joelslastofus

[joelslastofus]

Please give us chapter 3 of the risk we take!! <3

Just started working on it 💜💜

[joelslastofus]

The Risks We Take

Chapter 2: Veiled [Chapter 1 is linked below.]

[SUMMARY: After Joel accidentally hurts you causing you to lose your memory, the truth becomes hard to escape.]

Mention of death, assault, angst, slow burn.

After Joel spent the night in your home you woke up the next morning to find him looking through a book sitting up on the couch. The sound of the steps creaking as you made your way down the stairs made him turn to you and get to his feet.

“Morning” you yawned holding your sweater tightly around you.

“Been waiting there for a while?” You asked motioning toward the couch.

“Not too long” he lied but he didn’t mind waiting long for you, he’d rather have made sure you were ok and be easy for you to find if you needed him.

“You could’ve gone home, didn’t have to wait for me to wake up” you spoke softly.

“Didn’t mind” he shook his head subtly, you noticed he seemed to not be able to look you in the eye as much.

“Want breakfast?” His tone changed.

“No, I’m not hungry. Thank you” you sighed, he placed his hands on his hips not really knowing what to do with them and nodded.

“How’s your head?”

“My head? Oh yeah, it’s uh…fine I guess-“ you brushed your hand over the slightly bruised area.

“No more pain?”

“Besides when I touch it, not at all” he nodded once again, awkwardly looking away. The thought of him being the cause of the injury you had quickly crossing his mind. He didn’t say anything for a moment until you both were interrupted by a knock on the door that made you tense up.

“Who’s that?” You whispered seeing the figure of an unfamiliar man through the transparent curtain.

“Jesse” Joel responded with his brows knit together wondering what the hell he was doing there. The look on his face only making you more anxious before he realized you were staring at him.

“S’alright, you know him” he assured you with a nod.

“I’ll be right here”

He watched as you hesitantly opened it to see Jesse on the other side.

“Hey” he smiled as you took a step back.

“I-“

“I know you don’t remember me but I used to come by here in the morning, most days we used to team up and go on patrols together.”

“Patrols?” You remembered Joel telling you how Tim was on patrol when he was hurt.

“They’d team us up together to just check certain areas..um..I was thinking maybe if you were up for it we can get something to eat in the town and-“

“I think it’s too soon for that” Joel interrupted, Jesse’s face changed not knowing he was with you. Joel stepped closer towards the door as Jesses eyes narrowed on him, you were so grateful in that moment for Joel to interrupt.

“Joel, didn’t know you’d be here. Pretty early” he raised a brow looking over you to him.

“He stayed here with me-“ Jesse quickly looked down at you strangely.

“He stayed on the couch I just…I-“ you somehow got tongue tied, unsure of why you were even explaining yourself.

“Does Tommy know you’re here?” Joel appeared beside you, his arm brushing against yours as he spoke to Jesse.

“No”

“Well, maybe you should talk to him. Find you another patrol partner for now, maybe Ellie.”

“Ellie?” He chuckled.

“Isn’t she suppose to go with you?”

“Not anymore” Joel responded dryly. You didn’t know the history between them but judging by the look Jesse had, he wasn’t pleased with being told he couldn’t do patrol with you any longer but he also didn’t know the things that Joel knew. Joel knew your trauma, he may not have known the specifics but he knew enough to know you were in no state to be off with a man you knew nothing of.

The photo of Joel with your brother was the only thing that allowed you to feel somewhat comfortable around him and even then you guarded yourself.

“Sure” he nodded before looking down at you.

“Maybe we can catch up sometime later” he suggested but you didn’t respond, not exactly into the idea of doing anything with any man.

“Give her some time” Joel spoke up beside you, his hand now on the door prepared to close it. Jesse only nodded, looked at you once more and walked away just as Joel shut the door.

“I don’t remember him” you whispered feeling slightly frustrated that you couldn’t remember anyone.

“S’alright” you hadn’t noticed him looking through the window as Jesse walked away.

“Tell you what, how about you freshen up and I show you something to keep you busy for a bit?” He looked back at you with a somewhat distracted look.

“Ok” you nodded and excused yourself as you walked back up the stairs still thinking over the interaction you just had with Jesse. Joel looked back at you making sure you went into the bathroom upstairs before opening the door and pacing quickly towards Jesse.

“Hey!” He called out to him making Jesse stop in his tracks.

“The hell you think you’re doin’?” Joel walked around before him, narrowing his eyes on him.

“What are you doing?” Jesse responded sharply.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re playing house with her, acting like you weren’t the one who killed her brother” guilt immediately flashed in Joel’s eyes but he quickly became defensive.

“You know damn well that ain’t how it happened-“

“Who cares, you’re still lying to her” he snapped back.

“That ain’t for you to tell her, Tommy and I agreed-“

“Yeah, I know what you and Tommy agreed on. It’s not right” Joel knew it wasn’t right, he didn’t need to be told that.

“Well right now that’s what it’s gonna be, we don’t need her freakin’ out and doing God knows what. Don’t try and confuse her” Jesse looked away into the distance clearly not liking what he was told.

“Understood?” Joel took a step closer.

“Yeah.” Jesse walked around him angrily and left as Joel’s expression softened, the fact that he was knowingly lying to you while you found comfort in him didn’t feel right but it wasn’t the first thing he’d done wrong in his life..

~~

Joel wondered how he could keep you busy without forcing you to deal with so many unfamiliar faces and that’s when he remembered what your brother had shared with him.

You grew up on a farm.

That afternoon he walked you to the stables, introduced you to each horse and even gave you some tips on how to help them be comfortable with you. It seemed to be a waste of time though as Joel watched you easily take over.

“I think they like you better than me” he smirked watching as you nuzzled your face against one of them.

“Probably” you smiled, something he hadn’t truly seen this way since you had first woken up.

“I like it here” you whispered just as the sound of a heavy door opening made you jump to your feet towards Joel. He quickly caught you as you looked behind in a panic.

“Its ok, no one’s coming in- that’s Ellie just prepping to get her horse on the other side” you looked back up at Joel, he could see the embarrassment you began to feel as you took a step back and fixed your shirt.

“Sorry, I just-“

“Don’t apologize” you nodded as you reached out to the brush he was handing you and continued as you were doing. The silence was loud, you could feel him staring at you, he wondered if you’d ever tell him what happened to you.

“Can I ask you something?” He looked up not expecting you to say much more after the scare you had just felt.

“Go ahead” he nodded.

“Is Ellie your daughter?” His expression changed, his body language reacting somewhat cautiously.

“No” he whispered and looked away.

“Is she upset with you?”

He looked up again, you could tell by the way he looked at you he wondered what made you think that.

“I saw the way you and Jesse looked at each other when she was mentioned I just-“

“It’s complicated” he interjected and walked to the other side of the barn, it was clear he didn’t want to speak of it.

~~

That evening he walked you back to your home, you could feel the way the energy shifted the moment you asked about Ellie making you regret it. He was silent holding the door open for you, walking in behind you, you turned and watched as he placed your backpack on the table.

“I’m sorry” you whispered making him look up, a slight confusion in his eyes.

“For?”

“I shouldn’t have asked about Ellie, I didn’t mean to upset you” he looked away again distracting himself with anything he could find around him.

“Don’t have to apologize, you got questions and you’re just trynna understand what’s around you” he responded without looking your way before he stopped what he was doing and took a deep breath turning to you.

“Can I ask you somethin’?”

“Sure” you spoke softly, you could see how hesitant he was as he tried to put the question together in his head before saying it out loud.

“Where did…where did Tim find you?” The immediate change in your expression made him instantly regret asking.

“Look, I’m sorry, forget I asked” he quickly looked away wanting to kick himself in the ass for even putting you in that position. He knew what it felt like to not want to speak of certain things, why the hell would he ask you that.

“I… I was taken,” you started, voice barely above a whisper. “By a group of men.” You paused, swallowing hard. “They weren’t… good.”

Joel’s eyes snapped to yours, but the moment they met, you looked away. Heat flushed your face—not from embarrassment, but something heavier. Something that stuck to your bones. Shame. Disgust. Guilt that didn’t belong to you but clung anyway.

You cleared your throat, the silence between you sharp and thick. Without meeting his gaze again, you turned and made your way slowly toward the stairs.

“If you could just… stay until I fall asleep,” you said, keeping your back to him. “I won’t take long. Twenty minutes, maybe.”

You didn’t wait for a reply. You just went up, the weight of the moment pressing down on every step, and closed the door behind you.

Joel stayed frozen in place, jaw tight, chest tight. He hated hearing it—hated imagining what you had gone through. But more than that, he hated the way you couldn’t even look at him, like your pain might drive him away.

Twenty minutes. That’s what you asked for.

Joel had already decided—he wasn’t going anywhere. Not tonight. Not if it meant you’d sleep without fear.

~~

The days went on as you struggled to get used to what was around you, everything still so very unfamiliar to you. The only thing bringing you comfort was Joel being close by. Neither of you bringing up Ellie or what you had gone through in the past. He shared stories about your brother making you feel as if you had known him for years, each story sounding exactly like Tim, it had you sharing your own stories to him. Sometimes you’d catch yourself rambling on and would apologize , but Joel liked to hear you talk about Tim. He liked to see you at ease. You found yourself asking Joel to continue stay at night, he didn’t seem to mind but the more he stayed the more frustrated Ellie grew with his lies.

~~

Today was like any other day at Jackson for you. Feeding the horses, brushing them, prepping them for those that would take them. Once at the stables Joel watched how you handled the horses, the smile on your face as you spoke to them softly. The one familiar thing you had at your fingertips, you didn’t mind spending hours here.

Tommy walked in noticing Joel watching you with a smile and cleared his throat. Joel immediately straightened up and turned to his brother as you looked up. Tommy greeted you with a nod as he leaned over to his brother and began to tell him something you couldn’t hear too well.

“Tonight?” Joel’s alert look slightly alarmed you, distracting you from the peaceful moment you had just been in the middle of.

“It’s a 2 day trip, you’re the only one who knows that route” Tommy explained, the two not noticing you making your way closer.

“Wait, you’re leaving?” The two men quickly turning to you, Joel’s expression filled with concern watching your eyes widen as he heard the panic in your voice.

“Joel, you can’t leave-“

“I’ll have Maria stay with you till Joel returns” Tommy explained but you quickly shook your head.

“No, no please Joel” you found yourself rushing toward him, your hand desperately grabbing onto his arm.

“It’s okay, we’ll figure somethin’ out” he spoke gently to you, his hand covering yours.

“Please don’t make him go-“ you looked to Tommy desperately who seemed now unsure of what to do.

“Joel-“ your eyes now glossy from tears beginning to form. He swallowed uncomfortably, unsure of what to say or how to comfort you but hating to see you this way. Your breathing quickened, he could see the panic in your eyes just as Maria walked in.

“Hey, how about we go get something to eat” she suggested beside you, you hadn’t taken your eyes off Joel.

“I’m not hungry” you shook your head.

“Hey-“ Joel whispered taking a step towards you.

“Go get somethin’ to eat, I’ll go see you in a bit, I promsie” you looked over at Tommy then back at Joel before slowly leaving with Maria.

The second you were out of the room Joel’s expression changed as he turned to his brother.

“I ain’t doin’ it”

“Joel” he could hear the frustration in Tommy’s voice.

“I ain’t leavin’ her, she needs me right now and-“

“You sure it ain’t the other way around?” Tommy’s question making Joel furrow his brows.

“The hell is that suppose to mean?”

“5 days now, 5 days you been stayin’ over night with her knowin’ what the truth would do to her-“ Joel clenched his jaw.

“Look I know you’ve been havin’ problems with Ellie but-“

“This has nothin’ to do with Ellie” Joel responded defensively. Tommy stood silent for a moment seeing the emotion his brother felt and looked away.

“She’s too damn attached to you, what you’re doin’ ain’t helpin’. This ain’t right”

“We both agreed it was best not to tell her the truth” Joel cut in.

“Well now I’m thinking that was a little bit of bad judgment on our part. Wasn’t expectin’ you two to get attached at the hip” Tommy spoke low.

“She trusts me” Joel looked straight into his brother eyes who simply nodded.

“Exactly” he whispered in response. Joel knew that was the problem.

“I ain’t gonna say nothin’ to her Joel but you need to set some kinda boundary with her. Don’t keep her too close. I’ll see if the guys can find another route for now” Tommy left Joel alone in the stables lost in thought, his feelings conflicted. A responsibility he felt he owed you, to help you feel safe, to help you feel at ease.

~~

Just as he promised Joel was at your front porch but his expression was uneasy as you opened the door.

“Are you leaving?” You asked softly. He silently shook his head, his answer still not allowing you to take a breath with the discomfort in his eyes. He knew he wouldn’t be staying with you for much longer, he knew any time would be a bad time to break that news to you. But tonight he didn’t say a word of it.

“Is everything ok?” You asked as he walked into your living room, looking around as if he didn’t know where to place himself.

He looked over at you, his eyes still distant, he nodded.

“Well…I’m gonna get some rest…I guess I’ll see you in the morning” he nodded again, not saying a word and watched as you walked past him up the stairs before taking a deep breath.

~~

That night, sleep didn’t come easy. Your body was still, but your mind wandered restlessly. You couldn’t tell if it was Joel’s strange quietness that unsettled you, or if it was just the creeping weight of being alone again.

The thought of him leaving—even for just a few days—wrapped around your chest like a tightening rope. It wasn’t logical, you knew that. But logic didn’t matter when fear was louder. He was the only thing that made the silence feel less threatening, the only presence that didn’t make you flinch.

As you slept Joel lay awake on the couch staring at the ceiling when he began to hear what sounded like soft whimpers. He didn’t think anything of it at first, until your whimpers turned into muffled words. Joel sat up looking up the stairs debating if he should go when you began to scream.

He took the stairs two at a time, barely touching each step in his rush. Bursting through the door, his eyes landed on you—shaking your head, tangled in the sheets, your body twisting as if trying to escape something even in sleep.

“No—please, no!” you cried out, the words torn from your throat, eyes still closed as your body flinched violently beneath the sheets.

Joel was on you in an instant, heart racing. “Hey, hey—it’s okay,” he murmured, dropping to his knees beside the bed, hands reaching gently for your face. You writhed beneath his touch, trapped in whatever nightmare held you.

“It’s okay, you’re safe,” he tried again, but another scream cut him off. His breath caught—panic flickering across his face as he hovered, unsure if touching you would help or make it worse.

“Hey!” he called more firmly now, hands bracing your shoulders as he gave you the slightest shake, just enough to jolt you. “Wake up, sweetheart—c’mon, it’s just a dream.”

Your eyes flew open, wide and wild. Confused. Gasping. He could see you struggling to separate dream from reality.

“S’alright,” he said softly, his voice a low anchor. “It was just a bad dream.”

You stared at him for a moment, then suddenly sat up, crashing into him with a choked sob. Your arms wrapped around his neck so tightly it nearly knocked him back.

He hadn’t expected it—but he didn’t hesitate either. He pulled you in, holding you as you trembled against him, your breath ragged and broken. His hand cradled the back of your head, the other pressing to the middle of your spine in slow, steady circles.

“I got you,” he whispered, over and over, voice steady, warm. “I’m right here.”

Your breathing started to slow, just slightly, grounding in the warmth of his touch. You pulled back just enough to look at him, your face tear-streaked, his eyes wide with worry.

And in that moment—looking into your shattered expression—he knew. It didn’t matter what was complicated, or what lines might be blurred. You needed him. And he wasn’t going anywhere.

“Please..don’t leave me” you whispered, before you could even finish your sentence he was already shaking his head.

“I’m not goin’ anywhere,” he said quietly, his voice low and steady.

You hesitated, eyes flicking to the empty space beside you on the bed, then back up at him.

“Will you… lay with me?”

Joel blinked, caught off guard. His brows lifted, just slightly—surprised by how soft the request sounded coming from you. Before he could answer, you shifted closer, your voice breaking just a little.

“Please… I don’t wanna have another bad dream.”

Something in him softened. His jaw tensed for a moment like he wanted to say no—but he didn’t. Instead, he gave a quiet nod and walked around to the other side of the bed, slow, unsure.

He laid down flat on his back, stiff at first, unsure where to place his hands or how close to be. But then you moved—gently curling into his side, your head resting against his chest, one hand splayed just over his heart.

Joel froze. He hadn’t expected that.

But after a beat, he exhaled, letting his arm wrap around you, tentative at first—then firmer, protective. He felt your breath steadying against him, the weight of you sinking into him like you’d finally found a place to rest.

You were asleep within minutes.

And Joel lay there, staring at the ceiling, heart caught between guilt, worry… and something far more dangerous: the comfort of holding you like this.

~~

The next morning you slowly began to wake up moving around in bed before remembering Joel had been beside you. Quickly opening your eyes you sat up realizing he wasn’t there.

“Joel?” You called out awkwardly before rushing out of bed and practically flying down the stairs until you heard something in the kitchen. When you walked in you found Joel by the stove, he looked up and an immediate look of concern came over him as he rushed towards you.

“What’s the matter?”

“I uh-nothing. I thought you left” you whispered feeling a bit embarrassed with the way you rushed in.

“I made us breakfast, you gone enough days without havin’ a proper meal in the mornin’. Figure I’d fix you somethin’ up” you smiled looking at the counter behind him.

“Thank you, Tim always did this. He’d make a big breakfast and made sure I ate before he left for the day. He didn’t like me not having breakfast”

“Well I agree” Joel turned making his way back around the counter.

“It is the most important meal of the day” you began to laugh making him quickly look up at you, you made a sound he’d never heard before and quickly stopped.

“Sorry, I just-“

“Never heard you laugh like that before” he cut you off with a slight smirk.

“You’ve never heard me laugh?” You raised your brows.

“You weren’t exactly the easiest to talk to, barely got a smile from you” you pressed your lips together in response.

“I’m sorry”

Joel quickly shook his head walking back towards you.

“No no, don’t apologize. You didn’t owe me a thing. That was just you and that’s ok” you stood silent for a moment, looking away not sure how to respond. Joel cleared his throat and walked back to the counter and served two plates before placing them on the table.

The two of you ate in silence but you could tell he wanted to say something but didn’t know how.

“So. Tonight there’s a town party, I already told Tommy and Maria you wouldn’t be up for it so you don’t have to worry-“

“Why not?” You surprised him, his chewing slowed down.

“Didn’t think you’d be interested to go-“

“I mean…I’m not but if you’re gonna go” he shook his head looking at you across the table.

“Wasn’t plannin’ on it”

“Maybe we should, I’ll only go if you go. Just for a little bit” truth be told it wasn’t something you felt ready for but apart of you wanted to see something different.

Anything to distract your mind.

“I don’t wanna dance or nothin’, we can just sit and…and watch I guess”

He nodded and took another bite of his food.

“We could do that.”

~~

That evening you didn’t dress any different than you usually did, not that you had many options to wear. Joel waited for you outside wondering how the night would go, how you would feel.

Quietly you walked beside him to the party, you could hear the live music coming from inside, two people coming out in laughter making you stop in your tracks.

“You alright?” He looked down over at you.

“We don’t have to go in if you don’t want to”

You looked up at him and smiled in response.

“It’s ok, let’s go.”

Walking in with Joel attracted eyes from almost every direction, you instantly felt a discomfort that you couldn’t hide and unexpectedly reached up for Joel’s arm beside you. He looked down at you, placing his hand over yours as he led you inside to a wooden table on the left where Tommy and Maria were.

“Think he’s spoken to her?” Maria whispered sarcastically. Tommy didn’t say a word watching as you held on to Joel’s arm walking towards them.

“Tommy, Maria” he greeted them with a nod as you smiled slightly hiding beside him.

“Surprised you showed up” Tommy raised his brows as Joel pulled a chair out for you. He sat beside you and shrugged looking around the room.

“Figure I’d come see the hell the fuss is about”

Tommy smirked at him before pouring him a drink and looking back at the others dancing.

It wasn’t so bad although you did get looks from others that made you feel slightly self conscious but not enough for you to leave.

“I’m gonna use the restroom” you leaned to Joel before getting up and walking towards the door. Tommy noticed how Joel watched your every move and shook his head.

“Diggin’ yourself deeper ain’t you” Joel turned back to him.

“I can’t cut her loose now, not now” he took a sip of his drink.

“It ain’t ever gonna be a good time, brother. This ain’t how you should do it”

Tommy knew his brother didn’t like hearing this, he didn’t say a word. Instead he looked back to you coming out of the restroom when you were suddenly approached by Jesse.

“Hey, you actually came” Jesse stopped you in your tracks catching you off guard. Joel immediately stood up alert making his way to you.

“You here alone?”

“I- no-“

“No she ain’t” Joel appeared behind Jesse making you breathe in relief.

“Of course she’s not” you looked up to see Ellie. You had seen her around a few times but she would never say anything to you, always rushing off past you as if you did something to her.

“Ellie-“ Joel’s voice was low with somewhat of a warning.

“What” she looked over at you with a smirk.

“So you like Joel huh?” You couldn’t tell if she was being serious or sarcastically taunting you. Joel stepped closer, in between you and her now.

“Ellie, please”

“Don’t worry, I won’t ruin anything for you” she whispered with a hint of sarcasm as the music continued to play loudly in the background, you could barely make out what she said.

“You should come to our table, spend some time with us” Jesse suggested taking another step toward you before Joel blocked it.

“That ain’t happenin’”

“Come on, she could decide for herself, Joel. She isn’t a damn kid. Who are you to get in the middle of anything?” the tension only making you anxious.

“I wanna go home” you quickly cut in making Joel and Jesse look back at you, he could tell you were about to hyperventilate.

“I want to leave” your voice cracked making Joel quickly take you by the hand and lead you outside.

You followed close beside him, eyes fixed on Joel as he glanced over his shoulder, leading you away—quick, determined steps putting distance between you and that place, back toward home.

“Joel…” you said softly, your voice nearly lost in the rush of his footsteps and the tightness in his shoulders.

“Joel!” you called louder this time, and he finally stopped, turning sharply with a startled look—like he hadn’t even realized you’d been speaking.

His eyes met yours, searching.

“Why do I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me?” you asked, the words trembling out before you could stop them.

His face tightened.

“Did I do something to Ellie?” you added, voice quieter now. “Did I say something wrong? Did I make her hate me?”

Joel’s expression shifted—surprised, almost pained. He shook his head quickly.

“No—no, you haven’t done a damn thing,” he said, firm but gentle. “It ain’t you.”

But the unease in your chest didn’t ease. The way he avoided your eyes, the silence that followed… it didn’t add up. It all felt wrong.

You looked away, the ache in your stomach twisting tighter. Without another word, you turned and hurried ahead, leaving him standing there in the quiet street behind you..

Tags: @orcasoul @onlyforyuto @picketniffler @smvtwitchmiller

[joelslastofus]

I’ve been so busy lately but I’m almost done with another chapter to my amnesia story, I might post tomorrow or the next day latest. Sorry everyone 💜

[joelslastofus]

Borrowed Nights

[SUMMARY: Joel comforts you after recently having lost your husband who was one of his best friends. (This takes place in Jackson.)]

Angst, sloww burn, mention of death, eventual romance, smut as the chapters go on. inspired from a movie I saw and couldn’t help myself.

Chapter 1: 3am

Three weeks had gone by since your husband Jeremy was killed on patrol. You felt numb to say the least, still you had to try to keep yourself together for the sake of your 12 year old son Luke and 5 year old daughter Mila. Jeremy and you had had these conversations in the past, the risks of something going wrong, the possibility of what your reality now was. You hated it. Part of you was heartbroken, sick, sad for your children without a father but another part of you was angry, angry that this happened at all. Of course you had support in Jackson, Jeremy being good friends with Tommy, Joel and most of the main crew, you had many looking out for you..many checking in on you.

That evening you began to prep dinner, food you knew you wouldn’t touch, barely having an appetite anymore. The sound of a knock on the door making you turn over to see Joel on the other end of the screen, Mila yelled with excitement running towards the door.

“Joel!” She excitedly turned the handle letting him in.

“Hey, honey-“ he spotted the soccer ball in her hand.

“You hit any goals yet?”

“Almost! Luke has been teaching me how to play!” Her brother showed up behind her greeting Joel with a nod, he was much more quieter than his sister.

“Oh yeah? Then you’ll hit a goal in no time” he smiled at her before walking to the counter you stood before. His smile fading as he got closer to you, he could see how drained you were. The sadness in your eyes, the dark circles around them, you couldn’t hide your grief.

“Just wanted to uh..see if ya needed anythin’”

Joel spoke softly to you, always did.

“Well I’m fine” you responded sharply not looking up at him. You didn’t mean to act this way, they all knew this wasn’t like you but they understood it and refused to give up on you no matter how many times they were turned away.

“How about you come on over, Ellie and I are makin’ a meatloaf-“

“No thank you”

“Aw come on, mom. I wanna see Ellie-“

“I said no” you quickly cut off Mila who pouted and walked to the living room. Joel stood silent watching her leave the room, he knew he couldn’t say a word.

“Look..if uh-“

“Yeah I know if I need anything just let you know. I got it” you responded coldly as you continued to focus on what you were doing. Joel silently nodded before looking at Luke and leaving the house.

As you distracted yourself with continuing to prep the meal you hadn’t noticed Luke step out after Joel left. Running towards him be called out his name.

“Hey, Joel!” He stopped quickly turning to find Luke running towards him.

“Sorry about my mom being rude back there” he shook his head.

“Don’t worry about it, kid”

“Just don’t want you…to..to stop coming by cause of the way she acts”

Joel frowned.

“That won’t happen. I promised your dad and I promised you I’d be here checking in and that’s what I’m gonna do. Your mom she uh..just gotta give her some time,” Luke nodded as he looked down.

“I tell you what, how about tomorrow we have a soccer game, me you, Tommy and Mila. I’ll teach you some tricks your dad knew” his eyes lit up as he nodded.

“Okay, now go help your mama set the table, I’ll see you tomorrow” he pat his shoulder as he went off running back to the house with excitement.

You looked through the window to see your son talking to Joel, you could see the sincerity as he spoke to Luke, you could see the comfort he gave him that you couldn’t.

“What did Joel want?” You asked as Luke entered with a smile.

“Oh nothing, he wants to have a soccer game tomorrow with Tommy, said he’d teach me a few tricks” he grinned before stopping in his tracks.

“If that’s ok with you?” You could see the hope in his eyes, the excitement he felt.

“Of course” you smiled watching as he happily skipped off.

~~

You knew Joel and Tommy were only trying to help, you knew they only had the best intention but your grief wouldn’t allow you to accept it.

Laying in bed looking at the ceiling you thought about the last time you slept alone.

You couldn’t remember.

It was strange having an empty queen size bed, only for you to lay in. You tossed and turned every night, before you knew it night would turn to day and it was just another night of no sleep. The nights you did close your eyes you’d wake up hyperventilating, dreaming of the way Jeremy was killed.

You sighed sitting at your windowsill looking out, tears silently falling as you prayed for a way to finally get some rest. You couldn’t take it when suddenly you noticed Joel’s bedroom light turn on. It was three in the morning and Joel was awake too and that’s when you thought of the strangest idea.

Slowly walking up his porch steps you hesitantly knocked on the door, taking a deep breath you held your robe around you. When Joel opened the door he instantly looked concerned, surprised-

“Everything alright? The kids ok?”

“Uh..yeah..yes” you responded followed by an awkward silence.

“This is going to sound…weird but I need a favor” he straightened up by the door.

“Anything, you name it”

“Look I know you’ve been trying to help and I’ve been..I’ve been giving you a hard time but I really could use some help”

“Just name it darlin’, what is it?”

“I need to sleep” your voice cracked as you felt a knot forming in your throat, Joel’s brows furrowed unsure by what you meant.

“Can you please…can you lay with me till I fall asleep?” You could tell he was slightly puzzled by the idea, slightly hesitant.

“Please, Joel. I haven’t slept since he died and I’m going crazy. I’m not used to sleeping without him-“ you began to cry.

“He used to um-he used to rub my head till I slept and I just-“ Joel’s heart broke for you. This was the first time you had spoken this much since his passing and if this was a way he could help you, Joel was going to.

“Please, Joel, I’ll-“

“I’ll do it” he responded softly catching you off guard.

“You will?” You whispered with your eyebrows raised.

“Course I will, come on. Let’s get cha some sleep” he closed the door behind him and proceeded to walk you back to your house. The walk back was silent although you felt relieved. He knew it was hard for you to ask, he knew how strange it must’ve felt for you but he also knew how badly you needed it.

Following you up the stairs he waited for you to open the bedroom door and invite him in. Awkwardly you shut the door behind him as he stared down at the bed.

“You can just lay on that side” you pointed to the right side of the bed as you went around towards the wall.

“You sure you wanna do this?” He asked, his hands by his side.

“I need to” you whispered and looked away.

“I used to um…lay on his chest till I fell asleep then just roll over and I promise I won’t take long, as soon as I’m asleep you can go” you assured him. He nodded quietly placing his hands on his hips looking down at the bed before removing his shoes and doing as you asked. Joel lay back against the pillow, one leg on the ground with the other on the bed. He watched as you slowly got in beside him, he didn’t move, allowing you to place yourself where you wanted to be at your own pace.

“I just…would lay like this” you slowly placed your head on his chest and awkwardly placed one leg over his. He swallowed hard holding himself still, not allowing himself to make any sudden movement that might make you uncomfortable.

“Then-“ you took his hand and bought it your head.

“He’d just rub my head till I was asleep” he began to gently do as you said and watched you close your eyes on him. He could see the instant relaxation you felt, the relief in your breath as you allowed yourself to relax.

It wasn’t Jeremy…Joel had a different scent from him, but you did like it. Joel watched you slowly drift into a deep sleep while laying on him, your body feeling a relaxation you hadn’t felt in weeks. Fifteen minutes later, just as you said you would, you rolled over on to your back sound asleep. Joel lay still for a moment looking over at you before pushing himself up from the bed. You didn’t move as he slowly pulled the blanket up over you, taking a step back by the door he took one last look at you and left the room.

~~

The next morning you woke up feeling well rested. You remembered how you had invited Joel over and quickly turned to the other side of the bed to see he was no longer there. It was nice having finally slept before realizing it was much later than you had planned to wake up.

“Mila, Luke!” You called out as you rushed own the stairs before looking out the window and seeing Tommy and Joel playing with them just out front. The sound of the front door opening made Joel look over.

“Mom’s awake!” Mila ran towards you, wrapping her tiny arms around you.

“Hi, baby, having fun?”

“Yes! Joel taught me a neat trick, I have to show you!” She went running off to get the ball as Joel walked towards you. Slightly embarrassed thinking of the request you had the night before your cheeks turned a light shade of pink.

“Figured we’d let you sleep”

“Yeah, uh..thanks” you smiled before looking off into the distance at the others.

“Hey, um about last night” you turned back to Joel who had never taken his eyes off you.

“I know it was weird and I appreciate what you did for me but..can we please keep it between us? I don’t want anyone thinking-“

“Don’t know what you’re talkin’ about” Joel smirked before giving you a wink just as Mila ran back towards you.

Tommy did notice a slight difference in the way you acted today, the fact that you even smiled at all. He leaned back with Maria beside him watching as you laughed with the kids while Joel walked back to him.

“What’d you do?” Tommy joked, Joel responded with a slightly confused expression.

“With?”

“She’s actually talkin’ today” he motioned towards you as Joel stood beside him watching you from afar.

“Nothin’ just reminded her she wasn’t alone” he watched as you ran around with the kids playing soccer, something none of them had seen you do since before Jeremy passed.

~~

Today was a good day. That wasn’t something you’d been able to say since the day you lost your husband but having a night of rest did make a difference for you. You felt more present with your children today and it made you feel good. Yet here you were once again at 2 in the morning staring at your ceiling.

“Jesus Christ” you sat up and looked out the window to Joel’s house next door. What did you expect him to come over every night and babysit you till you slept?

~~

Here you were standing on his damn front porch again, feeling stupid, feeling awkward yet still knocking on his door. He opened the door with an amused expression as you took a deep breath.

“Sorry-“

“Come on, let’s go” he wasn’t going to let you ask again, he knew how hard it was for you to ask the first time. He walked beside you back to the house as you remained silent. You didn’t know what to say, he could tell you felt uneasy, you didn’t like bothering anyone for help, much less something like this.

“You alright?” He asked as you stopped at your front door.

“Yes…I just…I don’t like bothering you and I feel so stupid-it doesn’t matter let’s just get this over with” you walked in ahead of before he could say a word.

The house was dark and quiet as he followed you up the stairs. Once entering the room, he already knew what you wanted him to do and so he lay down first before you crawled into bed. This time he noticed what you wore, a black tank top with shorts to go along with it. He noticed the chain around your neck carrying Jeremey’s ring and looked away. He let you adjust your body on his, your head on his chest with your hand resting on him, he began to rub your head as you closed your eyes.

“You don’t have to feel stupid with me, you ain’t botherin’ me one bit” your eyes fluttered open as he spoke.

“If this is the only way I can help you, you come get me as many times as you need, you hear me?” You nodded softly on him.

“Thank you, Joel” you whispered before closing your eyes and falling to sleep.

~~

Joel walked in not expecting to see Ellie awake in the living room. She lay back reading a book before looking up at him.

“What was that about?” A playful tone in her voice.

“Huh? Whaddya mean?” He walked to the kitchen as she sat up with a smirk.

“It’s like 3 in the morning, you taking off in the middle of the night with-“

“Oh that’s nothin’” he responded nonchalant as he looked for a glass to drink from.

“Sure it’s not, she seemed pretty different today. I mean obviously she’s upset but she actually interacted with us” Joel stood still staring across the room at Ellie and nodded.

“Sooooo”

“Ain’t it past your bedtime?” He asked with a squint of his eyes.

“Oh come on, you can tell me. Who am I gonna tell?” She walked towards him at the counter. With his hands on his waist, after a moment of silence he pressed his lips together and gave in.

“Look, she just needs some help with sleepin’ and-“ Ellie raised her brows.

“Not like that” he made a face at her.

“Jeremy was a good friend of mine and it hasn’t been easy with her acceptin’ any kinda help so when she asked me to just lay with her, I accepted.” Ellie eyes slightly widened but she didn’t say a word.

“Just don’t say nothin’ to anyone, it’s already hard on her as it is”

“Not saying a word” Ellie put her hands up but Joel could read her face very well, he knew what she was thinking.

“Go to bed,” she nodded in response and quietly walked up the stairs as Joel stared off into space. He knew he only wanted to help you, it wasn’t anything more..at least that’s what he told himself. But Joel slowly found himself enjoying being able to be there for you tonight. Being your comfort in the dark..

[joelslastofus]

[SUMMARY: After Ellie finds out you and Joel are intimate, the two of you struggle to keep a distance from each other…or more so Joel does. And he’s not a fan of the attention you’ve been getting from other men.]

Not Holding Back Chapter 2: Porch lights

Smut smut horny/protective Joel

Things had been somewhat normal since the day Ellie decided to expose what happened between you and Joel to everyone. As normal as it could be after what happened two weeks ago you suppose. Of course there were stares from others, it didn’t matter that you and Joel agreed to keep a distance from one another in public only agreeing to see each other at night once all porch lights were off. You really only had seen each other once since that night and Joel was growing impatient till he could see you again. He didn’t care much for the attention he got from others but he hated it for you, he hated seeing the way others would look at you, especially the other men in Jackson. You wouldn’t notice at times, the men around you sharing comments to each other just as you’d walk by. Tommy would see just how pissed Joel would get, sometimes attempting to distract him before he’d do something stupid.

“You alright?” Tommy walked up to his brother who had his eyes narrowed on one of the guys, Carlos as he walked away in the distance. Taking a walk around the town was something Joel used to enjoy but now he found himself watching men stare at you or mention your name as they passed him.

“Just fine” Joel turned back to Tommy who had his arms crossed.

“Have you spoken to-“

“No” Joel quickly cut him off, he hated that he hadn’t spoken to you. Between your schedules and his while hiding from everyone, the two of you barely had time and Joel was frustrated in more ways than one. The man was used to years without sex but from the moment he had you, he couldn’t stop thinking about you. His body ached for yours in ways he had never felt before.

“Are you gonna see her?”

“Who said I was gonna see her?” Joel responded defensively making Tommy chuckle.

“Come on, you guys can try to hide it from everyone else here but I know you”

“Anything else?” Joel responded in a grumpy manner. Tommy shook his head before Joel walked off, quickly getting distracted at the sight of Carlos having a word with you. You didn’t say much, a soft smile with a shake of your head before you walked away. His eyes narrowed on Carlos as he watched the way he stayed watching you walk off. Carlos turned the opposite way and left while Joel stood still, his hands balled into tight fists he hadn’t even noticed before another man walked past him staring at him strangely.

“The hell you lookin’ at” he snapped at the man who quickly looked away and didn’t say a word.

Enough was enough, Joel couldn’t wait till the next day after dark to meet you. He knew you had the shift at the bar that night and although you asked him to not make it obvious, he decided to show up that night and he knew you’d be pissed…at first.

~~

“Not many people here tonight, think you can close up?” Seth asked looking around the bar.

“Yeah I got it,” you nodded, Seth patted your shoulder and walked out.

Joel watched closely from outside, he saw Seth leave and knew he could go in through the back door. When he did he could see you through the small window of the swinging door, he watched as you poured a drink for someone, the sound of your laugh could be heard from where he was. He watched silently with a smirk, waiting for you to come to the back until he noticed who you were pouring the drink for.

It was Carlos.

Joel became distracted at the way the man undressed you with his eyes. So distracted he hadn’t noticed you walking towards the door until you swung it open. You gasped with your hand to your chest not expecting to find Joel in the back room.

“Joel! What the hell are you doing here?” He hadn’t even looked at you, still staring through the small glass window.

“How did you get in here?” He finally looked towards you yet his eyes distracted.

“He botherin’ you out there?”

“What? No” you shook your head confused.

“Joel-“ you whispered taking him by the hand further into the back room to not be seen by the doors.

“I thought we agreed-“

“I know” he was breathing hard, his eyes looking down at you as if he wanted to say more.

“Look, I gotta get back to work. We’ll see each other tomorrow night” you almost turned to walk away till he caught you by the hand and pulled you towards him. He knew your worries, he knew your concerns of Ellie or anyone finding you two together..again but Joel couldn’t wait any longer. All he did was think of you from the moment he woke up till he went to sleep, the sound of your voice, the touch of your skin, the way he felt inside you..

“Joel..” you whispered, his lips close to yours. His breath against your skin, it was tempting to kiss him.

“Just a kiss..” he whispered, his eyes met yours and you could see how desperate he was for it. You nodded and Joel didn’t wait a second longer instantly pulling your body against him, his lips on yours. You wrapped your arms around him, feeling how much his body yearned for you, a simple kiss making him hard against you. His arousal only exciting you, your lips parting from his for just a moment looking into each other’s eyes.

“Please..” he whispered, his hands tightening on your waist.

“Joel-“

“Just a quickie…please baby, I need you so bad” the desperation in his whisper, his southern drawl sending a tingling sensation between your thighs. You wanted it just as much as he did, he began to kiss your neck.

“Don’t make me wait another day baby…need to feel you..” your eyes rolled back at the gentle sensation of his lips against your neck, his facial hair brushing against you…you couldn’t hold back any longer. Without saying a word you quickly began unbuttoning your pants and pushed them down before reaching for his. Joel shook his jacket off letting it fall on the floor as you pulled down his pants far enough to expose his erect cock. He moved quickly, roughly turning you around and leaning you over a table just as you felt him position himself behind you. The tip of his cock sliding against your folds, he could feel you were already wet, turned on by his need for you, his touch and he didn’t wait a moment longer.

“Look at you ready for me” he whispered hoarsely.

You both gasped simultaneously with his first thrust in you. His hands on your hips, he slowly moved in a rhythm that made your eyes roll back. His teeth clenched together as he slammed himself against you, the feel of you that he so desperately waited for, was finally his. The music from the bar muffling any sound you made, you had forgotten Carlos was patiently waiting for you to come back around for another drink. Nothing else mattered in that moment. You moaned grabbing onto the edge of the table as he thrusted harder, the sound of your voice sending him over the edge.

“Yes, Joel-take me..just like that” you gasped as he unexpectedly pulled you by your hair, your body back up against his.

“I want you in my bed tonight” he whispered roughly against your ear.

“Joel-“

“I can’t wait till tomorrow baby, can’t you see what you’re doin’ to me” he cut himself off with a moan he knew he was about to cum. Looking down with one hand on your waist he watched himself slide in and out of you, your hair wrapped around his other hand as he quickly pulled out and came on your ass. You screamed as he tugged at your hair the more he came till he slowly let go. Stumbling back searching for somewhere to lean on till his body hit the wall, Joel panted with his eyes closed.

~~

“Now you have to leave” you raised your brows at him as you fixed up your hair and clothes, Joel stood dressed putting on his jacket.

“Right?” You squinted your eyes till he slowly walked towards you and yanked you against him.

“Come to my bed tonight” he whispered.

“Joel-“

“Come to my bed and I’ll leave” of course you wanted to. If it were up to you, you’d be in bed with him every night, waking up beside him every morning.

“You know I want to but let’s just..take it slowly” you whispered. Joel silently gave you a nod and leaned in for a passionate kiss and left out the back door without saying a word.

~~

“Where the hell you been? Just about to take over the bar myself and drink from the bottle” Carlos chuckled as you awkwardly rushed towards him.

“Sorry, spilled some stuff back there and-“ you turned your back to him not realizing Joel had walked in and silently sat beside Carlos.

“It was sucha mess” Joel chuckled hearing the trouble you were having to make up a lie till you turned to him and nearly jumped at the sight of him.

“Joel-“ you whispered before composing yourself, you walked towards Carlos and poured whiskey into his empty cup.

“I’ll have what he’s havin’” he looked directly at you, you could feel his eyes on you. You wanted to kill him in that very moment and he knew it.

“Sure” you spoke softly before grabbing a glass and pouring him a drink.

“Hey, honey, you mind?” Carlos shook his glass at you as you placed Joel’s drink before him. Joel kept himself still, he knew he couldn’t react, not yet at least but you could see with the corner of your eye the way he paused for just a moment. His cup close to his lips before he took a sip and remained silent.

“My ice melted, mind getting me some more?”

You nodded as you took his glass and turned around to the small freezer behind you. Joel watched as you bent over scooping a cup of ice and instantly knew what Carlos was doing.

“Get me the small chunks of ice that are all the way at the bottom-“ you reached lower as Carlos mumbled something to himself you didn’t hear. Joel turned catching the way he looked at your ass, your legs…his grip on the cup tightening. Watching another man look at you the way Carlos did was something he couldn’t ignore and when you turned back you noticed the way Joel had his eyes on him. Subtly you cleared your throat catching Joel’s attention as you returned Carlos’ cup.

“I’ll be right back” you whispered awkwardly.

“So it’s true, huh” Carlos laughed before taking a drink, Joel remained serious looking over at him.

“Excuse me?” He spoke low but the threat in his tone was loud.

“How’d you get between those legs” Carlos motioned towards the door you had just walked through, Joel could feel the heat in him rise as Carlos slowly looked back at him.

“The hell you just say?”

“Hey, we all know it” he chuckled.

“You don’t like what I’m saying? You should hear the rest of the town, every man wants a turn with her after hearing how easy she is”

Joel quickly got to his feet just as Carlos did. With a threatening glare he walked towards him as Carlos stood straight with a smirk.

“You wanna fight me over a slut-“ Joel abruptly grabbed Carlos by his collar shoving his back against the bar, you quickly noticed through the window what was going on and ran back out.

“Joel!” You yelled.

“Say another word, I dare you” Joel whispered as Carlos looked up at him.

“Joel, let go of him!” He stood still for a moment before pulling his hands away and taking a step back. Carlos looked over at you before finishing the last of his drink, he slammed his glass down and walked out the bar.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” You walked around the bar towards Joel.

“Why the hell did you even come in here?!”

“I wasn’t gonna leave you alone in the bar with that creep” he explained as he looked towards the door.

“What did he say?”

“I didn’t like the way he was lookin’ at you” he lied. Of course he did, Joel already felt guilty enough with the way Ellie had embarrassed you, he wasn’t about to embarrass you more and tell you how this asshole was talking about you. But you could tell he wasn’t telling you everything… you’d heard it all.

“Let me guess, he wanted a piece of the town slut?” Joel’s eyes shot up to you.

“Yes…I’ve heard that one before” you chuckled sarcastically. What you said only angered him.

“He say somethin’ to you before I came in here?” He looked as if he was ready to go out there and react with whatever you may tell him.

“No, Joel. I could just tell by the way he was looking at me. I’m not stupid” he looked back at the door once again and around the empty bar.

“You shouldn’t be doin’ this anymore. I’ll talk to Maria tomorrow, have you moved somewhere else-“

“Joel I’m fine here” you insisted but he wasn’t having it.

“Listen I know men like him” he moved towards you.

“It ain’t gonna stop there and I’m not waitin’ for somethin’ to happen” you could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn’t going to give up easily and maybe he had a point.

“Fine” you whispered. Joel kept his eyes on you for a moment, lost in thought until he took a deep breath.

“Im gonna make things right for you and with Ellie, she just needs some time”

“I know. Don’t worry, Joel…she’ll come around again”

Joel nodded slowly, you could tell he was hurt by it all. You knew how much Ellie meant to him but you knew he also didn’t like to talk about it.

“So you’re gonna walk me home?” You changed the subject making him look up.

“Gonna walk you to my home” he corrected with a playful look, you smiled eager yourself to spend the night with him.

Tags

@moonpascal @katmoonz @picketniffler @stcrrjoon @itsamandi @starry-eyes-love @theoraekenslover @psychoenergy @joeldjarin @heartpatch @baronessvonglitter @guelyury @mynameistokyo @harriedandharassed @locaparapedrito @untamedheart81 @rosaliedepp @illyanam1011 @hopefulatrocity @tikikiki @thewritermj @l0veang3l @manuymesut @katiemarieeee @unknownomgg @secretcheesecakenacho @missladym1981 @xmaykeca @dendulinka6 @wintersquirrel @malfoycassimalfoy @scorpio-echo @orcasoul @mysteryhexgirl @locaparapedrito @alloftheimagines @mystickittytaco

@ashleyfilm @justajoelsreader @lonely-ey3s

@elliesr1fle @ro-nahime-things @southernbe @dendulinka6 @laliceee @just-mj-or-not @iamtoriasworld @gwend0lyne @lily-mylove @antobooh @sukivenue @keileighr

[joelslastofus]

You have absolutely no obligation to complete ppls requests so I appreciate that you’re even taking time out of your day to write them ❤️ I do enjoy your writing a lot!

Aww thank you so much, I appreciate the requests that I get and anyone who reads them 💜 honestly makes me so happy. Thank you very much 🥹

[joelslastofus]

Hi!

Will there be a part 2 of the risks we take?

Im obsessed lol

Hi! Of course!! I’m just working on another chapter right now for Not Holding Back, once I finish that I’ll do another part for the risks we take

[joelslastofus]

No rush!!! But I do be checkin daily for your new Joel fic 😂🙏🏻❤️

😭😭 I’m working on it I promise!! I appreciate the eagerness to read my stories 💜

[joelslastofus]

Are you going to make a part two of Not Holding Back

Yes I am 😏 working on it now

[joelslastofus]

If I can please make another request 👉🏻👈🏻

Joel Miller smut with an established relationship (maybe leading off the last fic where she’s Ellie’s friend) and they can’t get enough of eachother doing it in risky places which is very uncharacteristic for Joel but he just can’t control himself when it comes to her, especially going soooo long without sex

Something like that maybe if you want to ❤️ I really love your stories!!!

Hiii!! Love the requests! And thank you 💜 yes I can continue that story with some more risky smut 😏

[joelslastofus]

The Risks We Take

[Summary: After Joel accidentally hurts you causing you to lose your memory, the truth becomes hard to escape. ]

Angst, mention of death, blood

This story will go into the readers past with SA, this chapter it’s not mentioned specifically but I will warn when it is!

Chapter 1: Tim

Tommy had you in a room waiting alone for what felt like forever. Maria had looked at you strangely when you walked past her, you thought nothing of it at first but the more time that passed the more anxious you felt. Finally Tommy walked in, this time with his brother Joel. Joel and you didn’t speak very much despite him being good friends with your brother, you had a mouth on you and he never could get past an obvious guard you put up. You didn’t like help and you sure as hell didn’t trust anyone besides your brother Tim.

Tommy stood before you with Joel beside him, both men looking as if they were afraid to speak. Neither could look you in the eye.

“So are either of you gonna talk?” You raised a brow, your question making both men look at each other before Tommy finally spoke.

“There was an incident today”

“What kinda incident?” You leaned forward confused.

“Your brother Tim was on patrol earlier-“

“Yeah I know with Jesse. Still waiting for them to get back”

“He didn’t go with Jesse” Joel suddenly spoke, his jaw clenching as he struggled with what he was about to say.

“What are you talking about? I saw them both getting ready to leave this morning-“ you looked around the room scratching your temple.

“What’s this about?” Your patience running thin as it usually did, you were always the very outspoken one.

“Tim went with me this mornin’ to patrol and we…-“ Joel hesitated to speak.

“-we came across a few infected-“

“Where is he?” You abruptly stood up.

“What happened was out of our control” Joel continued but he knew his words were useless.

“Where the hell is he?!” You walked towards him, tears building up in your eyes.

You already knew.

“Tim got bit and…I had no choice-“ he looked away.

“No” you shook your head.

“No, that couldn’t have happened” you whispered.

“I’m sorry” Joel looked down.

Tommy watched as you stood still, crushed with what you were just told. He knew how much your brother meant to you, how much he helped you. He was closer to Tim than Joel was and knew more about you than Joel did. He didn’t know your full story but he definitely knew things he respectfully never shared with Joel or anyone else. He knew how this would affect you. Very quickly he saw the sadness in your eyes turn to anger.

“And…you…you killed him?”

Joel stood up straight, hands at his side.

“I had no choice”

Again, shaking your head as if you couldn’t wrap your head around his choice of words.

You began to whisper words to yourself neither of them could make out just as Tommy slowly reached out towards you.

“Come, let’s sit down-“

“You had no right!” you suddenly screamed rushing towards Joel. Your hands balled into fists, you punched his chest repeatedly.

“I’m gonna kill you!” You screamed as Joel caught your wrists attempting to control you. Your thoughts not making any sense, your feelings getting the best of you and he understood it.

“Listen to me! It’s not what I wanted to do dammit!”

“I hate you!” You screamed kicking him in the shin just as you began to sob.

“I needed him-I needed him” you whimpered. He felt your arms grow weak in his grasp and slowly let your arms drop.

“I hate you..” Joel swallowed hard looking down at you, it wasn’t the first time someone felt this way towards him. It wasn’t the first time he disappointed someone. Tommy attempted to take hold of you but Joel signaled for him to not get in the middle of it. Taking advantage of his distraction, you pulled out a pocket knife and flipped it open but Joel quickly caught your wrist in his hand.

“Dammit” Tommy whispered to himself, neither of them wanting to harm you.

“I got her, Tommy-“ Joel spoke looking down at you as you struggled against him.

“I hate you!” The more you attempted to wiggle your wrist out of his grasp the more tighter Joel’s grip on you became.

“Drop the damn knife” Joel demanded.

“Or what?” You spoke through clenched teeth.

“I don’t wanna hurt cha dammit” he tried to shake the knife out of your hand but you wouldn’t budge.

Joel knew he could easily hurt you, which is exactly what he was trying to avoid.

“What are you gonna do? Kill me too? Did he even know you were going to do it? Or did you just take upon yourself to just end his life without letting me say goodbye?” You kicked his leg trying to wave the knife towards his face when he suddenly turned you around and slammed you against the wall, the back of your head bouncing off the concrete. Just as he did, all Joel heard was a slight yelp from you and the knife was on the floor.

“Jesus Christ, Joel” Tommy whispered as Joel caught you in his arms, blood on his fingers as held your head.

“You fuckin’ knocked her out” he stood in shock as Joel slowly bought you to the ground.

“Shit” he held your head gently laying you in place before he pushed the knife away from your reach. It wasn’t his intention to knock you unconscious, it wasn’t his intention to hurt you in any way.

“What the hell happened here?!”

Maria walked in, shocked with how she found you.

“It was an accident” Joel spoke with regret as he stared down at you, still holding your head in his large hand.

“Shes breathing” Tommy explained.

“She tried to attack him and-“

“I ain’t mean to throw her that damn hard” Joel insisted, his eyes still on you.

“Just wanted her to let go of the knife”

“She’ll be fine, we’ll take her to the clinic and be ready for whenever she wakes up” Tommy gave Joel a nod with reassurance.

A few hours later, Joel found himself repeatedly asking the nurses if you had woken up, even entering your room himself to simply just check on you with his own eyes.

“God dammit, Joel. How many times I gotta tell you, you shouldn’t be in here. Don’t need her wakin’ up losin’ control again”

“I’ll leave” Joel spoke low as he eyed the rope that was tied around your wrist.

“Does she need to have that on?” He asked without looking away from it.

“It’s just for precaution, we’ll take it off as soon as she wakes up and she’s calm” Tommy assured Joel before Maria called out for him.

Walking out of the room he left Joel alone with you. Sitting on the chair beside your bed, he looked at you with deep regret when you suddenly whimpered softly.

“Ow…” you whispered, slowly passing your hand over the back of your head and opening your eyes. Slowly you looked around the room, your vision slightly blurry before you saw a figure of a man. A man quickly getting to his feet as you blinked a few times clearing your vision, it was someone you did not recognize.

“Don’t worry, I’m leavin’-“

“Who are you?” You blurt out in a whisper, confused with a look he had never seen before from you, a look of fear. His brows furrowed, puzzled by your question, puzzled by your reaction. Your eyes darting around when you noticed your other hand was tied against the railing of the bed. Your heart began to race, a panic washing over you.

Not again.

“No, not again, please-“ he could hear the terror in your voice as you began to tug at the rope around your wrist.

“Easy,-“ he attempted to approach you until you flinched.

“No!” You screamed, he stopped in his tracks lifting both hands taking a step back, a bit confused himself.

“Just gonna untie you” his brows drawn together as he spoke. Joel had known you for six months and sure, he’d seen you be defensive, independent but what had you so afraid, he couldn’t understand.

“Just gonna untie you” he repeated to assure you.

“I promise”

With a hesitant nod you looked away as he slowly took a small knife out of his pocket and cut the rope loose and backed away. Quickly you pulled your arm back and practically stumbled off the bed against the wall.

“Hey-hey, slow down” he walked around the bed wanting to help you but your terrified eyes reminded him to pull back.

“Stay away!” You screamed looking around the room for a weapon, anything to defend yourself.

“I’m not gonna hurt you, you’re free to go” Joel took a few steps back giving you space yet you hesitated to move.

“Are….are you with those men?” You whispered.

“What men?” Joel asked. In that moment their faces flashed in your mind. You could still hear their voices in your head…but this couldn’t be that place. This man was willing to let you leave, this man untied you, that would’ve never happened if he was one of them.

“You’re safe here” he spoke softly. He had no idea what you thought this place was, whatever it was, he wanted to assure you that you didn’t have to be afraid.

Your eyes found him, looking over his features as if you hoped something would give away who he was. He could tell how confused you were, how afraid you were, never had he seen you look so vulnerable.

“You know me…you know me for 6 months. I’m Joel”

“Joel” you whispered,

“What happened to me? Where’s my brother?” You took a step closer to the door, a step closer to Joel.

“You um- you were out with him and ya fell and, hurt cha head pretty bad-“ he lied thinking it was for the best. Hell, if you didn’t remember what happened, why not avoid a problem?

“Where’s Tim?” You asked with desperate eyes. You didn’t know this man but by the l look he gave you, you could tell it wasn’t a good thing.

“No..” your voice cracked, your hand caressing the wrist that was just tied up.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as you began to cry.

“And you….you bought me here? Why was I tied up? What were you gonna do to me?”

“Nothing” he responded quickly shaking his head, his eyes widening.

“I promise you, I wasn’t gonna do a thing” he assured you, you could hear the desperation in his tone, he slowly took a step towards you.

He knew Tommy should’ve listened. He told him the rope wasn’t needed, Joel already felt bad enough having hurt you the way he did.

“Just trynna prevent ya from hurtin’ yaself.” He knew his response was weak but being so lost in your confusion, you didn’t question it.

“How did he die?” You blurt out wiping a tear away. Your question making him tense up.

“He uh…he came across some infected and he…he ended it himself. Found you both not too far out. It was his turn to do patrol and-“ you cried cutting him off, looking away.

He swallowed hard, had you looked up at him you would’ve seen the guilt in his eyes. Not for doing what he had to do exactly but because he wasn’t telling you the whole truth.

Once you were able to catch your breath you slowly looked up at him, wiping away your tears.

“I’ve known you for six months?” You whispered, he responded with a nod.

“Were we…were you friends with me or my brother?” He blinked as if he just remembered something and quickly reached in his back pocket pulling out a paper of what looked like a photo. Slowly he reached it out towards you as you hesitantly took hold of it and opened it to see a Polaroid of your brother with a few men, one of them being Joel.

Your lips parted as new tears formed.

“We weren’t the best of friends but uh, we got along well and uh he was closer to my brother, Tommy” you nodded with a smile.

Joel knew Tim.

“Thank you for showing me this” you whispered.

“You can keep it if you’d like” he replied when the sound of the door opening made you practically run towards Joel hiding your face into his chest, your hands grabbing onto his shirt desperately. Joel didn’t know how to respond, unsure if he should touch you, hold you.

“Everything alright?” Tommy’s eyes darting between you and Joel confused by what he just walked into.

“It’s just my brother, Tommy”

You may not have known much about Joel but his eyes did offer you some kind of sincerity. Something that somehow in the middle of all the unknown, he felt familiar.

“Your brother?” You whispered still not looking up. Tommy didn’t know what was stranger, you not remembering a thing or you running to his brother in fear. It was something you promised yourself you would never let a man see again when you first arrived at Jackson and you had kept that promise up until now. The little that Tommy knew of you, he understood why you were defensive. Tim sharing with Tommy that you had been stuck with the wrong people, he never specified, but he was clear that it was men he eventually wanted to track down and kill.

“She uh….she don’t remember anything” Joel stated the obvious. The two men sharing a look as if they both agreed on something you weren’t in on but you didn’t notice.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Tommy asked as you stood still, hesitant to move or speak.

“It’s alright,” Joel whispered, his hands still careful to not touch you.

“Um..” you didn’t let go of Joel’s shirt as you slowly looked back at Tommy.

“I just remember running with Tim…in the woods and…I..I can’t remember anything else...” Joel and Tommy looked at each other before Maria walked in, he felt you jump against him, turning back to him. His hand gently coming up to rest on your lower back, careful to see your reaction. He felt you tug at his shirt pulling yourself closer. Joel looked up to see Maria as confused as Tommy was when he first came in.

“What did I miss?” She looked at Tommy strangely.

“This is Tommy’s wife, Maria. She’s good people,” Joel assured you as you slowly looked up at him.

After an awkward moment of silence you slowly turned to look back at Maria who welcomed you with a smile.

“How about my wife gets you something to eat, we’ll be right back” Tommy assured you but a part of you panicked.

“Where are you going?” You whispered looking up at Joel.

“Right outside,” you didn’t even have to ask, he could see the question in your eyes.

“I’ll come right back in, I promise” he assured you.

“I ain’t goin’ far,” Maria slowly walked up beside you taking your hand. Hesitantly you let go of Joel as she led you back to the bed while Joel walked out of the room.

~~

“She’s remembering the moment right before we first found her and her brother” Tommy walked beside Joel down the hall.

“Looks like she’s already attached to you, what’d you say to her?” He turned to his brother curiously.

“Not the truth” Joel responded with a hint of shame in his voice.

“Well for now we keep it that way, we don’t say nothin’ till we figure somethin’ out” he continued. “Who else knows what happened…with Tim?”

“Ellie and Jesse” Joel responded, both men remembering Jesse had a crush on you for sometime. A crush that never went anywhere but they knew they’d have to warn him to not tell you the whole truth…at least for now.

“Where did she say she came from again when we found her?” Joel asked thinking about the reaction you had when you woke up.

“Said they were apart of some group out west that got raided” Tommy looked at his brother curiously.

“Why do you ask?”

“When she first woke up and noticed she been tied up…she yelled out somethin’ that made it seem like- I don’t know” Joel brushed his hand over his facial hair taking a deep breath. Not knowing much himself, Tommy didn’t share what Tim had told him.

“Probably confused” he replied to his brother. Joel stood silent, he knew there was no way he’d have an answer on what you meant unless you decided to share it yourself.

“And if she remembers the truth about Tim on her own?” Joel looked back at the door that you were behind before looking back at his brother.

“She’s gonna be pissed, this dont even sound like the same woman that’s been with us all along. Must’ve hit her head pretty damn hard” Tommy chuckled as Joel looked lost in thought.

“Or maybe this has been her all along” Joel whispered low thinking just maybe this was why you always had your guard up. A fear that lay deep within you that you refused to share with others.

~~

“That woman is nice” you motioned towards the door Maria had just walked out of as Joel walked towards you.

“Yeah if you need anything, you can always go to her.” He nodded.

“So-“ you whispered, eyes looking around the room.

“Where are we? Like where-“

“Jackson,” he responded, hands in his pockets.

By the look on your face he could tell it was nowhere near where you expected to be.

“Far from where you were?” He wanted to know more about where you came from.

“Kinda, I..Tim and I..” your voice trailed off into silence as you thought about the last place you remembered.

“Where have Tim and I been staying?” You asked trying to distract yourself from your own thoughts.

“You were living in a house just by mine”

“A house?” You raised your brows. How strange, Jackson so far sounded like nothing you had ever come across before.

“When can I go back to this house?”

“Soon as you feel up to it, I’ll walk ya back”

“I’m ready to go now.”

~~

Walking beside Joel you noticed a few people staring at you strangely, of course no one you remembered. You wondered what they were thinking.

“Here we are” Joel stood beside you in front of a two floor house with a porch and handed you the keys. You swallowed anxiously before he looked over at you and waited for you to take the first step up the stairs.

“I can wait outside-“

“No, please…come with me” you blurt out staring at the door. Joel looked over at you and silently gave you a nod, slowly following you up the stairs.

Hesitantly you walked inside, the first thing you noticed was your brother’s blue hat sitting on the coffee table. A lump forming in your throat you looked away.

“Is um…is this home…is it secure?” You asked looking around the house.

“Our community is safe-“

“Nobody can break in right?” You rushed towards the windows before noticing each one was set with a trap. Joel caught up beside you, noticing the wires built around it. A sad smile forming on your lips.

“Tim would do this” you whispered looking at how the house was set up. Joel had never entered your house before, never had he seen anything like this. Tim knew what had happened to you, he knew how much it changed you, how much it traumatized you and when he found you he promised he would always keep you safe. You didn’t remember him doing this in particular but you knew it was him. Tim had specifically made it set for you to connect whenever you were in the house by yourself. The trap would send alarms throughout the house to go off if anyone tried opening a window or unlocking a door.

“Hell of a security system” Joel spoke low as he looked around the room.

“Tim knew how I felt about being alone. He was a great big brother” you spoke softly.

It made a little more sense now to Joel, why Tim refused to do night patrol. He didn’t want to leave you alone at night because of how afraid you were.

The both of you distracted by a sudden knock on the door you jumped beside him.

“It’s alright, probably Tommy” he assured you before opening the door as you stood behind him.

“Sorry uh…-“ Tommy turned towards you, an uncertain expression on his face.

“We have Tim’s body…if you’d like to see it” your lips parted in shock.

“His..,body?” Your hand over your heart.

“I didn’t know…I-“

“You don’t have to see it if you feel it’s too much” Joel turned to you, a look of concern.

“I have to. Please take me to him” you whispered. He silently nodded and followed you out with Tommy.

~~

Once Tommy bought you into the room, all you could see was his body covered with a white bloody blanket over him. You could feel your heart racing as Joel stood beside you, he could hear your breathing quicken.

“I’m right here” he leaned over to remind you.

Tommy turned to you hesitantly and crossed his arms.

“Maybe it ain’t a good idea to take the blanket off-“

“I want to see him” you insisted stubbornly. Tommy looked over at his brother who knew exactly what Tim was left looking like. Half his head blown off, he knew it would be too much for you. Joel turned to you, clenching his jaw looking down at the ground before he looked up at you.

“Maybe Tommy’s right-“

“I said I want to see him” you repeated not looking at either of them.

None of you noticing Ellie in the doorway, she watched as Tommy slowly took the blanket off your brother’s body. A sharp gasp escaped your throat, the sight feeling like a hit to your chest. You almost felt as if you couldn’t breathe, you lost your balance, Joel taking hold of your body straight up against his.

“I got you” he whispered one arm around your waist. You instantly turned wrapping your arms around him, clinging onto him as you cried. Ellie watched as Joel comforted you, guiding you away from your brother’s body as Tommy covered it.

The echoes of your cries haunting him as you grabbed onto him tightly. Tommy looked up and could see the guilt his brother felt, a guilt that he was struggling to hide.

“I know” he whispered, his hand brushing down the back of your head.

“He killed himself..he just-“ you sobbed.

“He did what he had to do to not risk hurting you, he was brave” Joel continued to lie. Ellie quietly squinting her eyes realizing what Joel was doing.

“You gotta be kidding me” she whispered to herself before rushing off.

~~

Joel had left you with Maria and her son for a bit of a distraction while he went to take care of a few things. You liked being with Maria and her son Benjamin, playing board games with him and forgetting the trauma that you had just learned in a short period, it helped even if it was just for a moment.

Joel was in his house buttoning his shirt after a fresh shower when Ellie walked up to his doorway.

“He shot himself huh?” Her voice making him look up somewhat surprised to see her in the house.

Joel stopped for a moment with a deep frown as his hands fell slowly to his side.

“It’s best she doesn’t know the truth-“

“According to who?”

“Tommy and I agreed” Joel looked away uncomfortably.

“How convenient” she responded sharply.

“Look, I know you don’t understand-“

“You’re right, I don’t understand why you lie about things-“

“It’s for her own good. We tried telling her the truth the first time and she got-“

“Yeah I heard what happened, you’re the reason she doesn’t remember a damn thing” Joel looked up slightly defensive.

“It was an accident. I wasn’t trynna hurt her, you know I wouldn’t-“

“Actually I don’t. I don’t know what you’re capable of anymore” Ellie stalked off, her footsteps heard loudly until she walked out and slammed the door shut.

Joel stared off into space with guilt, what he was doing didn’t feel right no matter what he was telling himself. You looking to him with comfort and trust poured salt on the wound.

~~

Maria and Tommy had left you at your front step, Joel could see the uneasiness you felt as he walked towards your front step.

“Meant to come back earlier” his voice causing you to jump, he immediately stopped where he was.

“Sorry-I…wasn’t thinkin’” he spoke gently looking up at you from the bottom of the steps.

“It’s ok, just gonna take some time for me to get used to…everything. It’s been a lot..”

Joel nodded.

“You take all the time you need” his comfort giving you a feeling of peace you needed. He could see how hesitant you were to go in your house, yet he didn’t want to invite himself in.

“You alright?” He took one step up.

“Oh uh-yeah” you looked back at your door. You felt stupid, you felt-

“Remember I’m right next door, if you need me you just flicker a light or somethin’ if it’s late and you don’t wanna come out. I’ll be right here” you breathed in relief with a nod. It was nice having Joel look out for you.

“Thank you, Joel” you stared silently at the door before slowly reaching out and turning the knob. The last memory you had of spending a night alone was before you found your brother again, the memories haunting you, making you sick to your stomach. Joel watched as you stood still, looking into the empty house. He wanted to help you but he waited until you turned back to him.

“Joel?” Your voice trembled when you called out for him.

“Do you think…maybe…just tonight..you can-“

“Need me to stay with you?” he finished your question hearing how much you struggled to ask.

“Course I can” you let out a breath of relief as he walked up the stairs beside you and led the way in.

It felt strange having a man that you didn’t remember spending the night with you, yet it also felt somewhat comforting, feeling you could trust him. Knowing that your brother knew him bought you that comfort.

“My brothers room is-“

“I’ll stay on the couch” he quickly interjected, a part of you relieved, not exactly wanting your brother’s room to be touched and he knew that.

“You get some rest, I’ll be fine here” he assured you seeing the doubt in your eyes.

“Joel. I really appreciate this, I don’t know how to thank you-“

“Don’t. Ain’t nothin’ to thank me for” he looked away feeling the guilt tearing through him.

“You’re being very kind to me. The last time I remember being alone was before Tim found me and…-“ you shook your head shaking off the thought.

“Just accept my thank you, please” Joel stood silent for a moment before giving you a nod, his lips pressed tightly together, you smiled and walked up to your bedroom.

~~

Joel had no clue just how deep the situation was turning into. Ellie informing Jesse of the lies being told. He didn’t think it was fair and Ellie holding so much resentment made sure he knew just how much of a liar Joel had been.

“So that’s why you two haven’t been talking” Jesse looked down at the table he sat at.

“And the best part? We’re not supposed to say anything. Tommy and Maria know and they’re just sticking to it”

“Can’t stay like this for long” Jesse whispered as Ellie shrugged.

“It can’t.”

[joelslastofus]

giiiiiiiiiiirrrrl that fic was way better than I could’ve imagined tysm for writing it i loved it!! ❤️

So glad you liked it!! Thank you 💜💜💜

[joelslastofus]

[SUMMARY: Joel and you aren’t honest about your feelings until one day his jealousy gets the best of him. Ellie walks into the house catching you both in the middle of being intimate.]

Not Holding Back

Smut angst, reader is Ellie’s friend in her 20s

Ellie’s birthday was coming up, working at the bar with Seth you overheard Joel making a trade with him.

“Try not to mess up her name this time” you chuckled to yourself, your back facing him as you put some glasses away.

“Oh, don’t worry, I got someone who’s better at it than myself” he unexpectedly called you over. You weren’t expecting him to point you out hiding in the corner just doing what you were told. Not that you didn’t want to see Joel, of course you did, that was the problem.

“Oh-hi, Joel” you turned to him as he cleared his throat, straightening himself in his seat.

“Didn’t know you were here now”

You walked towards him placing a glass in front of him as Seth turned away.

“Asked Maria to move me somewhere else, I don’t like to really stay in just one spot” you shrugged as you turned to get a bottle of whiskey. Joel’s gaze following your movements, he swallowed hard unable to stop himself from eyeing your backside till you turned back to him, he quickly looked away. He always felt wrong whenever he stole a glance.

“So, vanilla or chocolate?” You poured him a drink, a slight smirk on your lips.

“She did tell me she’d kill for a chocolate cake” you leaned against the counter as Joel struggled to find something to distract his eyes with. You’d noticed it a few times now, the way Joel would look at you. The looks making your heart skip a beat.

“Chocolate it is” he threw his head back downing the drink.

Yeah sure, he was a lot older than you and you were a close friend of Ellie’s but you couldn’t help the feeling you’d get whenever you saw him. He never really had to do or say much for you to feel it in the pit of your stomach or even between your thighs for that matter.

“I think it’s sweet” you spoke softly as his eyes met yours.

“That you always get her a cake for her birthday, I think it’s very sweet of you. She told me you’ve done it every year for her” Joel pressed his lips together unsure of how to respond. He didn’t need to say a word, his eyes beginning to trace your lips, he wondered if they were as soft as they looked when suddenly Seth came back beside you.

“You bought any more of those legos?” Joel’s gaze quickly turned to Seth. Awkwardly you smiled and excused yourself before heading to the back of the bar. Joel watching with the corner of his eye as you left out of his sight.

Joel didn’t understand how these feelings came about, all he knew was that it was wrong. Of course it was wrong, you had become close with Ellie teaching her a few things you knew. Certain mornings you would come by and pick Ellie up for training so she could start patrol, those mornings he made sure to keep himself busy sculpting. He didn’t know how much of himself he could hide from Ellie with you in his living room.

~~

It was early the next morning, Seth asked you to take the cake to Joel but before you could decline he got busy with trades from a few others.

Standing in front of Joel’s door soaked from the rain you waited until you heard the creak of the door as it opened. With a puzzled expression he looked down at the box in your hand.

“Seth asked me to-“

“I woulda gone” he interrupted.

“I don’t mind” you assured him as you handed him the box and that’s when he noticed your now transparent shirt. Your nipples erect, you hadn’t realized, Joel cleared his throat looking up at you, his eyes unsure of where to go. A clear look of discomfort making your eyes widen.

“I’m sorry for coming I just-“

“It’s fine” Joel groaned looking out beside you. God he wished it wasn’t raining, he knew he’d look like a dick if he didn’t offer you to come in.

Joel took a step back motioning for you to come in but you quickly shook your head.

“Oh no, it’s fine-“

“Get in, don’t need ya gettin’ sick” you pressed your lips together and gave in walking into his home. Joel closed the door behind you before leading you to the kitchen, it was quiet, you could smell the coffee on him as you followed him to the counter.

“She still asleep huh?” He nodded as he placed the box on the island standing on the opposite side of you hiding his arousal. For just a moment he got lost in the view before him as you kept your eyes on the box, his eyes drifting down to your breasts that you still hadn’t noticed were slightly visible.

“Well are you gonna look at it?” Your voice making him quickly look up.

“Huh? Oh yeah-“ he cleared his throat before reaching on the chair beside him, grabbing a flannel button shirt and handed it to you.

“What’s-“

“Just take it” Joel distracted himself slowly opening the box as you put on his shirt, the slightest curve on his lip as he looked down at the cake.

“You did this?”

“Uh yeah, used her favorite colors, don’t ask how I got it, but yeah” you chuckled looking down at the cake.

“It’s nice, thank you”

“I used to do it for the little kids whenever a birthday was coming up and I had supplies, it was my thing I guess” he looked at you intrigued.

“All this time and nobody ever told me a damn thing”

“Hey there’s a lot of things you don’t know about me” you smiled, your gaze meeting his. A soft look in his dark eyes before he caught himself and looked away.

“Should uh, get goin’, don’t want her to suspect anything just yet” you noticed his tone change, slightly cold.

“Yeah, I gotta do a few things now. I’ll see you around” Joel felt a bit shitty for rushing you out. But you standing soaked in his kitchen, wasn’t doing his imagination any good.

After making your way back to your house, you proceeded to unbutton his shirt to remove the wet top you wore underneath and that’s when you realized why he had given you his shirt in the first place.

“Oh my God-” you whispered staring at your now transparent top in the mirror.

You had no idea just what this sight actually did to Joel. You had no clue how hard he became standing across from you. Rushing you out the damn house so he could relieve himself at the thought of his lips closed around your nipple- he lay back defeated on his bed, his cum pooling over his hand as struggled to catch his breath.

~~

That evening you sat with a few others going over next days plan for patrol. Jesse had an idea of a new route to look into, after the council approved of it you both went over all the ways through.

“That chocolate cake was fucking amazing!” Ellie came up behind with a grin going around the table and sat across from you.

“I’m glad you liked it” you smiled as Joel walked up to Tommy and Maria just a table away.

“You made her a cake? How come you didn’t make me one?” Jesse teased, Joel noticed him playfully nudge you from where he was.

“Cause it’s not your birthday, jackass” you nudged him back.

“Didn’t your birthday pass” Ellie raised a brow at him.

“So? Maybe you can make me a cake for somethin’ else then.” He suggested as you stood up, Joel still with his eyes on you.

“Hm, I don’t know, I’ll have to think about it” you attempted to walk away until Jesse playfully grabbed your hand. Joel’s shoulders tensed up as he watched the way Jesse pulled you to him.

“Aw come on, a small one”

“Joel” Tommy spoke loudly catching his attention.

“The hell man, you listening or what?”

Joel adjusted himself in his seat turning towards his brother.

“Patrols going on a new route tomorrow, it’s you, Matt and-“ he motioned towards you and Jesse.

“You want me to cover for you-“

“I’ll go” Joel assured him before taking a look at the way you laughed with Jesse, the sight making his stomach turn. He’d never really seen you this playful with someone before.

~~

That night Jesse and you decided to go by the stables and decide which horses you would take for the next day. Prepping them as you usually did when Joel appeared. He didn’t say much, staying to himself as he prepped his own horse when he heard laughter coming from the both of you. He looked up to see Jesses arm around you, when he noticed a drink in his hand. Joel cleared his throat making you both look up at him a bit confused.

“Ain’t Maria and Tommy waitin’ on you to approve what else you needed for tomorrow?”

Joel’s eyes narrowed on Jesse.

“Yeah uh-“

“Then how bout ya stop wastin’ time drinkin’ and go over what is needed before it costs us a damn mistake” you frowned at Joel, he sounded cold, you’d never heard him talk to Jesse like that before.

“Joel, he was just about to-“

“With all due respect, darlin’ I’m talkin’ to your friend here,” you noticed his eyes move from yours to the arm that lay over your shoulder. Jesse genuinely confused by Joel’s sudden coldness.

“I apologize, I’ll be goin’ now” Jesse uttered low. Joel simply nodded and left the stables.

“The hell is wrong with him?” Jesse whispered looking down at you.

“Don’t know, don’t worry about it. Probably just in a mood” Jesse shrugged and went on his way.

It bothered you how Joel spoke to Jesse, his tone towards you, you made your way to his house eagerly knocking on his door. Joel silently opened to find you with your arms crossed.

“The hell was that?”

Joel took a deep breath turning away as he walked back to his kitchen finishing his drink.

“Why did you act like that with Jesse, you know he’s never been disrespectful to you”

Joel finished his drink not saying a word.

“Hello?” You stepped closer to the counter.

“Jesse should be on top of what we have goin’ on tomorrow, not foolin’ around…flirtin’” you almost snorted, he couldn’t even look you in the eye as he spoke.

“Flirting? Jesse was not flirting”

“Look a lot different from my side”

The tone in his voice actually making your blood boil, the man who could barely look you in the eye or speak to you having a problem with a friend having a laugh with you? It made no sense. But before you responded you took a deep breath and calmly placed your hands on your hips.

“And what’s it to you?” This time he did look you in the eye, his jaw clenching, he couldn’t help but glance at the way you stood in front of him. God damn it, he knew it’d be hard to act “hard” on you, standing in his damn living room pouting with your hands where he wanted to touch you.

You knew damn well there was nothing to it with Jesse, strictly just friends he would vent to you about his feelings for Dina but Joel didn’t know that.

And maybe a part of you was having fun with it.

“You should get back home” Joel responded low. You almost laughed.

“So now I should get back home?” You walked towards him as he stood in place straightening up as you got closer.

“Who the hell are you to be telling people what to and not do? Huh?” He sucked on his bottom lip as you spoke, God if you didn’t get out of his face this minute-

“What the hell do you care how Jesse is with me? If he’s flirting or not?” His tongue sliding up his inner cheek, trying to hold himself back but something in him snapped in that moment, unexpectedly even shocking you.

“You wanna know why?” he walked slowly towards you making you lean back against the counter. He breathed heavily staring down at you, his eyes darting back between your eyes and lips, your lips parted as you felt his body lean against you and you felt something.

Joel was hard, he was hard and he wanted you to know it. You gasped softly looking up at him, a tingly sensation forming down to your core.

“I’ve wanted you from the first damn moment I saw you” he whispered, he didn’t care if he was wrong for it, he couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“Every moment around you I feel like I can’t breathe -“ You couldn’t believe what he was saying, his face leaning closer to yours, you found yourself looking at his lips.

“I couldn’t let myself get close but-“ he shook his head.

“I can’t do it anymore, baby.” The pull you felt to each other could no longer be ignored, Joel kissed you, savoring the taste of you as he held your body against him. His tongue swirling along yours, as you wrapped your arms around him. His kisses trailing down to your jaw line as he roughly unbuttoning his shirt, eager to strip himself and you of anything keeping your bodies apart. Joel unbuttoned your pants pulling them off you, kicking them aside as he grabbed your face and kissed you more. The sound of your moan exciting him, he picked you up and sat you on the counter

“Joel-“ you panted, you could hear the buckle in his pants coming apart, he dropped them low enough where he can pull out his hard and throbbing cock. Pulling you by your legs to the edge closer to him, you felt his fingers pull aside your underwear already beginning to soak from your arousal. His lips finding yours as he aligned himself at your entrance and thrusted fully into you. Joel had wanted this for so long, something he had to convince himself he would never have, or so he thought. You could feel his hunger for you, you moaned grabbing onto his broad shoulders as he kissed your neck. Each plunge into you bringing you closer to a high you hadn’t felt in so long. Joel grabbed your face, leaning his forehead on yours moving his hips faster against you. Sweat building up on him, he panted hearing your moans, his hand sliding down your face and closing around your neck.

“You ain’t for nobody else here, you hear me?” He whispered, his accent thick as he spoke giving your throat a squeeze. He moved faster making you whimper quickly nodding your head. The two of you so lost in the heat of the passion you felt, neither of you heard the front door open.

“What the fuck-“ Ellie’s voice making you jump.

“Ellie-“ Joel quickly turned zipping his pants up as you rushed onto your feet grabbing your pants from the floor.

Distraught and in shock with what she just walked into, she quickly turned away stomping out the door, slamming it shut loudly.

“Ellie wait” Joel called out to her heading for the door but stopped himself knowing it wouldn’t do any good. He looked back at you to see you mortified, your hands slightly shaking as you buttoned your jeans together. He could tell you were holding back tears, you couldn’t even look at him.

“I’m sorry” Joel rushed towards you trying to somehow comfort you, somehow fix this mess.

“I should go” you walked around him quickly heading for the door and left. Joel stood still, his hand brushing over his lips before he slammed a fist down onto the counter.

Walking outside you could see Ellie from a distance across the street by herself, you decided to approach her.

“Ellie-“

“I don’t wanna hear it” she kept walking.

“Ellie I’m sorry-“

“Of all fucking people here, Joel?” She finally turned to you.

“You couldn’t fuck Jesse or something, isn’t he always all over you?”

“Jesse is just a friend, he talks to me about Dina, that’s all” you noticed her face change at the mention of her but didn’t understand why.

“Well so what?! It doesn’t mean you had to go and- I thought you were my friend”

“I am your friend!” You insisted.

“You sure got a funny way of showing it, just fuck off” she walked away from you. You stood silently, you didn’t expect to her understand, hell you yourself didn’t understand exactly what feelings you had for Joel.

That evening you hesitated to go to the mess hall, but you did. When you first walked in Joel wasn’t there, neither was Ellie, you weren’t sure exactly where to sit till Jesse approached you excitedly.

“Hey what’s going on? What’s with the face?” He asked as you walked with him and sat down at a table.

“Nothing, what’s going on with you and-“ Dina appeared cutting you off in time.

Slowly the table filled up with a few others, Maria and Tommy sitting at the end of the table when you saw Joel walk in. Your heart began to race, his hands in his pockets you could tell he seemed slightly uncomfortable.

Joel sat beside Tommy and Maria at the edge, everyone in their own conversations you couldn’t hear what they were speaking of, but you knew Joel knew you were there. The two of you unexpectedly locking eyes across the table before you quickly looked away and that’s when you noticed Ellie walking in.

“I’m surprised you two love birds aren’t sitting next to each other” she laughed motioning towards you and Joel.

“What?” You whispered confused.

“Yeah what?” Jesse asked with a laugh.

“Oh, you guys didn’t hear?” Joel looked up at Ellie as she looked directly at him and he knew what she was about to do. He could hear the sarcasm in her tone.

“She’s fucking Joel” you could feel the heat of embarrassment wash over your face. All eyes on you as Joel stood up.

“Ellie-“

“What? You didn’t tell them what I walked into earlier? How you had her on the damn counter” Joel’s jaw clenched as he felt eyes dart back and forth between you and him.

“Stop it” your voice making Ellie look over at you with tears in your eyes.

“Not my fault you wanted to act like a slut”

“Ellie enough!” Joel yelled before you quickly stood up and ran out of the nearest door. Ellie had a slick smirk on her face casually sitting down with Jesse and Dina before she began to eat as everyone stared at her in shock.

Joel was pissed, he knew Ellie was upset, he understood that but he wasn’t ok with her disrespecting you telling everyone your business. Tommy stared up at Joel with his brows raised but didn’t say a word. Joel eventually walked away, following you in the direction you left in.

Joel walked out looking around into the empty street. Confused by where you had gone, there was no one in sight. He turned to the direction of his house when he heard something, he looked toward the dark alley a few feet away and heard another sound. It was you, the sound of your cries making him rush towards you. He called out your name, you quickly wiped your tears away and looked up to see him with concern.

“I’m fine-“

“I’m gonna have a talk with Ellie when she gets home” you shook your head silently.

“There’s no point” you whispered.

“She had no right to do that to you”

“I need to go home” you quickly walked around him rushing to create a distance between you and him. You felt the urge of wanting to put your arms around him in that moment and you couldn’t allow it, not after what had just happened.

Joel followed you calling out for you, his voice only making you rush faster to your home that was thankfully close by until you finally reached your door.

“God dammit, you don’t hear me callin’ you?” He rushed up your front porch just as you unlocked your door but you wouldn’t look at him. Catching the door with one hand and your arm with the other he forced you to turn around to him and that’s when he noticed the desperation in your eyes. A fight with temptation that you were clearly losing.

“What do you want me to do? Tell me?” He moved closer to you, his hands on your arms, you quickly shook your head.

“You need to go” but he knew you didn’t want him to.

“Tell me” he whispered again caressing your face as he leaned closer till you felt the warmth of his breath.

And he kissed you.

You instantly melted in his arms, he guided you into your home, you could hear the door slam behind him before you quickly pulled your face away.

“Ain’t nobody coming in here” he whispered staring down at your plush lips before you eagerly wrapped your arms around him and pulled him back in. You kissed him desperately, your arms holding him close as he shook off his jacket letting it fall to the floor. While guiding you towards the couch a few feet away he removed whatever he could off you as fast as he could until he felt your bare skin with his hands. He stopped for a moment, gently pulled away and looked down at your naked body, he could feel himself practically bursting in his pants. Joel roughly wrapped one arm around your waist and pulled you against him as he unbuckled his belt clip with one hand. His lips finding yours, you could hear him fumbling with his pants till the heavy buckle hit the floor.

“C’mere” he whispered against your cheek before he went around you and sat on the couch pulling you right on to him. You could feel his erect cock against your pelvis, your hands on his shoulders you kissed him. You pushed yourself up and slowly guided him to your entrance. Joel locked eyes with you as you slowly took him in fully, the heat he felt from you wrapping around him making his eyes darken with hunger. Your eyes rolling back as you began to ride him slowly, his hands on your waist, Joel’s body tensed up. The ache he felt from the moment you were both interrupted earlier, he needed you again. He needed to feel himself inside you and he wasn’t going to let anyone get in the way.

You kissed him as you began to move fast, Joel moaned deeply against your lips, his grip on your waist tightening.

“You’re ridin’ me so good, baby” he looked down to see his cock glistening with your arousal, you moaned as quickened your pace. You could feel his hands guiding you up and down making you slam harder onto him.

“Joel..” you panted-

“Cum on me, baby, go ahead” he felt your hips twitch on him, he slouched down on the couch and began thrusting his hips upwards making you moan louder.

“Oh fuck-“ you screamed throwing your head back as Joel pumped faster into you, the sight of your breasts bouncing in his face as he felt you tighten up around him and you felt an intense vibration throughout your entire body. You screamed out in pleasure squeezing your own breasts before you looked down slowly coming back from your high and found Joel looking at you practically hypnotized. Watching you have an orgasm was something that completely sent him over the edge.

Joel panted loudly thrusting faster until he picked you up with one arm pulling you aside and his cum spilled out of him. You looked down out of breath watching as he jerked himself off moaning deeply. Joel threw his head back with you on your knees beside him, laying your head on his shoulder.

“Jesus Christ” he whispered, his curls by his head damp from sweat. You both lay still for a moment, his arm still around your waist holding you close, you felt him look over at you. You lifted your head up and he could see the worry slowly grow in your eye but before he said a word you quickly stood up and left to the restroom.

You wouldn’t describe the feeling as regret but it certainly wasn’t a good feeling. Being Ellie’s close friend, you felt you were betraying her in a way and you never wanted to hurt her.

After cleaning yourself up you eventually came back out in a robe to see Joel sitting on a chair at the table dressed. He sat patiently almost worried that you wouldn’t come out while he was still there. He knew how you felt.

“Now what?” You whispered crossing your arms leaning back against the counter. Joel stood up and made his way towards you, his hands falling on his hips. He looked around trying to think of what to say, or how to say it.

“Ellie is very important to me” he began, he looked down at the counter beside you.

“But I don’t want this to be a one time thing” his eyes slowly found yours, hesitant for a reaction. You stood silent, he slowly walked towards you and took your hand in his, pulling you against him.

“You hear me?” He whispered searching your eyes for an answer. You wanted him just as much as he wanted you and he knew it. Quietly you nodded and wrapped your arms around him, Joel gently pressed his lips against your forehead and held you close. Neither of you knowing exactly how to go about this but one thing was for sure, you could no longer hold back..

[joelslastofus]

Patiently waiting on the fic requested 🙏🏻 no rush tho I appreciate you even writing it ❤️❤️

I’m about to post it! Sorry for the wait, thanks for being so patient 💜

[joelslastofus]

A Texan Heart

Chapter 2 [Chapter 1 linked at the bottom]

Summary: Joel learns new things about your relationship with your father.

Angst, violence, age gap, mention of pregnancy

It had been a few days since you last spoke to Joel, you had seen him around here and there but didn’t have much of a conversation with him. Of course, it didn’t stop him from watching you from afar, moments of your drunken innocent night in his living room flashed in his mind, the feel of your touch, the look in your eye when you were face to face with him, the feel of your breath against him while you sat on his lap.. You didn’t remember that night, or so he thought, for some reason the random thought of sitting on Joel’s lap crossed your mind. You couldn’t tell if it was a dream or if that did actually happen, either way, at the moment you had more serious things to worry about.

That evening Joel stood in his room, protective goggles over his eyes as he worked on carving something for Ellie’s birthday when he heard your voice from outside.

“So what the hell am I suppose to do?!” He looked up out the window to see you in what looked like a tense argument with Henry.

“It’s not my fucking problem, I don’t need this bullshit” He watched as Henry walked away from you without turning back.

“Henry please!” You screamed in tears as he continued to ignore you. Immediately Joel carefully placed his wooden sculpture down on the table and pulled his goggles back over his hair. Never had Joel seen you this distraught.

Rushing out the front door to catch you he suddenly didn’t see you anywhere in sight. Taking a deep breath he walked back up the stairs of his porch before suddenly hearing the sound of you crying. Joel looked up to see you hiding in a small spot between your house and his garage where Ellie stayed.

Crouched down on the floor hugging your knees thinking you were safe where no one could see, you were surprised by the sound of Joel’s voice.

“You alright?”

You quickly stood up wiping away tears.

“Joel-“ you whispered.

“I thought you were on patrol with Ellie, I didn’t think anyone was here” he took a step closer as you looked at him and noticed the goggles pushing back his curls.

“What’s that?” You motioned towards them, anything to take the attention off how he just found you.

“Oh uh-“ he quickly took it off.

“Was makin’ somethin’ for Ellie, uh- her birthdays coming up and-“

“What are you making?”

Joel knew what you were doing, he wasn’t a stranger to this tactic himself, asking questions to distract others. He understood it and played along.

“How about I show you” Joel led the way into his house, his bedroom door open, the sun setting as it shined through the window. A table filled with wooden sculptures , one specific one catching your eye.

“Oh, this is beautiful, Joel”

“For Ellie” he looked down over your shoulder at the wooden figure in your hand before taking a look at you, you could feel his eyes on you and took a deep breath placing the sculpture down.

“So are you gonna tell me what’s wrong or am I gonna have to go up to himself myself”

“No” you panicked turning to him. That’s when he realized you didn’t look angry, you looked worried, afraid, a lump in your throat you could feel the sting from how much you held your tears back.

“What is it, sweetheart?” His eyes soft, warm, heavy with concern.

“As if seeing him kiss another girl wasn’t enough-“ your eyes met his.

“I..I can’t even say it..” you whispered.

“Did he do somethin’ to ya?” He stepped toward you with an alert look.

“No” you shook your head as you rubbed your eyes. He stood silent giving you a moment to catch your breath, a moment to be able to say whatever it was.

“I…I might be pregnant” his eyes darkened. For some reason it felt like a punch to his gut.

“I mean, I haven’t taken a test yet but I’m late. I’m never late” his brows knit together, all he could think of was how he heard Henry yell at you.

“And you told him this?” His voice thick.

“Is that why that boy was talkin’ to you like that?” You could hear the anger growing in his voice. But he wasn’t angry at you, the thought of you being in such a vulnerable state and being spoken to that way did something to him. You simply nodded and looked down in shame, Joel placed his hands on his hips taking a deep breath.

“That son of a bitch” he whispered making you look up.

“It’s not just his fault, I was stupid enough to give in. I wanted to use a condom but he bitched and moaned about it not feeling the same, I just-“ the more you told him, the angrier Joel became until you began to cry again.

“So stupid” the sight of you in tears easy enough to soften him up.

“C’mere” he wrapped his arms around you, resting his chin on your head.

“You ain’t stupid” he whispered. You rested your head against his chest, your hands wrapping around him, his embrace bringing you comfort you needed.

“I was gonna get a test from the clinic earlier, just too afraid to do it” Joel was silent for a moment, his hand resting on your back.

“Want me to be there for that?”

You looked up at him wide eyed.

“I uh…I’d rather be alone. I’ll do it first thing in the morning while my dad’s out on patrol with you, the last thing I need is for him to find out anything.“ you looked to the side lost in the thought before meeting his gaze again, your arms still wrapped around him.

“Don’t-“

“I ain’t sayin’ a word” he assured you looking down at you.

“I meant with Henry-“ his jaw tensed at the simple mention of his name.

“Promise you won’t do anything to Henry”

“Promise” he whispered before you rest your head on his chest again. Joel may have been a close friend of your father’s but somehow he felt more like a friend to you.

~~

The next morning you did as you planned, cutting any conversation with others short as you sped back to your house with the test in hand. After awkwardly peeing on the stick you placed it on the sink beside you afraid to make any eye contact with it.

Pacing back and forth in the small bathroom you knew the test would be ready by now but you couldn’t bring yourself to look. What if it was positive? Yeah sure you’d seen other women have children in Jackson but you never wanted that to be you. Once again insulting yourself for falling for Henry’s charm you took a deep breath and faced the stick sitting face up on the sink. When you finally did look down you almost cried in relief to see only one line.

You weren’t pregnant.

“Oh thank God” you breathed in relief, your hand over your heart racing in your chest.

You couldn’t wait to tell Joel once he returned, a rush of energy you suddenly felt, you decided to go help Tommy at the stables.

“You alright?” Tommy raised his brows looking up at you.

“Yeah why?” You smiled as you brushed your hand over one of the horses.

“Seemed a little off these past few days, I know you were seein’ that kid” you immediately frowned.

“Not that it’s any of my business but you’re better off” Tommy meant what he said, especially after always seeing the kid with a different girl. You dodged a bullet.

“Screw him” you shrugged looking around.

“Probably out and about already with the next one like nothing,”

“Nah, have him out on patrol today” your eyes widened looking back at Tommy.

“Henry is out on patrol?” You asked even though it wasn’t necessarily a question.

“Alex wasn’t feeling too well so I needed Henry to cover” Tommy stared at you strangely noticing how fidgety you became.

Joel was with Henry out on patrol after what you had just shared with him. God you hoped Joel didn’t do anything stupid, you knew how he could get when it came to those he cared for.

“Everything alright?” Tommy’s voice interrupting your thoughts.

“Huh-yeah, sure” you awkwardly grabbed a brush and bucket and went towards one of the horses as your mind went over all the ways this could turn out, not to mention your dad was present with them.

~~

Joel rode his horse in front beside your father as he shared stories Joel had already heard many times before. When your dad was sober, he never seemed to remember all the stories he already rambled about while drunk. Joel wasn’t paying any attention, all he could hear was Henry a few feet back talking with Matt. The two snickering talking about God knows what, whatever it was Joel didn’t like it. The thought of you being back in Jackson panicking taking a pregnancy test and this asshole just laughing with no care in the world pissed him off. God he hoped you weren’t pregnant, not by him.

A few hours into patrol the men came across a stream and decided to take a break to give the horses some water. It was quiet, it had been for some time now, Joel didn’t expect anything especially in that area. Leaning back against a tree he crossed his arms staring at the two young men with the corner of his eye.

Your father excusing himself as he usually did for a bathroom break while Joel stood still, simply listening to their conversation, both men had their back to him when he heard your name.

“What happened, you fucked her and that’s it?” Matt chuckled, Joel’s jaw tensing.

“Listen I just wanted some fun, not my fault she got attached”

Joel could feel the heat in him rising, anger tearing through him as he continued to hear Henry talk about you. He wished he never promised you a thing the day before, it took everything in him to not react.

“What was that about yesterday anyway, saw her crying” Matt asked.

“Oh that, don’t get me started-“

“Careful, kid” Joel whispered to himself listening closely.

“Well what is it?” Matt insisted.

“That bitch thinks she’s pregnant, ain’t got shit to do with me man” Henry shrugged as the two men began to laugh. Joel could feel his switch go off, in that very moment he didn’t give a shit about any promise he made you. He’d take you being mad at him if it meant he put Henry in his place.

“The hell you just say?” Joel called out from where he stood, brows creased. His hands falling loose to his sides as he began to walk their way.

“What? Oh shit-“ The two men turning to him confused not realizing that he could hear what they were saying. Not giving Henry a chance to say another word he yanked him by his collar with both hands and shoved him against a tree.

“Woah Joel, what the hell man!”

“Joel everything alright?” Your father returned as Joel stood still, nostrils flaring.

“You wanna tell him what you were sayin’ about his daughter or should I?” He whispered.

Henry didn’t say a word.

“You better hope she ain’t pregnant, cause I ain’t gonna be too nice next time I see you.” Joel let go taking a step back as Henry and Matt stared at him shocked.

“I hear another word I’m breakin’ your jaw”

“What happened, we alright?” Your father placing an arm around Joel trying to lighten the mood.

“Just fine, ain’t we?” He gave Henry a threatening glare who then just nodded in silence.

“We should be heading back, it’s all clear out here” your father continued.

“Come on-“ he patted Joel’s back noticing he didn’t take his eyes off Henry.

“Let’s get goin’”

“Yeah” Joel took a step back before eventually heading towards his horse.

The ride back to Jackson was silent. Joel rode behind keeping an eye on the two while your father silently wondered what had Joel so pissed. Joel wondered how were doing back in Jackson, his stomach turning at the thought of the test coming out positive, the simple thought of you panicking and him not there to somehow be there for you through it.

Laying in bed reading a book you soon heard the door open from downstairs, your father must’ve been back from patrol.

More importantly, Joel was back.

“Hey, how’d everything go?” You skipped down the stairs to find your dad unpacking in the living room.

“Quiet like we expected, besides Joel, don’t know what the hell got into him.”

You stepped forward raising a brow.

“What do you mean?”

“Go to take bathroom break and come back to Joel shovin’ Henry against a tree” your dad chuckled.

“What?” Your stomach turned wondering if Joel said anything, wondering if your father knew just what drove Joel to do that. He couldn’t have, you knew damn well he wouldn’t be acting this way.

“Poor kid didn’t know what to do, shoulda seen his face”

“Did he say why he did that?” You swallowed anxiously.

“No,” your father shrugged, his eyes busy on organizing his backpack.

“He didn’t say much, but I know Joel when he’s pissed. He would’ve done damage, Henry turned into a damn mouse, wasn’t laughing much on our way back. Well, I’m gonna shower, probably have a drink. I’m beat” he walked past you straight to the bathroom. You waited until you heard the door close before walking out the front door and making your way to Joel’s.

With your arms crossed you waited for Joel to open the door, he already knew it was you before seeing you. He figured your father must’ve told you what happened. He was serious when he opened the door, silent leading the way in as you closed the door behind you. He stopped at the counter looking down at the nearly empty cup of whiskey he had, his jaw clenched aching to know if you were pregnant or not.

“It’s negative” you spoke softly, he quickly looked up, a look of relief in his deep eyes. He nodded taking a deep breath before throwing his head back taking the last of his drink and slamming the cup down.

“What the hell was that with Henry, Joel?”

His brows knit he looked up at you rather serious.

“Didn’t hurt him”

“Just scared the shit outta him”

“Good” he turned his back to you placing his cup in the sink.

“Joel, you can’t do things like that-“

“But he can?” He quickly turned back to you.

“You were scared and he knew it, he knew damn well what he was doin’ to ya” you stood silent for a moment realizing how much this mattered to Joel. Realizing this was him being the protective man he knew how to be.

“Well, it’s negative-“

“Good, cause no promise woulda held me back if ya were” you sighed pushing your hands into your pockets. You were simply relieved to be able to put this behind you.

“Look, I appreciate you looking out for me but let’s leave this in the past. Please? ” Joel gave you a simple nod.

“I better go, it’s getting late” before Joel could say another word you quickly walked out.

You didn’t go straight home that night, walking around the town curious if Henry would be where he always was. Of course, that night he wasn’t. Joel must’ve really shaken him up, the thought almost making you chuckle. You knew Henry deserved it.

Close to midnight you got back inside to the sound of 70s rock playing in the background and your dad humming to the music, clearly drunk. But the second he heard the door close he turned off the music.

“Remembered where you live?” Your father asked sarcastically as he lay back in the recliner.

“Was just out getting some air”

“Sure you were” he chuckled before he pushed himself off the seat, stumbling slightly to the side.

“You ok, dad?”

He didn’t respond, slowly walking towards you when he pulled something from a plastic bag on the table.

“Wanna tell me what this is?” The empty box that contained the pregnancy test he threw across the table, your heart sinking, slightly embarrassed.

“Dad-“

“You pregnant?” He casually pulled out a cigarette he must’ve gotten in a trade and lit it up.

“D-“

“Didn’t I tell you, to not mess with these boys” he walked towards you, blowing smoke in your face.

“You messing around with boys like a little slut?”

“Dad, n-“ your father unexpectedly smacked you with such force he knocked you to the ground. The sting making your eyes water, you could taste the blood in your inner lip. He rushed towards you grabbing a hand full of hair making you cry out as he continued to yell in your face. Your hands attempting to cover yourself from whatever else he might do.

“You stupid, good for nothing-“ he took his cigarette and pressed it against the very hand blocking him making you scream louder before he shoved you away.

“This is what you do? Fool around with boys? Is this what we came to Jackson for?! We should leave away from anyone else, that’s what should happen!” He roared before storming off down the hall, he walked into his room and slammed the door shut.

In shock you lay on the floor, fetus position unsure of what to do next or what would happen next. Once you were sure that your father wasn’t going to come back out you slowly pushed yourself to your feet practically stumbling out the front door into the dark night. No one was around, of course not, middle of night it was now pouring rain. The only person you thought of was Joel.

Walking to his house holding your wounded hand close to you, you past the garage where Ellie stayed. Her lights out thankfully, you hesitated walking up his front porch. How stupid you felt coming to him at this time of the night. Taking a deep breath you knocked on the door hoping he would hear it. Of course, it didn’t take much. Joel half asleep opened the door, slight confusion on his face till he turned on his porch light and noticed the handprint your father had left on your face.

“The hell happened?” He pulled you in towards the table, sitting you down before him. The sight of you hurt and in tears enough to wake him up. His hand taking hold of your face getting a better look at the light bruising that was forming on your flesh.

“I’ll kill him this time-“

“It wasn’t Henry” you sobbed, Joel stood up straight taking a step back.

“Who did this?” His brows pulled together, you shook your head looking down unable to speak. Joel could feel his heart practically beating out of his chest, he leaned over you, one hand on the table the other hand on the back of your chair.

“Look at me” he spoke gentle yet stern.

“Tell me who did this, I need you to tell me”

“Joel-“

“He ain’t gonna touch you again if that’s what you’re afraid of, whoever this is, I promise you that” you shook your head again looking away.

“Where’s your dad?” He asked when you slowly looked up at him, simply with your eyes telling him something he couldn’t believe. Joel was silent for a moment, a hard swallow as he balled his hand into a tight fist on the table.

“He did this to you?” Joel’s face so close to yours you saw a change in his eyes you had never seen before. It was as if a switch went off, a dark switch that washed over him. Before you said another word Joel turned quickly grabbing his jacket heading for the door.

“No! No!” You ran quickly blocking his way.

“Y-you can’t do anything, please. He’s still my dad and he-“

“He hurt you” Joel’s lip quivered as he spoke from the heat of the rage building up in him.

“Please, Joel. I just need somewhere to stay for the night, please don’t do anything, please” you begged with tears streaming down your face. Joel stood still for a moment, not moving a muscle. His gaze moving to the red swelling spot on your hand. He grabbed your hand without saying a word taking a close look at it and his jaw tensed.

“He burned you-“

“He hasn’t done this in years-“ you pulled your hand back as Joel’s eyes flickered up to yours. The hell did you mean he hadn’t done this in years? He had hurt you before, he’d hurt you in a way he couldn’t ever imagine having hurt Sarah.

“It’s my fault I- he saw the pregnancy test and freaked out thinking I was pregnant-“

“And what if you were? He woulda hurt cha like this, pregnant?” It was getting hard to control your cries your hands covering your face making Joel’s gaze soften.

“Come here, sweetheart” he pulled you into his chest dropping his coat to the floor. He didn’t give a shit if you were soaked in that moment, your clothes wetting his shirt, all he wanted to do was hold you.

“Come on, let’s get cha in bed” he rubbed your back as you took a deep breath.

“I’ll stay on the couch” you assured him lifting your head from his chest.

“Like hell you will, ain’t no way I’ll have you spend the night on my damn couch. You take my bed, s’alright. Come on, I’ll get cha a change of clothes”

Joel led you up the stairs with his arm around you. Once entering his room you saw his bed still imprinted from when he had just been lying in. His covers rolled to the side from when he first heard you knock, practically jumping out the bed.

You stood in front of it as he went to get you a pair of sweats and gray shirt of his and placed it neatly beside you just as you began to pull the wet sleeves of your hoodie off your arm. He helped pull it over you when your shirt went up and he got a glimpse of your waist, marks that seemed to be of more past burns, you hadn’t noticed him looking at it.

“He hurt cha anywhere else?” He whispered, you noticed where he was looking and quickly pulled your shirt down.

“No” you responded softly before looking at the ground. The thought that one of his closest friends could be doing this to their own daughter, he couldn’t believe. The thought that this was happening to you, he couldn’t live with it. Joel took a step back taking your sweater and handed you a towel, trying his best to keep his thoughts to himself. He knew you loved your father, it was the only reason he stopped himself and still, he could barely hold himself back.

“Uh, I’ll let cha change. You need anything you know where to find me” he began to walk towards the door when your voice stopped him.

“What if Ellie sees me here…tomorrow”

“She knows you’re just as much a friend of mine as your dad-“ he cleared his throat “-as your dad is, it’s fine” he assured you.

You silently nodded as he walked out the door, slowly closing it shut behind him and when he did, more tears fell.

Joel stood still for a moment outside your door, something in him wanting to just take off to your house, break a damn ash tray on your father’s head. But he made you a promise, a promise he wished he hadn’t.

The bed smelled like Joel, the scent of him from his clothes melting into your skin, it somehow relaxed you. It almost felt like you were in his embrace, Joel seemed to be the only man lately that you found yourself trusting with your feelings. He actually seemed to care.

That night Joel didn’t sleep much, his hand on his chest as he lay on the couch staring at the ceiling. He wondered how long he’d missed the signs, you had been in Jackson for a year now and never did he notice anything like this. He had questions, he had anger and he knew tomorrow he would see your father.

[joelslastofus]

idk if you’re currently taking joel miller requests but id love one S2 based where reader is Ellie’s close friend but older than her (in her 20s)

So reader and joel keep their feelings hidden from eachother knowing the other is off limits but then one night Joel gets jealous about reader getting closer with Jesse (even tho it’s purely platonic) and when she demands why he even cares he’s forced to admit his feelings and then something snaps ~ leading into smut smu smut

But then Ellie comes into the house to get something and catches them in the middle of the act

Hi! Love this idea, love some jealous Joel!! I can definitely write this for you after I post my next story. 💜

[joelslastofus]

[SUMMARY: On patrol you accidentally get hurt and try to hide it from Joel.]

If Anything Should Happen

Angst semi fluff

Joel was supposed to go on patrol with you that morning but after promising Ellie that he’d show her a few songs on the guitar you told him you’d go with Tommy and Jesse. If there was anyone Joel trusted to go on patrol with you, it was his brother. Plus with Ellie finally opening up to Joel, you didn’t want anything to get in the way of that.

“You take care of my girl, Tommy” he patted your horse as you moved up by the gates.

Tommy looked down at his older brother and gave him a nod of reassurance before the three of you went on your way.

“She’ll be fine, you know how Tommy is” Maria tried to assure Joel who didn’t take his eyes off you as you rode away.

~~

“I wish he’d be more relaxed whenever I have to go on patrol, I could tell how much he hates it” you spoke with Tommy as you both went down a trail, Jesse close behind.

“Hey but that’s, Joel. He’s gonna protect what’s his, hell, I hate it when Maria has to do anything that can risk her safety.”

“Yeah, I know. I get it” you sighed looking off into the distance when Jesses voice distracted you and Tommy.

“What the hell is that?” You turned behind to see him staring at something in the woods you couldn’t make out. Jesse jumped off his horse walking towards what he saw, you and Tommy quickly followed.

“Where the hell are you goin’?!” Tommy called out to him just as you heard movement beside you. You both froze reaching for your guns, Jesse nowhere in sight.

“Stay right here” Tommy whispered as he slowly moved ahead, you stood still, gun in hand watching your surroundings. Tommy quietly moving ahead when you heard another quick movement coming from your left and quickly turned only to hear a gunshot go off.

It all happened so quickly, the sudden intense burning sensation on your waist, the sound of Tommy’s voice muffled in the background.

“The hell did you do?!”

“Oh shit, oh shit-“ Jesse panicked, everything felt like a blur, you hadn’t even noticed you fell on the ground.

“What..the..hell?” You whispered looking down at your bloody shirt, Tommy’s voice suddenly louder and clearer.

“Don’t move” he quickly knelt down beside you, slowly lifting up your shirt.

“Thank God” Tommy whispered as you slowly felt yourself coming back to reality.

“W-what?”

“Didn’t go through, grazed ya pretty good but you’ll be fine, let me just stop the bleedin’ till we get back”

“Shit, I’m so sorry” Jesse rushed towards you.

“Joel’s gonna kill you” was all Tommy could say as he wrapped up your waist with a spare shirt.

“No” you whispered slowly propping yourself up on your elbows

“Move slow” Tommy ordered giving you his hand as you winced getting on your feet.

“No one’s telling Joel anything” you looked up at Tommy who had a look of disbelief.

“You know how he gets about you. He finds out you were hurt and I didn’t tell him-“

“So what, blame me. He doesn’t need to know, I don’t need him worrying anymore than he already does”

“And how the hell are ya gonna hide that?” He looked down at your wounded area.

“I’ll figure it out, just promise me you won’t say anything” You could see the hesitation in his eyes. If anyone knew how Joel would react it would be his brother.

“Please, Tommy”

After a tense moment of silence he gave in.

“I’ll distract him when we get back, so you have time to change. I’ll stop by and get some pain medication and send someone to clean it up for ya” you breathed in relief.

“Thank you, Tommy” you whispered.

“Yeah, thanks” Jesse intervened making Tommy narrow his eyes on him.

“Get back on the damn horse and put your gun away,” he ordered, Jesse anxiously got back to where he was.

With the pain you felt, how you were able to get back on that damn horse even with Tommy helps, you’ll never know. The whole ride home he kept looking over at you, riding slower than he usually did to make sure you were ok, he really was like a big brother to you.

Once you returned, Tommy did just as he said he would. He found Joel in the house sitting at the table with Ellie, a smile on his face watching her play the guitar till he noticed his brother walking in.

“Everything go ok?” He took off his glasses, an anxious look in his eyes.

“Yeah, everything’s good” Tommy felt guilty lying through his teeth.

“Where is she?” He slightly leaned over hoping to see you walking in behind Tommy.

“Said she wanted to go check on what ingredients we have to make something for the event,” Joel furrowed his brows as he walked around the table.

“Hm-“ he scratched his chin with the tip of his index finger.

“Coulda sworn she checked on it this mornin’”

“Hey, guys” you walked in casually, your hands crossed before you as Joel walked towards you with a smile.

“Hi darlin’” he greeted you with a kiss to your forehead.

“So, Joel taught me the coolest song ever” Ellie interrupted with excitement.

“Are ya gonna play it at the dance?”

“No way! I just started learning it, gotta perfect it first” she stood up excitedly taking her guitar to the room as Joel turned back to you.

“Had fun today?” You asked with a smile seeing the happiness in his eyes.

“Yeah, it was a good day, how about you?” He put an arm around you.

“The boys take good care of you? Or do I need to have a talk with someone?” He teased not noticing the uncomfortable look in Tommy’s eyes. Tommy knew it wasn’t no damn tease and he knew it wouldn’t have been no damn talk either.

“They were great” you smiled up at him when his smile slowly faded.

“What’s wrong?”

“What?” You whispered confused.

His hand slowly coming up to your face, taking a hold of it as he moved it from one side to the other.

“Why do ya look pale?”

“I don’t look pale” you shook your head taking your face out of his grasp.

“Tommy she don’t look pale to ya?”

He silently shook his head tightening his lips.

“Come on, let’s go relax for a bit, I’m tired ” you sighed attempting to change the subject. Joel agreed walking beside you out the door till you pretended to forget something in the room.

Quickly creeping in you found Tommy lost in thought rubbing his forehead till he heard your footsteps. Somewhat relieved to see you alone he rushed towards you.

“Did you take the medicine I left ya?” He whispered.

“Yes, thank you. I’m fine, Tommy”

“You do look pale, you sure you feel alright?”

“Yes” you sighed.

“If something else looks wrong even the slightest bit, I ain’t stayin quiet. I’m just lettin’ ya know” he rushed off past you and left the house.

~~

The next day you woke up feeling a little more sore than the day before. The area on your side feeling tender surrounding the actual wound itself, you wondered if that was normal. Looking at yourself in the mirror you lifted your shirt before hearing the door open behind you, quickly you pulled it back down.

“How’d ya sleep, honey?” Joel came up behind you, his hand sliding over your waist, thankfully opposite of where the wound was.

“I slept ok, I know we have a long night with the dance.”

“If ya don’t wanna go we don’t have to, you just say the word” he looked at you through the mirror.

“It’s fine, I already promised Maria. It’s ok, we’ll have a good time” you smiled but Joel knew you, your smile didn’t meet your gaze.

“Is something botherin’ you?” You turned to him and caressed his face, his eyes darting between your eyes and lips that he could never resist.

“I’m fine, let’s get ready for the day” you assured him with a gentle kiss and went on your way.

~~

That night getting ready for the event you found yourself feeling a little weak but pushed through it. Joel noticed you were more quiet than usual and kept an eye on you as he always did. You had cleaned the wound up the best you could before leaving but still something felt off.

The moment you arrived to the gathering, you noticed Tommy look directly at you from across the room and when he did, you knew that was it. The simple walk from the house to the party throwing you off, you felt queasy and it showed. Joel holding your hand leading you further into the event, you gently tugged at his arm.

“Joel”

Tommy got closer.

“What is it, baby?” He turned to you, instantly noticing something didn’t look right.

“You alright, what’s the matter?” His hand quickly releasing yours to caress the side of your face and that’s when he grew more concerned.

“Jesus, baby ya burnin’ up-“

“Joel, we gotta talk” Tommy cut in.

“Tommy don’t” you whispered, you knew how Joel would react, especially towards Jesse.

“I shoulda said something the moment we came back but…there was an accident”

“The hell are ya talkin’ about, Tommy?” He turned towards him.

“Joel-“ your voice barely heard, the music continued to play as no one noticed the tense conversation between the two.

“It was an accident-“ Tommy repeated trying to remind his brother before telling him what played out.

“What the hell happened, Tommy?” He grew more desperate by the minute with what his brother needed to share.

“We thought there was some infected or raiders, we heard somethin’ but didn’t find anyone. Jesses gun went off-“

“Tommy, I’m fine dammit!”

“The bullet didn’t go through her but it grazed her pretty bad-“ Joel quickly turned to you, an alarmed look in his brown eyes.

“You were shot at” he whispered as you quickly shook your head.

“Under her shirt, left side” Tommy continued bluntly.

“No-“ you attempted to stop him but Joel moved towards you and quickly lifted up your shirt to see gauze wrapped around your waist beginning to fill with blood. The color draining from his face, worry mixed with anger. How the hell did someone accidentally shoot at you?

How the hell didn’t he notice?

“We need to get cha inside, right now. Tommy-“ he turned to his brother.

“I should’ve told you, I know-“

“We will deal with that later. You bring me a doctor, meet me at the house.”

There was no use in even trying to go against Joel at this point. You could tell he was angry but more so you could see the concern he felt helping you walk back to the house. You could see him looking over at you repeatedly to make sure you were alright, that was his first priority.

“Joel, don’t be mad at them-“

“Don’t talk right now, save your energy till they make sure you’re alright” he replied looking ahead, his arm around your waist, his hand careful to not rest on the wound but still enough to help balance you.

As the doctor checked you, Joel anxiously stood over his shoulder with his arms crossed watching what he was doing.

“Is it infected?” Joel asked.

“Too early to tell but looks like it’s gettin’ there. I’ll give her some antibiotics”

“And I’ll be fine for patrol tomorrow?” Your question making Joel narrow his eyes on you.

“You think you’re goin’ back out there any time soon?” His brows grew knit.

“Joel-“

“He’s right, should slow down for a few days. Let this heal properly” the doctor agreed. You couldn’t look up at Joel, you knew what he was thinking, there wasn’t anything you could say.

Once the doctor finished dressing your wound properly he left you and Joel alone together. A tense moment of silence, Joel didn’t know what reaction to even begin with. Pacing back and forth, Tommy could hear his footsteps loudly outside the door.

“So this was Jesses doin’ huh?”

“He didn’t do it on purpose” you quickly responded, a quick glance at him through the corner of your eye as he stopped to face you.

“Don’t matter, he put cha in danger. Kid shouldn’t be allowed with a damn gun till he’s properly trained” his nostrils flared just as Tommy walked in.

“How she doin’?”

“And you” Joel turned to him, hands on his hips.

“What the hell, Tommy”

“I know” he looked down in defeat.

“You shoulda known better”

“I know” Tommy didn’t bother to argue, he knew he was right.

“Don’t blame Tommy, I asked him not to say anything” you cut in but he didn’t take his eyes off his brother.

“Still, he shoulda been more alert, kept ya safe. Let alone at least tell me when my woman was hurt-“

“It happened so fast, Joel, Tommy did take care of me” you sat up faster than you meant to causing a sharp pain making you gasp. Joel quickly turning to you rushing to your side.

“Easy, lay down, baby” his hand gently guiding you to lay back on the bed as you looked up at him desperately.

“I know Jesse could be an idiot at times but he didn’t do it on purpose and Tommy-“ Joel looked down at you silently listening to what you had to say word for word.

“You can’t be mad at him, you should’ve heard everything he said to Jesse the whole ride home, he ripped him a new one” Tommy couldn’t help but silently smirk in the background, if there was one person that could make Joel break, it would be you. Joel took one look at his brother then back at you, you swallowed nervously waiting for some kind of a response.

“Now as to why Tommy kept your little secret. I know how persuasive you can be” he whispered.

“But I will have a word with Jesse” you sighed.

“Nothin’ like this is to be kept from me again. Am I clear?”

“Joel-“

“Am I clear?” His eyes narrowed on you until you nodded before turning to his brother.

“Never again” Tommy whispered.

“I’m sorry, Joel” you whispered, the sight of tears building up in your eyes was enough to soften Joel’s.

“It’s alright, baby, you’re ok” he whispered, his hand caressing your face, his thumb gently wiping the tears away.

“You get your rest, don’t worry about anything else, alright?” You nodded and took a deep breath.

After both men left the room allowing you to rest Tommy could see Joel was still left uneasy. His mind lost in thought as he sat at the table crossing his arms.

“You alright?”

Joel was silent for a moment, biting his inner lip staring off into the distance.

“How the hell didn’t I notice?” He blurt out looking back at his brother.

“Joel, you can’t blame yourself for not knowing what she was hidin’” Joel shook his head stubbornly.

“No, I knew somethin’ wasn’t right. I could see it in her face. I just- she shouldn’t have gone on that patrol without me. That shouldn’t have happened.”

“Well Jesse won’t be on patrol for a while.” Tommy assured him.

“Neither will she” Joel uttered low looking back in the direction you were in. The thought of how worse it could’ve actually been haunted him. The thought of anything happening to you was one he couldn’t live with.

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