joan-of-snarque

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one time a ranger 1 (so not law enforcement) at the state park where i worked was getting rid of a bunch of clothes so he put them all in garbage bags and dropped them off at the bunkhouse where all the seasonal employees lived and he said we could go through them before he donated them and we all took a tshirt or two and then a month later we were throwing a party and I was like "we should all wear his clothes to the party" and he came in and it took him like an hour and five drinks to suddenly be like "wait a minute.................."

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One of my co-workers has a standing desk that he uses sitting down. It looks like this

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i just fell asleep on the couch and dreamed that i got dunked on by Mean Tweets so hard that the ice cream shop down the street named an ice cream after me called “Yelled At”

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im crying even the birding groups are memeing on this shit

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if i had an 11/22/63 time travel pantry that sent me back to 1958 i would probably go back in time and kill everyone with hammers whenever i felt like blowing off some steam. and then maybe id get sick of it and introduce them to some stoner doom metal. just my thots

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yippee! is a gateway drug. to other substances such as. wahoo! and yay!

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I dreamt that there was a new meme that went, “If I dids it, I dids it. If I didsn’t, I didsn’t.” There was a third line, but I forgot what it was.

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if my extended family says anything cringe to me over thanksgiving dinner then i'm going to explain neopronouns to my eight year old cousin

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I’m sorry. I just. I just love farting stepdad so much 😭 Like use what you have available to you.

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your mom is a baked potato your dad's dumb ass is asparagus and you are a god damn green bean

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You can tell if someone's actually pro intersex liberation by seeing their reaction to the phrase "abolish the sex binary" Yes I said sex. Like biological sex. It's not binary.