in front of everyone while I called him over,

Hey jungkook, can we talk? He just nodded umm actually it was about netflix do you have another account or should I purchase?, no need I already got one he replied very coldly, or then can I get a password? I was hopeful but all went down when he just left 

It got worse after that, it felt like he hated me now. Like if I was alone with him,he will actually kill me and all that vengeance towards me caused I had a feelings for him?Getting ignored by him for few more weeks finally knocked some sense to and I knew what I should do to stand on my ground.

May 2024

After summer break I was done crying over him. I thought I hated him alot.. I barely walked to the same direction as him. But habits never go away, I always was helping him,he needs water knowing he won't drink it if I give it to him, I passed the water bottle till it reached him, he has no pen? Let's pass my extra pen to him. It went like that but I never talked to him even while doing this.I think he felt it too cause now it was another way around. He was trying to make a conversation. Trying to talk to me. Looking at my direction when he does something. One incident was when i went back to our classroom cause i forgot something and I saw him, funny thing man did a whole turning around to look at me. Or when i caughf him in a sick room checking upon me cause i left classroom cause i was not feeling good or catching him going to whole another room and staring at me.And it all just degraded my image more. Rumors started to fly again.

 

July2024

College was holding a Mr and Mrs freshers. Perisa and Tina were participants along side with jungkook. I was there with perisa and Tina during their practice. Catching jungkook looking at my direction was something normal to me now but I didn't expect him to actually come and sit beside me and talk. Hey, do u have that fan of yours? All I did was nod, can I have it? Without any intention of talking I gave it you him. I thought he will leave but he didn't, judgemental eyes of people were getting too much so I left him there.

Y/N said she wishes we don't win the title along side with jungkook. Perisa said it Tina. When tina came to me to talk about it I felt betrayed once again. I wonder what made it perisa spread rumors like that... but I couldn't confront her. Fear of being friendless was scary.  

His actions became more constant towards me. Looking at me every now and then made me wonder if it was his new hobby or job. Trying to talk to me also became constant, my walks were breaking down when one evening while having lunch tina said "y/n really is someone with no self respect" and I froze. Once again no confrontation. Hatred towards him and romantic feelings I had towards jungkook had a very thin line. I used to hate him during days but cry because of longing I had for him at night. And I couldn't stand him anymore now. His actions towards me made me think maybe he is falling for me,but him getting touchy with someone new and dating her infront of me made me think delusional I gotta be again. 

Till the very last day I didn't talk to him. News about him trying for abroad was spreading. I still remember praying to God when I found out it was his interview day. He nailed it. After that my only goal was to talk to him and say goodbye just one goodbye I didn't have guts to do so. 

August 2024

Semester break started and that's when I got the news about his visa getting approved from namjoon. A very good friend of mine after that service camp. When he told me about it i was relieved but one day it just hit me and I was there,crying my eyes put cause I missed him. I missed him alot more each and every day. Then the day he had to fly came. I remember going towards airport to see him atkeast one last time,but left before I could do so. I wish I could talk to him one last time. Ask him if he can stay a little longer with me for awhile let all these frustrating feelings of mine to him.

It's been 2 months since he left and longing I feel for him is just getting much bad. Crying for him is now a everyday routine. I wanna message him but he is in another country now. And its not like I can tie his leg down just cause I fell too deep down to the ocean.

[jjkookiee346]

Thank you everyone for all the love I have received for my first work. I appreciate it

[jjkookiee346]

STAY A LITTLE LONGER BABE-JJK

Synopsis: people say heartbreak from relationship is difficult but heartbreak from a relationship which barely existed is much more worse

Pairing: jungkook × y/n

Genre: angst

Word count: 5107

Warning: bit of explicit language, mention of public harassment, trust issues,insecurities,longing,

Note: this my first ever fic and English is not my first language so suggestion and remarks are very much welcomed. Story had been bit inspired by personal experience of author and fic is mostly based on y/n pov. Inspired by rosé song stay a little longer.

Going to college after a very long semester break was so much more difficult. I thought waking up would be the most difficult part, but I was definitely wrong. Leaving my house in this cold weather has been much more difficult. 5:30. A.M. indeed looks so dark, and this chilly weather with fog is much, much worse.

Reaching college was nerve-wracking; not seeing any of my friends for almost 4 months is making it feel like I'm all of a sudden a fresher. And reaching my class, I finally see my friend Namjoon.

God, I missed him. We couldn't wait and just started to share how much of a difficulty it was to wake up. Y/N, I'm telling you, this is against human rights for sure! We should just go and file a case against this timing. That rant of his was able to get a giggle out of me. While he was ranting, I heard Perisha and Tina calling me to accompany them to the washroom.

Wtf? Perisha was scared for sure. You are going to make me go deaf, Tina. Tina looked a bit apologetic, but Aisha was going to say more when Tina replied, "You won't like looking at the wall." Holy cow! Finally there was a much-anticipated wall mirror there. I guess we were on a good girl list of Santa's. And there goes the college bell, shit college bell! The way we ran to our class, pretty proud of ourselves After the national anthem and college anthem, my bench partner and I couldn't wait to spill our tea. In the midst of everything, I can't help but look at his bench. A very bad habit. And the feeling of something missing that I can't let go of. Dina, my benchmate, couldn't stop herself and just kept on talking about her trip to her hometown. While I was lost in my thoughts, his name pulled me out, huh? Y/nnn, did you hear Jungkook moved abroad? All I could do was act confused and not give her much more reaction than that. I mean, of course I did; how could I not?

September 2023

God! Why do I have to give a college entrance exam? Can't they just admit all of us? was all I could think on my way to college. Nerve-wracking man... entering the college with my entrance card, all I could think about was how everyone here is with their friends. Shit! My year gap and I already feel left out. Lost in my thoughts, I didn't even realize how I followed the volunteering person to my exam room; after thanking her, I just wanted to get done with this.

1 hour later

The exam was not that bad; I mean, I was smiling on my way to exit. But my luck, it looks like it's going to rain, and I don't have an umbrella. God, please don't let it rain till my Uber is here. All while waiting for Uber, I saw him for the first time, a man a few meters away from me, alone, maybe waiting for his Uber too, I guess. And an awkward staring contest... and finally my prayers were heard; my Uber is here. One last glance at the stranger, and I get on my bus. He was pretty handsome, but whatever. 

2 weeks later

I still couldn't believe I got in; I thought my year gap would be an issue, but I guess my academic history did it. And I'm late to my first orientation class. Shit, is it only me who is alone? Shit, shit, and wait, that handsome stranger just passed by me? I'm not alone? And then he gets in the room, so followed by me. All my thoughts while entering the room were that he got some big foot. And one of the scary parts of the interaction, since I'm late, is who do I sit with? After scanning the room, I finally spotted someone with a vacant seat beside the handsome dude.

Hi, can I sit here? Yes, go ahead, and permission granted by a pretty stranger and maybe my friend for 4 years. And orientation starts; god, it was boring. And in the midst of it, I look at that dude in front of me; he sketches well. Wait, is he sketching when he is on the first bench? Is he not scared??? Was all I could think, sure. I'm pretty sure my eyes are looking like it's gonna pop off, but wtf? He has guts.

4 days later,

Whoo the fuck keeps an orientation program for fucking 9 days? Was all I could say to Jennifer, the prettyy stranger from that day who let me sit beside her; it turns out one of her friends also studies here, so now I'm third-wheeling them.

While complaining,onee teacher asked us to do something so nerve-wracking:, "So guys, I want you to form a circle of 8 and it better be both girls and boys in one group."  And there he is,thes handsome stranger in my group. "Now everyone,I want you guys to interact, know your names, and go around asking other group mates names too. And a group that can give us alot of names will win.". I couldn't focus after that; all I could think about was interaction with strangers. My anxiety was already in peak when I decided to go a day without a mask.  And now talk. I couldn't focus. Pretty handsome boy told me his name. I did too, but I couldn't remember it,and that sucked. But he has a very pretty smile.

Next day,

I'm late again! And Jennifer and her friend just went inside without me. Remind me to not wait for them again, please. Being late was one thing, and getting inside alone when everyone is inside is another thing. All the attention on me. My hand is sweating, and fuck! I did spot Jennifer and her friend, but they didn't even save a seat for me. Jennifer was mumbling sorry, but all my expression was giving fuck off! Already betrayed. I chose to sit alone, but boy, I guess luck is not on my side at all, because why the fuck is the teacher giving me a lecture? Have you not interacted with anyone or what? Why are you sitting alone? Join these two girls now. I swear to God I already have a teacher I hate. While I was creating holes in his body with my eyes, his words brought me out of my daydreaming revenge,"We want freshers to be part of decorating our department this year", and I need a group and names in the next 5 minutes. I swear to God I was not planning on doing it, but Jennifer asked me to join her, and a few persuading from girls beside me made me give my name to them.

If somebody had told me how much of a hassle it was going to be, I would not have given my name at all. But hey, I got an easy job. Painting something I love, and my pair was a girl named Perisa, and boy, she talks a lot for sure. I think we should just paint this with red. She looked at me for acceptance. And I just nodded. That's how our conversation was going. She was a talker, and I was a nodder. I can't go home and just sleep. The next day, apparently we have to sign up to create a college student profile. And I was stuck. Guess who just helped me? That handsome boy. He is helpful too. Just click on it, and boom, your profile is up. All I could do was stare; he looks a lot prettier up close. After I was done, thankfully by his help, I tried to talk to him and ask his name, but I guess he didn't hear me. But it's not like I'm going to be talking to him every now and then, so whatever... I was wrong, because tell me why the fuck is handsome boy Wait, Jungkook is beside me helping our seniors with craft. His voice sounds very good even from up close. And Jungkook laughs nicely. The second-to-last day, I got to know his name; I'm very proud of myself! And it got easier now to interact; we walked together till the bus stop. Exchanged our Insta, and now we go home and stalk. Nope, no stalking; he has nothing up on his profile at all, just his profile picture. He is a boxer? Damn!

Next day/last day of decoration

 Why the fuck did I think he was pretty? He is annoying as hell! Like I didn't expect us to banter like this. He is lazytoo! !Like ew, tf, ,fno.o 

And done!!! Teachers were proud of my painting. And I can't wait to go home and sleep, and I can hear Perisa saying, Yes, we are up for a stall. What stall are we?? We as who?? And I was brought back to my reality. Apparently, Jungkook wants to put up a gaming stall for the upcoming college program, and all the group members said yes to it. Fuck! 

Program day

Our stall was doing good, and I think we are going to get some money, all thanks to Jungkook. Group mates are getting closer now; I now know everyone's name! Perisa, the talkative extrovert, Jennifer, Jungkook, Jimin, Taehyung,jhope,and Tina! Proud of myself.

Jungkook is still as annoying but now bearable. He has a pretty smile, smells good, and is kind too, so... 

A few hours later

While I was busy arranging our game, Jungkook called me over; he wanted to take a picture of my eyes, and I had to look up, and boy, he is tall. Very tall.

Taking pictures was never this fun until it was time for group pictures at the end of the day and he was beside me. Perfect height gap, but he is still annoying. That day I went home with a teddy bear, which he gave to me, which he won and gave to me after I asked. Red Teddy!

A few weeks later

After the success of our stall, we didn't have time to go and celebrate, and today was the day we did so. I wore an orange bodycon, my makeup was on point, and my bangs were pretty. I was confident till I saw him, because why the fuck am I nervous?The group decided to go karaoke, and boy, I realized he is still annoying! He is singing off-key knowingly. All I did in that karaoke room was slap his hand away from the microphone.Eating in a restaurant was very hard; we kept on looking at each other, and I kept on being reminded of my dream (wet dream about this very man). Way back home, we were back to our banter, because why the fuck was this man asking a dog to bite me? The dog was too loyal for me, as I had just fed him biscuits, but wtf.

Ended a day looking at a group photo of us, with him again beside me.

A few weeks later

College reopened, and we all got close. I was starting to see Jungkook in a different light, and before it grew, I had to do something, so I ignored him. It was going all good till he approached me. "Hey y/n everything good? And I folded very badly, and there was no going back, and I hated it.

Jungkook is everything that was opposite of my type, or that's what I thought. He smokes, does drugs, has a tag of playboy already, sort of has a gangsta group personality, and is just too much, but what can I do?

January 2024

Group decided to go to the amusement park. Something I was very excited about. Dressing up in a cute crop top with flare pants and good makeup, I was good to go! It was all exciting till I was in a ferris wheel with him; why is this hulk of a man scared of heights? Now I wish I had pulled something else while pulling a card so that I didn't have to be with him in this close space together. 

Feelings are growing a lot more, and I fear he can hear my heartbeat from his seat opposite from me. I doubt I have hidden my feelings for him very well. I'm sure everyone knows by now, and that was scary. My thoughts were cut off. Can you please play the weekend song he spoke of? And there I was, wrapped around his finger, taking my phone out and playing the songs he requested, not caring how speedy this ride was, and one slip and my phone will break down. Shit, y/n, I shouldn't have come here; this ride is scary. What if I die? God help me; Jesus help me. Jungkook was turning red, and I was getting much more worried. Hey, hey, look at the side; nothing will happen. I was trying to distract his mind as much as I could; I just wished he knew I would not let anything happen to him ever. The whole ride I was holding his hand,, making sure to let him knowwhattwouldld happen until he asked me to lego.oDidid I cross boundary?rWasWas aI coulduld think of.

Once again, for the group photo, he again stood beside me.

February 

My sister was getting married today, and no matter how much we fought, I was going to miss her. My friends were all here, and I was very grateful he was here. I fell hard for him today for sure. While playing a few games, we ended up beside each other, and when he noticed I was on the verge of crying, he was cracking a few jokes to lift me. God, help! I'm falling more. And there was one person paying close attention to us, my bestie Sam. I got a message with our group photo, and I realized he was once again beside me. 

1 week later

Sam couldn't stop but keep on talking about how she thinks he likes me too, how she couldn't help but notice how he was looking out for me. And I wished he fell for me too. That day was too good till I saw a jerk ass jerking in a parking lot of the place I was parking my scooter at. Did that shake my head yes, and did I have to rant? Yes. I ended up ranting to him in a text; he told me how I shouldn't go to these places alone and he will go with me next time. Maybe he was being kind, but shit, I fell much more.

Next day

Jungkook was the first person to arrive in the classroom. Very shocking knowing he has this very good streak of coming to college very late or after college song. 

While I was minding my business, Jungkook was looking out for me; knowing how disturbed I was, he was trying to lift my mood up a lot. While I was doodling something, he would come to me and say, "Why won't you draw a sketch of mine? Or when I couldn't focus and act out my lines for the drama we were planning to act out on this very upcoming social service college trip of ours, he was trying to make me laugh by acting my lines goofily and kept on looking at me till I cracked a smile. I fell very hard. Then I didn't hide it anymore, I guess. I was openly flirting with him. We started sharing a Netflix account. Actually, my Netflix account. I started giving him chocolates. A day before the trip, we worked together on a project that I had to submit side by side. My testosterone level is so high nowadays. Jungkook said it out of nowhere. I just looked at him weirdly and went back to work.

1 week later/day of hike

On our hiking trip, girls were mad at boys for ignoring our existence completely.The whole trip we barely talked. It felt like we were not friends. I was very disappointed at Jungkook for the way he was acting this trip. Last day before we leave this community and leave for a hike, I called Jimin to have a chat. Hey, Jimin, can we talk? Jimin was a bit baffled but joined me. Sure,  is there any issue? Um, yes, actually we are a bit mad about how we felt left out and how you guys are ignoring our existence. You guys didn't even ask if we wanted to have alcohol. You guys wanna have it? Jimin was confused himself. Yes, I thought Lyam told you that; I remember telling him yesterday. And he was even more confused; no, he didn't, but you guys should have told me about it. I was even more confused because I remember telling Lyam about it; he even said he would deliver the news to the boys, but whatever. I gave him a smile; actually, I called you to say we will give money so that you can buy alcohol for us too tomorrow on our way. Jimin nodded and gave a smile back. We bid our goodbye. And I went to the girls to tell them about the arrangement.  

Next day

The day when everything went downhill, on our way to hiking, the girls planned to buy drinks for themselves. They were still mad, and I was left there wondering about our arrangement with boys. Weirdly, Jungkook came to talk to us after he knew about our drink; after all,, he was the one who taught us how to mix it properly with juice. Girls decided to ignore them all the way tothe top. top. Jimincome come to utalk, talk, and when I talked t Perisa, Jennifer,Jennifer, and Tina got mad at me and said how I should just be with them if I want tbad. On ourt bad. On ourthe hotel,bJimino the hotelup.HeyJi, rememb how youy, , rememb howwanted tosaid you guys wanted to have a drink too? So I needed money for that. I was already tipsy frI hade amount of drink I had on our hikiPerisa I just told him Perisa has already bougha bittconfused. And I was areaction;used about Jungkookaction; I tho...ht Jungkook told them shurting,t since my head was hurting, I just was trying and lett away with this ca bito and let it be.You guys was a bit confused, huh? You guysa proud All I could do leave. d with a proud smile an"Hey, t leave.here.n cwentled me again, "Heso youn come here. I went tit.eWhatfused, sobring?uHowalready bought it. bring?dAndu brings blank. ch did you gmoney,ring? have I was s blato give.t Umm,e money, know exactly,no answers to give. "Umm, I don'tbrands exactly, On our I think theythe hotel,hJiminocal brandsup.Heynd, remembwhow youck to the hotelwanted toin called me up.Hey, , rememb how you said you guys wanted to have a drink too? So I needed I had for that. I was already tipsy fromPerisamount of drink I had on our hiking. So I a bittconfusedim Perisa hasreaction;bought it fJungkooknd I was a bi...confused about their rehurting, I thought Jungkook told them so... but since mand letd was hurting, I ja bit was trying to gYou guysy with this convo and let it be. Ja proudwas a bit confusleave. h? You guys did? All I "Hey,  do was here.ithwent proud smile and so you leave. Jimin called it.aWhat, "Hey, /bring? Howe. I went there conbring?sAndou guyss blank.  bought it. money,did yohavering? How mutodgive.u Umm,s bring? knowdexactly,s blank. I just gave money, so I brandsno answers to give. "Umm, I don't know exactly, but I think they bought 4 local brands and left.

A few hours later

When we reached the hotel, we were not tipsy at all. And all of a sudden my feelings for Jungkook became a topic. I was just chilling when Perisa started saying Y/n didn't actually have feelings for Jungkook, but after he showed his red flags, she started to fall for him. Tina and Jennifer were just laughing, then Perisa spoke again, "But Y/N I think Jungkook is just being kind to you because you are friends, so you should really tone down the things, and while I was sinking the information, a sound of a bottle dropping came. .

Reaching down it turns out one of our friend dropped his bottle of beer on his way up, till lunch time we were trying to solve the issue, after lunch we all gathered together to understand what happened so jimin told us the story 

Jimin pov

After y/n told me about girls buying there own alcohol I was bit surprised so I told boys. Lyam decided it will be better if we buy it in a hotel we are planning to stay in. Reaching hotel our plan started, one of our friend mingyu told us that he will manage it, "You guys chill and just let me take a shower, I will manage the drink after that" But after 10 minutes got a message from lyam that we need to go out and get it, and on our way back to room our botel dropped and teacher caught us. Mingyu was mad but we were confused that when he revealed something shocking, "his bathroom was locked from outside and lyam shares his room. By the time I was done telling the story, girls had a same reaction as we did.

End of pov

Y/n pov

Isn't it funny how lyam is not here? Jackson one of our friend with whom we got close with on our trip spoke, mingyu was quick to cut him off, let's not play this blaming game and fix the issue. All this time jungkook kept on looking at him,but not a good look and I shrugged it off. Jackson was panicking now, guys I can't get suspended, my parents will kill me. He was very much in a verge of crying and I couldn't help but wonder where taehung was. Not only Jackson,it was jimin and taehung too. After Jackson got caught they were just entering and they were caught too. And turns out it was lyam who messaged them so it was getting bit fishy. 

10:00 pm

We were having fun when jimin joined us, everything was going fine. We were actually laughing but jungkook and taehung joined us too. Jungkook was beside me but we barely talked. I was already drunk by then. Jennifer was worried about lyam so she went to check up on then and then everything turned upside down.

Jennifer entered the room, hey so what did lyam say is everything good? I asked her. Jennifer looked at me with burning eyes and brust out" HE SAID IT ALL HAPPENED BECAUSE OF YOU! WHY DID YOU REPLY THEM BADLY? I was baffled and shocked and jimin joined her but lightly, yes man,why did you reply to us so lightly, you should have gave us the proper answer. And all I could think was,so that how it's turning out? I didn't care about their opinion but jungkook's, so I turned towards him.and asked, do u also think its because of me? Huh? and he bursted on me , "what do u want me to say can't you just shut up? And that's all I needed to go and lay in my bed.

 

Next day

I woke up with a very bad hangover, but everything that happened yesterday sinked in. Seeing perisa sleeping beside me I stood up and went to shower and my tears mixed with the water coming from shower head.

Everything was awkward, jungkook and I couldn't look at eachother anymore. And it suck and what sucked the most was perisa opening her mouth while I was packing my bag. So it's weird between you two? It took me a while to connect the dot,and I understood she was talking about me and jungkook. I looked at and replied to her softly, yeah i mean kind of and im planning to fix the issue between us ,i gave her a tight smile,tears on a verge of falling down and she spoke again,actually he knows and i was confused so she continued yesterday we went to their room after you fell alseep and he was annoyed about you getting mad and leaving to sleep. So when jimin told him that's because you like him and he replied he knows. 

This new information was a bit shocking but what was more nerve wrecking was how open those feelings of mine were that everyone knew. Then i felt this anger about everyone discussing my feelings without me. I looked at perisa and replied I will maintain my distance so don't worry. 

I failed very badly, cause when he got into a fight with another group I was standing infront of him standing as a shield and protecting him. And that's when I realised how I revealed my feelings infront of everyone. That was the very first night I cried for him.

Few weeks later

Group fell apart, teacher snitched, boy got punished with library hours for 15 days and I was blamed. Me,Tina and perisa were in one group,others in different. Once a group with very strong bond turned to two groups who held petty feelings for eachother very quickly. 

I tried to talk to everyone specifically to him, I still remember when he left me in front of everyone while I called him over,

Hey jungkook, can we talk? He just nodded umm actually it was about netflix do you have another account or should I purchase?, no need I already got one he replied very coldly, or then can I get a password? I was hopeful but all went down when he just left 

It got worse after that, it felt like he hated me now. Like if I was alone with him,he will actually kill me and all that vengeance towards me caused I had a feelings for him?Getting ignored by him for few more weeks finally knocked some sense to and I knew what I should do to stand on my ground.

May 2024

After summer break I was done crying over him. I thought I hated him alot.. I barely walked to the same direction as him. But habits never go away, I always was helping him,he needs water knowing he won't drink it if I give it to him, I passed the water bottle till it reached him, he has no pen? Let's pass my extra pen to him. It went like that but I never talked to him even while doing this.I think he felt it too cause now it was another way around. He was trying to make a conversation. Trying to talk to me. Looking at my direction when he does something. One incident was when i went back to our classroom cause i forgot something and I saw him, funny thing man did a whole turning around to look at me. Or when i caughf him in a sick room checking upon me cause i left classroom cause i was not feeling good or catching him going to whole another room and staring at me.And it all just degraded my image more. Rumors started to fly again.

 

July2024

College was holding a Mr and Mrs freshers. Perisa and Tina were participants along side with jungkook. I was there with perisa and Tina during their practice. Catching jungkook looking at my direction was something normal to me now but I didn't expect him to actually come and sit beside me and talk. Hey, do u have that fan of yours? All I did was nod, can I have it? Without any intention of talking I gave it you him. I thought he will leave but he didn't, judgemental eyes of people were getting too much so I left him there.

Y/N said she wishes we don't win the title along side with jungkook. Perisa said it Tina. When tina came to me to talk about it I felt betrayed once again. I wonder what made it perisa spread rumors like that... but I couldn't confront her. Fear of being friendless was scary.  

His actions became more constant towards me. Looking at me every now and then made me wonder if it was his new hobby or job. Trying to talk to me also became constant, my walks were breaking down when one evening while having lunch tina said "y/n really is someone with no self respect" and I froze. Once again no confrontation. Hatred towards him and romantic feelings I had towards jungkook had a very thin line. I used to hate him during days but cry because of longing I had for him at night. And I couldn't stand him anymore now. His actions towards me made me think maybe he is falling for me,but him getting touchy with someone new and dating her infront of me made me think delusional I gotta be again. 

Till the very last day I didn't talk to him. News about him trying for abroad was spreading. I still remember praying to God when I found out it was his interview day. He nailed it. After that my only goal was to talk to him and say goodbye just one goodbye I didn't have guts to do so. 

August 2024

Semester break started and that's when I got the news about his visa getting approved from namjoon. A very good friend of mine after that service camp. When he told me about it i was relieved but one day it just hit me and I was there,crying my eyes put cause I missed him. I missed him alot more each and every day. Then the day he had to fly came. I remember going towards airport to see him atkeast one last time,but left before I could do so. I wish I could talk to him one last time. Ask him if he can stay a little longer with me for awhile let all these frustrating feelings of mine to him.

It's been 2 months since he left and longing I feel for him is just getting much bad. Crying for him is now a everyday routine. I wanna message him but he is in another country now. And its not like I can tie his leg down just cause I fell too deep down to the ocean.