journeyss

[journeyss]

As the year is closing , I’m getting clearer on gods plan and I’m so thankful ! I got great news again! It’s so exciting to see everything unfold. Really make me feel like moving in the right direction, on the right path.

[journeyss]

I usually be so excited to tell good news, but I wanna keep this one to myself for now.

I’m questioning are people truly happy for me, but I know I am happy for so that’s all that matters.

I couldn’t wait to journal about it. But they finally called me today to set up an interview & of course I’m going to go despite what my manager wants.

Changing industry’s I took a major pay cut, I’m basically starting over. But now I have a 1 year and half experience but I learned so much , the same as someone with 3-5 years experience. I worked hard & it’s paying off. I just got a rise a month ago & im due for a promotion! But I don’t think I can grow for real at my location. It’s so chaotic, but working overnight lessen the chaoticness but I believe it could still be better. Sometimes I wonder will I ever be satisfied, and the answer is probably no. Because I’m always growing always elevating and if I was satisfied I would stay stagnant. Yea so the answer is no, I’m always going to strive for better, I’m going to always want more! That’s why I needed a career with endless possibilities, I can always pick up a specialty.

But the point is I think I’ll be able to actually grow professionally and have a non chaotic job at the other location. If I can handle the workload at my big location. I can definitely do amazing at a smaller location, I’m excited ! Like really excited! When I get this position imma rock out one last time & lock in.

Either way it’s a win win, I get this position or stay and get a promotion & rack up overtime. I could probably pick up shifts at the other location on my days off. Just 1 shift though.

I have to keep reminding myself everything is good and is happening on GODS TIMING, not my timing, GODS TIMING ! and it’s such a blessing! I appreciate his love , grace, and guidance on this journey

But yea I’m moving on UP!

I also think they’ll be a lot more professional at this location, I think change will be good.

I’m glad I learned to embrace change, change hasn’t always been easy but now I can appreciate it. I seen a post that says a bottle of water is $1 at the store $9 at the stadium $16 at the airport but it’s the SAME WATER ! if u change your environment! You’ll be valued and appreciate more. Like why would I stay at the grocery store being devalued when I can be at the airport being treated my worth.

My manger told me the craziest thing, they don’t pay based off how hard I work, I’m paid by how much experience I have ! & they wonder why people come to the place and do the bare minimum!

She basically told me to wait a year to be valued, but in my eyes in a year my value is going up! I’m going to worth more next year, so basically I’ll never be valued correctly where I am now. Which sucks, but I was going to take a whole new approach to work when I go back to my overnight schedule

And they showed out with my overnight schedule! I can’t wait to get overtime with my new pay. I can feel everything at the tip of my fingers, I’m so close to everything. I just have to execute !

[journeyss]

Ok I’m starting this journey to the self I want to be physically & mentally. Like in every way I’m going to upgrade .

And the important part of that is me getting my thoughts out, not problem dumping on friends or family, holding my own emotions & ups and downs

It’s important to have a good support system for bad times or crazy time but I have to be honest with myself, I do not have the luxury.

I love the few friends I do have but I have to set boundaries in friendships (which I haven’t before & it bites me in the ass) something’s is just my business only, I don’t want to over share, I use to be so open because I thought if they knew they would handle me like a flower when I need it but that wasn’t the case so yea no over sharing what I’m going through is my business

And I can go to therapy but I honestly have normal average problems, it’s nothing I can’t handle

Wanting success so bad just make me anxious and I think it’s healthy anxiety, it’s nothing wrong with wanting more and wanting better. I just cope and keep it moving

I’ve been “down” for 2…3 years just trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. 1st year down was my art journey , which I’m still on , but I’ve accepted it more like a hobby even though I would love to monetize but it’s more of a coping mechanism when I need to regroup and get my mind right. I just discovered this

2nd year was 9-5 & trying to become a entrepreneur, that lifestyle didn’t work, but I gained a skilled that I can use for the rest of my life. So I win is a win

& this year , year 3 I decided to enter a completely different industry, love the work I do. It really feeds my mind & my wanting to keep learning. Very high stress but it gets better when I find a good work life balance.

I’ve came to terms with not having time for my many hobbies but they’ll always be there for me when it’s time to cope.

I have a little body dysmorphia right now because I want to get my body done. I’ve been “small” most of my 20s & I’ve accepted the fact that I’m just not going to get any bigger or curvier so let’s just put it there. I already eat fairly healthy & im committing to 2 days a week in the gym so now I just need the body lol and my body isn’t bad , I just want morrreee.

Goal #1 skinny bbl

Since I don’t have a a real system or family. I have to always be independent and self reliant. Going to nursing school is my biggest goal but its a journey with in itself but I’m excited. I always thought I was a healer, that’s why attract the people I do lol but my career also have to be meaningful and have impact. I have to feel like I’m doing something really important. & it always have been that way it sucks to say but having a good job has always defined me. Being successful has always defined who I am. Career isn’t life but I will feel really great when my grandma say “my granddaughter is a nurse” or when my future hubby say “my wife is a nurse” I want people to be proud to be connected to me. I just figured out why , I was never proud of anything growing up, the essay they make you write all the time “who is your role model?” I never had one and always made it up, I wasn’t proud of my mom or dad, I honestly wasn’t proud of anybody around me, it was so chaotic. I want the opposite for myself.

Goal #2 apply for nursing school

I would say all my other goals come after these 2 and aren’t as big and can easily be done just have to make the time & make a effort to make the time

I can admit I lost myself a little in covid, being best dressed has always been my favorite thing to do. And I completely let that go AGAIN but I’m rebuilding my closet and I’ll be back to it

Mini goal #1 get fresh & stay cute

Now I need a new car but I’m picky and I want one of my dream cars, Camaro, like I need that , I work so hard I can get that & I want it paid off. After my bbl this is next .

Goal #3 Camaro

They say money can’t buy happiness , but if u do the self reflecting and mental work to become a better person and your last step is a successful career. Money can definitely buy happiness.

Goal # 4 stay gracious

Cheers to reinventing myself , the bigger better me