jorjieturner

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Episode 1 "Regeneration". A professor in a big house receives a parcel from two vicar-ish looking people from "the department". Stark Reality, Starky, a teen rebel on a street corner hacks a flying advertising hoarding. A young woman called Jorjie interrupts him; she got his name by hacking "your criminal activity file" suggesting she has similar tech skills.

They meet The Professor, who is definitely not The Doctor, and he opens a portal across space and time that brings his lost wife and children to him, except Starky trips on a power cable and they are lost... Next time the link is established it instead brings K9 off of Doctor Who along with some baddies who need to be fought off. K9 inadvertently explodes, but regenerates from his Plot Device Unit thus bonding with the kids.

In this ep Jorjie wears purple tights under her denim miniskirt most of the episode and blue ones at the end. We'll be keeping an eye on this, her wardrobe seems quite narrow and almost every week it's a pair of opaques with that skirt. The purple glitter converse trainers also put in regular appearances, but who can blame her.

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Episode One extra: Jorjie's fabulous sparkly shoes. Gotta love these, I want a pair so badly.

[jorjieturner]

Episode One extra: Jorjie in Virtual Reality.

Complete with brilliant white background and scrolling ones and zeros so you know she is in a computer.

As at this point she's really at her ballet class you might have imagined the VR would have projected a tutu onto her; we should be so lucky.

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Episode 2 "Liberation", as in "this ep is about the animal liberation front."

In which Jorjie wears blue tights, a denim miniskirt and a green top. Jorjie wants to run away in time to "the dark ages - London, 2010" but events conspire to get the boys locked in a cell along with aliens who are awaiting experimentation. A woman who turns out to be Jorjie's mum comes to admire them and is followed by Jorjie, now in pink tights to show time has passed.

With K9s help and a big computer terminal they release all the animals aliens but find the big head of police type woman in their way, with a force field. She is Jorjie's mum! And she is not amused. One short exploding alien later we can all go home for tea.

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Episode 3: "The Korven". An arrival through the portal brings this week's main threat though. A green rubber mask kind of a threat.

Jorjie has been clothes shopping with her mum "strongly advising" her what to wear. Our money is on tights in pink purple and blue, and some mid-green tops for contrast.

Temperature is the theme this week. Jorjie gets outed as having a bit of a crush by K9 telling on her for blushing. "Increased surface temperature of cheeks!" it blurts. Later her mum's shopping spree provides her with handy layers for surviving in a room full of ice, while K9 explodes a tin of baked beans.

The boys' quiet fight over who gets to be with Jorjie has a predictable twist that will perhaps force them all to get on a bit better.

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Episode 4 "The Bounty Hunter". In which we learn K9 has forgotten its entire past, thus avoiding paying the BBC royalties on the words "The Doctor", and that the Doctor Professor had a favourite cafe for eating baked bean sandwiches from before The Event, whatever it was. We also get a Who reference with a scrolling TV news announcement that a "Mr Smith" has won the lottery.

A scary stranger arrives through a space-time portal, claiming he followed K9 through it to capture it and put it on trial for murder.

Meanwhile mum's lackey Inspector Drake, a badly-besuited man straight out of Slytherin, is busy with a "Speed" inspired stunt to cow the masses. K9 derails the stunt and so the gang become targets for the CCPC police.

Hunted by the CCPC and an alien, the gang hide in a sewer overnight albeit a suspiciously clean one (Jorjie makes a nod to it being unpleasant by wiping her hands on her tights once before curling up and sleeping on the floor) and K9's lost memory banks come back, proving it didn't kill people and the alien did. Hurrah.

Mum clears everything up with the CCPC and entrusts K9 and Jorjie's safety to the Doctor Professor, so everyone can now be friends. Til next week, probably. The end.

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Episode 5: Sirens of Ceres. In which Jorjie wears the pink tights again, with a green top that makes her outfit perfectly match her bedroom, but spends half the episode in school uniform.

This week we are learning about police brutality as Jorjie is aghast to see a lone protestor being stretched by two robot officers pulling her in opposite directions. The cops in a police state want a mindless obedient population - who would have thought it!

A short confrontation leads to mum saving Jorjie and being cross with her. Two weeks later and Jorjie has been sent to a strict new school with a uniform. It's hyperlogarithms, Jodie's most hated subject. More importantly, girls are being brainwashed by mind-control bracelets.

Starkey comes to see her in school the next day and his head is turned by one of the brainwashed girls, much to Jorjie's distress. How dare he look at a girl who is being nice to him, he should have higher standards! When she starts simpering adoringly at Starkey, the gang know something is up.

Jorjie gets brainwashed too but then saved by K9, and goes back to school while the Professor watches the schoolgirls remotely (which does feel a little creepy). Thanks to a flying dog with a laser gun in its nose, the gang save the pupils from the brainwashing bracelets and the equal horror of fancying Starkey. And henceforth Jorjie can go back to her alternating roster of pink, purple and blue tights instead of rotten old uniform.

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Episode 6: "Fear Itself". In the very orderly future London, people are rioting on the streets. "Everywhere, panic and terror" opines the Doctor Professor. Darius gets monstered by some street yobs who later claim the credit for saving him, thus introducing a wardrobe which he has been trapped inside that contains Narnia all the fears of whomsoever looks inside.

The Prof explains the 1665/6 Plague and Fire in London. Fear is a powerful driver of human emotion, but we are rapidly reminded by Starkey that so is love, like a boy's love for his flying robot dog. And vice versa. And Jorjie's much more fierce-faced defence of the electric woof-woof.

Naturally K9 aided by Starkey and Jorjie defeats the baddy, and mum's goons inevitably turn up to be angsty Slytherin teens about it all.

The gang reunite and K9 explains that it tried having emotions when in the wardrobe in order to find the monster but it was very confusing for "our binary".

"That's what being a human is - fun and mess, welcome to our nightmare. Group hug!" exclaims Jorjie. The end.

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Episode 7 and the Doctor - er the Professor - has the past catch up with him in the form of the wife and children he lost in a vague accident some time ago. A huge storm opens up the portals across the dimensions and ghostly apparitions, er, leave a small amount of slime and warn people not to touch them just yet. Peril for our heroes, but then once the storm is over it’s all safe.

In a sign of perhaps burgeoning hormones, Jorjie tells the boys that her mum thinks boys are the most dangerous alien species she could possibly get mixed up with. Surely this show isn’t going to vanish into the mess of dating and romance?

K-9 explains that they will not live to see another storm like that, which could be a much more menacing statement than the kids seem to think...

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Episode 8: Jaws of Orthrus

A bad version of K9 runs amok and mum has to step in - at first to warn Jorjie that her friend’s dog might need to be questioned about suspicions it is a bad dog (”that’s not illegal yet mum!”) but eventually the truth will out.

Screengrabs here include Jorjie not noticing the evil clown that was surely supposed to attack her from behind a door, and flicking through her wardrobe in a pink strappy top deciding whether to layer it with a purple one or a blue one. The bisexual flag wardrobe is very strong in this show... if they could have got one more plausible costume change into the plot, you bet Jorjie would have had purple tights to complete the set.

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Episode 9, Dream Eaters.

For everyone who’s wondered whether Jorjie lives that layered look all the time, it seems she does: even when in bed asleep, she stays on top of the bedding keeping warm through layered jimjams. Like most dream episodes of anything this one is a lot of silly, giving the team a chance to wear tin-foil hats to stay  awake and Jorjie to do the femme version: tinfoil hair falls. At the end the professor explains to mum that “your daughter just saved the world” and we get the best kind of parent/child bonding moment - the sort where one of you is sound asleep.

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Episode 10: Curse of Anubis 

When mum’s planetary security team lets an invisible pyramid past their missile defences, K9 meets up with some old friends he can’t quite remember. In next to no time, they enslave the gang as an Egyptian temple re-enactment society. Eyeliner all round (and an awful fringe for Jorjie) until the spell can be broken...

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Episode 11: Oroborus.  Mostly the story of one boy and his robot dog versus the breakdown of chronological time, with a group hug for the team and a dog patted for being a good not-a-boy at the end.

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Episode 12: Alien Avatar

Aliens spoil a fishing trip and mum saves the kids using her "head of the evil police" superpower.

Loads of Jorjie to make us happy in this episode including "Climbing a fence but only the first couple of inches", "Tied up as a prisoner but protesting when someone tries to untie you", "Delighted to be rescued if it's by K9" and "Dancing in the background singing along to your not-an-iPod".

Pink tights, sparkly shoes and lots of layering.

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Episode 13: Aeolian

A mighty storm makes part of Jorjie's bedroom wall fall in and pin her to the bed, which is somehow her fault because she's not been keeping her room tidy. While Philippa does a sterling job of crying, the camera pans to her legs wriggling to reassure us that no serious harm will befall her. What sparkly shoes!

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Episode 14: The Last Oak Tree and Jorjie is in black leggings and sparkly pink Converse for a lot of running round in underground tunnels this week. This is the most "classic Doctor Who" episode of the whole series with a proper 1970s Who monster and the totally effective "duck behind an object half your size to avoid being spotted" capture-evasion trick. Jorjie gets picked up and carried away over a security guard's shoulders while protesting that "he's (Starkey) not my boyfriend!"  She's fooling no-one.

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Episode 15: Black Hunger.

The boys cause no end of trouble trying to avoid tidying the house by letting a stolen hi-tec vacuum cleaner take care of it. "By reversing the polarity" (apparently not a phrase the BBC bothered to copyright) K-9 saves the day. And Jorjie gets to wear a green top that she looks amazing in. Special faces: “You called me over so I could do the cleaning?”, “I’m hiding behind this pillar”, and “Look at my bum while I discover this cunningly-hidden vacuum cleaner.”