julesherondalex

[julesherondalex]

Love Me Tomorrow (Elriel) - Part I

A Love Me Tonight story

Summary: Months after confessing their love, Elain and Azriel still haven't told anyone they're together. Though the secrecy adds to the thrill, Elain finds herself longing for more.

Word Count: 3149 Song of the Fic

Read on AO3 here.

A/N: Hi friends. Being an elriel fanfic writer some years ago, my love was rekindled by SJM's update on the next acotar book. I found this nearly finished WIP in my drafts and thought it would be too bad if it just stayed there.

Part I | Part II | Part III

It was utterly interesting a fact that no one held Elain Archeron capable of mischief.

This was as much grounds for her resentment as it was quite beneficial. Especially in moments like these.

Elain kept her back to the Illyrian, busying her hands with preparing tea—herbal, with honey—for her pregnant sister, while keeping her mind focused on the thinnest strings of blackness currently working magic. Discomfort, rather, if not some eerie haunting.

She’d mastered controlling Azriel’s shadows—her shadows—swiftly into her entanglement with the shadowsinger. Much to their mutual delight, the bond had proven quite valuable for pranks like this and…other activities.

Even after all these months of sneaking and laying with him, her cheeks colored at the memory of what her dark lover was capable of doing with those shadows of his in bed. What she’d done. They had come to learn plenty. But Elain wasn’t beyond using her bond with Azriel and the control he’d yielded over his shadows to her amusement with the inner circle as well.

Merely a thought and Cassian—to her back—hissed, unnerved. The shadow of a smile sneaked to her lips even though she ignored the male.

Another thought, a mild pull on the strings, and Cassian cursed. Now Elain did turn, face wiped free of amusement, and eyed the male. “Is something wrong?”

Cassian didn’t dare take his eyes off the glass of wine that had just dared to move without his consent, much less his doing. Almost like by a ghost’s hand.

He didn’t answer, focused on the glass with his eyes narrowed in suspicion. The big male didn’t seem as alarmed as Elain would have liked but irritated, nevertheless.

She leaned against the counter and cocked her head, sensing the strings of shadows—so thin they were invisible to the eye, well, to his eyes—then commanded them to wrap around the stem and pull the glass three inches to the right, the liquid sloshing only barely. She watched Cassian’s eyes widen, now visibly troubled.

“Did you see that?” He finally looked up at Elain, just to return his gaze to the glass. “You’ve seen how it moved?”

Elain wanted to smirk so badly but refrained, lest her months’ worth of effort going into messing with the male went out the window. She made a deliberate pause, carefully putting her brows to a clueless frown, while eyeing him warily. “No, but you seem a little pale. Are you all right, Cassian?”

Cassian threw his hands up, resigned. “This house hates me. I swear it does. I don’t know why I’m surprised, considering it’s bound to Nesta.”

For some reason, he seemed to think the haunting was the House of Wind’s doing. Elain clicked her tongue, almost annoyed. Then again, she was proud of her stealth. It meant her training with the twins bore fruits.

She was able to use what people assumed her innocence against them. This might prove to be advantageous when she started accompanying the spymaster on his missions. Because that ought to happen at some point. With the looming threat of Koschei and her growing importance in the mess of it.

Putting the matter of Koschei aside—for it wasn’t time for war, not yet—the seer returned her attention to the General, granting him his misconception. Though she couldn’t help one comment.

“And here I was thinking seeing things no one else does is my job.”

He snorted, finally looking up and winking at her. “Sometimes I forget how sassy you are, 'Lainy.”

This pleased her and she’d have retorted something deceivingly sweet, hadn’t her attention caught to whispering shadows, the feel of them slithering closer and the change of atmosphere that could only mean one thing. Her pulse picked up.

Cassian not as oblivious as she thought noticed her attention slipping. Hearing the footsteps in the hall, he grinned.

Shit. Elain hadn’t meant for him to glimpse this telltale reaction of hers. She saw the taunting forming on his lips.

But she wasn’t exactly up for his teasing, quickly pulling at the tendril of blackness and watching the glass of wine shatter to the ground. Cassian barked a curse and jumped back, eyeing the red liquid, clearly annoyed. The house—or rather the conscience attached to it—played into Elain’s hands, knowingly or not, when it cleaned the mess she’d made immediately. No stain of wine remained.

Claiming that he needed to talk to his mate this instant—muttering something about her conscience bullying him—he departed the room, almost colliding with another male who appeared in the threshold of the room. It seemed this one had followed the melody of her voice here. Azriel stepped out of Cassian’s way elegantly and watched after him in contemplation, a smile playing on his lips. Elain’s breath caught, heart thumping loud to her ears. He might even hear it all over the way across the room.

Their eyes met, causing a tingle all over Elain’s arms, that familiar pull of him a reminder of nights spent in the warmth of his embrace, breathing his scent of mist and cedar. Even though their last escapade had been just a few days ago—snuck away for an hour or two while no one looked, no one noticed—it felt too long. Her body, her skin was lamenting the absence of his hands, and it was worst when he came this close with no hope for salvation here and now. She would have to wait a few more hours for the chance to lose herself in him.

The shadowsinger must recognize the pain that was nothing short of hunger, for his eyes were a knowing, burning forest of hazel, licking fire from her head to toes as they roved all over. A smirk crept on his lips as color rose to her cheeks.

She counted them lucky that her scent was indiscernible.

“Having fun?”

The timbre of his voice was haunting the crevice where her ear met neck for it belonged right there.

“Tremendously.”

Although she tried to be casual, he must hear the unevenness in her voice. The male’s eyes danced in amusement, pleased. Azriel was a walking disaster. Elain’s very own beautiful ruin made flesh.

And the day of doom was slowly approaching with long legs and predatory purpose, pacing Elain’s heartbeat forward. It took great effort to tear her eyes from him and turn again, needing to regain her composure.

She wanted him, and months of being his lover had not reduced the thrill of this thing, secret and lovely, between them.

Her heart escalated anew every time, and it certainly didn’t help that they might be caught any moment—the secrecy added just another beat to her chest.

With the atmosphere in this room though, anyone coming in would sense the truth. The truth of what had been going on for the past months. What they’d been doing every time they were lost to the eye.

Oh scandal, how deep she’d fallen into the well of pleasure. How incongruously spectacular it felt to have him all to herself.

She was not one to share his attention, Elain found she was greedy like that. As long as no one knew—dear and most beloved family they were—Azriel was all hers, with stolen moments and most precious nights.

Precious and yet…so much less than what she wanted with him. She wanted all the nights, Elain realized.

“You shouldn’t be here,” she offered, playing her part. Weakly yes, but the words were there, and it was an endeavor with him so close. She smiled when Azriel didn’t stop closing in; he clearly knew how little she meant what she said.

“I just want a drink,” he said once he stood close to her back.

With Azriel in the same room, air was merely a gap to be sealed. The two had always been fighting a magnetic pull right there in the chasm of matter between them. Even now, it begged to be closed. So it was.

Barely-there friction kept Elain on high alert as Az drew near into the hollow of her throat, his hands coming up to cover her own that were gripping the marble of the counter. His fingers replaced the gaps between hers, and Elain inhaled sharply. The tip of Azriel’s nose was skimming down the line of her neck while he insisted on keeping the rest of his body on the other side of that pouch of useless air she wanted diminished into nothingness. Except, the shadowsinger liked the game they played, the teasing and tormenting in daylight where anyone might catch them.

“I’m fairly sure you won’t find what you’re seeking there,” Elain managed but yielded more of her throat to him by baring her neck. Azriel softly growled at this, at the female opening and offering her skin for him, contradicting her words with her need. And maybe some of it was out of frustration too, for he was so close and still unable to scent her.

Only when he risked the unbelievable and opened a fissure in her armor of invisible shadows—a crack in the veil that kept her scent from the world—the female knew he was equally longing for her. For the shadows were strictly necessary, and all that stood between their little scandalous secret and the Inner Circle finding out.

From the tiny gap he opened, the enigma of her nights escaped: the perfume of her body entwined with his—a mark of him she wore hidden in shadows so no one would know what they were hiding.

Keeping their scents concealed was essential in this game they played, a game of teasing and taunting in the open, of hiding and seeking just to be found entangled in the dark—a cold war of sorts, only that they tended to clash most of the nights.

And Azriel always found a way, he always made time, he always found the best excuses. He was also the perfect liar, but he’d never deceived her.

“This is just what I was looking for,” he uttered now, and inhaled.

She could feel him through the bond of shadows, sensed them deepen and gain, heavier, until she feared they might drip like black honey.

Somehow this was what had become of their relationship in the past few months, that soft, innocent friendship morphing into something as intense and focused as the shadowsinger himself. Something that felt right in all the best ways, having taken a thoroughly pleasing route.

Elain had always known they belonged together, and she’d been lacking this particularly crucial information then. If she’d known how absolutely phenomenal Azriel could make her feel, she wouldn’t have waited as long as she did.

By now, they precisely knew how they fit together best—and no one had even an inkling of their little arrangement. It was glorious.

Being constantly underestimated in the circle of Velaris’ Dreamers had its perks, for Elain got away with most mischief like messing with the Illyrian General with the help of her shadow-friends or secretly sleeping with the brilliant spymaster.

The secrecy wasn’t something they’d consciously decided on. It had initially risen from a need for privacy during the first few weeks of admitting into loving each other and somehow, it’d turned into a competition between them. Who would endure the teasing until they broke? Who would cave and beg for more? It turned out they were both excelling in stealth.

The excitement of meeting in secret wasn’t something they expected either, so none of them bothered with coming forth with the relationship either but simply kept going; stealing kisses when no one looked, bargaining longing glances for fleeting touches and if they dared, talking through the bond. Elain hadn’t this much fun in ages. Maybe ever.

Azriel’s lips moved over her throat now, pressing a kiss there and tempting a sigh out of the female. “You didn’t come last night, enaid.”

Mouth twisting into a smirk at the double-sensed meaning behind his words, Elain pushed back into his chest, stealing a moment in his embrace. “I might today.”

The male chuckled quietly, letting his hands wander up and down her naked arms. He pressed another kiss to the juncture of arm and shoulder and breathed. “I’d be honored. I hate not being able to scent you.”

She sighed again, feeling the same.

Azriel had sought relentlessly for a way to hide the revelatory essence of their perfume—even after a single night he was written into her skin—without having to hide from their family for hours or days until it wore off. Rhys found a way to keep Feyre behind a wall of shielding magic, so Azriel willed one for them too. A body fortress of shadows.

Elain was fairly certain he’d had to persuade Helion—a detour to Dawn on his way for a mission beyond the wall—into sharing every bit of knowledge he possessed of magical protection and shadowsinging. Az didn’t indulge her, but she was sure he’d bribed the High Lord with secrets to come forth with precious information and keep his mouth shut in the presence of the inner circle.

Now that Elain thought about it, her lover had gone to great lengths to keep this relationship secret; always excelling in being thorough and committed.

Yet recently she couldn’t help but wonder about certain what-ifs.

She pushed the thoughts from her mind and focused on the solid chest to her back, the sense of calm that settled in her being with his physical closeness. Elain even ignored they were standing in Nesta’s kitchen. Anyone might have found them in this compromising position. She didn’t really care if it were so.

“We were visiting father’s grave.” She angled her head and further burrowed into his warmth, hiding her face in the hollow of his throat. The place under his jaw leading to his chin was a wondrous one she’d claimed for herself. “That’s why I didn’t make it. It wouldn’t have felt right to sneak away from my sisters afterwards.”

“I understand, my love. You don’t owe me an explanation.” The heat in his eyes had simmered down to something else, something soft, not different—but kin. Origin. All he felt for her stemmed from this same emotion, the root to everything there ever was in the entire world. Without it, Elain wouldn’t know left from right.

“I know. I still wish I could have seen you. I could’ve used a hug.”

Elain sensed him smile against her brow. He wrapped his arms around her frame and engulfed her tighter. “You could’ve called me through the bond. I would’ve dropped everything and come for you.”

This time it was Elain who smiled, remembering that moment months ago, in the sunlit green of the river manor garden. His arms had been around her body then too, and his words—almost the same. That day was written into the book of her heart forever, the beautiful first chapter of a love story that was only theirs while everything that came before felt like a prologue too long.

“I know.”

He still was the same loyal, dedicated, and passionate male today as he was then.

And he kept warming her from inside out, had been giving her this phenomenal feeling ever since that night in the guest room bed of Feyre and Rhys’ home. In fact, it was such a relief to be close to him now, have their perfect little moment, that it physically pained her to know it might end in a few minutes—or whenever they were discovered.

The thought caused enough unwillingness that the shadows around them responded by gaining momentum. It surprised her, even though they were simply reflecting her sentiment.

Azriel noted the change in the shadows too. Elain felt him observe and probe, sensed him focusing on the bond. Before he asked about something she didn’t quite know a response to, the female lifted on her toes to press a kiss to his jawline, edging closer.

The desire was never far away, just barely beyond the surface and easily restored. She didn’t wonder if this was how mates felt after accepting the bond—because it was what she felt and what he felt, and that was the only thing that mattered—but she could still imagine it might be just the same. Elain always wanted him, with an insatiable, ever-burning flame that swallowed all the oxygen in her world. Every single atom of it made the fire want to burn brighter.

“We could simply leave now. Be alone again.” She kissed another spot, letting her hands wander to his. She made to turn in his arms, but he held her in place, even though he didn’t stop the attention she showed with her mouth.

He brought his hand to her chin and tilted her face until their lips aligned. He was intense once more, and Elain was likely to turn into jelly being such an intent focus of his attention.

“It only takes a word from you, fy nghariad.”

An offer and a promise—he left it to her completely, didn’t grant himself the opportunity to make a decision even remotely in the name of his beloved darling.

Beyond measure was how much she loved him for it.

After so many choices ripped from her, Azriel kept providing her with chances, allowed her to explore who she wanted to be. He made room for her when she was shrunk by expectations and altered the circumstances in her favor. He loved her like that, and she loved him just as much.

Elain loved him for his sharp edges, the cool cunning, the ruthlessness that reemerged from time to time when he dealt with his enemies; she loved him when he fell back to his old protective aloofness and anxiety, she loved him even when he shied from her. But she cherished him for his loyalty even more, the kindness and compassion he no longer hid from the world, and the most for his fierce warrior’s heart that must be so thoroughly woven by hope and goodness that it was the only explanation for how he’d made it alive out of his past.

She loved him, he loved her, and they both loved their family, little Nyx and her unborn niece in Feyre’s womb, so she finally turned in his arms and put her hands on his chest, making a decision with the only argument that mattered right now and forever—the origin to all. She’d return to her roots, into his arms, hopefully by night.

“Soon, my love.” Lifting onto her toes she chastely kissed his lips, barely connecting—lest temptation beckoned. A devilish smile followed as she peeled herself from his arms.

“Better start praying you make the night.”

tagging some people from my old taglist (not sure if y'all exist anymore 😭):

@abillionlittlepieces​ @actuallyacotartrash @ahappyhistorianreader @akb12348 @alicethelonerabbit @amitynotpity @angelofmusic81 @avenrebekah @azriel-is-my-cinnamon-roll @bo0k-h0e @carbconnoisseur @cass-nes @catastrophicideass @chemicha @classywastelandpirate @court-of-fuck-me-daddy @courtofjurdan @cursebreaker29 @dreamerforever-5 @drowning–in–fandoms @elriel4life @elriel-oblivion @emmejo26 @empress-ofbloodshed @everything-that-i-love @faequeenaelin @fangirlinthebuilding @flora-and-fae @florrama @fourshizzle149 @ghafaherondaleandmore @gigibaey @girl-who-reads-the-books @hav-illi-ard @hellas-himself @highqueenofelfhame @i-am-lost-in-my-world @ifangirlninja @illyrianbeauty @illyriangarbage @illyrian-bookworm @impossiblescissorspeachpaper @jemma-nessian-and-elriel @keshavomit @leiaamidala @librarian-of-orynth @liliantha @liliput2203 @literary-licorice @l0sts0uls1128 @lovinglyweirdfangirl @maastrash @magnificentcollectorkinglove @mis-lil-red​ @mu-si-ca-l @myshadowsingeraz​ @nalgenewhore @nightcourtcinnamonroll​ @notyourclassicshadowhunter @over300books @perseusannabeth​ @pipsqueakapeek @poisonous00​ @poisonwhiterose​ @qoingcrazy​ @queen-of-wings-and-fire​ @rapunzel1523 @red-dragon-princess-blog​ @rhysanoodle @rosierosieelain-blog @sezkins79 @sis-it-dont-add-up​ @sjmships @sleeping-and-books​ @snowflakesandstarlight @someonemagical @tanaquilpriscilla​ @thebriarpost @thefangirlofhp​ @ttakeitbacknoww @tryingtokeeptrying​ @tswaney17 @welcometothespeaknowworldtour​ @wolffrising​

(Not sure if any of my mutuals from many years ago are still here, doubt it, but say hi if you are!)

[julesherondalex]

Thank you for the kind mention 💜 lovely day to you too 😘

Day 100 of Spreading Elain/Elriel Positivity

I want to try and spread as much positivity to the Elain stans and Elriel shippers as I possibly can

Happy 100 Days of positivity!! I cannot believe that so many days has passed since the start of this series. I am trying to continue this series for as long as possible, since I always want positivity in the Elain and Elriel tags.

As we all know, this fandom can be harsh. However, many of the Elain stans and Elriel shippers have constantly made things better. From the theorists to the artists, you all have helped keep the ship afloat.

I want to show some appreciation to others, so here are a few accounts that you should look into!! I am sorry if I wasn't able to get everyone, please know that you are all important and I am glad that you are a part of this fandom.

Analyzers/Theorists

@dancingwithfae - amazing at analyzing characters and disproving anti arguments!

@dracolovebot - one of the longest Elriel defenders on Tumblr!! Look for one of their amazing posts that analyzes Azriel's shadows and what it means regarding ships

@elriell - formerly known as "silver-flames" they are one of the most popular Elriel blogs. Make sure to check out their theory that connects Elriel's book to Sleeping Beauty!

@hacawijo - this blog is just amazing when it comes to refuting anti Elriel arguments and proving why Elriel is endgame. Also founder of the TarGwyn ship lol

@icedflames - they have received so many asks about Elriel, and always gives great answers! Made many great parallel posts regarding Elriel

@juusworld5728 - amazing at defending Elain!! Their posts about why her book is next is just spot on

@mrspettyferr - their theories and posts providing parallels helps confirm that Elriel is endgame even more. They also have written some fanfics!

@offtorivendell - this blog provides some very well-researched theories that are filled with an insane amount of evidence and reasoning! Look out for the ones about Koschei

@psychee92 - this blog's theories about what the next book will be about leaves you with no doubts that Elriel is next!

@sciencebaetch - if you are wondering about the fourth dread trove item then be sure to check out this blog!

@silverdreamscapes - they provide some great posts that invalidates any of the anti arguments!

@silverlinedeyes - this blog has many theories but is most notable for the Lightsinger Theory!

@suelky - this blog has made many metas that will blow your mind. The one about Elain, Azriel, and Windows, is a must read!!

@wingedblooms - this blog has some very interesting theories, including one that connects Elain to the Welsh Spring Goddess Blodeuwedd!

Writers

@batboyazriel - great AU fics, including one called "Famously In Love"

@danydragons21 - check out their in progress multi-chapter fic "The Shadows That Sing"

@dottielovegood - “Pretty Little Angel” is definitely worth reading!!

@fawnandshadows - they are currently working on a "25 Days of Elriel" for December so be on the lookout!!

@featherymalignancy - such a talented writer!! You must check out their masterlist

@gopeachllama - check out their amazing fics and HCs!!

@gripefroot - You all must read their “A Court of Dusk and Shadows” fic that is set to have 33 chapters!

@insulindsay - incredible writer with the most heartwarming fics!!

@julesherondalex - they have some amazing work so definitely read their many Elriel fics

@nikethestatue - in addition to writing fanfics, this blog is amazing at answering any anon thrown their way!

@rhysanoodle - if you are looking for a lengthy fanfic to read then "Perfectly Aligned" is for you!

@snelbz - this blog has a variety of fics for whatever mood you are in with Elriel!

@thefangirlofhp - make sure to check out their wonderful Elriel one-shots that were done for this year's Flufftober!

@the-laughing-bubble - they have a couple of fics and some great HCS!!

@tswaney17 - the in progress multi-chapter "I Do Bad Things With You" is a must read!!

Artists

@demonlovesangel - this blog creates the cutest art of Elriel!!

@elisiarin - (on Instagram with the same name) such a wonderful artist! Their art is just so pleasing to look at

@livlochan - (on Instagram as livlochan.art) the way I cannot breathe when I see their art. Seriously, truly phenomenal!!

@sncinder - (on Instagram as sncinderart) so talented!! Such showstopping work

Instagram@: jessdraw.s - they make absolutely stunning work!! Elriel always looks gorgeous

Instgram@: one3yedneko - their Elriel art is so pretty!

Instagram@: theclever.crow - all of their art is incredible. They recently did an Archeron sister piece that is phenomenal

Bookstagram

Insta@: captnswreads - (on tumblr as @forget-me-not-s ) they make some great reviews and has commissioned quite a few incredible Elriel art!!

Insta@: courtofelriel - their aesthetic is just breathtaking. They frequently post credited theories and such!!

Insta@: stephdaydreams - this blog shares some amazing reviews and has commissioned a couple of great Elriel art!

TikTok

TikTok@: aelinelain - (on Twitter as twinklingminna and on Tumblr as @elrielgarden ) you will be mesmerized by their cosplay of Elain!!

TikTok@: hey_itsjoanna - their theories and predictions about the next book will reassure you that Elriel is endgame!!

TikTok@: fkzreads - in addition to Elriel be sure to watch their other great videos that will get you reading more!

Again I am so sorry if I did not get everyone. The Elain stans and Elriel shippers make the fandom worth it and I am so glad for all the people I have met. Whether you make 10000 word fanfics or you hit like on the posts, I am happy you are here!

Have a wonderful day my lovelies ❤️🌸🦇🌹💙

[julesherondalex]

Inktober - Day 15 - Dream. @inktober @neil-gaiman

[julesherondalex]

you know what, fuck this *animal crossings your zukkas*

[julesherondalex]

I have to laugh at the idea that Elriels are making Rhys into a villain, as if most Elriels don’t love him. (He’s actually my favorite character). Not everything is black or white, good or bad. The situation was much more complicated than that. I think most of us understand that he wasn’t coming from a place of maliciousness or hatred or even selfishness, but rather fear. He was afraid for Feyre, he was afraid for his court, and he was afraid for what it could mean for his tenuous political alliances. He was afraid but he wasn’t correct when it came to Azriel. And Azriel is partially to blame for that.

From the moment he summoned him, Rhys was angry and hostile and assumed the worst, but he never actually asked about Azriel’s feelings, and for that matter Azriel did NOTHING to help himself. He offered nothing of his true feelings probably because:

Azriel is unreadable and keeps his emotions and thoughts to himself. The man does NOT like sharing with people, I imagine less so when he’s cornered.

Rhys was incredibly angry and accusatory from the moment Azriel entered Rhys’s office, and it probably caused Azriel to shut down even more than usual

Azriel was never going to reveal his true feelings for Elain in a bonus teaser chapter most won’t read

I think SJM purposely didn’t want Azriel to reveal his true feelings because she wanted to leave Rhys, and perhaps even the reader, with the impression that it really was just about sex for Azriel. The ultimatum/conflict between Rhys and Azriel will probably play out for a little while, and I think it’s why SJM brought up the snowball fight and them trying to hurt each other with the rocks. There’s anger there for the both of them.

And honestly, Azriel has a lot of shame and guilt, and feels unworthy of Elain. He probably feels like Elain, along with everyone else, would be better off if she just accepted the bond with Lucien. If he’s not going to pursue her or be with her or have a future with her, what would be the point of correcting Rhys’s assumptions that it’s just sexual attraction and not something deeper?

Rhys is 100% the setup man for the angst/forbidden love trope, but nobody thinks he’s the “villain”. Rhys assumes it’s just sex and Azriel says nothing to correct him, and that’s why he tells Azriel to go fuck someone else and pay for it. But it’s a false assumption for the reasons above.

When Rhys says to Azriel “stay away from her or I’ll make you regret it.”, that’s the moment it becomes forbidden. And there’s no way I can see Azriel actually abiding by that order. At least not forever. At some point his feelings are going to override his high lord’s order. Ultimatums, especially based on false assumptions are meant to be defied. But again, Rhys is not a villain. He told Feyre that if Elain wants to break the bond, she would have their full support. And when Rhys finally realizes that it’s not just a sexual attraction on Azriel’s part, I think he would support Azriel and Elain’s choice completely. Nobody thinks Rhys is the evil asshole keeping them apart, but rather it’s the circumstances surrounding them, and that’s a big difference. These characters aren’t perfect or right or good 100% of the time and that’s ok. It doesn’t make them evil, it makes them nuanced.

[julesherondalex]

I think about this meme every single day

[julesherondalex]

“Say you’re sorry.”

“For what?”

“Just say it.”

Six of Crows, pg. 153.

[julesherondalex]

Killed a spider n now I feel bad :/

[julesherondalex]

one of the most amazing things that has been said to me in therapy is that self esteem doesn’t exist.

and that floored people and the psych went onto say that what she meant was that self esteem is a concept that actually includes a vast array of things and labelling them all as one thing is really limiting and prevents actual improvement

you could have real strong pride in the things you create and hate your body

you could hate your creations but also want to share them with people

you could not hate yourself at all but not take care of yourself, engage in reckless self endangerment

thats all bundled under ‘self esteem’ but saying ‘i need better self esteem’ doesn’t mean anything

whereas if you say ‘i need to work on ways to keeping myself safe, refusing to act on destructive urges’ or ‘i want to be in a place where i believe compliments trusted people give me’

thats concrete, thats a goal.

having it said in therapy helped a lot of people in my group stop saying ‘i have low self esteem’ and start specifying about the actual issue they have

[julesherondalex]

Kaz Brekker was grinning like an idiot.

Freddy Carter  SHADOW AND BONE Season 1 Bloopers

+

[julesherondalex]

head not empty. too many fictional characters wreaking havoc in it.

[julesherondalex]

[julesherondalex]

You draw?! This beautifully?! Holy shit, this is amazing! 💜

The Inner Circle’s favorite thing to do is excite a pregnant Elain just to watch her powers glow with joy. The imagery is one Azriel conjures up on his darkest days.

-Elain Archeron at Rosehall during her birthday, pregnant with her first child. The dress was a gift from her loving husband, Azriel, who is as besotted with her as she is with the gardens at the estate, and as fire loves innocence, and as secrets love to be told.

[julesherondalex]

STILL MY FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLD 💜💜💜 TY 💜💜💜

Elriel Artwork for @julesherondalex

<3

[julesherondalex]

We’ll never die

[julesherondalex]

Azriel thinking every little thing concerning Elain matters to him. Yeah, my heart right about broke then. 💔 So beautiful and heartbreaking!

Flufftober Day 4: Indirect Kiss

Fandom: A Court of Thorns and Roses Pairing: Elain Archeron/Azriel Characters: Elain Archeron, Azriel, Azriel’s shadows.  Rating: General Warnings: None Word Count: 2,733

indirect kiss (plural indirect kisses)

The act of kissing an object that someone else kissed recently, symbolizing a kiss between the two people.

Touching one’s lips to an object that someone else has touched their lips to (such as food or a cup).

“I know you want this as much as I do.”

His towering frame bent at the waist, affording more efficient eye contact for them both. His eyebrows curved up just slightly as the singular talent she possessed in her brows flaunted itself- it was one of the things he so ardently loved about her, amongst everything else. Elain had more control over the muscles controlling her eyebrows than he did over his own emotions and instincts. The way they practically danced with every change in facial expression brought him no little joy and small parts of grief that he couldn’t do the same.

Sometimes, she’d perform mesmerizing wave-like motions with those finely shaped brows that always resulted in his forgetting whatever he was about to say. It was the reason, amongst others as well, that he was so quiet in her presence. While his silence around others was an elected preference, his reticence around her was enforced upon him, and he was helpless to speak, much less even think.

“Well?” Elain quipped. “I know you have thoughts, my Lord. I can practically see the fog of dark and ominous happenings stirring around your head. Or is that just your hair?”

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[julesherondalex]

My heartttttt. I cry

Flufftober Day 3: Under The Rain

Fandom: A Court of Thorns and Roses Pairing: Elain Archeron/Azriel  Characters: Elain Archeron, Azriel, Helion Rating: General Warnings: None  Word count: 2,980

The rain soothed him.

It was a fact she had successfully gleaned through a series of considerate and careful observations over the years, and was proud of having it tucked in the folder of his personality that she kept in her mind. Elain wasn’t in the habit of diligently tracking the workings of the characters of the people around her, but he, she found, was a soothing volume to contemplate on the nights where the whispers in her head were too loud and sleep wouldn’t come collect her.

On a dim autumn afternoon where they gathered for yet another family meal in Feyre’s river house, Elain had passed by the family room briefly on her way to the stairs. The light rain drummed its fingers against the firmly shut windows, the wind whipping the droplets that rolled down in trembling fashion. Standing before one of the large vertical windows made of diamond panels, he was still against it. His forehead pressed to the cool glass as a child would seek a chilled hand in the throes of a fever.

It made Elain pause as her gaze automatically strayed and lingered on his figure, never quite following her conscious bidding when it concerned him no matter how much effort she put in. She’d yet to see him this relaxed more often- shoulders drooped as his head rested against the cold support, his arms still at his side and scarred fingers freed from any conscious clutch. His wings, habitually tucked away so sternly and tightly she often wondered if it hurt to keep them locked so terribly, were parted and angled downwards, and the tips of the largest edge had drooped to the carpeted ground.

His shadows had abandoned him, or he’d dismissed them- she couldn’t tell. But standing there, his face the picturesque frame of a man finally enjoying a moment of silence, Elain felt that he looked more human than anyone else she had ever seen. Which was an odd thing to notice, but Azriel looked little like the fae monster in Elain’s fairytales that had terrified her all her human life, and more like the simple lumberjack she used to observe in the town’s square. Those moments of serendipity as he finally sat behind the stack of his labor, collecting his breath.

But the more important thing Elain noticed was the ghost of a smile on his lips.

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