jockerbrained

[jockerbrained]

im gonna getcha! im gonna getcha!!!

omg stoppp!!! hehe ^_^ !!!!

[jockerbrained]

when me and my boyfriend make meals we have a tradition of sending each other unappetising off-centre photographs of them in poor lighting. we call this "wikipedia food".

[jockerbrained]

literally can't stop thinking about this

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something vindictive but ultimately harmless I do at work is that if you’re at my register and you’re rude to me and you pay with cash I am finding the most disgusting desolate fucked up unspeakable coin I can to give to you. oh you were mean to me? you’re getting the yucky nickel bitch

[jockerbrained]

"I think I hauve covid" is sort of the modern man's anime nosebleed

[jockerbrained]

i unironically think that the resurgence of mustache culture has brought about a male slut era that is in many ways still in its infancy but is growing day by day. hemlines are getting shorter, chest hair is growing back, tops are cropped. gone are the dark, dark days when the sluttiest thing a man could do was roll up the sleeves of his button up office shirt. we are returning to the light of mustache rides and teeny tiny swim shorts. amen.

[jockerbrained]

[jockerbrained]

indeed.com search history "pet for mysteriously wealthy older woman" "unethical science test subject full time" "vampire thrall with room and board"

[jockerbrained]

[jockerbrained]

[jockerbrained]

just passed a guy in the store wearing a shirt that said "I hate being sexy but I'm a chubby bearded man so I can't help it". hell yeah brother

[jockerbrained]

sorry the faces of every man ive ever killed just flashed before my eyes was that a yes or a no to butt stuff

[jockerbrained]

gives you a badjob. a weirdjob. doing some unusual shit to your penis.

[jockerbrained]

i know her heart was in the right place but my mom wrote this in the funniest way possible

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[jockerbrained]

IT FUCKIN YURI DAAAAAAAAAAAY

[jockerbrained]

"What were you doing at the devils sacrament" jarking my whole thing off. Next quiestuon.