jrhazard

[jrhazard]

ALT

ALT

[jrhazard]

girl what

[jrhazard]

hi my name is berklie and i speak a mix of appalachian and southern english. those two dialects are so fun and idiomatic and full of color, so here are some good ones

im fixin' to run to the store. y'all need anything?

2. you ain't got far to go, it's just over yonder.

3. them kids got me worn plumb out.

4. ya'll quit bein' ugly.

5. he ain't got the good sense god gave a goose.

6. lord everything in that shop is cattywampus as all get out.

7. i reckon i might could get to it later.

8. that boy's about as useless as tits on a bull.

9. bless her heart, she looks like she fell outta the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

10. he was so confused he didn't know whether to shit or wind his watch.

11. she's awful uppity, walkin' around here highfalutin just cause her daddy's got her livin' in high cotton.

12. i got a hankerin' for something sweet.

13. baby you know there ain't no use fussin' over a fiddler.

14. bless her heart, she was just all tore up.

15. well butter my ass and call me a biscuit.

[jrhazard]

please god, take that man’s pain, double it, and put it on ao3

[jrhazard]

The 20 year old accidentally bonsai'd apricot tree that I finally planted in the ground has truly established himself and has chosen a branch with which he will form his main trunk. He's putting all his energy into this one branch and it's making dozens of tiny offshoot branches and it is rapidly growing taller

[jrhazard]

[jrhazard]

The opposite of “manic pixie dream girl” is “depressed goblin nightmare man,” and, judging by this site, it’s just as attractive to some.

[jrhazard]

shadow the hedgehog is cool. gunblades are cool. vampires are cool. scythes are cool. white hair is cool. we need to stop lying about what is not cool

[jrhazard]

Is flying to Europe and or Canada for a tiny vacation but mostly to possibly get a switch 2 for not the overinflated price that America will likely have thanks to the 🍊 overkill? Maybe, however if I'm going to get fucked, it might as well be by someone with a great accent

[jrhazard]

[jrhazard]

[jrhazard]

ripped all my bootstraps off im pulling myself up by the g-string these days

[jrhazard]

and with your help it can rack up 700k notes on tumblr in 2024

no tumblr this doesnt need tags im releasing it into the wild as god intended

[jrhazard]

Jeff is the head editor at Atlantica Magazine, but he hasn’t been writing much. The Tromp administration is hard to get a beat on, throwing out so much absurdity that it feels like nothing even matters anymore. He wants a story that will make a difference, and it’s not as if those just fall into your lap. But when Jeff’s phone suddenly buzzes with a new text message, that’s exactly what happens. Now Jeff is privy to a chat thread of top-secret information from Tromp’s under-qualified, highly-ignorant inner circle, and it’s looking like a real story. It’s also looking like a total hunk. Soon enough, Jeff and the physical manifestation of this egregiously handled group text containing highly sensitive government information are locked in the heat of gay, erotic passion, and he’s about to pound out a story that he never could’ve imagined. This erotic tale is 4,100 words of sizzling human on gay physically manifested leaked text action, including anal, blowjobs, rough sex, and living group chat love.

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please enjoy new tingler JOURNALIST POUNDED BY THE PHYSICAL MANIFESTATION OF AN EGREGIOUSLY MISHANDLED GROUP TEXT FROM MEMBERS OF THE TROMP ADMINISTRATION CONTAINING HIGHLY SENSITIVE GOVERNMENT INFORMATION out now here or on patreon

[jrhazard]

PARAMORE This Is Why Tour - Columbus, OH - June 10, 2023 (x)

[jrhazard]

i’m at that age (has fun going to lowe’s)

[jrhazard]