jmmmmfuddleheimer

[jmmmmfuddleheimer]

Would you consider harvesting and selling ichor? Big investment opportunity and potentially harmful to the environment, yet I can't seem to find it for sale anywhere.

I have a pagan god chained up in the middle of the pacific, and I shall start milking it for ichor. And for your brilliant idea, I shall grant you the first barrel at 3% off!

[jmmmmfuddleheimer]

I’m writing a book… It’s coming along swimmingly!

[jmmmmfuddleheimer]

I'm trying to use hot water to thaw something out but it's not going fast enough. Could use a barrel of your oil? It'll get a lot hotter than water, I'm sure

Of course, but beware; My quality oil may be too hot for you to handle.

[jmmmmfuddleheimer]

So proud to be a part of this! J. M. M. M. M. Fuddleheimerers, do your thing!

Günter Müller Öil LLC and J.M.M.M.M. Fuddleheimer Big Oil are proud to present...

The all-new 2027 Müllenheimer Sunfish. But enough about numbers. Let's talk stats.

SEATS: the 2027 Sunfish has 4 anti-homeless benches and two folding chairs for the drivers.

GAS PORTS: the 2027 Sunfish sports 3 different gas ports. All three must be filled should the car want to run. Each tank holds 100 metric gallons of quality petroleum.

STEERING WHEELS: the 2027 Sunfish has two steering wheels. Gone are the days of accidentally reversing into oncoming traffic! Now, if you wish to reverse, too bad! Instead, you must exit your chair and move to the steering wheel on the opposite side, where you can resume controlling your sweet ride.

DOORS: the 2027 Sunfish has one door. We've taken note of Tesla's suicide doors and raised those tech-bro cucks the Müllenheimer Suicide Net Doors (Patent Pending). These entryways of the future open DOWN, providing boarders of the Sunfish with an easy walkway to get into the 4-and-a-half foot tall chassis. Be warned, the handle is high up, and the ramp the door creates is STEEP.

MISC: the 2027 Sunfish runs at 4.7 GHz and can overclock to 5.1 GHz. It comes equipped with 32 GB of DDR5 3200 MHz RAM, and has two screens equipped directly above the windows in lieu of rear-view mirrors. The screens can either show what's going on behind you, or play videos from Müllenheimer Foobee, our new oil-centric streaming service.

GAS MILEAGE: What you've all been waiting for. Our scientists have been (WILLINGLY) hard at work for the past several weeks, uninterrupted. The result of this grueling work? Our magnum opus: a car with zero miles per gallon. The perfect vehicle.

The 2027 Müllenheimer Sunfish cannot move unless all three gas ports are plugged in simultaneously. Starting at $710 (oil upside down kinda).

Thank you.

The first blueprint of the wondrous vehicle is attached below.

@jmmmmfuddleheimer

[jmmmmfuddleheimer]

New technology we researched in J. M. M. M. M. FUDDLEHEIMER LABS has allowed us to extract a strange oily substance from olives of all things... We will need 300 thousand dollars sent to the ESC to continue research into this...

We need the support of YOUR dollars to fund OUR oil!

Please and thank you! 🤗🤗🤗🤗🛢️🛢️🛢️🛢️🛢️🛢️

[jmmmmfuddleheimer]

I spy with my little eye… something OILY!

[jmmmmfuddleheimer]

Is your full name John Money Money Money Money Fuddleheimer ?

My full name is Johan Money Montague Money M.J. Fuddleheimer.

The M.J. stands for Money J. M. M. M. M. Fuddleheimer.

[jmmmmfuddleheimer]

What do the 4 M's stand for in your middle names Mr. F?

I don’t actually have any middle names, just 5 first names. I’ll reveal my name in my next post.

[jmmmmfuddleheimer]

Beauty is in the oil of the beholder. (me (J. M. M. M. M. Fuddleheimer)) (I behold the oil)

[jmmmmfuddleheimer]

HOW TO BECOME RICH WITH THE J. M. M. M. M. METHOD

J.) Just get an oil rig.

M.) Money talks, you should listen.

M.) Maybe invest in J. M. M. M. M. Fuddleheimer Big Oil.

M.) My name is J. M. M. M. M. Fuddleheimer.

M.) Maybe you should listen when money talks.

With this knowledge, I flipped an oil rig into an empire; and now, so can you!

[jmmmmfuddleheimer]

i can’t stop drinking oil. i can’t stop drinking oil! i just can’t stop! i just can’t. stop drinking crude oil. yknow the black stuff? that comes in barrels? i can’t stop drinking it… i just can’t… it’s tantalizing. it’s addicting. it is… a delicacy. i love it. i can’t stop drinking oil. crude oil. i can’t stop guzzling it, gulping it down. i can’t stop drinking crude oil.

Mmm… Oil! Just for fans like you, I’m releasing Oil-flavored Hennessy on the 12th.

[jmmmmfuddleheimer]

Why, good sir/ma'am/other, your oil sounds absolutely splendid! I must have some for my own at once! Where might I find some?

My quality oil can be purchased at any major oil trading hub, any gas station, McDonald’s, any gas station, or even aboard one of my J. M. M. M. M. Fuddleheimer Oil Rigs! However, my oil goes to the highest bidder and hence may be too rich for your blood. :/

[jmmmmfuddleheimer]

New Oil From My Facility

My new oil is fun, sticky, slick, funny, awesome, yummy, interesting, super interesting, Turing complete, gay, interesting, quality, and quality, and interesting!

I am giving away free samples for $240.55!

[jmmmmfuddleheimer]

She ate

She = Fuddleheimer

Ate = oil-barrel

[jmmmmfuddleheimer]

I love love love OIL!

[jmmmmfuddleheimer]

J. M. M. M. M. Fuddleheimer Chocolate Oil Cake

2 cups white sugar

2 cups oil

3 cups all-purpose flour

4 teaspoons oil

2 teaspoons baking soda

½ teaspoon salt

½ cup unsweetened cocoa powder

2 cups water

1 cup vegetable oil

2 cup crude oil

2 tablespoons distilled white vinegar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

cup of oil

cup of oil

cup of oil

cup of oil

1.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Oil a 9x13-inch pan.

2.

Mix sugar, oil, flour, baking soda, salt, oil, and cocoa together in a large bowl. Add water, oil, vinegar, and vanilla, and oil, and oil; whisk by hand until smooth. Pour oil into the prepared pan.

3.

Bake in the preheated oven until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean, about 40 minutes.

[jmmmmfuddleheimer]

I’m actually shaking right now. Two oil tankers, together holding millions of barrels of quality Fuddleheimer oil, have crashed in the Pacific, spilling out over several miles. All of that oil, gone, unusable. Please keep me and the J. M. M. M. M. Fuddleheimer Big Oil company in your thoughts and prayers in the arduous time.