jojomozz

[jojomozz]

molly brodak by Molly Brodak

[jojomozz]

dont piss me off. next time you go on a trip im filling your house with galapagos finches. by the time you return, they've evolved to fill your niche. they're a better spouse to your partner. they're a better parent for your child. and? they're a better friend to me than you ever were.

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belated birthday cake for my love!! sweet corn cake with blueberry jam filling, and corn + honey buttercream piped lovingly by myself and my friends, topped with cosmos

[jojomozz]

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[jojomozz]

Kid today (probably like 6 years) came up to me and was like "teacher teacher what's your name" and i was like "asha :) also im not a teacher" and he was like "okay asha asha asha I need help" and i was like "okay buddy what's wrong" and he showed me this chunk of metal he'd found sitting in the sun that he was just carrying around and it was super sharp and super hot from the sun and he was like "my hand hurts :(" and i was like "ok. put that down. does it still hurt?" And he did and was like "no." and then he picked it up again and immediately went "my hand hurts :(" again and then I was like "kid. put that down and stop touching it" and he was like "ok but when I touch it my hand hurts :(" and i was like "Please Just Stop Touching That. If you dont touch it your hand won't hurt" and this went on for like another 2 minutes before i got him to realize that if he stopped touching the metal it would not hurt. Kids are so fucking weird man

[jojomozz]

sexiest thing a character can do is drag their past around like it's a dead body tied to their ankles

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fuuuck accidentally mixed up dowsing rods and sounding rods and now my pepeneus can detect freshwater springs

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[jojomozz]

im beginning to think that some of you really wouldn't download a car

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the most annoying people are people who don't understand storytelling. they be like "oooo how convenient that this thing happened to the main character in the very beginning". yeah no shit. that's why the story begins here

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maybe its because im an asylum seeker but i am of the opinion that even if immigrants and asylum seekers contributed nothing to a nation that nation should not have the right to deport them.

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Sorry we really went from free the nipple, take back the night, slut walks, and ending gender/sex segregation in sports being fucking milquetoast feminism 101 concepts to fucking girl dinner and "I just worry about fairness if we let trans girls play against cis ones" and "it was right of that woman to call the cops on a black man for existing near here in public during the day time because men are all violent monsters" and "radical feminism isn't transphobic we just need to kill all men including trans ones those oppressive traitors" and I will legit never be able to be normal about it. What the FUCK happened. I'd say I wonder what the feminists of my youth would say about this but I'm one and lemme tell ya I want to throw up. Go fucking read bell hooks or do something else useful please because all of this learned helplessness, gender essentialism, and transphobia dressed up as feminism is actively holding us back.

[jojomozz]

My postmodern child is scaring all the other children at school with nonlinear narrative and rejection of conventional notions of epistemology

[jojomozz]

I have come to admit that my own toxic trait is that i DO hold a quiet disdain for people who think that putting flatpack furniture together is hard. Why is IKEA furniture in particular regarded as some Ultimate Test for Couples - "If you build it without killing each other, he's the one, haha!" ???? Like, listen, I get it, i've got a fuck'd wrist nowadays so I DO find that hammering peg A into slot B is considerably more difficult than it used to be, but the task ITSELF? It's like building lego, y'all. Except that at the end of it, you end up with not just some sort of miniature spaceship (admittedly very cool, if not particularly useful) but a functional and stylish side table. It's the perfect enrichment. I smashed together three Billy bookcases last summer with nothing but a screwdriver, a pencil, and the love in my heart, and I had the time of my life. Do you, too, not feel a thrill in your heart at the satisfying feeling of a cam lock twisting into place? Do not the tiny little crinkly bags of screws remind you of candy wrappers to be torn open and piled gleefully upon the floor, like a child at Halloween emptying your haul onto the living room carpet? Am I the freak, or are you? I am willing to accept the former but i die on this hill regardless

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it's so fucking crazy how defensive people get when you criticize like anything to do with the beauty industry. you point out that it's predatory and sucky to sell women new insecurities and people come crawling out of the woodwork screaming "well i LIKE wearing makeup every day i LIKE shaving i LIKE freezing the muscles in my face" okay well that's so awesome for you that you don't want to examine why you do the things you do or who benefits from you doing them. you are a BEAUTIFUL tar pit congratulations

[jojomozz]

Have you REALLY lost your scissors if you aren't walking around making scissor motions with your fingers in an attempt to lure them back out?